"Kids These Days Get Awards for Everything!"

As a statement, I'd simply agree, but since it's always said with derision, there's a clear lapse in perspective that needs to be addressed.

Let's start with a little background. Where I live is one of the places where the school district was crumbling so badly over time that we were one of the places chosen on a government stimulus to revive the condition of our schools. The middle school and high school always accommodated all of the kids in our district, right in the middle of town, whereas the elementary schools were always kind of floating, 2 or 3 at a time, in buildings on the edges of our not-so-illustrious parts of town. Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say we're impoverished here. However, while it was mostly middle class here when growing up, downtown Cincinnati began gentrifying the historical areas downtown, effectively pushing poor urban families into neighborhoods where rental houses were becoming more abundant.

Therefore, this area is now more populated by less wealthy families. Even in high rent areas they can't sustain long, the cost of moving is far less doable than taking on rent they can't afford and simply hoping they can make ends meet, job opportunities and raises will come along, before they're evicted for falling behind too much.

The anxiety of this factor is not a minor problem here and those home and lifestyle problems are very real to a great deal of the children here. Our district sees some of the lowest test scores and the highest dropout rates. However, building a huge new school in the middle of town has become a sort of sanctuary for these struggling kids and it could be much worse the way things were before. The teachers try to assimilate some of the most troubled kids with the kids who are more well-adjusted, but it's just as true that they have to create environments that don't drag down high performing kids. It's been a frustrating struggle, but the schools have been doing a wondrous job in, not just pushing kids to succeed, but also giving them incentives to develop into adults.

One of those successful reforms comes as awards. This year, they started using a tier system. Tier 3 kids are the lowest performing and will not be promoted to the next grade. Tier 2 kids are struggling and may not be able to handle more demanding work. Tier 1 kids are average and above, the kids that only need further encouragement to keep performing well. Tier 1 kids are given the privilege of field trips while Tier 2 kids are considered, based on how hard they are trying. You truly have to be neglecting school work to even be Tier 3. So Tier 3 isn't necessarily punished. These kids are often personally tutored, either by Tier 1 kids or community volunteers, and any show of improvement gets them off of Tier 3 in a heartbeat.

It's important to know that only teachers and the individual student know their tier number. They are allowed to share it with peers but it's discouraged, just as much as talking about how much money you make at your job. It's not a scarlet letter, just a measure of how much attention needs to be focused on their ability to succeed on that grade level. You wouldn't believe how healthy it is for these kids. They don't throw numbers at these kids, just goals for personal success. Turning the competition into a personal goal keeps them from getting frustrated with themselves for not being like their peers, frustrated with each other for the need to best one another.

To further press that point, my nephews perform at the top tier, but there is zero arrogance about it, no bullying based on being 'nerds' nor any perceived privilege. One of their friends quite plainly told me at the end of the year that he was Tier 3 and was staying in the same grade. He didn't have a brusque or defeated attitude about it and I reflected the same back, with the encouragement that it's good that he'll be able to focus on learning the work and it happens. One of my nephews moved into a school district with stricter requirements once so he was set back a grade. It's not an indication of intelligence and high school is a new ballgame.

One of the ways these kids are successfully moving up in their tiers is because they are recognized for 'simply' improving. They have awards for citizenship, which amounts to simply being kind to each other. They have awards for showing up. I know that sounds absurd all by itself but this is a school district where the breakfast and lunch served at school are the only meals some of these kids get. Kids walk in the snow without coats and in the rain without umbrellas, the same kids that can't afford school supplies or uniforms. We don't shame those kids here. Any kid can walk into our school offices and tell the secretaries they need clothes or supplies and they get them, no questions asked. Some of the kids go home to negligent or abusive parents, sometimes parents they need to take care of. 

Schools are not the place to throw every kid into boot camp on the harsh realities. While the curriculum is definitely something schools need to improve, some of these kids are already hitting hard realities at home. A shaky economy and the stress that comes with it are factors these kids are all too aware of. If it takes a few pieces of paper and pats on the back to keep these kids on their feet, the least we can do is stop hissing through our teeth about their privilege.

Until you've actually gone to parent-teacher conferences, assemblies and know exactly why these schools are using these methods, it's best that you hold your tongue against the vitriol of assumptions.

Statewide reform needs vast improvement. Curriculums need more life skills and artistic classes to balance academically. Test scores need less weight on measure of performance. But as for these schools, some of them are really reaching kids, at the very least initiating them towards adulthood without dismissing their childhood.

Kids these days need very different things than you and I did. Don't begrudge them systems that actually work. You didn't have internet, you didn't have social media, you didn't have this shithole economy looming over your career prospects fresh out of school. Give these kids an award just for being on the right path. Let them anticipate rewards/compensation for things done right. Think of it as their paycheck if you must. They do earn it.

