Christmas Comes

Things crocheted yet another weekend of working awaits. Yet as the work is done, the dream only strengthens. I feel my worlds beckon and it's almost time to absorb myself in those places they offer once more.

I think fondly of my flagship series. I wonder what it can become once I find it a wider audience. It's been the crux of a massive change in my life. Like becoming a college graduate, becoming a published author is something I carry with me always. It's one of those titles I kind of want to blurt out every time I meet someone. I had the courage to turn a long time dream into a medium I could share. I was able to become more than just another person who is writing a book. Not that I'm not always writing a book-- even when I finish one, there are five more in various stages of completion.

Right now, I'm anxious to let everyone see the gifts I made them. Crocheting is tough on hands, time and delicate fingers, not to mention posture. Yet the time I put into it makes me proud to suffer and sacrifice to make these things, to make people happy through what makes me happy.

The creation process is just as much frustration as it is joy. I can't tell you exactly what makes self abuse through creation so irresistible but I'm always looking a few steps ahead, anxious to make it something tangible. There are these tiny moments in there where I perfectly understand the insane magnetism and it must be those moments that make the hundreds of hours worth it. Yet when people use words to say they can't do what I do, I still don't quite understand why they consider it focused or disciplined or that they're too restless. Creation is chaos, turbulence, always transforming. I'd understand it more if they said that taming it is like trying to scoop dry sand with a fishnet. You can eventually pile it up with what you've got, but you'd get there quicker if you think of what needs to happen to make it work better. Wet the sand and the castles fall into place (although honey or glue are a few tricks of the trade too).

Anyways, look forward to a relaxing Christmas and then the return to writing and editing. Castles to build, after all!