What Draws You to Story Telling?

I might have said this before, but there are certain phrases I stopped saying when I realized it was true of all creatives. "I've been drawing/writing every since I could hold a pencil." "My inspiration is Disney and anime." "I'm a flexible person/critical thinker/problem solver." "I'm highly motivated and a fast learner." You know what I mean-- the stuff that now shows up on every résumé or social media description out there. What is left when the really honest, creative, and original thoughts are old hat?

The same can be said of storytelling and there are the same platitudes whenever a new writer worries their idea has been done before. "Make an idea your own." "You have a unique voice/style." "If it's interesting enough, people won't mind the similarities." "If it works, it doesn't matter." Not that these aren't all true in parts, but I feel like a lot of those worries need a more personal approach.

First off, most worries are almost always presented in a way that is infuriatingly general. As I've gone into before, Quora questions and the initial state of an emotion tend to be a dump on impulse that needs direction to isolate. When someone asks "what if my idea has been done before?" it gets pulled in a lot of directions:

• Asking them to explain their idea
• A slew of general suggestions
• Frustration or outright trolling
• Hug-box nonsense

To name a few. Ultimately, noise, well-intentions or no. However, the more I observe the interactions, the more I wonder why no one is asking the person what makes them ask that. Are they reading a lot of books in the genre or none at all? Are they worried their fandom will make it more fanfic than original work? Are they basing it off of something and just hoping no one will notice? In order to alleviate this kind of fear, sometimes I think we need to ask the right questions and that the asker has to be comfortable with answering them so they can be directed towards a mindset that might benefit them.

Of course, no one owes a writer a story. I understand that some writers are wary of how much they are 'helping' someone write their story when sometimes it becomes clear that someone who isn't actually writing anything is actually just harvesting and picking other brains. I don't think this is the case most of the time, but rather than getting to their idea, the wary writer can instead dig into what methods that writer is using, never needing to discuss ideas at all.

Going back to the questions: what are they reading? I know there's this huge consensus that to be a better writer, you have to be a better reader. However, a great deal of doubts can arise from reading too heavily in your genre, worrying you're gleaning your ideas from these books, or of course, just have no idea what's happening in the genre at all and want to avoid writing into an unpopular or even overdone trope or cliché. Some solutions might be:

• Reading 'too much' in your genre, too much knowledge and feeling you have nothing new to add: Start reading from other genres, no matter how much you like it. One way to refresh your passion in a genre might actually be to integrate an idea from ANOTHER genre that doesn't get a lot of movement in yours.
• Reading 'too much' in your genre, afraid you're going to unconsciously borrow: This might be unavoidable, but again, if you must read, deviate from the genre and let your most recent influences steer away from the norm. You can also put down the novels and pick up short stories or writing articles, something that will help you focus on craft rather than content.
• Reading 'too little' or nothing at all in your chosen genre: The likelihood of your unique idea being not so unique might be high but uninfluenced, you can honestly plead ignorance or even just concede that a good idea is a good idea and more than one person thinking of it is proof enough. While a binge might be inspirational, sometimes that dry place is one where you'll worry less about WHERE you've read it before because you might not have at all. See what you can do with it.
• OH NO! I've seen my idea done before while searching the internet: Sigh. Don't do this. Ever. Don't go from excited about this idea you came up with to seeing if it's been done. Train yourself not to research that, train yourself not to care. Again, once you read how it's been done, it could cripple you or make you miserable by telling yourself theirs is better. A newborn idea is always generic but give yourself time to grow it, write it, edit it before you ever look for it. Where it's been done, they went through the fully-formed process and you should give your own ideas the same care. Don't see it as a waste if you can't make it work. Critical thinking and problem solving is NEVER a waste of time and you can use and refine those methods for any idea after.
• Wellll, technically it's fanfic with the names changed: Wellll, technically fans are going to call it out. As long as you don't pretend otherwise, you can also add where you deviated. Remember, plagiarism is a percentage and if you can bring enough original content to a clear inspiration, it's valid. You might want to pay an editor and possibly a lawyer to check it if you want to cover your ass against being sued though.

In tackling the source of a general fear, finding the right questions, you're helping yourself too. Develop a plan of action to see social situations as a good place to test your ability to dig into motivations. There's a bubble of safety in the manipulation of your characters, so sometimes you do have to put your theories to the test with actual people, even if it's just internet strangers. I personally don't like using public forums like Quora and social media for this, especially when any personal information is attached to the profile. I make an exception when it comes to closed groups. While large groups can sometimes be an unfiltered risk, you also might feel nervous about approaching people in smaller groups. I'd say it's okay to go anonymous or create a lite or false profile where permissible, but I'd advise against the temptation to troll because of it. In my case, I stick to closed groups. Anonymity just gives me too much temptation to deviate from the purpose of social accountability so I don't do it. When I'm looking to help or understand people, removing the diplomacy of my personal character defeats the point of appealing to someone on the same level.

Cheese and Jesus, I probably sound like a huge nerd again, but if you understood it, I've found my people and that's all that matters. What does discerning personal motivation have to do with story telling? Well, everything so I'll finish that up.

Story telling-- what draws the story teller into telling their stories or the story seekers towards them is this alignment of personal motivation. I suppose you could refine it into a marketing strategy, but let's assume a more traditional stance and just say that those alignments are not only found in ads, commercial popularity, or even word of mouth, but the connection between the writer and the reader. 

At first, it surprised me when the person behind a story I loved seemed to observe the same way I do or made the same comparison. I might have said it out loud once and been laughed at and embarrassed for it, but then a published book says it and suddenly that shutdown becomes validated because I'm not the only one. Sometimes a story can bring us courage and acceptance. And yeah, sometimes we never needed it to keep repeating it even when we're laughed at (I'm both of those people depending on mood) but it still feels good when someone says it like you or even a little better.

Sometimes walking with a writer becoming a storyteller is draw enough. As the writer publishes, either for free or daring to put a price on it, there's the validation that they are eager to stick with this, making people more confident in investing their beloved pastime with them. The hard luck story and the writer that stood in the shadows of the writing world for 10+ years is still a romantic concept for some people, even in these apathetic times. 

Some readers need the whole series to even begin so you might need to put in years and more years besides to even get someone to pick up the first one. Some storytellers don't have the patience so they filter their ideas into essays, short stories, novellas or single novels to offer a fully finished bit of their work in smaller bursts.

Story telling is about intimacy with the work, which can get uncomfortable on most sides. It takes strength in all parties to take chances. What draws most of us to trying new stories is the search for that resonance, that connection. It doesn't have to be deep or profound-- it can be horny and violent, but it's connecting regardless.

Do You Even Bracket, Bro?

One thing I provide as a public service is my ability to butcher popular slang and quotes on the regular. However, my cringe-worthy post heading has another purpose: utilizing all those little keys that aren't as worn on my silicone keyboard cover.

Not talking hot key shortcuts, function keys, the arrow keys or even the poor redundant Tab key that fell out of use when word processor formatting favored auto indents. Nope, I'm talking... *whomp whomp* brackets. I guess there's no mystery there...

It seems to be a personal mission to torment myself with making certain challenges towards communicating my ideas. UnNamed was about the concealment of names mostly (and the creative use of pronouns and descriptors in absence of names) and UnSung is no exception.

Aiden is mute. I am not. I don't pretend to know what it's like to be so this was not a book based on an issue I can relate to. However, I do know what it's like to desire to communicate or the exhaustion of that effort leading to isolation. In Aiden's case, he finds that his own efforts do not go unrewarded. He greets all of those moments of breakthrough with exuberance. He finds two unique ways to communicate with two of the women in his life, one through a language he created through music, one through a magical link.

