We Are

Something about that heading made me 'arrrrrr' with a pirate's gusto, but otherwise, we are... What now?

Well, what are writers?

Are we desperate people with useless dreams?

Are we the laughing stock of a practical family?

Are we lauded dreamers forging ahead?

Are we funny, witty, social butterflies?

I've seen writers try to answer this question a lot. I gots me a story. I can't imagine doing anything else. You know the drill.

As many times as I've tried, the truth is this: that changes as much as my best attempts at planning. I'm not the same writer day to day. There are days I don't write. There are days where that I'm glued to my keyboard until my bladder threatens to explode. There are editing days and thinking days, days where I do everything, days where I kind of just drift. Can't say I ever do nothing because even when I'm sick, I'm still turning those snot-crusted wheels.

It's just as easy as saying what a writer isn't, which isn't easy at all. A writer can actually not write for years then pick it up again. In a way, it's like an addiction. You can kick the habit but you can easily pick it back up again.

One thing about identity that can never be said enough is that if you don't define yourself, others will try to do it for you. Hell, people will try to define you anyway, so you owe it to yourself to think hard about it.

Before you tell someone you've been a writer since you could hold a pencil or someone tries to tell you what a real writer is. You're who you say you are because you are. Now, you can't make other people believe you. People will always come along with the One True Scotsman Fallacy, but chances are, if they're so opposed to your identity, it's best you just move on.

As a writer, everyone is not your audience. Everyone will not buy into your identity. For some fantasy fans, Tolkien is Good, but I'm just not a huge Lord of the Rings fan and I actually liked the Hobbit movies better anyway. The books were just okay for me.

So. What you are, what we are, it doesn't have to be anything. Keep people in your life that understand your passions and really, ignore the rest. I've been in the position many times where people tried to assume I was a good or bad person and sometimes that's only based on whether they had a good or bad day and they're just projecting that on me. Over time, I've learned to swallow the impulse to react, then I take a breath and calmly tell someone that they really have no business assuming anything. Oh, they still will, and I'll have days where my impatience level is an instant 'fuck you' but that's life. The truer you are to who you want to be, the easier it is to face yourself.

Who we are... Is who we want to be. The best advice is the simplest, the sort open to interpretation. When my mom died, I watched an episode of Sherlock Holmes where Watson had just lost his wife. In one moment where neither knew what to say what came out simply was perfect: It's not okay, but it is what it is.

For me, profound moments don't always come from witty diatribes. Because strong emotions are very difficult, sometimes we reach people best when we throw out a blank. We say enough that they can fill in the sentiment and subtly show that we know pain. We don't have to explain that someone we love died too or that we know how they feel. We don't and we do, and mostly, getting along with each other is in the simpler expressions.

Just to throw the net in another direction, let's throw in some creative food for thought. Take a phrase and the reply that is trite or overused like "I love you" and "I love you too" and try to create a sort of secret code between the people that say it. For example:

Thank you --- You're not completely useless.

You're welcome --- I have my moments.

I can't tell you how much this makes small talk conversations way more fun to read and write. How about another?

How are you? --- Not dead yet?

I'm fine, and you? --- No, but when I see you, I wish I was. Do me a solid and beat me to it.

Okay, okay, not all of them are mean-spirited but my renditions of "I love you" are in my books and I don't want to spoil how ridiculously sweet they are. I do tend towards smart-assery and dark humor though so let's not pretend I'm sugar and spice. 

Before I cut this off, do yourself a solid and, even if you can't write, do a little wordplay everyday. This goes for my reader friends. Nothing staves away the risk for brain related illness like using your noggin. Who knows; you may actually enjoy it and be more fun at parties.