Stinking Cold...

I'm not throwing in the towel yet, even though this cold is making it impossible to start writing for NaNo. I know; rather than wasting my limited time before getting dizzy while blogging it could be writing.

No, it couldn't. Trust me. If I was writing a book about LSD trips, I'd be good, but I literally thought I saw a pair of boots running a few feet ahead of the girl wearing them today. I'm not taking any meds that would do that, just good old fashioned sick hallucinating.

On that note, I felt okay to make a flower chain for my doll's head, so again, total hippie LSD shit I wouldn't trust in my book.

I guess that's a pretty important point-- know thy book. I'm sure people can gush about how surreality is exactly what fuels their creativity, but it's just not going to be for every writer. Even though I write fantasy, the book I'm working on has some pretty tight logic systems that I REALLY don't want to confuse with... whatever my head is doing these days. One pretentious thing that some writers do that makes me want to punch a nun is that thing where they act like being altered is the source of their creativity. I've spend a good part of my life struggling with an undiagnosed mental condition that did more to hinder than help. It's not because I lacked the ability to harness it. I've worked through depression, anxiety and hyperfixation, but there's not always a pretty solution around it. Sometimes it rides you. Sometimes you beat it into submission, but there's never been a formula--no matter how pretentious I might have claimed there is in the past. I was lucky sometimes, unlucky at others. Now I'm simply satisfied when I try.

So, no panicking just yet. I knew this cold would be a kicker on my ability to enjoy a word count. But drawing, doll customization projects, the ability to feel fulfilled--all of those things are on the back burner while I do that gutter-fucking slut-genitalia ass-blasting boredom circuit that is being sick. I haven't enjoyed balloony headedness as I have in the past with colds. Nope, this one just sucks and leaves me with this incessant need to do things my body is just not letting me do.

Except for sleep. Lots of that planned until I can heal up and kick some ass again.

Mwah. Love, peace and chicken grease!

Letting It Go

I've never claimed to be an expert at anything, but there's one question I've been asked that I can answer more easily now.

How do you know when it's time to 'let go' of your work and put it out there?

I don't think I've ever seen a definitive answer and anyone who claims otherwise is driving on full ego. However, I've learned to combine an educated guess with a gut feeling.

How many drafts? How many edits? How many times did I pass that error before I finally caught it? If so, can I be sure I haven't missed more? Should I shave my head bald or risk ripping it out in handfuls?

First things first, it's less knowing and more... Resignation. Despite the way that word sounds like a weakness or a way to surrender in defeat, you must realize that you will always catch a mistake, whether it's grammar or just not liking something about it. I can tell you that I typically make at least three full passes, but on occasion, I'll suspect something missing in one scene while correcting another and scoot back to pore over it again.

In one of Neil Gaiman's Twitter posts, he answered in response to the question of how to write plot:

"Write down everything that happens in the story, and then in your second draft make it look like you knew what you were doing all along."

It sounds easy, but it resonates with a lot of writers. Some writers can actually shit out gold on paper, others crouch with Hemingway's iceberg, under the belief that the best stories are mostly beneath the surface and must slowly melt and rise to the surface. Yet, you can't rely on advice here, to trust any advice that tells you one or the other is best or that you should strive for a timeframe in between. Some of my favorite authors tend to release one book a year, but that doesn't speak of the quality I find in the ones that release four a year or one every four years.

You can edit too much. You can edit too little. Too much and it's possible to make an incomprehensible mess as you shove in more and more detail. Too little and people will be frustrated by grammar and plot errors. Your voice can suffer too. Either you end up utilizing it too little or you get so invested in it, your ego overpowers the actual story. Possibilities, not inevitabilities, but worth considering. There are many times when editing, I think I need to add, add, add, but once I add something, I realize I over encumbered it. I entertained myself, but lost sight of the plot.

Since I started publishing, there is very little I've tossed aside. Some have fallen out of WIP status so I could challenge myself to focus on a single story, but I tend to throw my unfinished self-amusing writing onto WattPad. I don't like leaving things unfinished, but not actively working on everything is not the same thing. Essentially, everything unfinished is still a WIP. There's always the hope that I will come back to it, that it might grow into some form of completion.

It's never easy to put out that final draft into a published work. While you could change self published work if you chose, it's generally not a good idea to post altered editions just because you couldn't let it go. If you want to publish but poke at something as much as you like, non-fiction is perfect for that, especially for ebooks. Manuals, especially concerning topics that change constantly like technology, often need updating and reconsideration. Also a great way to drum up more sales over a much longer period of time than most fiction can enjoy.

Nitpicking doesn't guarantee a good story. Rushing to show off your prolific binges does not guarantee a good story. Enjoying it for yourself does not guarantee a good story.