Before I go into what this has to do with brackets, this wasn't an attempt to mask a disability with a superpower. That's not what this is, since the two people still aren't going to afford him the same sort of 'voice' that people who can speak have. Aiden still finds the limitations of these 'break-through' abilities and still endures the frustration of having to depend on someone's ability to want to understand him at all. As a point of reference, my granddad turns off his hearing aid when my grandma starts arguing with him, causing her hurt, frustration, rage and impotence with communicating-- that he can just 'turn off' when it doesn't suit him is always a one-sided solution that never benefits her. It would be like learning ASL to debate with a deaf person, then closing your eyes or looking away when you're done. It's worse than hanging up the phone on someone because you are right there still, negating someone with an advantage they can't use.

So, brackets. When Aiden uses his language, I knew I wanted to deviate from just italics. While his 'thoughts' are still italicized, italics are also easy to miss when spread out in a conversation and since he is speaking through these thoughts, it deserved something as important as a quote. Not these ( ). No, parentheses are a side note, often serving the purpose of injecting a secondary idea. Not these guys either { }. I'm never quite sure where those brackets are used but they're too busy. Quotation marks are clean and quick so I wanted Aiden's voice to have a similar simplicity. I dug these guys out from my high school days: ⎡⎦

Yes! L brackets! These remind me of the ¡! deal you get with exclamations in español. As you can tell, I know my way around the optional symbols on a keyboard. Other favorites are © ™ and … Yes, yes, you can make an ellipsis with Option + : (colon) on a Mac (because three periods are more work than two simultaneously pressed keys maybe). Here's the thing-- I also have to make sure that the choose-your-own-font capabilities of an ebook doesn't warp my precious L brackets into some OTHER bracket or worse-- the 404 equivalent of character nullification: the random wing-ding symbol. And no, I don't have that stupid rectangle's hot key combo memorized. I'm rather partial to this choice so I will conduct ridiculous amounts of research to make it happen.

I suppose it would be my designer training that makes me so enthusiastic about utilizing fonts to communicate effectively in a novel. No matter how complex my ideas are in planning, I always stand by the mission to deliver these ideas with all of those complexities combed smooth for sharing. I'm not going to be using ASCII art (although you should do yourself a favor and see how awesome this endeavor is), but I do work to be sure that my punctuation and style choices are the best choice possible.

Even if you don't use special characters outside of the basic set in the body of your writing itself, I bet that many people, from time to time still end up pulling one of these: 

--~~{@ TITLE @}~~--

You can't deny that a nice little bit of dressing for those headers isn't at least a little bit tempting. There use to be some serious excitement when you told people those look like roses. That was before the excitement of using eggplant emojis as penises. It's okay if you don't remember...

 And that's what matters most.

Thinking Outside Your Genre

As of lately, I know my mind being in my work has led largely to talking around it but I'm sure for my writer friends, this is a place where we grab the sails and ride the wind for all its transient and precious value.

However, I have to say it's the work of others that I also feel compelled to account for these moments. Once more, a very valuable relationship I have with another writer plopped a second go at reading a screenplay I'm always excited to see the evolution of and it really propelled me into my current edit with renewed buoyancy. Antonio Maccagnan-- I need you all to remember this name because his work has the sort of depth, humor, emotional depth and versatility that even this crazy world can't ignore. I find his style and enthusiasm to be really instrumental into the courage and confidence that feeds my own work.

It can be really difficult to find a truly sincere camaraderie among other writers and if I can give you more valuable advice from this, it's to look outside of your usual genre for those connections. Or in this case, it's not always a deliberate action you take. When I received a private message asking me to take a look at his work, it was through a FaceBook group that I had joined only hours before and one I hadn't yet even posted in. Perhaps because it was a personal request rather than a general post, it appealed to my curiosity. Yet another takeaway for you-- just like agents aren't fond of being a CC in an email for general queries, your best beta readers are probably going to be the ones you seek out with individual consideration.

For one, there is no immediate feeling of safety or even competition in the mix. When you're not looking for 'experts' in your genre, you're getting truly fresh eyes. They are often still adept as writers with a similar passion for story-telling but they have completely different angles and approaches that can really enhance what you bring to your genre. Rather than looking for new ideas (difficult to near-impossible), you find a new way to tackle themes that can add depth to your piece that falls well outside trend and predictability. Ideas are wonderful to have, but you're going to find your voice is lent more to how you set the stage, the play of dialogue-- all things that aren't locked in the safety of your usual genre.

When you're not looking for someone to echo your thoughts, you even find very valuable exchanges in the disagreements. I don't always feel immediately comfortable offering what I would have done differently, but when you can build that level of rapport where your opinions hold more weight, then it becomes an experience outside of technicality, editing, a true exchange of knowledge leading to insight into your work that is often overlooked by a casual observer.

That being said, I do hope to be able to do some active searching for what my friends are doing this year. If you're one of these friends that I've expressed an interest in your work then haven't said much since, it wasn't just empty flattery. I know that's a thing for some people, but I don't do it. Truly, I have been immersed in my work and my intent to seek out your work is still in my radar. Right now, it's come down to the ones that seek me out and ask my opinion on something specific. Because my focus is very singular, the ones that give me 'homework' and a clear aim are something I find time for first and foremost. Nope, you don't have to beg or get too formal with me, just hit my inbox or comments and if I can fit it in, done and done. It's always an honor when a friend finds my input valuable.

I never want to give the impression that it's easy to build those relationships and for some of us, reaching out is a paralytic thought. If you're not the active seeker then be the one who offers an open door. Gently remind people you want to hear their 'pitch' and work out what you have time for. Gathering valuable relationships isn't scything fields of wheat, it's more like panning for gold. Find peace in the process rather than developing anxiety when things just aren't panning out. Sometimes you have to let go of active searching, switching into a more passive state so you can continue developing the work you want people to look at. If you're frustrated by time spent fruitless, stagnant on a stubborn path of unmet expectations, give it a passive assignment so you can give the active time to your work.

You'll fall into old traps of unproductive states from time to time, but I hope this can serve as a reminder that you're not quitting when you change priorities. You're placing value on your progress, prioritizing the work. Don't cling to what you think should be a bestseller and ignore the potential to expand your future work now. Many writers hustle to put out work consistently for many years before they find an audience. It's not because their work isn't good or they're doing anything wrong. Many of them met up with the harsh realities of obscurity but kept building their vision. Visibility isn't all advertisements, spam posting, and waving your arms around. It's often about standing your ground, moving just enough to make sure the strongest parts are always under your feet.

Okay, sometimes it's flailing...

Like wacky waving inflatable tube man, it can be a little dizzying, but don't forget that there is no lack of direction (and redirection) to keep up the momentum of inspiration and action.

You, too, can do this! And for the low, low price of free (+labor, materials, time, and putting up with your muse), you will rock! You signed up for this so take it for all it's worth. 

On a side note...

I know some writers get discouraged that most, if not all, of your friends and family are not fans of your work. Do remember that this is very typical and is not an indication of your talent or their love/support. I'm fully aware that sometimes family isn't a guaranteed source of love and support. For years, my aspirations were largely scoffed at and I can even admit it was rightly so. I kept notebooks, sketchbooks, never really focusing on anything, never having a complete show for the discipline of what I was doing. People will think you're not serious-- until you publish a book or two or ten, until they start seeing people commenting about your work on social media. Sometimes it takes a lot of visible little victories to start recruiting some of your closest friends. Sometimes the reason for this isn't awful-- many people closest to you are hesitant to enable you to flounder on your potential. They want to see you reaching beyond their safety to reach others. 

