Help Them to Help You

Creative sorts often blog about the many ways to rescue yourself from a creative block, but a great deal of them are hyper-focused on self-care and even a bit too much faking your way through it.

Don't get me wrong--those things do help, but sometimes you exhaust the list, constantly overlooking a really precious experience.

Be a mentor.

I'm not talking about going on group forums and giving sometimes insincere pep talks to everyone brave enough to post their work. Crowd boosting feeds you only the general energy of a crowd, which in turn, actually isolates you from the benefits of real problem solving and learning through a genuine meeting of minds. Pick a passion project. This means to find one person's work who screams at you, no matter how rough, and pursue working with them. No strings attached, no swaps, no fees, no using them to boost or talk about your own work.

It takes serious discipline, to reach out and offer your own expertise without seeking a possible client or fan. You don't have to give it anymore than you're willing to, but make good on whatever you tell them you'd like to help with. Give a brief intro of your experience if you like, but focus on giving them real feedback. Personalized feedback is going to endear them to the idea of sharing, but giving them a piece of your intentions and integrity is a responsibility you can't give lightly. If you agree to take on work outside of what drew you in, don't get squeamish there. Bluntly tell them that that work doesn't interest you, but still commit to telling them why. Even if it's just as simple as not liking the genre or not connecting with the characters, offer something specific, but encourage them to keep offering samples because of that initial connection still keeps you interested.

Remember to set boundaries if they push huge tasks on you that you don't have time for. It often helps to commit to reading only short stories or first chapters. Ask questions that show you've made the effort to pay attention. The more honest you are about how interested you really are, the less you'll corner yourself into reading more work that doesn't grab you, to the point you'll regret and even resent the work and possibly ruin a valuable relationship.

Remember, if you run into the opportunity to genuinely like someone's work when you're hitting blocks with your own, be sure to tell them that their work may inspire you in your own and you may become unavailable. All the same, be prepared to wrap up your obligation to them. They may even happily tell you to postpone it, simply flattered they've given you that spark and send you off to patiently await your availability again.

I've very gladly taken on many beta reading projects without an expected return and I've spoken about this before, but when you take out money or deadlines or expectation, you truly open yourself and your work to amazing new opportunities for personal growth. When asked why I don't charge for it, it's a no-brainer for me: as a professional, I would be paid for work someone wants me to do, but it is not entirely selfless when it's the other way around. I am asking for the privilege to pursue work I enjoy, work that I believe can help me become better at what I do. Through selected experience, I am able to later charge others more.

This isn't the same as working for exposure. As I've said, my offer is extended in the honesty that I am offering only the time I am willing in such a way that doesn't disrupt my own work. I am not looking for a résumé entry, although you can bet your ass that if one of my selected projects gains notable success, I'm attaching my own contribution to it. 

Leading from there, this also why I contribute my expertise to sites like Quora. Even though the platform is crowded with absurdly vague questions, I like to select the ones where I can establish some real solutions. Livelihood is about contribution, not just for myself, but for the benefit of others... And then feeding it back to myself again. I do expect my efforts to come back for my benefit, just not in the exact way some might expect them to.

As always, my choices are about growth and change and when something isn't working, the problem is often with the way I'm approaching it. Am I holding myself back by not proving to be more mentally flexible to the problem? If so, it's time to use my skills to broaden my horizons, acquire new skills or start a new professional relationship.

Since marketing is a weakness, I knew one of those relationships would need to involve that. In return, I offered my own skill set and found a beneficial trade there. 

These things don't exactly fall into your lap just because you want them. Often, months or years have gone by before that opportunity comes along. You can't spend the time in-between anxious, wistful and desperate. Just like it's near impossible to attract a romantic relationship by wallowing in self-pity rather than bettering yourself, you can't expect people to want to work with you when you haven't shown what you are actually doing. My books have been out for a couple of years now and the sales are low and I have no reviews. Rather than letting that get me down, I acknowledged early on that the work had to keep building. More books, more stories, more drawings, more planning. I've had to start investing in new technology and what I'll need to successfully run a convention or trade show booth.

Ahem. So. Essentially, what you sometimes need is a passion project that isn't your own work. Some writers really get mired in their own ego, afraid that liking someone's work more than their own will cripple them. So stop being afraid and lose some ego. Get lost in a new story and remind yourself why you turned to writing. You still get to use some of your expertise and even some degree of empathy, knowing that you're actively working with the author who cares about the work. It's passive yet interactive and a truly wonderful experience in most cases.

This may not be the same for you, but the benefit of using a group to find these projects is that I look at how they are responding to criticism of their work. If they are getting too defensive, wounded or hostile, I back away whether I like it or not. It's important to find some compatibility when it comes to exchanging honesty. If I spot someone who writes well, is interesting AND handles themselves diplomatically, I'm in. I can handle young and inexperienced writers, but diplomacy is very important to inspiring the process that can help both of us.

So don't overlook an often untapped fount for inspiration. The prospect of working with people who I truly believe have a shot at success is thrilling. I'm not looking to hitch my success to that, just to improve the quality and passion of my own.

But I'm gonna brag on them every chance I get, with every milestone they achieve. Isn't it always a bit more gratifying when your favorite garage band becomes an international sensation? Being that day one believer is always a bragging right!