When We Look For Advice, We Aren't Looking for 'Experts'

If just looking for experts in a field was a surefire way to be like them, to have just a little taste of their success or find the perfect method. Yet pour through their blogs, videos and podcasts and even those who aren't selling pills, webinars and their time/expertise (the ones with freebies) are often dishonest, if only because they don't mention one thing at some point.

They honestly have no clue how they made it.

Each of them spout hard work, opportunities, but again-- if they don't throw luck in there, it's not quite honest.

Fans could easily tell you what they like about your work. Trolls can tell you why they dislike it. Between those extremes, you may get a more level-headed assessment but that doesn't mean you'll find the definitive answer there.

Now, I didn't go looking for the magic pill to write this. Maybe ten or fifteen years ago, I sought out this elusive magic and learned that even when something works, it may not work again or time will alter how something affects you. Adaptability and personal tolerance are factors, not just chemically, but physically, mentally, emotionally. If you have a doctor/friend/guru that truly cares about you, you'll face several adjustments to your journey or need a new mentor altogether when you feel they're just not jibing with what you need. You may need help, you may need isolation and reflection. 

I did go hunting for current videos/blogs/etc. offering advice. It wasn't so much to find something new to try. More often than not, they're echoes of each other, but if you're lucky you might find one using a unique voice or just a little tweak from what you've tried, something that might actually be the breakthrough in your doubts that keeps you going. 

When we look for advice, sometimes we're just trying to touch base with parts of ourselves buried under a muck of other priorities. We're looking for the meditation to find what we want to be doing. Some of us are fine with delving into fiction and wandering until we stumble on what we didn't know we were looking for. I have the habit of looking for non-fiction articles, a quick fix before I get into creation.

This is largely why I've never taken to the 'how many books have you read in x amount of time' fad. I don't keep track and lately, I haven't read books. If I sit down to read a book, it has to be concentrated on in one sitting or a handful of days consecutively or it gets lost when my brain discards it in favor of what it thinks it needs to work. Reading, as a writer, is important. However, the marathons aren't the only efforts that count. Look at track events in the Olympics that are done in the blink of an eye. There are years of discipline jammed into small parcels. It's a great place to learn how to condense big ideas.

While I do look at novels for methods of the long game, I always feel my attention is engaged more when authors aren't aiming for high word counts with poetry and filler. It's the kind of author I aim to be now. However, I also like to write those detail-heavy stories (romance is one such place that uses this) that let you exercise your ego and penchant for observing and capturing every detail. I sometimes read what I'm not at all fond of just to assess why I don't. It's easy to write what you don't want to read when you don't make the conscious effort to avoid it. Your brain just sometimes flows with the familiar, not whether you should or shouldn't, but you can always train your brain to pick up on it later.

Yeah, I could write a blue streak about why women are drawn to 'romantic detail'. The gist of it being that many females are more biologically attuned to haptic stimulation, and any pursuit that simulates control over touch can be not just an aphrodisiac, but a high level mental stimulus. This is also connected to why women tend to be drawn to repetition (puzzle and simulation games, 'you've read one romance, you've read them all.'). I wouldn't say it's a rule, all you 'not one of those women', however, it's a fascinating read in female psychology how sex, for women, isn't always just about sex. Even being a non-traditional female, it turns out I do share and utilize feminine-dominant traits and I'm not at all ashamed of that. I'd love to go into this subject someday but this isn't the day.

'Experts' aren't the only ones with insight, is what I'm getting at. I'm no self-proclaimed sexpert or psychologist but I bet you could pick anyone's brain on something they've been intrigued about and come up some more unique takes on your theme involving it. Look for stimulus. It's amazing for writer's block too.