Yes-- some of those toxic people won't ever come around, won't ever knock on your door unless you're wildly famous or are even eager to see you fail because they are afraid you'll prove them wrong. I can also tell you that these people are both very few and will also crowd your view of what is actual and what matters. Toxic people are often like ink on your windshield, keeping you from seeing the cheering fans or even the sunlight. They are not the sum of all that's out there. If someone you respect and love isn't coming around, it may be time to take inventory of what you are putting out there. I've found that most of those people aren't hard to win over. The time it takes to accomplish something big is not the correct value to place on their approval either. When you want that journey for yourself, it isn't reasonable to place all of that weight, all of that struggle as what it took to win someone. That kind of assessment will only feed the bitter, resentful troll in your own head. Rather, understand that they might have already known you had it in you but didn't want to lay the weight of that on you to add to your failure if you couldn't come through.

I know the people that didn't ride my ass, either in opposition or support, when I struggled to perform weren't cruel. They were cautious of how vulnerable that process was for me and even trusted me to find my way. I can appreciate that no one tried to hold my hand because I needed both of them to type (and even when I draw, the non-dominant hand was useful for the hotkeys on my tablet). What speaks volumes is that their silence turned into words of pride for me, buying my books and even calling me an 'author' in conversation. Or like my bestie Emily says, a 'sensei'.

All in all, your passion-people are out there and they're probably not going to be who you expect them to be. The work is what will draw them, for better or worse, so don't apologize for the time and energy you need to spend to make that happen. Let your family and friends take on their important role as is and don't expect them to take on the fan role. More often than not, they'll have the important role of helping you through the ups and downs so you're not blowing off steam everywhere else and turning people off of your work. Their impartiality can be important in reminding you that you're still valuable outside of your work, that indeed you are still a pretty amazing person regardless.

Vanity Post!

Blog posting is largely a place I can go to take a break from my stories. When you spend 8+ hours a day writing, sometimes the last thing a writer wants to write about is writing.

Vanity posting seems like a fun diversion, so why not? I've done a post on the basic of crochet and if you dig around you can find some of my side projects floating around, but I'll throw some here and talk about them a little.

 

First up, a blanket I made for my Mommom (grandmother) for Christmas a few years back. Using a series of patterns and stitches, I designed this blanket especially for her. Seemed like the proper thing to do since she was the one that taught me basic crochet when I was 16.

 Ah, the dragon neckwarmers... Advanced amigurumi (crochet sculpting) 101. 6 of the maybe 10 I've made; very popular. I've had requests to do a tutorial video on the wings and snouts since I designed the wings myself and the snouts are the hardest part of the pattern for a lot of people. I'm not a vlog kind of person, but I may do it in the future.

 Yup, that's the slime from Dragon Quest, for those that were asking. This is actually made as a hat but holds up well even when it's not on a head. Another one I designed after making a Hershey kiss hat and the shape reminded me of this so I adjusted it.

 Dresses are one of the most time consuming. Even doll dresses take 3-6 weeks if you work on them at least 8 hours a day. Hell on your hands if you don't take breaks either. This is a 100% cotton beach cover-up.

 Another popular one, the Galactic Shawl, a Red Heart pattern. Noticing the stars in a night sky shapes, I used silver and black yarn to make the shapes really stand out.

 Again, for my gamer friends, yup, it's a Moogle! I used armature wire to create the little head bauble. Didn't use a pattern, but it would be easy to duplicate. I'd do the eyes and nose a bit differently too (stuffing the nose and bringing the eyes in closer, for one).

Eh, I have a ton of doll outfits I did, but no decent pics of all of them. I'll have to do a little photo shoot and come back to it...

Thanks for being my break between the wonderful world of editing! Not that I don't love revisiting my story, but this is the part that amounts to running through it with a chainsaw so it can get the anxiety going a bit.

Not that it's not terribly fun running around with a chainsaw, but this is the place where I make sure I'm not treating my stories like they're too precious for change. I'm not sure I was ever an overprotective sort of writer (I've thrown away ridiculous amounts of my old stories without thinking twice and from what I can remember, it's for the best). Until I wrote the first book of The Truth about Heroes trilogy, there were few things that even made it to halfway finished. I did have one story I had been calling Tiger Eye that got a decent roster of characters, a hand drawn map with a few locations, and a decent beginning, but every time I got stuck I'd throw in a new character and eventually it just became a story with a chain of characters that never came up again. I might salvage it-- it's a story I started when I was 15 so it would need a total makeover, but I still have the sketches in a green binder. I don't know if I'll be inspired to go back to it, but I left it as a possibility. Castles in the Sand, Purple Moon, and The Curse of Amanita were comics that filled a notebook or two; my friend Liz and I also did one called the Legend of Nibichi that I still have just the script for, but not the comic. I have Son of a Devil, but that one is probably the most recent too. Still remember them well, but they were among the many that were lost to time. If I had a time machine, I'd go back and save all of my drawing notebooks from thieves and forgetfulness.

So much for not talking about writing, but there are few things more tempting than going back to what you love even when it frustrates you. Or maybe especially when it frustrates you, because the tug-of-war is sometimes the right kind of drama for the task. It still stings a little that I lost so much of the work I did in the past, not because I would publish them even if I had them, but I wouldn't mind redrawing and reworking them from more than my spotty memory. It still might be fun to go back to a lot of them, but I'm almost moving forward with new ideas and that feels better than nostalgia right now. The ideas just keep coming and I'm going to keep encouraging myself in that direction.

Update! And Some Thoughts

While I've gotten into the habit of spreading out posts that don't have updates with the scheduling option (rather than spamming my followers with those three-post days), this one will scrape over my current moods and work for a change.

First off, the hard facts/goals of the week:

*UnSung Part 1 draft edit complete: was re-edited to reflect some ideas I came up with in Part 2.

*UnSung Part 2 first edit in progress: hoping to complete this within a few days but that may extend.

*UnOfficial Mascot drawing: I don't normally do the mascot thing, but I have a rather precocious animal character that would be awesome to draw.

*Screenplay edit: I don't disclose details on these, but needless to say, I love reading Antonio's work and it will be a pleasure to comb through another.

*Sleep (optional): whenever the excitement leads to unconsciousness

I've truly been enjoying the whole process of editing for UnSung this time around and that's not something I say often. The first book of the series was a departure from the long-running first series I did, so it was daunting to start again and I wrestled with UnNamed a lot before I started to really feel this world out. The second book became absolutely massive in my head, something that grew when I was devoting my time to making the covers for the first series. Drafting it was both exciting and terrifying because I had to peel through a lot of notes, a lot of plots, to make it a smooth read, each plot feeding into another without confusing myself or a potential reader.

When re-reading it, I was actually sliding through it with little difficulty. I knew there would be a couple of ideas that changed because of Part 2's plots, some conversations to refine and, of course, to make sure what the characters knew stayed consistent with their approach and attitude. Like I did with my first series, I'm working on a character profile post for UnNamed and UnSung. I didn't keep a ton of character notes this time around because I didn't strictly control the readers' impressions of them so things like hair and eye color weren't always clear. I became aware of (as my Quora rebuttal post went into) a tendency to dictate too much about a character as if you were seeing them in a game or movie. 

While it didn't ruin the stories the way I approached this, I did challenge myself to remove the 'romance novel' approach to describing a character head to toe. I've seen enough people in writing groups laboring to describe ombre hairstyles and a character's eye color to know that this can absolutely go from general description to tedious word masturbation best left to creative writing exercises, not novels. It's generally not a good idea to go out of your way to fixate on looks unless you want the reader to be distracted by them or they have some REAL relevance to the story. It's one thing if you want to drop that a mermaid has ombre-violet hair, but describing the cut and curl could be put off until she's twirling a lock of it later if at all. If, and I emphasize IF, it becomes an important detail later, then you can edit it in, but I'd still caution anyone as to where that introduction sits. I find it more fun to read (and write!) when the looks are a subtle tell that don't zip right to how easy it is to describe a gorgeous or repulsive person. When I force myself not to make a subjective judgement, to let the environment react to them (or ack! don't have them describe themselves in a mirror) then I'm offering the bias to the reader, giving them just enough freedom to decide but taking on the burden of pace, storytelling, world building. Give a reader too much homework and you might as well hand them a book of Mad Libs.

