Too Much of a Good Thing

Complacency is a common pitfall. You think you want a job where you can where pajamas all day until you realize that freedom often comes with a sense of isolation and your routines, even basic hygiene, just don't fall under such high standards when you really have no reason to be inoffensive. You think a life where you can eat anything you like and not work out sounds terrific until you start getting out of breath just walking up a short flight of stairs and you just don't appreciate food like you did on those rare cheat days.

I remember my dad and aunt both fancied the idea of retirement and it drove them crazy in a few short months. When you find your work fulfilling, you try to 'enjoy' these gobs of free time that you just didn't realize were at least partially fulfilled by that job you couldn't wait to leave. My dad has always loved construction. There are few buildings we can pass in the city of Cincinnati that he didn't help build or renovate. 

I'm glad to be out of retail jobs, for sure, but I really enjoy working around people. Which is an odd thing because I'm not highly social. I do get asked a lot if I'm okay when I end up working alone-- washing dishes, prepping tables--it always makes me laugh because, like one girl said who understood, it gives me time to enjoy my own head-space. I often enjoy conversation, even when it doesn't make much sense or isn't directed at me. I find that jobs where people are around energize me just as much as a solitary work environment.

I'm certainly not alone. Once people are willing to shed old perceptions like Type A or B personalities, or Myers-Briggs analyses, a lot of us find we're more accurately adaptive ambiverts and able to take on different levels of social challenges. It's not weird. It's not quirky. It's not even that confusing. It's 'not tonight, honey, I have a headache'-- same sentiment, different application.

Excess is just as bad when things seem too good. We need certain amounts of good and bad stress to appreciate most what we think we'd rather be doing. Some of us can't even manage to stay away from work even when we go on vacation. True, some people just don't know how to relax, but it's just as true that our work is sometimes our zen. Away from traditional environments like a formal workspace or cubicle, etc., it's possible we're even more curious as to what we might come up with in less formal settings.

Of course, some jobs, especially those that offer no mental stimulation (some factory jobs and so on), we're more than happy not to take home. I haven't always had the greatest jobs, so I can certainly say I know what it's like to be happy to forget. Yet I've also discovered there are some jobs that you take home with you, if only because you truly thrive and grow with it. I loved being a florist. It was what finally pushed me to go to school for graphic design. It was what filled my head with stories and art once more.

I've worked with plenty of people who were suspicious of why I loved my job. Show it too much and some of my bosses suspected I was just slacking off. However, it was because it kept me so busy, because of its unique challenges, that I made it look fun. In fact, I would often have periods of frustration when I encountered problems or messed up, but they just never compared to the joy I found in my work.

Sometimes people perceive a cheerful attitude as too much of a good thing, but I didn't think it applies at all. It's nonsense usually sparked by their own envy rather than actually being bad for you. No, when I say 'too much of a good thing', it's something that comes from telling ourselves an easier life is more fulfilling.

If you have any ambition in your soul, that spark never goes out. I've often repeated the adage that artists never retire, but it's not just limited to creatives. Many of us find happiness is embedded in the challenge of our skills. Even if we believe we have nothing more to learn, we still want to keep showing off those skills, perhaps even enjoying a little praise or awe for our efforts.

I don't know about you, but the satisfaction of wearing pajamas is all the more awesome for the hours you spend pining for them.

Jobs Suck, But We Like Money

My cousin's mom, Lisa, repeated this sentiment last weekend as we were getting off of our shift at King's Island's Winter Fest.

It couldn't be more true. It's why I could never quite trick myself into believing things would get better, that getting to know the same people year after year, people that constantly want to talk about hating their jobs-- I wasn't about that life. So I'd taken a lot of jobs I was overqualified for, just to avoid sticking to some stagnant, joyless existence. It sucked too, never making money to reflect my experience, corporations putting citizens in a position where they are underpaid for their skills, under the guise that they are new and have to always work their way up. Let's face it, after a probationary period, salaries need to be no less than living wage. But capitalism... I'm not saying all of its concepts are bad, but corporations get away with too much shit and it's keeping our economy from recovering. It's keeping struggling adults struggling.