Do the market and your own reputation a favor though; don't put out anything for sale just for the sake of completion or accomplishment. The minute you attach work to your tax information, a traditional publisher can find it. If you care to go that route, it could make it harder. Either way, you still don't want to drag your name through something you knew was crap. I've lost admiration for actors who threw away performances, musicians that put out rushed garbage. Put it up in forums, anonymously if you're concerned, but don't ruin the wonderful opportunity for writers to enjoy publishing without gatekeepers so you can impress someone in a bar. Indie can be a much harder road with all of the attacks on its integrity, so when you do decide to let your work go, believe it's your best.

No shame in tucking it away until your muse lures you back.

Abandon Outside Expectations

If my 'new plan for a new year' did anything, it wasn't simply making me set myself up for crippling failure, but reevaluating how I treat myself as a writer. I've done a lot of advice blogs, not coming from the place of an expert, but simply meant to help other writers to remember to be as flexible as their guys tell them to be.

So what about those lamenting they flit around and never finish anything? I could say that maybe the tides will turn, maybe you can try to try some methods that have worked for me. Still, you see the baffling overflow of bloggers and articles whining about how the overflow of ego-driven advice.

Where?

Seriously, where? This is the same thing that happened when Bird Box came out on Netflix. I saw tons and tons of memes complaining that social media is raving about it, but somehow, 99.9% of the people on my feed hadn't even bothered to see it. Given, I've got maybe 300-something friends on FaceBook and fuck Twitter, but the things that overflow into my feed sometimes assume we're all absorbing the same shallow sources.

A writer's bane is, what then; the burden of choice? That, in our most vulnerable times, we're possibly just drinking in the most click-baity articles while downing wine and using that fishing expedition as an excuse to claim we're 'blocked' or 'burnt-out'?

Because every writer I actually talk to has the equivalent of idea diarrhea (sorry that the analogy has come to this...) Even when we're not writing, we're endless streams of possibility. It's not anathema, to shy away from the pen or the keyboard. It's process and how you feel about it is contrary to how it actually works, more often than not.

The days where I write or edit the most are often days where I feel like, eh, I'll just poke at it for 15 minutes because I'm not feeling it. I never remember how much I enjoy it until I push it.

Sometimes I'm right and it doesn't take off, but this is one of those instances where I'm happy to be wrong.

Maybe it's because I went into the new year gently. I've finished all of the oral surgery, caught a bad cold and still, I'm hoping to get through the nitty gritty of editing and formatting. I'm really hoping to honor my mom's birthday with another book release, but I'm not going to panic if I have to adjust that goal. 

I know that doesn't sound gentle; the breaking of jaw and tooth, the wracking of coughs and the pile of publishing prep, but that's exactly how I see it. I've had to put off exercise goals so my body could heal first. I've gracefully chosen sleep when I really want to edit. I've taken my own advice, time and again, because the advice is only frustrating or useless to others if I'm just bleating the same shit other writers are apparently blogging about without applying it successfully myself.

Go ahead and blubber over click-baity advice while inebriated on your alcohol of choice sometimes. It's not the best advice I can give and it makes for a sad party, but what is good or bad advice comes with how well you mesh with, test or rebel against it. Don't let anything intimidate you against self-improvement. Don't let the pretentious goals of 'perfection' or 'mastery' push you off of being a story teller, no matter the medium you choose.

It is what it is. Sometimes the simplest truths are that plain. I can get flowery at times, but underneath the flower bed is a simple base of soil, a self-sustaining ecosystem that doesn't need me throwing fertilizer (or salt) down to feel like I'm doing enough.

Don't smother the garden. I can't stress enough that what keeps me steady on the path is being okay with not knowing every stone, not freaking out at every worm.

And while I heal, I'll be gentle, which includes busting my ass on a few pavers in my personal garden. Whatever works.

I may not be consistently blogging, but I'm at peace with that. It isn't a priority but I'll make it one when the time is right. Once a week sounds like a modest goal for now.

G-G-G-Goals!

Goals.

When people wonder what motivates the super-productive, it can be a tricky one to answer. Sometimes, it's not about the creating so much. I've sat down to write just to stay awake so I could be sure I hear the Fed-Ex guy delivering something because gods forbid they ever knock. Other times, it's just a great excuse to drink coffee and move my hands for a while. Or it's a break from crochet or drawing because my hands are itching to go but the threat of RSIs mean it's time to change up.

Sometimes, it's just a choice I make.

Goals (still here) help. I mentioned before the advertising and wanting to do ComicCon are big to-do's even though I haven't been making much money. At writing. I do take odd jobs here and there that means my fish don't starve, gifts are made, etc.