Then again, even when a character is beautiful or repulsive in my mind, I still want the emphasis to be on their characters, actions, and emotions. The most alluring or sexy characters, to me, are the ones that don't have to beat you over the face with it. I'm more likely to create fantasies about characters that make me laugh or think, not remind me of their physical features.

So, a little bit to roll around there, but I'm due for a nap. On the personal side of life, we have a lot of mangos in the refrigerator. This is what happens when I tell my dad the boys love mangos. They, however, are completely thrilled about mango smoothies for breakfast every morning. And yes, my excitement for my work is rubbing off on them and they love sharing their ideas with me. The younger nephew, Marcus, started reading my work over my shoulder while editing one day. A kid-friendly part, but not one I thought he'd get into. I read some more of it out loud to him and when I finished the scene, he surprised me by saying he'd love to read more. 

Unfortunately, it's just not kid-friendly, so it's really making me think I want to work on my YA book so my nephews and my friends' kids can read my work. It's an idea I'm no less passionate about (based on dreams I've had since I was a teenager), I just didn't realized UnNamed would grow beyond a single novel until I was nearing the end of the draft and organized a grand plan. When I say I want to write for kids, I don't mean in a cop-out fashion either. Some aspects of human intimacy, violence and life in general are still approachable and I don't think you dumb it down just because you write for a younger audience. I do tend to soften the language and cut out the graphic nature a bit, but the dreams I had were between two best friends who travel the world and beyond, into these surreal pockets that don't need darkness, grit, or 'realism.' The challenge of writing for pre-adults is to trust their imagination more because the insights and depths that adults tend to enjoy just don't interest some of the younger ones.

Interview Yourself

This isn't one of those 'pretend you're famous' preparation interviews. When my sister and I were kids, finding a tape recorder and a microphone was a good way to kill time. We'd do interviews, pretending we were Oprah or Michael Jackson or Aretha Franklin (which I'm now seeing a hilarious pattern of no white people on the list-- who needs inclusion?). This isn't what I mean. I've gone into developing characters through character interviews, but this is also not quite what I mean either. What interviews DO have in common here is a deeper understanding of the subject. Often, despite having all this luxury in our head space, are myopic if not completely blind when it comes to the ideas, styles, voice we drawn on.  Sometimes it takes many stories or books to notice a pattern in what we are drawn to.

I'm going to start with a list of questions to myself, answer them, then give you a way to alter them to make them fit your own style. A game, if you will-- one you can't really lose. Or as Oprah might say, you get a win, you get a win, everybody gets a win!

1) Why do you write in third person perspective?

2) Why do you lean towards dark fantasy?

3) Why do you use humor in your stories?

4) What's with all of the imperfection of Gods themes?

5) How you decide scene order?

6) What inspires you to write?

7) Why fantasy?

1) Why do you write in third person perspective? (Why do you write in your preferred perspective?)

• In my blogs, in my messages, first person is everywhere. The first draw of 3rd person is, apart from dialogue, the ability to empathize with someone else for a change. There's this claim that 3rd person is not as intimate as 1st but I strongly disagree. I believe that first builds only the empathetic experience of that one character, showing clear favor for their impressions. To me, depth is found in spreading out that intimacy with each character. I don't mean head-hopping around so much as creating distinction. In third person, the characters are blue, green, and red, for example. Even if you switch who is in first, the reader is still reading, I, I and I. Oddly enough, some readers are actually able to create a bond without the forced empathy of being limited to that headspace. Third person can still favor the voice or preference of a certain character, but when you want to utilize a larger cast of characters, first person may actually water down any attempt to cast a wider net, to create depth for many characters. Without seeming as if I'm vilifying first person, it can certainly be done with great skill, especially when the character is a mystery to themselves. I even did a short story in first so that the woman telling the story could recount a time in her life she deeply regrets. However, my preference for third person also allows me to direct a larger cast, the omniscient narration allowing the reader to decide which perspectives they want to empathize with.
• BONUS QUESTION: What sort of stories might make you tell it from another perspective than what you prefer?

2) Why do you lean towards dark fantasy? (Why do you lean towards the current genre you're in?)

•  Few of my stories ever start out in a dark place. Most of them start in the superficial sunny places where you usually meet the strangers that sometimes become your best friends. I don't write grimdark stories with the intent to keep people locked in depression or gore or the worst of humanity, but for me, finding the bright spots in life is often about making terrible mistakes, trials of morality, but owning them. I'm not a fan of 'realism' where the ending leaves you empty and unfulfilled. It's so overdone that I'm almost numb to that approach. Even if the story was amazing, a bad ending will almost guarantee I'll never bring it up to anyone. I want a story, if not to feel good, to leave you with the feeling that the world, the remaining characters, are still making the best of it. Yes, some areas are rather dark and grim in my current stories, but just like a room without shadows is visually flat, a fantasy too bright and optimistic falls flat. I'm not looking to really escape my life in a book, nor be included, but I like when a book can make me whisper 'someone gets me'. Some of us don't find comfort in the bright and shiny, can't even trust it's not hiding something even darker. Fantasy is still a sort of escape, but I can forget my troubles reading a manual for a toaster too. I don't find it edgy or gritty to throw in a bad ending. I'm not looking for the happily ever after, but the dark and grim trends are not what I'm after. I stop caring about the characters when I suspect they're just going to die anyway. So while I lean towards dark plots, I see it as a familiarity to overcome, not to expect.
• BONUS QUESTION: What other genres might fit your curiosity?

3) Why do you use humor in your stories? (If not humor, another distinct distraction.)

•  Humor. Sometimes universal, sometimes wildly inappropriate, we all laugh for different reasons. Have you ever been bombing at being interesting in a serious conversation, pulled the stick out of your ass, threw caution to the wind, and just hit someone with humor? Humor is a risk. From an inside joke to a crowd pleaser, you often have no clue if it will hit the spot or fall flat. For me, humor is always worth the risk. Sometimes I want it to be a little shocking or inappropriate, mood-killing or distracting. Just like the difference between a good magician and a bad one can be in the timing and the skill, comedy's ability to misdirect and create unpredictability is alluring. I believe it not only creates an instant reaction, but leaves a moment of vulnerability, either in the reader or the writer that brings you closer to the story. And yes, might completely put some people off of it. Humor is what I call my fool-proof friend finder. Never be friends with anyone who can't laugh at your jokes. They get it or they don't and that's that. It's the most honest way to find your audience.
• BONUS QUESTION: What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one... with everything!

4) What's with all of the imperfection of Gods themes? (What theme do you keep revisiting?)

•  Religion was a struggle. Despite an upbringing that never enforced it, a friend in elementary school introduced me to it and I struggled with the questions of logic. I get why people gravitate towards it. Enhancing the meaning of life sometimes means reaching well beyond it, but I didn't find the comfort in it that some do. I didn't find answers or logic or direction or purpose. It wasn't the current theologies that interested me the most when I started looking for why humans created so many stories to explain the unknown. It was the defunct mythologies tapping on polytheism that fascinated me the most. The separation of Gods into elements, emotions and even desires became a deep excursion into modern concepts of psychology and understanding the human brain. Janus, the picture of comedy and tragedy, bipolar, a face towards the past and the future. Aphrodite was not simply the goddess of love and beauty, but the arbiter of lust, envy, why men started wars over women. The gods, simple in name, delved into much deeper facets of human decision, trends, not only meddling in human affairs with the same level of pettiness and fallibility, but as fascinated and drawn to humankind as humans were to them. Gods were manifestations of our best and worst attributes and there is a resonance to the idea that gods might have been created simply to satisfy the human ego, that any being having more power than the rest of us might fancy themselves a god. Just as some people find comfort in religion, I find something comforting in imagining more than I will ever know, learning more but never completely understanding others or even myself. But it's gonna be one hell of a ride for as long as it lasts.
• BONUS QUESTIONS: What themes linger undone in your writing just yet? Are they parallel or completely different?

