Fat Acceptance: Why It's Important

Let me put some history out there first. Up until I was 27, I was always a normal weight. As an adult, I was even leaning on the underweight side of my BMI range. However, gaining muscle and curves were a part of my genetic make-up, the gathering of padding on my thighs and upper arms that only starvation or drastic surgery would ever touch. My bone structure is very broad for a woman-- broad shoulders (my mom cut the shoulder pads out of the horrible padded sweaters that were trendy in the 80s and people didn't realize they weren't padded), broad hips, thick ankles but thin wrists. As an adult, I never wore less than a size 6 because I had an ass and hips. Until stretchy denim came into my life, there was no such thing as a perfect fit. That being said, even when I was healthy and fit, I'd been hearing people call me 'fat' since I was 16. There are very few pictures of me past the age of 14. Body dysmorphia made me see a good 30+ pounds more than was there and I'd get pissed when people thought it was cute to take candid photos.

No one could beat me up quite like I beat up myself. Like actual obese people, I'd make fun of myself to beat someone to the punch. I don't buy into social justice, but the proponents of the movement have a point-- good intentions, harsh criticism, everyone 'weighing in' on first world obesity issues--each negative, snide, fake concern has not slowed a health problem from escalating. Not necessarily neglect or fetishism, but the simple fact that food processing and genetics suck sometimes. Some people have said that the negativity made them lose weight and get healthy. For people like me, 20 pounds overweight and plateaued-- at some point, the only choice is body acceptance and learning how to educate people (or just tell them to fuck off).

I have a body that defies starvation. Also, this is part of women's biology that is just stronger in some of us. Our fat receptors are actually more keen on holding onto fat, conserving it, at the first hint of starvation. Our hormones may even shut down our fertility abilities if we are consistently underweight/undereating (or morbidly obese, in which case all organs become crowded and encumbered). I tried overambitious fasting for a month, 20 hours fasting, 4 hour eating window, 1500 calories. I maintained my weight that month. I've gone as low as 800 calories. Lost my already low energy reserves and gained 3 pounds in two weeks doing that. I am not sedentary so what the hell is up with metabolism that simple formulas aren't seeing?

You can argue it's impossible-- calories in, calories out; it's science! Sorry, but I even tracked my intake religiously and it's not. I did have victories even. I lost 65 pounds, did the P90X3 challenge 3 times, P90X once, all after starting the Slim in 6 to work up to circuit training. I injured myself a lot but kept going. Got down to the cusp of a normal BMI-- then my metabolism plummeted and chronic pain slammed with a  vengeance. It took six months but 20 pounds crept back on. My muscle is at least good at maintaining for a while, but the damage does creep back.

I really envy men on diet because they can cut out sugar and lose weight. I've never been big on sweets so I didn't really have much to cut there anyway. (I'm a salty snacker when the mood strikes.) Most tried and true diets you see on the internet are based on studies and results involving men. Once I realized this was what kept screwing me up, I started to specifically type in 'for women' with every search. Men and women have very different hormonal concerns. In the realm of women, we have issues like PCOS, osteoporosis, and iron-deficiencies more common in our concerns but the WAY we store fat is vastly different. Women store most fat just under the skin (subcutaneous) while men tend to gain the bulk of fat around organs (beer bellies and chicken legs abound).  Yes, some lucky women can handle a man's methods. But when you have specialized needs, a general mass-marketed one-size-fits-all will do you as much good as store-bought pants did me.

Let's talk about metabolism a bit. Many women who develop eating disorders or fast obsessively end up unable to metabolize if we ever try to eat normally. (I haven't researched this in men. Bulimia is actually the more common eating disorder in men, but that's about the extent of what I know.) There's a reason why severe anorexics are not encouraged to gorge. They can slam into hypertension and obesity much faster than their body can handle because their metabolism is so low that they have to be carefully trained to handle calories again.

The anti-fat acceptance people have no actual desire to understand the science behind why so many first world countries have fat people that actually try to lose weight, but can't be Hollywood thin. Even if they absolutely love their obesity and glorify it, I'm fucking tired of hearing that it's unhealthy, that it's a bad example for kids. Do you REALLY care? Is the aesthetic of it so awful? Let's face it, a fat country means airplane seats will have to get bigger. There will be less people in line for roller coasters. I see fat-bashing applied to people that can fit in one airplane seat, ride roller coasters, and could actually fucking outrun some of these tired, equally unfit thin people. 