UpShift is a godsend for a dreamer like me. I get the impression that I weird people out a bit. I don't try to talk to anyone, but I'm polite when spoken to. I don't make a lot of eye contact, I stumble on simple words, but I work hard. While, yes, I'm overqualified, I do get to make the wages I'm qualified for even if the job is anything but suitable to my skills. My pain levels have been higher and resting doesn't make me feel rested, but I can work as much as I want then just as easily take as much downtime as I need. I can fill it with writing and drawing and dreaming of a life where my skills are exactly what people want.

It's a wonderful service that gives me hope again. It doesn't tell me I need to follow society's darling model to be worthwhile. I can save for what I need to bring attention to my creative pursuits. I can take vacations when I damn well want. I can work on my writing when I'm on vacation (hello, writer's retreat). 

Baby boomers don't really get it. They think they have to worry about me. Too little, too late, since their excess put my generation here. But no. I found a way to finish college and I found a job service tailored to my life goals. Sure, I'm hopelessly in debt because we still have a long way to go to compete with the happiest countries on Earth (the ones that might tax the hell out of you but make sure that money means never paying for medical care or education)... But I make do. Sometimes I even take a bullet to catch a criminal, which means I took on more debt than I could handle to expose a broken system.

Lol one time, I even purposely made a bogus purchase, just so I could have my bank investigate what I suspected were phishers. I got the money back and they got shut down. Okay, I actually did that a few times, but I knew my bank protected my money and I would get it back. Going through safer channels like police reports usually never gets investigated before phishers can hit thousands of people. You'd be surprised how fast banks can expedite this.

So I'm clearly no stranger to risks. They may not be the smartest, but that's the point of risks--that they may make you look stupid. You still have to believe that some good will come out of them-- a lesson or a blessing, as the saying goes, but acting with integrity and an openness to accepting the consequences is as important as the risk itself. It didn't matter that I might put my own security at risk sometimes. I had a hard life from a young age and that taught me that security is as much as illusion as anything.

Our work is never done. We have this perception of coasting on a victory, but I know that the hustle is for life. Most of my generation doesn't even get to consider retirement so we are pioneers of a life no one can really advise us on. We worry more about our health because it's a very real possibility we'll die of some stupidly preventable disease. Not to mention, our bodies, if they reach old age, will still need to be viable for work.

So, yes, my generation needs dreams. Our Great Depression might be laughed at but our reality is that we can't afford to let people tell us how to live. We have to be the arbiters of our own fortune and luck because the odds are against us. To stay viable and optimistic, we have to be willing to shut out the noise and find our own paths. And maybe somewhere down the line a future generations can dig us out. I hope my nephews' get to live a much better life.

Although, what is 'better'? I don't consider my life a failure. I don't suck at life. I wasn't dealt the best hand, but I have amazing friends and family that came from those struggles. I have people in my life that enhance my optimism and I have these abundant inner reserves that don't let me give up. I am able to be a wonderful role model and deliver my perspective with the power of comfort in solitude yet an ability to adapt and contribute in team situations. I'm comfortable with letting people teach me and generous when it's in my power to teach.

What I feel is better may be a life that doesn't challenge them enough. I want them to know what it's like to be graceful when you need others but empowered to handle being needed. We all want a world where there aren't gates put up that future generations are locked out of, where they at least have the opportunity to climb and overcome. Yet that generation, they will probably be better equipped to handle what left us bewildered.

Jobs will suck, but we'll keep being pioneers of our own destiny.

Five Days of Not Writing

Although this is one of my favorite times of the year to hunker down and get to writing, today marks five days of not doing that. No editing either.

I'm not worried.

It's also the time of year I up and decided to do some weekend work at the local theme park and crochet a bunch of last minute gifts. My head is in writing still, but the priorities temporarily shifted.

I enjoy doing concessions. I don't do any of the business end, just help with food prep, cleaning and gofering. It's a pretty nice gig that pays very well and the people are a joy to work with. This will also help me promote myself as a writer and work towards better equipment and getting a booth for ComicCon.

Just like online college set up an opportunity to focus better on my skills, this job service lets me shop for great jobs that fit my personality and lifestyle. It's a job model that should be available everywhere, frankly. It's like Uber for job seekers and both employers and employees can find ideal situations and meaningful connections this way.

Back to the crochet, but I'll be inspiring a whole surge of writing through these experiences so all for the better!