5) How you decide scene order? (This probably goes for every writer without rewording.)

•  I ask myself this because it's an extremely difficult one that I constantly ask myself again. Is it organic or planned? Yes. The 'or' is a lie. Depending on the complexity of a story, it may need a great deal of foreshadowing, flashbacks, perspective memories, main characters, coffee, and tissues to cry into (not because of emotional scenes, but just sheer frustration when I bite off more than I can chew). The simpler answer is the story decides. The characters are tools to that end and I may need pieces of their life, experiences or skillset to push forward the answers leading to the main plot. I often start out with one, maybe two characters these days, but they are not always the main characters. It's a fine line I walk since some readers expect a sort of naive insta-bond. Don't know if you've played games like Dragon Age, but I rarely regarded the character I controlled so much as the stories of the characters around me, sometimes bonding with 'side characters' more than my own or even the selected love interest. The writer cannot control how the reader feels about a character, making it necessary to build up even side characters with compelling lives, even if their part is always on the edges. Scene order is mostly decided by how it adds dimension to the story. If you're going to be flat with sides, it better be funny...
• BONUS: 8 Bit Theater. You're welcome.

He's a really nice guy though.

6) What inspires you to write? (Again, no general rewording needed.)

• Introspection. Blogs are mostly in first person, but I have this deep fascination with understanding what people might think of themselves. Fantasy is a place where I can create any number of unknowns to explore, but I find the idea of character growth through struggle appealing regardless of genre. I need a place for my ideas to go because having them isn't enough. I want to teach and entertain. I want to find not just an audience, but maybe even some like minds. I want to grow as a storyteller. I want stories to enhance my creative spirit, my drawing/art, my inner landscape. It's probably easier to ask what doesn't inspire me to write since being uncomfortable or even repulsed doesn't stop my curiosity (although I have hard limits like most people).
• BONUS QUESTION: Okay, so what DOESN'T inspire you?

7) Why fantasy? (Why write in your current genre of choice?)

• The simplest answer is curiosity. Even when I feel I have something to teach, I'm also reaching out to see if someone can catch where it isn't airtight. Fantasy is a vast playground so it's hardly a place where I see any limits in sight. It tells you nothing about the mood, the expectation, the discovery. Murder mystery comes with a certain expectation there, but fantasy can be anything from a light-hearted romance involving mythical races or a bloody battle between two brothers. It can be the traditional fairies, elves, dwarves, trolls, ogres, unicorns, gods, kingdoms, dragons, etc. or it can be a human assaulted by what amounts to nothing more than supernatural harassment, delusions and hallucinations. Ghosts, vampire, werewolves, knights, mermaids, sirens, golems... You get the picture. It can be any number of beloved tropes or a completely deviant concept, set in our world or another entirely. Steampunk, urban, high, low, dark, romance, erotica... the subgenres themselves are staggering. Is it limiting to be a fantasy writer? You're only really as restricted as your expectations. Fantasy is truly a genre for everyone if you care to navigate it.
• BONUS QUESTION: What is your least favorite genre and why don't you try it anyway?

Point is, interview yourself. Every so often, treat your own headspace as a place just as fascinating as the characters that tumble out of it. Humble yourself to your circumstances and experiences, your reasons for pursuing it. I know I didn't answer some of the bonus questions, but I meant for those to be your chance to look into your answers a little farther.  I talk plenty about myself, but I guess I could try to answer them if pressed. For now, call it me being extra. I do that...

Think about your answers, see what it can do for your perspective. Keep writing!

Closing up a First Draft

Reaching that point on my current WIP, it seems like a good time to get a closer look. I mean, it's not like this isn't the 11th time I'm doing it, but quantity never makes it easier. Don't worry-- I also broke all the rules without intentionally rebelling against common sense.

There are stories that don't need planning, that just need you to sit your ass down and write, no going back to check on something you may have contradicted because that's what the first edit is for. Relax, enjoy the ride... If I ever thought this would be the time for my stories to do that, I was WRONG, SON! This story was all up in your everything and you got played!

Eh, no biggie if you have to change tact. I think the idea of that can cause block for some people, that they have to stop and change plans, that somehow it's a setback. Nah. I can tell you now that there is nothing better for time than stopping before you just keep kicking loose dirt over a hole and twist your ankle walking over it later. Let's say that you are afraid your muse will wander off while you get to organizing. I mean, it's not impossible, but there's nothing about an organizing process that says you can still touch base with the creative. In fact, while organizing, you're probably going to see immediate ways to fill in some boring spots or cut them in favor of something better. You may want to stop organizing to throw together that scene or prefer to stick to organizing and just jot whatever notes will remind you to tackle it later.

UnNamed was completely drafted in less than two months. UnNamed also didn't break 90K words. UnSung, as it is right now, is between 150K-160K. I know it seems the opposite of what you hear from most writers, but I feel like drafting might bump that up. While some scenes might get deleted if they don't have enough weight, it is more likely there are some scenes where I just got the gist down so I could play it up later. In truth, UnSung is going to be closer to two or three books in comparison, but I also couldn't break it up like that and keep the series format intact. Each book follows a particular set of characters in a certain part of the world and all of these keep to the characters here. 

Why is this one so big? Well, it was the side plots leading into the main plot. Each Part does close up a major plot like a regular novel but it doesn't resolve enough with the larger mysteries behind it. I've mentioned before that there are interweaving scenes, something I find I do consistently in fantasy. Sometimes even the transition to completely different characters is interwoven with the theme of the scene before. This is why the draft phase wasn't one I could brush off as something to come back to later. I believe I did a post concerning exactly how I outline the interweaving plots and scenes (To Plot or Not to Plot... Maybe Just to Plod) but this also helps you see which plot lines might be too far apart, either risking being forgotten or a constant annoyance to the reader that favors that plot and finds the rest distracting until it comes up again.

I know that it also delves into which format you use. I'll never end up doing a post dedicated to 'chapter requirements' for many reasons. The one well-researched page going into topics such as what size chapters should be or how they should be labelled, according to which book sell best-- yeah, it was still far from enlightening. Even though the actual numbers were all over the map and in no particular genre, there was absolutely no 'perfect length' or amount of chapters. The general consensus is still 'the chapter or scene ends when it finishes its story.' I am personally someone who rarely has the time or patience to marathon a book so I rather like the simple courtesy of just double spacing between new scenes, a good enough stopping point for me if I need it. And scene length? While most hang around the 2-3K range in my current MS, there are some as low as 400 words, some nearing 6K (a pivotal series of scenes that actually have a couple paragraph breaks-- I broke my usual scene format to block this together). I will not ever be looking to beef up the short scenes or reduce the longer ones just to unify length. The idea that a book would become confusing when someone notices one chapter is 1K words shorter than the last is absurd.