Oh, and it doesn't stop at fat acceptance. I'm well aware that fat people are flipping the script and accusing thin people of starving (eat a cheeseburger!). There are also hyperthyroid and high-metabolism people that have to bust ass to build muscle at all and are actually thin-fit. Which is actually a rarity. Even a good deal of Instagram girls with abs have no muscle tone in their legs and arms. You might not be able to target how you lose fat, but it's abundantly clear that you can overtarget muscles. Hence the jokes about skipping leg day. In truth, many things people who 'eat anything they want' are just as likely to be heading for a heart attack. Thin does not automatically mean healthy, but it doesn't mean sick either. Body weight is a lot more complex. Check out a site called Smart BMI for info on how age and sex and muscle mass even affect what healthy weight is. 

Again, I don't have a dog in their fight either. Their health, their looks, their bodies-- most people are dealing with shame or fear of getting sick or fat/thin, even when they seem to be oozing confidence. I really only take issue with the trolls. No, not internet trolls. Seriously, that's all a bunch of people screaming into buckets. However, when people think it's empowering or courageous to opine about someone else's body, good or bad, to their face, it crosses the line. 

My married friend lost a lot of weight too and one of the parents up at the school my nephews and her daughters go to was constantly commenting on how fit she looked. At first, she took it as a compliment, but at some point, you could tell it crossed into uncomfortable (namely when he said he liked that she still had a butt and it bounced when she walked). It's odd how inappropriate and oblivious people can get when they consistently cross a line. It gets the creepy vibe of grooming, where someone you'd rather get along with starts playing chicken with how far they can push.

In case, I'm being too vague, let me just say it right out. Fat acceptance isn't a national crisis. Humans are still spawning at irresponsible rates and the information to change bad habits is available. Smokers still choose to smoke even knowing the risks. People will change or they won't. Sometimes it takes a big health scare to even notice the weight that crept on or whether it's worth backing out of a bad habit, if it's really going to make out worth living. All the time, it's really none of your business. It's not. I know some people can't really get that to sink in. We have a president so off the rails that even misplaced egos seem trivial in comparison.

This isn't contagious. You can't catch it. You have to look at it, smell it, sit next to it? Poor you. Life must be hard when you can't surround yourself with perfection. I get it; some people are terrified it could happen to them. I'll be the first to agree with you that we can't normalize junk food, that healthy foods should be more affordable and accessible and not marketed as health foods when they're not and marking them up to prey on people's ignorance. It's not even a crime to start talking about exercising, even striking up a group conversation to see what people know. We shouldn't clam up with honest conversations but diplomacy is an art worth mastering.

Maybe some fat person will scoff and mumble about eating more cheesecake. So what? Let it go. If you're doing your thing for you, why let it bother you when they don't get excited or possibly snipe out of shame or despair? You cannot take it personally when someone makes a choice. Yes, even if they spread those bad habits to their children. Still. Not. Your. Place. One thing that irritates me about the virtue signaling is that it's never actually real empathy or sympathy. It's self-serving. 'I told you so.' 'I tried to warn you.' Fuck off. Just because doctors can be self-righteous dicks who haven't updated their knowledge in 20 years doesn't make them experts on everyone, so you with your Google self-education are not the better choice.

Heh, I apologize for the 'you' generalization. Apparently there are some people that don't understand its passive use, but most of you will get the device. Truth is, there are so many people that claim to be experts with no actual research. They cherry-pick what celebrities or trends feed the masses and are content to spew ignorance as fact. People, this isn't progress. This is regression. Social justice trying to further divide people is not progress. Investing in other people's religion, racial and gender identities, etc. is not progress. Someone's body? Not. Your. Problem. There are consequences to actions. Sometimes society and laws and individuals are wrong, but none of it gives us license to claim to be victims when we know we pulled the first punch. If you are truly well-meaning, then get your vlogging or personal training education on and help the people who are looking for.  Go after the food industry for their incentivizing excess and making healthy food cheap (or mislabelling). You're not a hero for throwing gasoline on someone when they're on fire.

I'd be happy to admit I am willing to edit any misinformation I may have, but you can't negate personal experience, tell me I don't know what happened to me (unless I'm somehow blackout drunk or drugged).

Busy day, so I'll leave it here. I got up super early to haul 30 gallons of water up and down the stairs, do three loads of laundry (two more to do tomorrow), did my usual walk ten minutes faster than the usual (4 mph, baby! WOO!), my floor exercises, and prepped some meals for the week. lol Passed out for a couple hours, but I'm so ready for bedtime tonight.

Have some note-taking to do for my stories (love printing out my notes once I'm done with the Pigpen style swirls of correction; I have not the patience to let white-out dry). I'll finish up my night that way-- nice and zen.

Seriously, I'm a really down-to-earth person. I've even been called sweet or considerate at times. I do consider all viewpoints, I REALLY do. I even 'switch sides' and play the devil's advocate even when I agree with you because I want to make sure I'm not just entertaining a bias. As far as sides go, I'm not really about picking them but about building bridges. Petty misunderstandings are usually just mental laziness and I am anything but. If I can help people find a middle ground, that's one place I'm glad to be selfish too.