In some ways, I have too many, but I try not to look at the pile-up. There's the UnQuadrilogy I'm still working on. I have several books started with rough outlines for possible outcomes (one of which actually became a short story instead). I have two comic ideas I've been fiddling with treatments for. These aren't just maybes. These are ones I constantly think about, jot down notes for, all while writing up drafts and editing and the other life-ish things.

I'd love to bottle it and sell it. I'd be filthy rich and could afford a studio and employees and just pump shit out like a factory. However, it's a matter of whatever magic formula appealed to me. Like losing weight, it's not just something you can do for a week and, boom, you're done. To build good habits takes a lot of work and it's always easier to just not do it. Like losing weight. I really need to get back to that, but 'tis not the season when I have much else to do. The fish tank and long walks and running up and down the stairs because every truck sounds like a Fed-Ex truck maintains me for the time-being. The tough part is resisting the temptation to bundle up and eat. When you've got the genetic make-up of a she-bear, this body stores everything like it doesn't trust me not to eat for a while. It's not wrong. I forget. But bingeing is a big no.

It's a mental thing. Yeah, I'm mental, but I mostly mean discipline, fortitude, motivation. It takes patience and introspection. If you think sitting to think is wasting time when you could be doing something, then that's likely part of the problem. Thinking is the powerhouse for action. I can't tell you how often planning and brainstorming for an hour had led to typing 2k/hr for 5 hours of work. I managed a 10K sprint in part-time hours. My usual average is a modest 1k/hr so that's a HUGE time-cruncher. The same thing can be apply to your creative pursuits.

If you have an inner critic, you need some sort of ritual to drown them out. For drafting, it's absolutely pointless. When you are building up an idea, your ego, goals, criticism--they all have to GTFO. They'll have their place, but ideally, you need to stop worrying about everything within 10-15 minutes of steady work. If you have the sort of focus to try for longer, then go ahead and stumble for 30 minutes, an hour, but if you really can't get the creative juices in their own arena and your head keeps getting in the way, time to abandon it and try something else.

If you're stubborn (and I am that too), then it's not necessary to completely throw out your plans, but you will want to change tact. I've posted quite a few helpful ways to dabble in writing-related planning, including map-making, character sheets, blogging, updating social media or websites, mind-mapping, brain-storming, Venn Diagrams, eating, drinking, sleeping...

A common area that writers can forget. If you're a busy person, it's even easy to miss how important those things are to how useful your brain and body are. Eat, drink, sleep. Lots of water and, yes, it will make you pee a lot. There's a rule that I broke for years; you know, the thing video game warnings used to print out? You need a 10 minute break from sedentary work every hour. Having to get up to pee is a great excuse. If you find it too distracting, take a notebook with you (or keep it in the bathroom) and jot things down. I've similarly done yoga stretches or made food to eat while attacking a notepad. You think your art suffers for interruptions, wait until your body slows down after prolonged abuse. You could be looking at months, even years where just sitting up in bed is a chore. It's not just an old people problem-- it's a danger in an era of technological convenience.

It's really not necessary to keep lists like I do, but it doesn't hurt. If you just tend to forget, then setting alarms and making lists are good habits to start. 

Sure, it's tough. All of it. Typing fast, pounding out ideas, those are very hard won advantages to working efficiently, trial and error. It's messy. It's less messy once you build up your arsenal, but if what you want is to actually work on those ideas you're wistful to put to work, then you need goals. You need to devote time, however small. You need to plan what resources will make you more efficient. You need to have actual things to look forward to (like getting a booth and ComicCon, planning giveaways, paying for advertising).

Speaking of which, I'm hearing a lot of writers downing on paid advertising, yet some of my more successful writer friends are always drumming up interest in promotional materials, giveaways and... paid ads. I would, however, warn everyone not to dump hundreds into ad-campaigns, no matter how much of a 'deal' it's advertised to be. Start at the lowest priced packages and if they build success, then move up through the amounts. Ending up in the negatives because you think more is better is a common pitfall. Stick with something budget-friendly when starting out. This is advice I see consistently and something to definitely consider if you're on a low budget.

Why You Shouldn't Listen to Anyone Who Says They Know What's Best For You

Most people know that one of my favorite sayings is "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Good intentions were especially damning for me since I grew up with a very naive, honest and curious nature, one that needed a lot of tempering to keep people from taking advantage. It's not perfect, of course. Most people who try to manipulate or talk down to me, though, exhaust me into retreating. It's rarely turned into a need for confrontation. Fortunately, as an adult, sticking to my guns has managed to get a lot of people off of my back. I understand what it's like to be young and discouraged by those well-meaning people who think they can tell you how to live a good life and imply that your choices are all flawed.