First draft completion, though; it's a pretty critical stage for any number of reasons. For the people who do love flying through the first draft without looking back, they wonder what nightmare awaits their more critical eye when they return to it. You know your mood or energy or drive may not be anywhere near as euphoric or focused as it had been when you were stumbling through it, exploring it anew. You've already been here-- but remember, you probably missed a path or two that reveals itself on the begrudging edit that will give you more places to explore after all. For new writers especially, you might have always only been the sort to read a book once, but realize that's probably (absolutely) not the way you want to set it free into the world. I try to say that I do at least three drafts and two edits, even though it's more like five draft-edit freak shows. Rather than a lack of discipline or patience, I don't leave things to chance that I'll remember to fix it later. That's okay too, but if you find yourself freezing up at certain stages then maybe...

Maybe you need to stop looking at them as places to begin and end. Even within in a story, sometimes we feel like it's okay to stop when capping a scene. Done, finished, feels good. Then when we come back, sometimes we give ourselves the dreaded 'beginning' to start from. Another thing I've brought up repeatedly, but at the end of a draft, I immediately jump into editing, even if it's just a few hundred words or a single scene. I don't want the burden of starting a new process when I'm not warmed up to it yet. Maybe you CAN get that to work to your advantage though. Whenever I've stuck myself there, I wander over to my blog and muse a bit, maybe poke at a drawing project. The fact of the matter is, the days when I am up to starting something new are very few. When I find that motivation, I'll almost always hit my new ideas list and get a bunch of things going that I've been hedging on. Sometimes those build up and I'll delegate that time to finishing things. I did go through a phase where starting new things was about all I did. Never finished anything. I was really wasting my potential and it felt cowardly, to always say I had nothing to show because I couldn't let anyone see until it was finished. People rightfully began to doubt if I was doing anything at all. Now that I've become a finisher, it blows people's minds just all I had going on over the years.

We're going to hit points in drafting where structure or creativity just seems too far off balance, that you've been fixating on always being confident or not confident enough or your processes just aren't working for you. Some people have to really alter themselves. Might've been Hemingway (I always get lazier towards the end of a blog) that said that 'write drunk, edit sober' deal. There is actually nothing less useful than writing under the influence of anything for me. I am not one of the ones that becomes brilliant when fucked up. However, it still carries the same overall practice of tackling tasks in both ideal states and less than ideal ones. Each step should involve looking at your work when you love it and hate it and to be largely suspicious of your work if you're not feeling both. If you can't, then you are ineffective to your work and need to find readers that can be the voice you're not finding within. 

Can't tell you how many times people will say how humbled they are by great comments on their work then I'll go to read it and be appalled by how inaccurate their hug-box is. However, you'll also notice that constructive writers will avoid a needy writer that they know can't handle the truth. I, for one, often skip commenting when the writer is young enough to still be surrounded by those Stepford Wives friends that kind of cluster around like super fans and, ironically, troll all the 'mean people.' I know they're all going to hit some hard times ahead and, honestly, I'm not out to be the first. Why risk misdirection in my writing career by somehow becoming the target of some viral hate group of 20 year olds? When Jehovah's Witnesses come to my house with their kids, I'm also just not the type to enjoy introducing my atheism to indoctrinated 8 year olds. I came to my beliefs on my own and that was plenty hard enough. The thing is, people will be open to change or they won't and your talents or passions will pay the price of however long it takes to get there.

I like to help people but no one likes unsolicited advice and you do start to spot the humble brags and compliment fishermen and pay them no mind. Even your breaks from drafting or editing can be resourceful times where you seek out sincerity and challenge, something to encourage you to breech a starting point. Give everything a go, note what seems to work under what conditions. It's not going to be a list of tips that becomes more valuable to you but developing your own combinations through practice. Sometimes even I keep poring through blogs to see if there might be some new approach or some twist on an old one, but the reasons they work and the minute details tend to be unique.

Guess I better get my own things going. There's some anxiety in taming this monster, but excitement is a lot like anxiety and they're fighting on the edges of what must be done. First draft finished, PHEW! Still have to edit this monster so I can close up their story in Part 3 and introduce the new characters for Book 3 in the Epilogue. I've decided I like throwing a lead-in at the end of each book. It's like rolling out the red carpet.

Keep your own works going! Cherish your writing streaks, forgive your dry spells, every little bit gets you there. I know my first series is rolling out at lightning speed, but I spent maybe 15 years crawling through those books-- unsatisfying retail jobs, the turbulence of my personal life, health issues. I never imagined I'd get a single book done and then it just grew and grew, bit by bit. I avoided certain paralyzing mentalities-- comparing my work to bestsellers, mainstream opinion, marketing, literary elitism, that patronizing look people give you when you say you're writing a book. I'll grow and so will my stories. I enjoy fantasy for now but not all of my stories fit it so neatly and that's okay. I can write sappy romance and crime thrillers because they're my stories to tell. You don't have to tie yourself to how fast other people are writing, word counts, genre darlings (no, you don't have to be JRRT or GRRM-- you can have three initials, spell out your whole name and have zero elves or dragons in your fantasy). Don't damn your story to failure. Pioneers don't take the beaten path so mind your own steps and get there your way.

And as I've been saying since the 90s...

Love, peace, and chicken grease!

Cover Reveal + Wow, That's a Lot of Layers...

We're coming up on the eighth book here and this one was pretty involving, hence the title heading. I showed a screenshot of this one some time ago, showing off the sheer number of background layers and each character got its own lengthy folder of layers as well. Each Endless Universe: Dual Decisions is coming up on June 29th so here's a taste of the art.

Without further ado...

For this one, I'm just going to give you the mannequins...

And a full spatial shot... But then I'm going to tour you through the detailed close-ups.

Damn, I loved doing this one. The intricacy here is in the line work since the color was very uniform. Korus is one of those characters that I threw in on a lark and ended up becoming a really interesting part of the story. He's an enigmatic character, both cold and caring, but very subtle. He's not in-your-face bad-ass, but I'll leave it at that. 

Sigh. Kerys, Kerys, Kerys... She's one of those characters I didn't intend to like either. She's a psychopath, through and through, whiny and entitled and the sort to go looking for trouble. However, because of that, she breaks social rules that make her interactions more interesting.

Okay, Harlok is one I intended to like, but also want to pile drive into a steel chair. The Kitfolk are all a bit hard to place, and Harlok and his brother Merik are flighty but undeniably clever and calculating. I don't think there's any character that I didn't like writing about (although there are some that certainly irritated me), but Harlok was one that I made it a point to utilize.

A closer look at Kerys and Harlok. You'll notice there's some care for detail on Kerys's necklace and corset. She's got some of the most luscious full lips I've ever done, but I imagine that watching her talk is probably her only saving grace when you have to tolerate what she says.

Couldn't leave Korus on his own, so Kerys gets to photobomb.

Eh, why not throw in the three of them. They make for an interesting trio. Even in a fantasy setting, they don't look like they have a damn thing in common other than being unreasonably gorgeous with white hair.

Time to appreciate some close-ups...

(There you go, Joe; extra big codpieces, just for you...)

I love these extra long pointed shoes...

Apparently, I like shoes... Sorry, Kerys; as much as I love sneakers, apparently it wasn't enough...

Moving to head shots... Even though I realize Harlok got left out of the top half shots when I fixated on shoes...

Damn, but I love her lips... *smooooooch*

I went subtle on Korus's side profile though. Part of his persona is discretion, concepts kind of lost on Harlok and Kerys.

And there we go. Do you enjoy the different approaches I throw in for each one? For the next one, I'm going in for the real close-up. It's a single shot of one intimidating character. Can't wait to start snapping while I work on that one. I really want to get down and dirty with the details...

This time, I'll link my website which can direct you to my many hubs. Official Krista Gossett Author Website Again, if you want to get a nice juicy wall print or even a postcard, let me know and I'll set it up for you on DeviantArt. It takes a lot of time to set up my current outlets so I'll leave that off unless someone expresses the desire for it. If you'd prefer I set it up on some other outlet, by all means, suggest it. I don't mind doing the extra work to make it more convenient for you. 

