Being Ecclectic: Everything is a Fall-Back Plan?

There are a lot of Jacks-and-Jills-of-All-Trades out there.  It's hardly unique in a modern culture where anything you care to learn is a YouTube tutorial away.  I'm sure people who don't fit the bill even think it must make life easier to be good at or at least absorb so much.

It does.

But not really.  When you're tirelessly educating yourself, your humble brag switch is broken.  There is absolutely no way you can share everything you do and be believably modest.  Even with your ego dial turned down, your excitement is often plenty enough to spark envy. It's probably even impossible to NOT share because of all of the hard work you put in.  Hell, you could probably sit on it for a decade, but it eventually needs a home, whether it's in the spotlight or not.

And yes-- multi-talented people of all kinds are thought to always have a "fall-back plan." I'm sure you've heard sayings along these lines though: jack of all trades, master of none.  Even people with diverse talents tend to still gravitate towards an attempt to master one or two things.  Some of them would love to have always known that ONE thing they wanted to do and instead ended up being good at a lot of things. Good, but maybe not great or excellent.  They might be better than average but competing with the ones in the top of any field might hold certain disadvantages.  Because of this, they do have insecurities and confidence issues sometimes.  Admitting that something they thought they might love doing just isn't working is difficult.  Sometimes they have no clue it's not worth it until they try and square one never become a comfy place to be.

You're an ass to some of the people who inspire you.  You can't just do what someone you admire is doing.  It's not that you're trying to do it better, but even when they think it is, your excitement or lack of confidence even will be seen as deceptive and insulting sometimes.  Maybe you got it down on your first try and it took them years to get it. You're an ass. You might not mean to be, but when you emulate someone, it might demean their hard work.  You can't possibly expect them to be happy for you.  They'll try at first, but you got in their lane.

There's no attempt to vilify either side here.  It's about instances of human understanding and misunderstanding.  The gist of it is that it is yet another perception or idea that keeps putting people in boxes.  Don't know about you-- sick of all the boxes myself. 

On a personal note, I have gone through massive phases of change trying to find where I fit and I've worn too many outfits at once sometimes.  Spent years hopping around unsatisfactory sales jobs.  Went to college--no one thought I'd stick with it but I did.  Afterwards I thought everything would be different.  I tried freelancing and crochet crafting and so much about art fell flat in those places for me.  I kept them as hobbies.  I'm sure many people think writing and illustrating will be more of the same.  Can't say I blame them.  However, writing carried me through the hardest times of isolation and pain, gave me purpose, something I can do when I can barely move.  It was always there-- it's just newborn in visibility.  Honestly I thought it all sucked for a long time.  I scrapped a lot that went south.  The dialogue was cheesy (think bad anime), the characters were shallow, the prose was colorful but a chore to get through (think purple). The series that I am releasing?  I didn't like it for maybe 6 of the 10 years since I started it.  For some reason, I kept getting drawn back.  I think now though that maybe it was a story that was waiting for me to mature into seeing it through.  Maybe someone who always knew what they wanted to be was never going to see it through, but I'm glad I did.

And now I get to be the asshole author that won't shut-up about it.