Kids Never See Me as Unemployed

Once more, I have to give props to kids for their perspectives about life. Yes, there are places where their inexperience or optimism or even open-mindedness may seem naive, but it also helps you shed some of those crusty edges-- the misery we mask as practical or responsible, the way we judge ourselves so harshly.

I've said before-- I hate the humble brag. Yet the other day, I was caught doing it. When asked what my job is I reverted back to saying that my last employer was Petco, but now I'm an artist (and author, duh, but it was my friend Erika that chimed in on that for me). It wasn't a conscious attempt to humble brag but, damn it, that's exactly what it sounded like and one that downplayed a DREAM. Not just a job, not even a reliable career, but a dream that I'm actively pursuing. And yes- it's still in its infancy, still feels surreal. Hell, when someone remembers that I have fibromyalgia (among other things), I almost forget that sometimes myself. Not because I'm not in pain, but because I'm used to defending myself as being 'fine' and my threshold for pain is something I've just grown so used to, it's not something I give any thought to. It just is. Like how kids can put zero thought into the transition between running and jumping on a bicycle and pedaling.

I can't say for certain why I felt so apologetic instead of proud. I work 8-14 hour days on my work. I was actually embarrassed that I had responded with so little enthusiasm-- at least until my friend's son Billy (wait, I think we call him Will now, but I am bad enough with learning one variation so that might take a few tries) was genuinely impressed. I don't mean just with a 'wow' but that instant lift of eyebrows and sudden lean towards you that isn't faked interest. No 'why don't you have a REAL job' or 'yeah, but what ELSE do you do?'

Perhaps a lot of adults forget their dreams or give up on them. Some actually resent people who take different risks and prioritize different sacrifices. Something about society made them believe that anything you wanted prior to age 30 was childish and impossible. Kids (and my very wonderful friends and family) just know me. Long-time friends and family know what I went through to gain that courage, what sacrifices I make to balance my priorities, and so on. Kids, well, they don't know the grittiest parts but they are still capable of understanding something that adults gloss over. 

For kids, dreams are stars, way up high, and know that up through the unknown is scary, unpredictable, but thrilling. For a great deal of adults, dreams are still stars. The nearest one is the Sun, the others impossibly far, and you'd burn up before you ever got there. So maybe a dream does start out as impractical. That we start to learn our expectations are unlikely, unrealistic, and many decide it's not worth it. My dream may have had its infancy, but when I collided with disappointment, doubt, and fear, I readjusted my attitude.

And I get this much; much of the responsibilities we chose to take on, thinking it was just what adults do (kids, marriage, jobs) gave us new priorities. I spent a good 15 years in short-lived jobs, battling my health issues, never understanding why adulting just wasn't panning out. My life, like so many others, wasn't according to plan. I never made enough money to have my own place, never kept a job long enough to do so, jumped in and out of hospitals, lost so many people. I didn't want marriage or kids, but I took on raising my nephews without a second thought. After gaining my second degree in graphic design, I wanted to find a job as a graphic designer, but I never learned how to drive and zero offers were reachable by public transit. Plus, my hours had to fit into when the kids were in school. I couldn't physically work as a cashier anymore. I tried sell handcrafts but I got tired of people undervaluing my work.

Writing started to fill those anxious hours where nothing seemed to fit right. And kids, kids are always the ones that can be completely ignorant of that last paragraph and simply think it's exciting that I didn't just write-- I drew, I formatted, I published. Tons of people write but, as I've said before, everyone 'has ideas' or 'is writing a book'. Some people even publish then get discouraged when they aren't a smash hit and it ends there. Kids see the results and marvel at them. Even without experience to make them jaded, they know it's no small feat. They don't need time or trials to understand insecurity and not finishing what you start. 

You can grumble about kids these days all you want. There have always been hormonal, entitled, reckless, unstable kids, but more often than not, I see kids who make me hopeful for the future. Many of them do more than access social media to bully or gossip-- they're smart and aware and struggling with a world very different from ours at their age. My parents was before the technological boom, mine was on the cusp, these kids are in the thick of this explosion of information and chaos. None of us really get each other and I'm tired of the pissing contest on who had it worse; you really can't compare the sum of anyone's experiences that simply. Still, I see people giving up on these kids before they've even gotten started. They certainly don't whine or procrastinate any more than adults and beneath the teenage bravado, they're scared of what the future might hold too. Youthful arrogance that they can do better might be overblown, but it's like revving your engine before a race-- showy but it puts you in the mindset for the race and preps the vehicle.

I'm rather fond of kids that don't let a jaded world limit their perspective. Whether we completely 'get' each other or not is of no consequence. For someone to be able to assess the value of your contribution without asking you to justify it is the most wonderful, reaffirming experience. So I'll work at it. Someday, I won't revert to the stupid impulse to apologize for working hard to chase a dream. I may need a few brilliant reminders from the most amazing people I know. They don't always know how amazing they are, but that's what I'm here for.

We raise this village. Not one busted cog in the bunch.