Unfortunately, even the most critical, cunning and practical people can fall prey to the social structures that condition us to trust family or even those who claim to love us most. There are just some people so disturbingly versed in gas lighting, manipulation, and guilt trips, that the abuse eventually digs deep. However, some of us also learn the hard truths of why unconditional love is dangerous. The concept itself relies on putting your happiness in someone else's hands. We're sometimes taught that it's virtuous and not to question that purity.  It only reveals how broken we are, right? Yet, being a good and useful person is not about constant sacrifice from yourself to build up someone who practices the same selfishness that they scold you for. Being a good and useful person is a definition you come by through introspection, the individual self, and mostly because this is the person you have to face when all of the well-meaning ones have left you with the pieces.

I've spoken of the intricacies of morals before but it embodies the same idea here. In fantasy and reality alike, you see many well-meaning people who are the villains. Sometimes they have intelligent ideas or at least lofty ones, but ultimately the damage they do to others far outweighs any claim as to their own virtue. People who seek to make you out to be the villain are often just willing to completely overlook your good qualities and contributions in favor of their own narrative. Is it really a good idea to entrust your own opinions of yourself and your world to such fragile whims?

On a personal level, I often run into people who assume a lot about me based on very little. On a good and evil scale, I'm admittedly pretty balanced. I can admit where my choices were not my best (okay, pretty shitty and usually due to impulse or haste) and where they did a lot of good. People will even weigh the same action, but cast a different light on it depending on their mood. Good mood? I'm taking care of my family. Bad mood? I'm taking advantage. They aren't wrong. Advantage is taken, but let's be clear-- that is mutual. I am taken advantage of as well, but that is the way of compromise. That neither actual party is bitter or abused by the circumstances ultimately means that the outside observer is stirring shit into a perfectly ordinary stew.

There are many scales that you shouldn't ignore in favor of the others either. There is a scale for how you treat yourself. There is a scale for everyone else. Now, the many scales can get pretty complex once you start realizing that you weigh some things together that should also be weighed separately to remove certain biases, but... you must also protect certain biases. (Why do we protect them? Because biases are where we draw caution from the damage of our own experiences. They should always be weighed but with a grain of salt, not as the main measure.)

The problem with good intentions is that they measure only how someone, often temporarily, feels or thinks. Without knowledge of your experience or mental fortitude, they make dangerous assumptions about your happiness that could in turn make those who care about you miserable. However, if your misery comes back on them, it's just as likely that they will find some fault in you rather than their own bad advice. You must not have done it right or you didn't want it enough. Be wary of those who are quick to blame you this way. For that matter...

This is why it's my personal policy to make decisions where I have no one to blame but myself. I refuse to burden someone with the results of their own bad advice. They can go ahead and wonder, or even be sure that my life would be better if I had listened, but I will continue to be accountable for choices I make. If their advice aligns with my plans, I'll gladly tell them I was thinking the same and if they add any insight, I'll thank them for that. However, pushy advice that shows no understanding or consideration for my ideals is often politely rebutted. "I appreciate the concern but I will do what I think is best for me." It's not my problem if they feel this reply is selfish. Knowing from experience that self-care is best for my loved ones as well, I don't take it to heart when I'm accused of being cold. It's a shame only because they don't know how warm and kind I really am to those who don't back me into a corner. For the people I need to be strong for (myself included), I come through. It is not my responsibility, nor is it yours, to be universally compassionate at the expense of your own community. If you are in a position to be more broadly compassionate, by all means, take it. However, another favorite proverb of mine is "beware the naked man who offers you a shirt." Those who give up what they need themselves often expect you to do the same with whatever they desire... and you might not be able to easily part with.

No one knows what is best for you, and part of wisdom is admitting that you don't always know either. However, sometimes you just have to go with your gut. I've had a lot of experience with people that will look at a blue sky and try to tell you it's pink. And no, not because they're colorblind but because they want you to doubt what your reality is. It's not always well-meaning but it doesn't have to cripple you either. I've learned a lot through abuse and while I'd never thank the abusers, I'm certainly grateful that I could turn shit to gold. I like to think, in some way, that surviving my experiences might prevent a suicide, even save someone who will go on to do amazing things. I'm a fan of blind charity, where I don't need affirmation of the good I do-- just the possibility that my efforts may pay off somewhere.

It's okay if people walk away when you hold your ground. They're doing what they think is best for them. Don't let those people cast doubt on you or make you bitter. There will be other opportunities to meet the right supportive people when there's not a hanging crowd of negatives blocking them out. This is why I have a hard time truly believing people are good or bad as well. People can be good or bad for you, and it's even possible that they can be good or bad for mostly everyone, yet it still is essentially an observation. Either way, sticking around on the belief that you can make them 'better' on virtue of your own understanding... it doesn't happen outside of fiction and even that sort of fiction normally falls flat. Let people go who stray too far from where you're going. You're going to have single friends that don't want to be friends with a mom. There's nothing wrong with them or you-- what's worse is developing the attitude that you're the better person on either side of that fence.

