Madness to Mastery

 I’ve been attempting to knock out the accumulation of projects I hoarded over the years (between the stress of the pandemic and the sudden worsening of my health, if you’re not up to speed; don’t worry, I don’t expect anyone to be). Some part of me created this desperate idea that I couldn’t possibly be done with life if I accumulated a ridiculous amount of things to fill it with. Online shopping was about the only thing I had the energy for.

And on the other side of getting that surgery that gave me a new lease on life, I’ve had a few bumps. Still having issues with the foot after getting a cortisone shot in the joint instead of the nerve (while it does help, I’m still experiencing the odd aching stiffness and occasional sudden stabbing sensation in that joint). And I have this odd sensation of something swollen in my throat but it doesn’t cause pain; doctor put me back on omeprazole but there’s an endoscopy in the future if it persists. So I’m still maneuvering through that with the hope that health can someday be a thing to be maintained rather than always fought for.

Updates aside, the topic is Madness to Mastery because of this. Dealing with the frustrations of things never going as planned, some of my hobbies have leaked into that area. I said before that I’m done with the micro minis. That beautiful Chinese house diorama isn’t something I regret doing but I said never again. It was a nightmare between the glue and the sheer stubbornness of such tiny fiddly pieces. I probably never said ‘fuck’ as many times in my life as I did when making it. 

But then I bought an even tinier purple house. And my sister further encouraged it with the little Malibu Barbie house to customize as well. I also have a 3D printer and a 3D pen she got me that I have yet to set up because, erm, I need another craft desk to get that setup. It actually won’t take up any extra room; the storage will actually allow me to condense and organize a lot of my craft stuff better. I can move the smaller one over to under my AC and some of the random small tables can get distributed to other rooms in this house they’d actually look better in.

Annnnd I’m straying from the point, but it’s redundant to say so since that’s true to my character. Going back to the micro minis, I started doing the purple house one and remembered that feeling of frustration. Trying to do it on my bed was a terrible decision as well. It was not more comfortable having to get up to find things that went flying out of my fingers and under my leg.

Still, I made some changes based on the frustrations of last time. Super glue is out now. Not only is it messy but it can absolutely destroy pieces this tiny if you make any mistake at all. I now use just clear craft glue which is applied with Tombow clear glue, which has a broad pad on one side and a fine pointed end on the other. Application is key to getting this right. If I need even tinier precision, toothpicks and even the super sharp end of tweezers can be the best. I don’t have a magnetic jig, which I should invest in if I do more kits this way, but I’ve learned to apply generous dots to prop up pieces and I can often just use different thicknesses of cardboard to keep the fragile bonds together until they fully cure. It can be aggravating if they fall before bonding enough or bumped just the slightest bit but that’s actually a great trade off. Super glue even might bond quickly but it’s similarly unstable until fully cured so I’d much prefer having to correct craft glue than super glue mistakes.

Rubberized tweezers and reverse tweezers (squeezing them opened them so they clamp by default) are other additions that make all the difference. So while there are still some specific frustrations having to do with giant hands working with ridiculously tiny parts, the idea that I would have to be insane to try it again isn’t actually that crazy. 

It actually brings me back to learning vector drawing in Illustrator. I hated it with a passion. Thought it was so stupid. But there finally came a point where I got it and quite violently became obsessed with using it. Anything that was frustrating to do cleanly freehand, I could draw up with connecting points and bend and maneuver lines to get exactly what I have in mind, not just erasing and redoing a whole line to get it right over and over.

Sometimes necessity makes you plug away at some terrible task you wish you could just pay someone to do and not look back. Sometimes you just really want to stop hating it because knowing how to do it yourself opens a world of possibilities. And in this case, being able to make miniatures myself is just way too tempting to give up on. Even if I opt to 3D print pieces later, I will still often be sanding and perfecting those, maybe painting or adding itty bitty cushions to itty bitty couches. And it’s, rightfully so, super expensive to commission micro minis anyway because even far more practiced pros will need to spend gobs of time and frustration. And quite frankly, you can’t expect them to get shipped undamaged. While you can make them shelf stable easily enough, the bumps and tumbles of shipping, even carefully packed in air to avoid it as much as possible, might not be enough to insure they reach you intact. 

So, aside from cost and risk, learning from these very frustrating mistakes is the fine line between madness and mastery. And as amazing as I am at a few things, I can make mistakes in those areas too. Someone being the best at what they do doesn’t make it impervious to the limitations available. I’ve run into plenty of visual problems in design that research and consorting with experts doesn’t solve. As much as I love editing and writing, at times there just isn’t a word or phrasing to convey exactly what I or a writer I edit for is after. And you have to use those million dollar words sparingly because if your work is making scholars stop every sentence to check the meaning or usage, the writing just isn’t that effective. Intellect isn’t worth much if not combined with the wisdom of applying it with intent.

Of course, some things we just can’t be amazing at. But if we enjoy it, some things are workable. Many times, enjoying it for yourself is where it should stay. The skill is just not there to be selling or marketing it. It seems ideal to feed buying supplies for a hobby by selling the results but you may need to be flexible with that idea. You may want multiple hobbies and select the ones you excel at to provide for the others. Not every foray into a hobby HAS to result in something salable. Sometimes your investment will be in embarrassing mistakes and lessons learned before it’s up to par. Don’t be so afraid someone will steal your ideas before you have the skills to put them out in high quality. Don’t be afraid to not share every failure, which sounds odd but when you’re starting out, the insincerity of people saying it’s good can disillusion you when it fails so miserably in market and the comments get brutal. It’s okay if the failure makes you too vulnerable to handle joking about it or hearing it sucks. Some people forget that we don’t owe social media every part of our journey. And sometimes it’s better to just publish posts you want to represent you. Maybe even save and collect the failures in a collage to remind beginners there are no ‘naturals’ and perfection doesn’t exist. By the time you share them then, it’s possible you’re more than ready enough to handle laughing at your own expense.

So if you keep returning to those projects you’d have to be insane to do again, don’t be afraid to subquest off of the main and just experiment with how you can do that task better. Is it possible you can ignore the instructions and create a better workaround? Those little potted plants where you pull tiny leaves through tiny seed beads; maybe you can attach them to threads to hold and pull them snugly into that impossible little opening. Sometimes we’re simply bad at the way others do things. See a frustrating spot of failure as a place to ask if there’s a way you could do it better. Share it in a craft group and get the added bonus of making another struggling crafter excited that it works for them too. 

Grow through frustration. Grow through alternative methods. Grow through contribution. Enjoy the odd attraction of madness and mastery!