Thanks for hitching along with me!

Finding Beyoncé: The Aquatic Inspiration

That heading sounds like a weird inside joke, but I'll let you in on it. I may have mentioned before but I raise African cichlids. My current tank has one electric yellow, 5 pink zebras, 6 blue zebras, 5 orange-black peacocks, and a plecostomus (not a cichlid-- the algae eater that cleans up after them, but he's twice the size of the biggest cichlid and not at all shy). Well, that was the count anyway. I saw one little fry (baby) cichlid while cleaning this morning. Just one. Cichlids do eat the young and it keeps my tank from becoming overcrowded, so it may be the only one. If it survives, I'm naming it Beyoncé. Most of my fish have no names. The algae eater is Hoover, the yellow one is Sparky (Buttercorn Zapdos-- but I made the mistake of letting the boys name it), the big pink male PinkiePie, Naranja (he's a pink, but he's more orange than pinkie), and the newest to be named is Bowser, one of the OB peacocks and only because he attacks my gravel vacuum every time I clean. They get names when I recognize them all up in my face.

Names... I've probably said this before but they are not my friend. Not because I don't think of good ones-- that part isn't hard. I am just not someone who either remembers them easily or even uses them unless I can't get your attention. Even though I like my name, I hate introducing myself because I almost always have to repeat it twice when people ask 'Kristen/Crystal/Kristy/Christine?'. Most of my stories never use a second/surname let alone more. UnNamed was actually written to make fun of myself for the nicknames I give people and characters if I can't remember their names. I don't ever give someone the same first name or even another similar to it, so there's no issue with distinctions. Most books make a big deal of the full name, only to rarely use it again. I think GRRM gave Daenerys so many titles just to make fun of that tendency in fantasy. There's no way he did that without laughing.

There's a point somewhere. Oh yeah, inspiration. My named fish often get the privilege of a name because of a distinct personality. I've had plenty of people tell me I should do short comics about them just based on the way I describe their antics. They have already inspired character arcs in more than one story so I guess you can say they're even helpful against writer's block to some extent. I definitely consider short comics, but I really ought to focus on the webcomic too, not just find a way to avoid that.

Ideas can be fleeting like that-- another reason not to put so much importance on just having ideas. Plenty of people have them. Where you utilize them is the trickiest part. Most writers keep notebooks or emails or digital notes or post-it's-- any number of the bits of noise that may culminate into a full project someday. I have a lot of maybe projects, but I usually resist telling anyone about them because I put undue pressure on myself when it gets brought up again and it was never even started. I stick to anything I'm actually working on and don't throw in the maybes as much as possible. Ha, even though I do like to blog some maybes here and there... Have you ever made lists just to try to warm up to the idea of something on it? Yeah, that happens too...

Anyways, fishspiration... When I'm making up my own words, it's probably best I leave it at that. Writers often have pets, desk clutter-- many things that they use to combat writer's block, entertain the muse and inspire them. What are yours?

Manspread All Up In That Story

One thing I've always felt strongly about is this: if it's good for the goose, it's good for the gander. In no particular order. I'm a proponent of equality in that I don't think that any perceived oppression somehow means that one side receives the okay to a privilege at the loss of someone else. If there aren't enough toys for the whole class, no one gets to play. The idea that X amount of resources get rotated in time allotments always means someone is happy at another's expense. A good solution is one that works for everyone. You only need one kickball to get everyone in the game.

Writing groups can fester with us vs. them debates and what men are allowed to write about women's bodies is often nitpicked, completely ignoring the entire domination of the romance and man-meat genre by women. Not even a new genre, making a mark before self-publishing could make it explode with popularity.

I get inside the heads of all my characters, keeping in mind both the prevalence of gendered psychology and individual variety. Men can be poetic and reserved, even in their heads, where women can be aggressive and fixated on looks-- there's no dominion here but there's also a reason why those aren't the norm. Men are more prevalently visual in their affections, with a woman's curves, a thing the average man lacks, a point of attraction and mystique. This doesn't put women at a disadvantage in their norm; ladies, our bodies are built with more emotional and physical receptors, making us creatures of touch. While on average, it's easier for a man to have visual priorities satisfied, women who warm up to their desires are introduced to a lengthier and more lasting fulfillment.

Women and men can both experience physical attractions and casual satisfaction. They can both be sexual predators, taking what they feel like they deserve. Physically a man can easily overpower a woman, but women can use manipulation of a man's virility and expectation to perform to coerce their wants. It's a deeper subject than I will be able to give justice to here, but the possibilities do require some thought before assumptions are thrown around.

Where does man-spreading come in? Often, in the heads of men I write, they are engaging in the dreaded male gaze, the pure physical enjoyment of a woman, whether they entertain courtship or something more temporary. I realize the reader on first impression may jump to fast assumptions: he's a pig, he's shallow, he's typical. However, if all it ever amounted to was a first impression, I'm a poor writer. With first impressions, it is often about core traits, something either formed by society's expectations of them or even something that embarrasses them and are glad it's safely in their heads-- at least unless it tumbles out, then it's another issue for the telling.

Well, women are not exempt, as I've said before. Their thought processes and experience are sometimes different beasts as well and on the other side of the coin, they may blurt out their empowered come-on proudly as well. And there's something that bothers me about the modern attitudes that frame that wording too. Is it really an empowered come-on or is she just a pig too? My fantasy worlds may not carry any of our standards, so what remains is to give you the weight of it in the cues of reactions and internal dialogue. You could launch into a preachy monologue about 'society's weight means this and that to men and women.' Wait, maybe not. Boring, boring, boring and you just abandoned your fantasy into the realm of non-fiction. 

What remains is finding the lead without dragging the reader by their nostrils. It's possible that their aggression is still frowned upon, but it's also possible they don't care and are prepared to brush off anything that stands to shame them. Without any more details, you don't know the weight their gender places nor can you clearly say they are looking for consent or predatory. They might not even know the lines, a conflict of self-perception or a lack of a measure to compare their actions. However, give it a gender and the reader is more prepared to impose their own experiences first, at least until the writer can shed some light on the way the character works.

This is why I encourage writers to focus on the character, not about the sensitivity of potential readers. When you are focusing your craft at the mastery of your story, I trust that most writers are addressing how to present the conditions with deeper thought than I've grazed over here. Most of us are not fond of the things our protags/antags do to maneuver through, but if everything is fade to black, it looks lazy, generic and scared of itself without letting the reader in on why. Sometimes your fear is preempting the point before it even gets made. It happens too often that a writer asks if an idea is okay before it's even written. The thing is, your description shows nothing of the effort it takes to accurately decide if it works or not. What if I rewrote Harry Potter with a female lead? I don't know-- are you writing it as Hermione, Harriet Potter or Voldemorticia? Without the actual act of using your voice and storytelling ability, it's a two cent idea.

Whatever you do to tell your story, it must be written first. Don't be afraid to write women as a male. You will have opportunities to find out what is working for people as you go. As a woman, I don't try to make a man 'me plus a penis.' I don't know what men face, I don't assume they can operate with my advantages or disadvantages. I don't discount that they can be sensitive but I'm not going to force it either.

When I say I manspread over a story, it's tongue in cheek. Just like I can enjoy a nice female ass, they can too. I've got big old writing balls that I can't bear to crush between crossed legs.

As always, I may not have covered all of the bases, but UnSung is getting damned good and the bulk of my brainpower goes there first and foremost. Argue it or take it in stride, but as always, I strive to let people know that trends bloom and die-- give your story a limited forum at your own risk. Own it, grow it, release it.