Once more, it goes back to you doing you. By virtue of action, you can be the sort of person that balances out those scales. You can be the person you need to be for you and your loved ones and beyond that. However, you, your loved ones, and the world will not be unconditionally your ally. Get out of your own way sometimes. Sit this one out when you need to. There will be times when you need someone and times where you really just need to learn how to be with yourself.

Try to become an expert on you. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy taking compliments or even hearing out bad advice. I've often let people talk when I notice it's less about me and more about the regrets for choices they've made. Sometimes, my dad gets frustrated with something in his life and tries to make it about me, but these are always the times when I take a deep breath and remind him that whatever is bothering him, it sounds like he could use an ally more than another person angry at him. If he wants to vent, I'm all ears, but--don't be someone's doormat, punching bag, scapegoat. Ever. Especially not if you love that person. The best thing you can do sometimes is walk away. Sometimes just for a few minutes. It doesn't always have to be out of their life. However, if that's what it takes to heal, take those steps.

I wouldn't talk to my mom for three years after a lifetime of letting her hurt me. In those three years, we missed each other. She thought about why I was hurt and when I finally decided I could voice those grievances, we found a relationship of trust and honesty and respect. If I had stayed, she might never have regretted what she'd done because my presence would have always falsely reassured her that it was okay.

You can't take any of my experiences and expect the same results, but at the same time, you might find a new way to see how it works in your life. That's what truly matters. Should I say it again?

You, and only you, know what's best for you.

Land of Babble

I thought of a couple of points worth exploring so I'm gonna roll with it...

One thing is certain-- advice is everywhere and it's conflicting. For every writer that insists on a way of doing things, another will tear it apart. That's really the beauty of it. To be challenged, to defend your points, to be open to considering a new way of making your stories work. So what else is interesting to the writer's struggle to improve?

You Don't Have to Publish Everything You Write

This one stunned me a bit of only because I had tons of diaries and sketchbooks and notebooks full of things never shared. Some burned so no one could ever suffer it's mediocrity. I suppose the idea that all of it is worth sharing probably comes to younger people who grew up posting every garbage thought on social media. I wouldn't say discretion is simply for sake of your brand since variation and dedication isn't a bad thing. However, if you're a new writer and you're publishing everything to market without being edited and considered many times over, you could end up infamous for low-quality hurried work.

There are plenty of unofficial outlets for writing. Flirt with fanfic, do Twitter writing prompts, keep a notebook or journal handy. Writers are taken more seriously if they show value in the output. Even if you do officially publish most of what you write, tuck some quality practice sprints in there, something that aims for trying something new or improving a weakness. At least in the beginning, you might have an ego that vastly outweighs the quality. You will get a better sense of what really shows off your best work over time.

Reading Vs. Studying

Not the first time I've mentioned this but I've never really taken to the idea that writers should be voracious readers. I've said before that I was a voracious reader as a kid but this was difficult to keep up into adulthood. I was raising two young boys with social and trust issues (and though they still exist, I'm very proud of how they've blossomed over the years). Free time was when I got to sleep for many years there. When I was finally able to return to writing and drawing, I was stunned by how much I seemed to grow as a non-practicing artist and writer. 

Another article I stumbled on pointed to something that may be much more important: the studious creative. Rather than just reading novels, I had stolen moments where I researched something I was curious about, played a great video game for a little while or watched a YouTube video. I found that those bursts of concentration and even the inevitable interruptions were a crash course in discipline when it came to focusing in a flash. While I'd too often have to drop novels I lost my place on eventually, I found there were niches where I was developing without actual practice.

Keep in mind, I've also had a lifelong fascination with grammar and spelling and a natural talent for drawing (even with an unsteady hand) and color differentiation. It wasn't like I was just okay and suddenly I was brilliant. What it does mean is that those things, to me, fall under the category of remembering how to ride a bike in the actual way that relearning to ride a bike actually isn't. 

Getting on a bike after never having done it for 5+ years proves that is a lie. I had zero muscle memory left. Same with roller skating. Total Bambi moment there...

I know I'll say again and again that, if you don't know it well now, you will eventually realize that too many people will use deceptive wording to convince you that you can be successful if you just do this or that. Yet I've seen many new writers come from a place of arrogance then disappear when their debut was a bust. If you survive the letdown again and again, what happens is your stories tend to mature. Not necessarily in subject matter-- you just start to exercise more consideration and caution. If it didn't defeat you, you might become more critical of the work and dig deeper.

It's a bumpy road and all that. Lotta writers that gave up, making for some pretty gruesome speed bumps. For me, it's a cue to slow down and reevaluate. Hopefully, you're one of the enduring ones too.

