Time to Ramble!

So, it’s been over a month since I even thought about blogging last and I have no idea where to start. I am fully vaccinated at this point and I keep buying ‘just one more doll’ to the point where I’m certain my bedroom will eventually be entirely filled with dolls and cat toys at some point in the future.

I have been very sporadic and unplanned when it comes to projects. Even my weight loss plans are completely impulsive. Consistent but still impulsive.

In the three months since I’ve started, I’ve lost a little more than 12 pounds. For the past two weeks, I’ve been fluctuating between 208-210 pounds. I’ve been drinking over 100 oz of water a day, working out from between 18 minutes to two hours, and eating between 1200-1500 on most days, no more than 1800 on a cheat day.

Two hours of exercise though; sounds like a lot but those are just days when I don’t want to do cardio or strength and opt for a more relaxed but still demanding 10K steps a day. I know some of you are saying, whoa, I can math and 8 eight-ounce glasses is 64 so why over do that too? Well, I do sweat and workout more so the minimum recommendation is an ounce of water for every 2 lbs of weight. Say I’m 210; that’s 105 oz of water. And yes, at first, it makes you pee a lot but eventually your body doesn’t flush it so fast and maintains more of it for sweat and increased activity. As for diet and lower calories, I don’t restrict what I eat. I can eat garbage but that puts a huge dent in the calorie count so most days you will make better choices just so you can eat more. And sometimes I’ve maxed out the calories I’m hoping to stop at but hunger hits with a vengeance. I keep Quest protein bars on the ready. About 200 calories, but they are balanced on the macros and full of nutrients so it doesn’t throw me into a huge binge/craving mode.

Let me add, there is no non-frustrating way to lose weight. I’ve tried it all and you really start to crave all that weight gone just so you can get those more satisfying maintenance calories. When losing weight, you’re aiming for 500-1000 less calories than you’ll use in a day just to drop one or two pounds in a week. I’ve gone super strict to try to drop weight fast but what usually happens is that my body will panic and I won’t lose or gain at all for about a month. Plateaus from hell if I get impatient. I tried intermittent fasting and even three day fasts and I can’t be around people because I’m so miserable, moody and sick those days. I’ve tried workout challenges and schedules and there always comes a workout day that I end up skipping because I simply loathe doing it again.

So this time around, I’m doing the slow crawl. No stupid restrictive diet, no set workout schedule, no panic bingeing or pushing my workouts to the point of pain. It means that I might not make my weight goal until the end of the year or into the next, but it also means, I won’t drop a ton then plateau for a long time repeatedly either. I do not weigh myself every day anymore either. I try to only do an official weigh in every Friday and whenever I’m just curious. Daily weigh ins were pointless and didn’t help at all. My weight will rise and drop several pounds for no apparent reason I can’t correlate. It’s probably hormonal or metabolic, who knows, but they don’t match up with how much I eat or exercise. I’m doing a lot better by just listening to my body and not turning any aspect of it into an obsession. Obsessions tend to burn me out too easily once they pass, but if I do this with too much ambition, I end up dropping every good habit because I’ve so long deprived myself of any joy in life.

I need this to be sustainable so that when I go into maintenance mode eventually, I don’t overindulge to feed the famine. I need healthy habits to be sustained so that I have the energy and motivation to meet my creative needs. This has to be the trifecta of mind, body and spirit or it will get put aside once again.

It’s never as simple as calories in and out. While that is a measure for the loss of fat, it does not factor in muscle gain, how your body stores fat (and how quickly it panics to hold onto it), your metabolism, any genetic predisposition or the possible existence of disease that may hinder weight loss or cause weight gain. Be wary of any ‘health experts’ that come with one-size-fits-all solutions or even those that can ‘tailor your diet and exercise’ based on a few simple questions. If you’ve tried quite a bit with food and exercise and are frustrated, skip the weight loss systems blowing up your social media and get a doctor to run some tests. Make sure you know where you are with blood pressure, blood work, deficiencies or disease before taking more drastic steps. You can end up wasting hundreds or thousands of dollars for little more than a placebo. If you know what your specific deficiencies are, get those medications and supplements specifically. 

It’s really tough for some of us to lose or gain weight. I’ve learned that while it’s tough for me to drop a lot of weight, that I also maintain and burn for a long while before the weight creeps back on. I did not gain a pound after I slipped back into old habits for a full six months. Unfortunately, two years later, it crept back on fast. My body is really slow to realizing a big change has occurred. While that sucks for good habits and progress, it’s on my side against bad habits. I just can’t let it slip like I did this time.

No drastic goals here. Just want to drop to 150 lbs and maintain it below 160 from there on out. I will not need to monitor as much as I am now forever. There will come a time when I’ll only weigh in every week or two and I won’t count calories as strictly. I can focus on minimum exercise needed rather than weight loss deficits. Slowly, frustratingly, but determined to do this sustainably.