Friday, November 29, 2019

Rolling Along

Despite being rather roly-poly on Thanksgiving dinner (and more Thanksgiving dinner, being leftovers), I'm hauling my ass up to work at King's Island's Winterfest tonight and tomorrow night as well. Would I ever love to be lazy, but having Christmas (and Nintendo Switch) money is the higher priority.

NaNoWriMo? I got about 500 words done this month but I'm calling a personal month as a sort of New Year's Resolution in my future to make up for it. 

My doll projects are only getting lightly poked at but I have a FairyLand Karsh (my first strung ball-jointed doll!) and a MiniFee something or other that I won as a freebie coming so the dolls are officially getting out of hand! I've got a girl Nendoroid blank body coming but couldn't pass it up at $10. So I have a butt load to personalize but I'd still like to wait to until I get an airbrush set to do face ups. It would make the sealant part go much smoother.

I did cave and get the print copies of my three trilogies, which is a little boost too. It doesn't feel real that I've written 11 books, that I've got even more being written, however slowly. Writing a single book is a big deal so when I look back and see how much work I did over three years to get those books to print, it's staggering. I have to really sit (and fidget, as my doctors would joke) and look at what a huge accomplishment that is and really let myself absorb that. It still doesn't seem real that I published my first book in August 2017 and got the others together within a year. And it wasn't a rush job. Somehow I sat and edited them countless times, did covers, formatted, built a little website, and I still didn't see how very much I had done to make it happen. Only when I sit and think do I remember the vast amount of work and care I put into making it happen.

But I have wonderful friends who always remind me. Who remember to remind me to be proud, to feel the accomplishment. To keep gathering stuff to make a wonderful booth at some upcoming convention and to believe in my many talents. Because whether or not I always see it, there is very little I set out to learn that I don't master with practice and diligence. And when it's time to take a break, even if I sit out for a full year, I often accomplish more in a year than people who set out to do so in a decade or two.

Why? Because I believe that dreams are worth working for. That sometimes there's a fire and sometimes there are embers but we mind them how we can. We force the flame or stare at the embers but we can't seem to put it behind us. We don't look at our age or even accomplishments. When pursuing a dream, all those worries get to vanish for a while when we crack into our working mind. We don't always pay attention to time or deadlines. Sometimes we charge beyond a goal, sometimes we fall short, but we don't forget. Dreams that persist just don't pass like waking dreams. They encompass all we are and demand. To ignore them is the only way to feel regret.

I consider myself lucky. That I have such a varied life full of work and wonder and people who see what I hope to be yet appreciate what I am. Whether I'm pinching pennies or emptying my wallet, they're just not looking at my material state. My dreams don't live or die based on wealth. Now, working pulls the energy out of me, sure, but that's a temporary situation I am also currently grateful for. I've been able to fund some of those material goodies to make my brand memorable. My name is rather unique too and comes up easy on searches...

Rambling is a sign I'm ready to go, but thanks for reading! Back to the grind and with hope in my step. May your steps fall only on the path you choose!

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