Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Spreading Oneself Too Thin

One thing I’ve always contemplated was how to regard the opinion that I may be ‘spreading myself too thin’. I have no shortage of admiration for people who are able to laser focus on one thing, but that’s actually a pretty popular opinion and one we should assess more in modern times.

Certainly there is room to admire those with many focuses without being over-critical with the perception that they are taking on ‘too much.’ While I suppose it can be an issue when they never finish anything, but even if people don’t finish *most* of what they start, perhaps we should look at the success of those processes in more ways than making sure everything is done.

Some projects, even when started with the intention to have a finished product, are left undone. I’ve found this can happen when you’re trying something new and possibly very ambitious, something you’ve underestimated the sheer labor of. It’s often assumed that someone just gets ‘bored’ or ‘lazy’ but, quite frankly, that’s a lazy assumption. Every project contains a learning process, whether it is something you’re trying or you’ve done it a hundred times before. Along the way, it’s very possible that the errors are more tedious to fix than simply starting over or we’ve simply gotten what we’ve wanted from it and are otherwise inspired to apply what we’ve learned to a fresher idea. Especially in creative fields, you must marry yourself to an alien concept in most other fields; not every aspect is precious and some must be abandoned to apply your skills and attention more efficiently. But it’s also true that no labor or effort is actually ‘wasted’ and that those discarded materials and unfixable mistakes are an important part of your personal ‘résumé’ too. 

Those hundreds of hours of ‘mistakes’ and things left unfinished are the evidence of your efficiency. There’s a reason why professional artists aren’t cheap. We’ve literally taken a task that would take the average of persons hundreds of hours to do and get it done, with no lack of quality, in a matter of hours or days. Or more accurately, we’re able to get it done (and well) in exponentially quicker times. Creatives have also spent hundreds of unpaid hours earning the right to charge for that kind of delivery. While it’s easy to blow off the things that apps and filters can do for your images, it’s still incomparable to the quality done by a graphic artist. Anyone can write a book, but who actually has the patience to format, edit or market? 

Which brings me back to the point of whether we are actually spreading ourselves too thin... or if we’re simply exceeding people’s expectations for what one person can actually do. More often than not, I think people are critical about spreading focus because they themselves actually don’t succeed doing so. So in the midst of many months where you don’t seem productive, it becomes a shocking blow when you finally show the fruits of those ‘unfocused’ efforts.

It’s mostly a positive response that I get over time. People who take the time to get to know me see an ambitious and full body of work. I think it’s easier for people who don’t know how I operate to chalk those times when I’m not sharing anything as a lack or work or success, rather than a skillful process.

Indeed, modern people are more than a little spoiled when it comes to instant gratification. This can make it more difficult for artists because, while our neighbors can’t see our progress (like when we’re building a deck on the house), we’re enduring a period of vulnerability of ideas and a challenge to the great focus that project needs and we can’t reassure others or even ourselves of what progress is actually made. Even in this state of vulnerability, sometimes we have to expend energy defending ourselves against many kinds of negative criticism about our contribution and dedication. Which is also why even extroverted artists tend to shit themselves in a working solitude, to eliminate the distraction and focus their limited energy on a project.

I would never actually defend laziness either, but often it’s a false perception directed at creatives. Of course, it is ultimately destructive if they never produce finished work or never share progress at all, but that’s actually extremely rare. There is always something to admire about the discipline required, but a discipline without application or production ultimately does become a waste.

Sometimes I beat myself up about that too. For a little over a year, I kind of just... halted creativity, or more accurately, large projects. A dear friend of mine likes to remind me that I just spent three years of my life, doing nothing but living to write, edit, format, design and publish eleven hefty fantasy novels. My social life was almost nonexistent, my focus was razor sharp, my ambitious was undistracted. Now ideally, a bit of ‘burn out’ would occur AFTER I finished my second series finished (that I’ve published two out of four projected novels), but that’s just not the way a personal dream actually travels, and also why my friends often have to remind me I’ve ‘earned’ a bit of burn out.

Of course, it does make the professional in me wonder if this also makes potential clients think that this is somehow a lack of ethics I’ll sprinkle into work I do for them. The definitive answer is absolutely not. I do not tell people I will take on a job and never do it. In fact, my actual track record shows that I not only quickly tackle projects for others quickly, but they’re also often surprised that I deliver my work quickly and done well. 

In truth, sometimes my own ideas need to simmer or don’t quite challenge me enough, but I am quite easily charmed to the challenge others present me. I am not a client that will get frustrated and walk away. My ideas will always exist as long as I do. Yet there is a different pressure to perform when I’m dealing with the patience and criticism of a client. They can lose interest or patience in the stalling of my ideas in a way that my personal projects will not.

Side note: this is why I flirted with getting an agent or traditional publisher. The challenge of those eyes on my work was an appealing challenge, but ultimately I decided I simply wanted the experience of creative control. Very few aspects of commercial creativity actually give you the freedom of control and that was far more tempting than literary clout.

So... going back to ‘spreading yourself thin’... is that a concept to be admired or criticized harshly? Really, let’s stop with lazy thinking and start applying a more critical eye on generalized statements or perceptions like these. Ask questions about what they consider their failures and successes, get to know the body of work behind these multi-focused individuals, consider the vast amount of time, effort and struggle was involved to make their work look so effortless.

Perhaps remember that we don’t have to admire single-focused mastery less to show more admiration for the polymaths out there. While high IQs are sometimes squandered through lack of application, this is the exception, not the rule. It doesn’t take a great deal of time and effort to talk to someone and understand how hard they actually work.

Honestly, I kind of pity the ones that don’t bother to ask and try to hurt me with harsh assumptions. There’s a thread of jealousy in people that dismiss someone who is doing something they didn’t think possible that is truly pitiable. It’s also not worth my time or theirs to beg them to acknowledge my accomplishments. Sometimes, people are in a painful personal place where trying to hurt someone is the only way they know how to deal with what they’re going through. And I’m human too. I don’t always have the mental fortitude or patience to reach out to people in pain, so the best thing I can do is simply shrug and walk away sometimes. They’re not always in a position to accept help or advice or have their minds changed.

But that’s also a little superpower of mine. I do tend to sense strong positive and negative vibes that help me decide the risk of pressing an issue with someone. I’m all too happy to help others but I know all too well that even my own good intentions often just stir the pot.

Okay, I’m tired so it’s time to set this mess free into the blogosphere...

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