"I Can't Be Friends with a Bigot"

One of the woes of the information age is that, more often than not, we are more likely to witness the oversharing and impulsive thought diarrhea of even the most quiet and thoughtful people (present company not excluded). Every once in a while on my social media feed, I'll see the proud announcement to the effect of "I deleted people because this happens and these people I've known for years showed their true colors."

Back up for a second. What was the offending moment? A tasteless meme? Two vague sentences? Over time, I don't know about you, but I've started to brush these things off. I have a ton of friends on either side of the fence and both liberals and conservatives can jump on the train of tasteless, parroted opinions with no explanation as to what resonates with them or why they posted it, but if I know them for any length of time, there are other things to consider here: are they blurting that shit out and getting us in trouble with people in public or is this just internet noise?

I'll start to avoid friends or ditch them altogether if they are the kind of moron to say the n-word around strangers. If they do it when it's just and me and them, I speak the fuck up and tell them, however they feel about (or however they choose to use it), either stop doing it or stay away from me. The thing is, most people my age have learned what things can and can't be said to have a normal friendship. Even a scatterbrained cunt like me can remember which friends I can vent which ideas with. There are some friends where religion and politics are completely off-limits. Short of the revelation that someone is in a hate group or actively harming other human beings outside of feels, simply having an opinion I don't like is not going to terminate a friendship.

I know it's not popular for white people to notice color, but there are some older black men in my neighbor that clearly don't like white people. I hate to tell you this, but it's harmless and it doesn't stop me from waving hi to them every time. Not all racism is practiced hatred, just a strong unchallenged opinion. The worst thing you can do with a bigot is leave them to the ignorance of their opinions. These people don't need an echo chamber to say 'all x people are like this.' It might take a while, but sometimes you have to plant the seed to help someone consider extremities of thought might have exceptions. He doesn't need to know everything about me, or like everything about me, I can just be the white girl that waves to everyone. He can think I'm stupid or naive and it doesn't hurt my feelings.

I. Do not. Invest. In the opinions (or attitudes). Of anyone. But myself. There is no 'guilt by association' because I can and will speak up for myself and, as an adult, I've had no trouble doing so. I also make it a point to pick my battles, so sometimes when I stay silent, I've decided it's simply not worth it. People don't win arguments like they think they do. Unless the information presented is able to change someone's mind what THEY consider the better for them, you're just yelling into a pillow.

I know that sometimes my blog may turn someone off of their opinion of me. Despite all attempts at being both diplomatic and honest (it can be done), the reader will probably have some unavoidable hang-ups. The fear of being disliked should never silence you, should never prevent you from introspection and interaction. If there's one thing you should gather about me is that I'm both a tireless know-it-all yet still flexible of thought. My opinions are sometimes similarly unchallenged, no matter how much I endeavor to be sure that facts support them. Because I am imperfect, I also accept that people will challenge my comfort levels and knowledge.

Sounds crazy, I know, but you can be friends with a bigot. Their immovable opinions brought to light are usually not terminal to a friendship. We all draw lines in the sand-- I for one am not sticking around when the white hoods come out. However, I am seeing very flimsy thresholds for tolerance that border on bigotry themselves. I myself have always joked I am anti-Republican, but lo and behold, I do have Republican friends. I know because it came up when we first met and got comfortable enough to ditch the small talk. Yes, there was that moment for me, and likely them too, where a wariness settled in with that 'oh, you're one of THOSE' warning signs. However, the conversation didn't end there. I didn't quiz them up, demanding to know their stances. I truly enjoyed their company and their level of conservatism was made clear in our interactions. No flag waving, Bible-thumping, peeing on my leg at all. If I wanted to be ignorant, I'd throw that in their face and accuse them of all the ills of their party affiliation. However, I saw a human being working to enhance their way of life, their ideals, in the same way my beliefs and stances support my own.

Let me go back to the 'true colors' assumption from the beginning. This is the same fallacy of thought as considering alcohol a 'truth serum'. What people say in high emotion (or inebriation) does not reflect their 'true colors', I'm sorry to say. I was the sort of teenager that screamed 'I hate you' to my parents when I was sputtering for how I really felt, before I could FORM the true thought. I didn't hate them, I was just frustrated that I lacked the vocabulary just yet to tell them they didn't understand where I was coming from, was still struggling to understand it myself and being forced to do it right then was impossible. Sometimes, as humans, we are reactionary, inexperienced with a moment we are made to act or react in, but there are consequences to the sort of mistakes you can make in certain company. However, what I didn't know then was that pushing people away to be in my own head was NOT conducive to understanding. Making a habit of keeping people out of a process involving people is not going to give you the vocabulary you struggle with. While many of us need time to organize information to form the complete thought, we may need to humble ourselves to asking questions and reaching out to really satisfy the goal, then politely excusing ourselves to hear the thoughts in our own heads.

I usually stick to writing tips, but this does lead into concepts I touch upon in writing from time to time. There are countless quotes about the value of living life to enhance your writing, that you don't grow as a writer if you don't grow as a person, that chaining yourself to your desk is an act of immobility of thought. Bigotry and isolation does negatively affect your work unless your journey to confront and correct it enriches the conflict of your story. Yes, I am guilty of weeks of getting lost in writing, but one thing I enforce is breaks and sometimes just a short walk around the neighborhood. Some writers are terrified that tossing off their muse to take a break when the scene is just getting good means they risk losing that flow. 

Has that happened to you? In my case, it's always just the opposite. While writing UnNamed, I got interrupted by an unavoidable alarm when my head was just exploding with inspiration-- time to pick up the boys from school. I was in my head the whole walk, working out the scene I was itching to write, still mumbling in response to my nephews, and by the time I had gotten back to write, the ideas had only expanded. Even though it was a grey day, there was something meditative about the scenery, both familiar and real, that only fed the images and ideas in my head. I can't say for certain, but that scene might have been less than it was if I hadn't pulled away to consider it. It wasn't an emotional scene where hanging on may be more valuable to the impulse of that emotion. It may be worth adding the simplicity of that-- an emotional scene may need you to chain yourself to the moment, a thoughtful or logical scene may need the distance of thought.

Since I branched into talking about how flexibility of thought and circumstance blends into my writing, it's really time to tie up the post. It may be worth it to stick it out with a 'bigot'. They might be a conflict for you worth exploring. However, I do NOT condone what amounts to emotional abuse or some dangerous extremity that might being you to actual physical harm when they blurt out x word around the absolute worst audience. If you find that someone is consistently just ruining your moods, not giving you any grounds for inspiration or outright destroying it, don't stick it out. Sometimes, sentimentality can make us blind to just how bad it has gotten (hell, there are shows I watch well beyond enjoyment because I 'give it a chance to pick up'). I would never advise getting too deep into a toxic relationship. However, wave at the guy giving everyone the stink eye. Give stink eye to the loud bigot in line at the restaurant. Pick your battles, get a little uncomfortable, change some minds (especially your own).

Ah, but seriously-- don't lecture strangers. My blog is a good place to toss around ideas, but I'm not forcing anyone to listen or read. Creating a hostage situation to be heard is wasted wind to inflate your ego. Dial it back-- try leading by example. When people can see what actually works, they'll want to imitate that. Writing tips are often like that for me. Depending on how they are presented or considered determines whether I will give them any weight.

I haven't planned any posts-- I've been writing some scheduled posts, this one and one coming up concerning another look into gender and sexuality topics and why it's absurd that it's 'okay' or 'not okay' for a man/woman to write certain characters. Again, more musing than research. Typically, I reserve research for instructional posts (like the ones I did for formatting and cover design).

Looking into what I want to do for future posts. I'd love to do more instructionals-- no diplomacy needed and it lets me tap into my actual skill set.