From Shallow to Deep

Now, this is going to be a very general bit of advice, if only because there are some methods I've learned along the way work rather well in many ways, but we're not always conscious of how simple it can be to access it.

Blurbs, hooks, basic ideas-- they all have one particular common thread and that's the fact that are deeper than you think as long as you chain them right.

Ideally, we would all hook readers with as little telling information as possible, but sometimes, we just have to dangle a juicy spoiler to stand any chance of doing so. It's always been this way, but there might have been a time where you didn't set out to be an author where you probably selected at least a book or two based on some curiosity sparked with a back-cover blurb.

Maybe you've wanted to be an author for so long that you overlooked how much of a draw that is for some readers. I certainly follow the sentiment that a blind read can be the best experience, but this is also a time where fiction is so full of choice that we can't ignore that people will often skip over our work based on what we don't do to market it, so it may be worth it to cover all the bases.

The first time I wrote a blurb, I didn't even want to give away names. Or plots. It felt like everything was taking away from the grand ideas I'd protected for some big reveal. Yet over time, I would look at that blurb and think, well, there was nothing about it that made me care so why should anyone else? 

If anything, you need to mention at least one character by name or occupation (I have to make an exception here because UnNamed had no named characters at first). Tell the reader what the character wants (or think they want) more than anything. The way your readers may connect can come from many directions-- maybe they relate or don't and want to learn, maybe it enhances the kind of mood they're in, maybe it's just well-written enough that they're willing to take a chance. While you might be able to get away with it, there's often no connection with a vague or generic reference to the 'hero' nor their catch-all purpose of saving the world. Don't be afraid to mention those, but still give it a spin that lets the reader know there's depth. For example, the reader should at least know that the billionaire playboy Tidus is thrust into a world where his charms are useless and those idle fencing lessons in prep school are no match for a full-armored knight with a great sword who is in no mood for his crap.

I get that you probably want any evolution of this 'annoying' character to be a total surprise, but if you ever gain any popularity, people are going to happily spoil everything on social media the minute they read it anyway. Instead, you have to understand that no matter how specific you are with the frame of your story, the part of your skills that make them want to read will only be satisfied in the meat of your story. You can still hide your juiciest twists and plots, but give away some of those early bits in order to entice them into a sense of something different.

Really, how many times in life did you simply trust someone that something works or it's good, only to feel cheated when it's anything but? You may think that someone can take a few dollar gamble, but there are plenty of readers that frequent libraries or borrow from friends because what little they can spend is something they want to reserve for some guarantee that it won't be a wasted investment. Some people would just rather fill their shelves with hard cover masterpieces or their digital libraries with quality choices, so simply insisting it will be worth it and guarding it too carefully will probably not work in your favor.

Start always by answering the simplest questions with any idea. Who is the main character? What do they want? What stands in their way of getting it? What are they going to do about it? Those may not be the exact questions that drive your blurb, but don't get too complex at first. My own best ideas often came from shallow and deep passes, alternating them alike. 

With the Tidus example, I gave you who he is in the beginning, the problem he faces (his own useless skills in another situation), and the antagonist that stands in his way. However, it can grow from there.

Really, since you are the expert, this is where playing can be fun. As the writer, you already know that the mysterious beauty that sends Tidus up against a world he doesn't fit in that the so-called woman is actually the sword-wielding knight and not a woman at all. From there, you can even make it more interesting by asserting for the knight why he's moonlighting as a woman. Perhaps he is undercover, looking for his sister, and it's an extreme annoyance that he has a lovesick man bungling things for him. This is also the best place to assert a niche that may draw an audience or repel the ones who wouldn't like it. The protagonist and antagonist, drawn together time and again, develop romantic feelings for each other. Perhaps in this case, Tidus's feelings don't change when he discovers the woman in biologically male and seeing him masculine might only at first be a point of contention. Not everyone is going to enjoy a story where men are lovers and that's fine. Thinking you can write enough up to that point to make them forgive it just isn't realistic.

Sexuality is a place where people have preferences. Pansexual utopias are... eh, sorry, guys, doesn't sound very open-minded, just boring. There's great debate as to whether people should disclose their sex/sexuality when courting someone they're attracted to (and to weigh in-- yes, you should disclose that because deceiving or withholding a preference that may be important to their identity shouldn't be denied so the pursuer can protect only their own interests. You can't assume love will conquer all. It's fucking absurd). In books, well, it's your call. You may want that to be left to discovery. Ultimately, free speech is something I protect and that includes the right to decide whether or not to use trigger warnings. Although if written words can trigger someone that much, I'm also of a mind to say that reading isn't a risk they should take. In my own experience, facing my fears is an important part of life and hiding from them never did me any good. Guarantees are just not literature's friend either. It's one of those products where even if it doesn't work for me, it's due to taste not malfunction. I can't be mad if I take the risk and it doesn't pan out. Heh, pan...

lol Super late trigger warning: I do tackle homosexuality at least briefly in my second trilogy. True to life, I just happen to have characters that go there. In all honesty, I hadn't planned it that way, but I ran with it. I do try not to 'sneak' that sort of thing into later books. Sometimes you just don't want people homing in on it like it's a prevalent focus, other times, you want it to be a selling point. Some people want to skip past all sexual scenes, some people won't touch a book that even has them. To each their own, but I never wanted to place emphasis on the short sexual encounters in my fantasy stories. They served their purpose which was never central to the plot, just the character development.

