Ding Dong Ditch

Before cell phones and internet, we had prank calls on landlines (until the dreaded *69) and Ding Dong Ditch to ghost and harass people...

But this is about neither. I thought of this after posting a comment on a social media platform I don't use often. I'm a Ding Dong Ditcher of comment sections, but there's a good reason I've started this as an unofficial policy.

For one, I often choose heated topics that seem multifaceted and considered but often carry a myopic bias. This means I am looking for a diplomatic way to tell someone they overlooked a sometimes simpler solution. At the same time, I'm not there to field a writer's emotional responses if they lash out. Is it a failure for me to deliver the proper context or a failure on their part to take criticism without it putting them on the offense? Eh, I'm not sure I care right away, but at some point I will. Conversing is part of the learning, but I do have selfish and specific motives for how I deal with it.

As do we all, but I'm not here to force everyone to admit something either.

Hitting publish is something I attempt to avoid when I am most vulnerable, but a comment is a drive-by, even when carefully considered. Not only is there a chance that their fresh posting is leaving them soft-shelled, but there's a risk that I am even not prepared for the discussion.

Right away, that is.

So after saying my piece, even if I ask a question, I don't immediately look for a response or even outright ignore the notification. I often endeavor to forget, leaving notifications hanging to return later. I've never been an immediate responder to texts or messages or calls. Even with friends, I give them specific outlets for the hierarchy of where they'll stand a better chance of a quick response.

I'm sure some might take this as a sign of weakness, but it's more an eccentricity. I'm not out to avoid, but being committed to a public discussion or social situation means I avoid my usual instinct to react on impulse, and want to consider, or even forget, to look at something more critically, to be more considerate. This is not about dangling people along or enforcing patience. I just refuse to be rushed or baited into an emotional response. In my eyes, I'm being respectful and rational, though we can agree to disagree.

The analogy ends with the initial disappearance. I return, after all. Sometimes they don't reply or ignore it. At that point, it's done. It's not for me to demand knowledge of whether they've read it or acted on it. What else? Well, sometimes they thank me, politely or not, and say they've considered it or disagree. It's actually pretty rare that one who considers themselves a professional regresses to butthurt. In that case, my usual response is to walk away. On occasion, oh happy day, discussion happens, new friends or colleagues are made, the sun glitters on the ocean.

Ha, I suppose this is my own defensive response to avoiding a discussion I've started. However, it's because it's been misconstrued that I find it's one of those things I enjoy correcting. Sure, I avoid all messages starting with 'hey' and I have pet peeves in conversation, but I've discussed that too. Those who know me are well-versed in my ways and I in theirs and we still adore each other, so I'm a fan of making things clearer to bypass the sticky parts.

I don't really have hard rules and sometimes people decide to test my sense of humor and patience by pushing a button. I put it out there, knowing that was a risk. Sometimes I respond to the humor, sometimes I'm just not in the mood and I'll tell you to fuck off. Don't take it personally. If I'm talking at all, you haven't been exiled. 

Fuck if I know what I'm talking about. Late night healing pain and all, I think it's time to wander off and prepare for going to battle with my friend Monday. Lots to do so I want to tackle it with more brain cells than what I ended up with today. Knock on wood...