More on Totem

I went back to Totem today, but I'm looking at the draft lines I started and... decided to start over. I did keep the basic structure, but each of the characters is a different ethnicity and mood and it just felt like it was missing something that a few quick lines wouldn't accomplish. There are several enmeshing elements that combine them, things that blend and things that separate. There is no hierarchy here, but I'm sure people will read into that. I'll talk more about what my thoughts were when I created it when it's finished, of course, but likely in a separate post from the picture itself, just because I don't WANT to lead you into exactly what you're 'supposed' to be seeing. I still want to give the viewer some ownership of their thoughts and impressions, to have visceral reactions rather than know what to expect.

So all I got done today was fully drafting it. Now, normally a draft takes me 10 minutes, an hour at most. This one took me two hours and a slightly different approach. For one, I like to do draft lines in the most extreme colors of the digital spectrum. In this case, I started with blue (or cyan, that eye-blinding light blue) to form their bodies and faces, then used green to do clothes and accessories. Usually I stick with those two, but this time, I did yellow for the hair lines. Most notes were jotted down in the same color and layer I was working in at the time.

However, I finally got the lines, direction, mood, and many elements to flow without becoming too busy. There's a little bit of a background in this one, but only because it's an important bleed into the foreground. I'm not much of a background artist, if only because large scale distance planning is not my forte. I've managed to do some outdoor backgrounds, but they typically aren't large scale (a dense forest, a waterfall, a mountain at closer range, etc). Indoor can be challenging but I also rarely get creative with the architecture. If I really want to do so, I still know my way around basic 3D modeling and could throw together some basic furniture shapes and room dimensions to help out with backgrounds.

Mostly I end up sticking to characters. That's where I start to connect with the moods and emotions of drawing. It's not the abstract that draws me in, although living bodies are plenty diverse. However, it is the underlying skeleton, the movement of muscle and skin (or feather and fur) that freeze in their dynamic states that really connect me to the work. I love to blend real anatomy with my favored Disney and anime influences to create something personal. If I want a quick fix, some comic line work does the trick. If I want to bleed, sweat, cry and ache, it comes down to a painting that won't let me go for days or weeks at a time.

Speaking of which, part of the reason I broke off was because that ache has gone from delicious to actual back and shoulder pain, so I'm cutting off of here soon as well. There's something gratifying about turning work I can't yet share into words.

But as usual, I'm both screen shotting progress for a post that shows my workflow as well as planning to share the picture in one post and my impressions in another. So there will be three separate posts pertaining to it... unless I feel like throwing another one of these impatient posts in while it's a work in progress.

For now, a break is in order. More to come before another work day pops into the radar.

Nope. Also, Nope.

I realize because of my last two topics, I probably seem like I need the number to a help hotline. I can assure you that, though inspired by dark moods, hormonal surges and the side effects of a diet my body is not happy about, those were simply topics I wanted to get serious about. I'm just someone who bounces between dark and humorous on a whim. Many times, they are even written on the same day and scheduled to look like I didn't write four posts in one day.

I could very well go into the fascinating topic of the biology and proclivities of men and women. Then again, I'm determined to drown out the extremes, negate the call for sterilization of gender, and mend fences.

Oh gawd, adorable tiny fences!

 Clotheslines, too? You can't be mad when it's miniature! (Although, I'm thinking men might immediately object to that.)

But let's not. I didn't exactly say I was DONE being jungle Jane (doesn't have the same zing as Tarzan) but I'm still swinging and not looking to blog under the influence.

For no reason.

Still saving for a charger and stuff. Still making do. Oh, I did paint a less creepy face on one of my dolls.

Annnnd, looking at the date, I better get off of here to start making birthday gifts for my nephews and my friend's little girl in early September. 

Hint: I can't knit. (It's going to be made out of beads.)

When We Look For Advice, We Aren't Looking for 'Experts'

If just looking for experts in a field was a surefire way to be like them, to have just a little taste of their success or find the perfect method. Yet pour through their blogs, videos and podcasts and even those who aren't selling pills, webinars and their time/expertise (the ones with freebies) are often dishonest, if only because they don't mention one thing at some point.

They honestly have no clue how they made it.

Each of them spout hard work, opportunities, but again-- if they don't throw luck in there, it's not quite honest.

Fans could easily tell you what they like about your work. Trolls can tell you why they dislike it. Between those extremes, you may get a more level-headed assessment but that doesn't mean you'll find the definitive answer there.

Now, I didn't go looking for the magic pill to write this. Maybe ten or fifteen years ago, I sought out this elusive magic and learned that even when something works, it may not work again or time will alter how something affects you. Adaptability and personal tolerance are factors, not just chemically, but physically, mentally, emotionally. If you have a doctor/friend/guru that truly cares about you, you'll face several adjustments to your journey or need a new mentor altogether when you feel they're just not jibing with what you need. You may need help, you may need isolation and reflection. 

I did go hunting for current videos/blogs/etc. offering advice. It wasn't so much to find something new to try. More often than not, they're echoes of each other, but if you're lucky you might find one using a unique voice or just a little tweak from what you've tried, something that might actually be the breakthrough in your doubts that keeps you going. 

When we look for advice, sometimes we're just trying to touch base with parts of ourselves buried under a muck of other priorities. We're looking for the meditation to find what we want to be doing. Some of us are fine with delving into fiction and wandering until we stumble on what we didn't know we were looking for. I have the habit of looking for non-fiction articles, a quick fix before I get into creation.

This is largely why I've never taken to the 'how many books have you read in x amount of time' fad. I don't keep track and lately, I haven't read books. If I sit down to read a book, it has to be concentrated on in one sitting or a handful of days consecutively or it gets lost when my brain discards it in favor of what it thinks it needs to work. Reading, as a writer, is important. However, the marathons aren't the only efforts that count. Look at track events in the Olympics that are done in the blink of an eye. There are years of discipline jammed into small parcels. It's a great place to learn how to condense big ideas.

While I do look at novels for methods of the long game, I always feel my attention is engaged more when authors aren't aiming for high word counts with poetry and filler. It's the kind of author I aim to be now. However, I also like to write those detail-heavy stories (romance is one such place that uses this) that let you exercise your ego and penchant for observing and capturing every detail. I sometimes read what I'm not at all fond of just to assess why I don't. It's easy to write what you don't want to read when you don't make the conscious effort to avoid it. Your brain just sometimes flows with the familiar, not whether you should or shouldn't, but you can always train your brain to pick up on it later.

Yeah, I could write a blue streak about why women are drawn to 'romantic detail'. The gist of it being that many females are more biologically attuned to haptic stimulation, and any pursuit that simulates control over touch can be not just an aphrodisiac, but a high level mental stimulus. This is also connected to why women tend to be drawn to repetition (puzzle and simulation games, 'you've read one romance, you've read them all.'). I wouldn't say it's a rule, all you 'not one of those women', however, it's a fascinating read in female psychology how sex, for women, isn't always just about sex. Even being a non-traditional female, it turns out I do share and utilize feminine-dominant traits and I'm not at all ashamed of that. I'd love to go into this subject someday but this isn't the day.

'Experts' aren't the only ones with insight, is what I'm getting at. I'm no self-proclaimed sexpert or psychologist but I bet you could pick anyone's brain on something they've been intrigued about and come up some more unique takes on your theme involving it. Look for stimulus. It's amazing for writer's block too.