Yeah, yeah, I'm swerving off the track but what separates shallow and deep isn't really measurable. I made plenty of mistakes with it because I was unsure and I never wanted the answer to be easy. I became a writer to fill a personal need, but I became an author to learn how to share it. It's not the end of the world if you fumble a bit. Just try not to end up seeming vapid or coy or too protective by being too vague. If you've ever queried, you're close to what it takes to write a decent blurb. For a query, the agent wants to know your story beginning to end in as few words as possible. Take that spoiler filled beauty and reduce it to a general concept. It's going to look... vague. Take the vague words like 'hero' or 'a kingdom' and pop in the names. Usually, the first two sentences of your query contain a great introduction. You may want to delve into later events and even pose them as a question to entice the reader. When the ground shakes and the Black Serpents arise, will Tidus be able to face the one who betrayed him among their ranks?

Maybe said Black Serpents were supposed to be a surprise. Maybe they still are, to someone who isn't you. Throw out their aim in some form even. Maybe they're a secret society of orphans who hate people who have parents. There's probably a lot more to it than that, but it's curious enough that a reader might wonder why.

Giving something of value for free is often where the author starts to draw people in. Though this advice usually applies to things like bookmarks or giveaways, giving someone enough details to make the work irresistible can be just as important.

One of these days, I'm taking that advice for myself. The sad fact is that just accomplishing hard work isn't immediately useful. As an author, I may have to gamble and pay out a lot of money for the mere hope of a return. I knew what I signed up for. I also know where I'm at, so I'm at peace with my situation. Either way, it might be worth it to wait to publish until you're ready to plug into marketing and spending. If you're a lone ranger who just wants to write, well... you can't expect a miracle. DO what you can and enjoy it for what it's worth!

Make Your Story an Onion

No, not indecipherable satire or a tearjerker, although your story might benefit from those too. This time, I'm talking layers. Layers and layers and layers of delicious plot building.

Building those Easter eggs isn't something most people can do effortlessly. Sometimes you have a juicy joke, an unfolding revelation, but the actual art of tucking away those gems of continuing stories can be a tough feat to pull off.

It can also be a clever way to act like you meant to do something that you originally kind of just threw in there. 

Here goes my attempt to help you find those hidden gems and run with it!

The Recurring Minor Character (The Minor Resolution)

Let's make this a comedic example. You've got your main characters in some multilevel hideout and they hear the noise of some guards coming along so they wait it out and end up picking up the end of a really lame conversation.

"It wasn't a dragon, you moron, it was a horse."

"You think I don't know the difference between a dragon and a horse?"

"I think you wouldn't know your mother's mouth from a dog's anus."

"And I'm telling you it was a dragon!"

And you never see them again. Right? While at the time, that moment might have been comedic relief or even a hostage situation for the unfortunate MCs, it may be worth filing for later.

There are many ways you can go with this, but maybe a dragon bursts into the sky and the guy is elbowing his agape friend and proudly confirming he saw a dragon... Or he's just a drunk trying to steal an MC's horse while calling it a dragon (and talking to its hind end at that).

It's a silly example, but if you find that the world starts to feel too sparse, introducing a crowd element through minor facts can be a great way to reward the reader for paying attention.

The Insignificant Object

I believe I actually used an apple as an example in a previous post, but I'll go ahead and play that out again. At one point, you might have a character who seems fixated on a piece of fruit. It probably seems like a frivolous detail and when asked, they might even make an offhand remark that they didn't know apples grew here.

Even if that detail seemed annoying at the time, somewhere down the line, there comes an emotional moment. At first, it starts off a light flashback, maybe that the MC hates apples, but they're there with their sibling, who we know little about but know died young. The MC is annoyed that their sibling loves apples and glares at them. The sibling pretends not to notice and begins to tell a story about how apple trees mourn the people that love them. Some soldiers come and try to take the MC but the sibling throws an apple and the MC gets free. The sibling dies but the MC gets away.

This can go on as long as you like. Apples may take on a significance where they never had one in any of the first instances they are mentioned. After the flashback, the MC may be traveling a familiar road, realizing it is the one where their sibling died. The apple tree is there but it's dead-- well, all except for one oddly ripe apple. Do they eat it and die? Who knows, but you also don't need to confine it to main characters. Maybe one time the apple foreshadows a pivotal scene. Maybe it's a comedic break.

