I Ruin Words. You're Welcome!

Inspired by a post from a talented writer friend of mine, Matt Roberts (post here but hit subscribe too), I thought I'd get into my love of all things wordy.

Now, I don't really think I'm a one-person army of maiming the current generational words but I do find that merely using them around my nephews' friends is often a way to get them not to use them around me. Often, I think the main purpose is to kind of speak in code and delight in annoying or confusing us old fogeys. However, I do embrace creative word use. What I don't embrace is cultural elitism or that rude way people will talk about you in another language when they think you don't understand it.

My generation often spent weekend afternoons with foreign language books looking up dirty words for fun. I'm pretty keen on all the ways people call me 'white bitch/foreigner/stupid' etc.

I'm not out to make them uncool but it's often the inevitable result of using them. It's the same reason why puns became so unpopular when I was a kid (and why I use them now--even the cringey ones delight me). Older generations, no matter how naturally or appropriately we use them, are meant to be locked out. However, it's equally useless to try to shame me out of doing it. I'm shameless and I'm likely to use dictionary words that will have them poking at the dictionary their phone came with, assuming they bothered to notice it.

I don't think kids are stupid or hopelessly entitled. Adults overlook things just the same but I tend to give kids these days some leeway. Their options are staggering and even with the world at their fingertips, they're still kids which means they prefer crass YouTubers over the news. Hell, I prefer that myself. You won't see me posting about anything I've seen on the news because I haven't. I don't expect kids to be held to the highest standards.

All the same, they're smart and full of potential, traits that I truly aim to nurture in them. I don't dumb down my words and, through hearing it used, even if they don't know if their phone has a dictionary, they're also more likely to ask me on the spot what a word means. Even when they try to exclude me, I don't reciprocate it. I aim to include, to be fascinating even, an example for why fitting in isn't always in their best interest.

It's okay to be an outsider. It's okay to take chances and try something new. It's okay to be the adult around kids. Even as an adult, the urge to be childish or impulsive doesn't vanish. Instead of shaming a kid for their language, I've found it's best to ignore it or use it. 

I've never told a child not to use the word 'fuck' around me. I do, through example, show how words can be more effective, but setting limits by themselves isn't convincing. Not to an adult and not to a child. Hurt your foot, all one word expletives are acceptable. Anger at a situation, go ahead and fucking talk about your terrible fucking day. However, with kids, I make it clear that what is tasteless is labeling. You can say she's acting like a bitch, but not that she is one. Why? Because there are few things about people that are permanent or certain and that falls under dishonesty, a trait that people don't respect and I strongly dislike. To be respected, you even avoid abusing words like 'always' and 'never' too--they often negate the times they've acted otherwise. Even with people you don't like, mislabeling them is more a discredit to you which will affect your reputation. You run the risk of being disregarded as a liar, a gossip, and so on.

What you say and do reflects more on how people view you than who you're targeting. No matter which words you use, assumptions will be made. You can't be in control of how you're received but it certainly pays to take the time to enact some diplomacy, to get better at anticipating context or defending your usage.

If you're going to ruin words, do it the right way, fam. Remember that a word's true purpose is to create understanding so consider it your duty to seek understanding before you're quick to dismissing it. Seriously, dude...