The only important thing to remember is that giving something increasing significance also means you have to close that subplot. If you only have two instances, it usually doesn't create an anticipation plot. Yet if you create a build, you better damn well finish it.

The Clue

I've used this one quite a bit and it can be tricky to pull off without immediately tipping off the reader. After a while, even the most oblivious reader will start to smell it right away. It's important that when you introduce some hint as to a character or object's true nature that you also plant a seed of doubt and even lead a reader's suspicions towards the occasional red herring. You don't want everything to fall so neatly that they immediately anticipate it. Yet there is a sense of reward when they are able to guess something correctly. Not everything has to be a twist.

Sometimes it's what you aren't showing that later becomes the clue. I believe, in The Game of Thrones books, GRRM purposely omits the color of some characters' eyes because it would be a dead giveaway. (The Targaryens, for one, are known for their stunning violet eyes.) Yet the clues you drop are sometimes cryptic and sometimes the characters will even suspect something alongside you. However, it could be narration purposely meant to mislead you.

Certain smells, sounds or even moods can sometimes herald the presence of something familiar, a sort of hidden flag to tell you to look closely, but not be too trusting. I've found more often than not, that observations aren't usually set because the narrator thinks you're too stupid to figure it out. They set them up to weave in some threads that may tangle later.

-----

I kind of built up from simple to complex but an Easter egg can be light and fluffy or deep and murky, popping up to draw your interest or exploding with a revelation. Fitting them into your story is often something you'll probably feel better than you can ever plan. Like candy-filled eggs, they can suddenly stimulate a lull or force the reader to focus more closely.

Creating layers in your story is largely guided by the little details. More often than not, no matter how much you plan, you'll probably find the meatiest bits by grabbing the best opportunities for change. Don't be so married to any idea that it kills your story. So often, people never finish that novel they keep bringing up because they keep cutting straight through the plots. You don't want to maul your layers to dust with too much exposition or purple prose, but when you fixate too much on reaching the plot points, you'll often overlook those little pockets that keep your ideas worth peeling back.

Try a 20 step story of a classic. Rewrite a simple fable like the tortoise and the hare but make sure at least 20 things happen from start to finish. Don't be married to the idea of a race or that they have to be animals at all. Make it a lazy overconfident assassin and a man racing home through a storm to save his wife. See if you can tie in any of those ideas to create hints or Easter eggs. You don't even need to write a formal story for this exercise. The main idea is just to absorb yourself in a mental chain where changes start to take on organic or exciting turns.

As always, your best teacher is trial and error. You don't have to write a certain word count each day to be prolific. I've had great writing days where I simply fixated on how I would relate a conversation I overheard to make the details most interesting or chained together ideas for my books. You don't need to formally commit words to your drafts to develop skills beneficial to writing.

Some writers do benefit from certain disciplines. NaNoWriMo is one of those events where you can use the momentum to push yourself further into habits. You might have tried something before but gave up easily then. In an atmosphere where people are feeding each other's goals, it may take you further.

As an artist, I absolutely loathed having to learn vector drawing but it was a requirement in college. Outside of that environment, I might never have embraced and even enjoyed it.

Story building, especially of a complex nature, isn't only something you should try once you feel you can succeed. It's often this odd perception of skill levels that keeps a writer from valuable learning opportunities. Yes, effective writing is difficult. But why throw red tape at a challenge as if you're not good enough to try it at any time? Aim high, fuck it up, put it away for later. Those fearless attempts make a difference and someday you might find where they fit.

Be Thankful, But Not Too Thankful

Thankful? Sounds like a great topic to cover for Thanksgiving!

The number of sales you get will rarely ever add up to the amount of people who actually buy it. This was something I came to realize well before I became a published author. In the past I would endlessly gush, give them that feel good response before they'd actually follow through. Yet it would be a response unequal to the actual follow-through and my sales records, humble as they are, always pointed to the reality. They'd gotten their cookie then skipped out.

Over time, I've learned the best way to prompt a follow-through was to deliver a pitch anyway. Let them know how enthusiastic I am about their interest and my work, then ask them to post a public pic to help promote if they do. In that way, I could keep my enthusiasm up regardless of the follow-through and not cringe when it didn't happen. Rather than get my hopes up, I learned to just use it as an opportunity to promote myself and interact, which was how I balanced out the reward system.

Talking about marketing can make my skin crawl. It's a lot about underhanded maneuvers that I just never got comfortable with. Promotion has to have an element of real connection for me or I arouse too much suspicion about whether my work is worth it. That's something I know better than to discuss, something as personal as someone asking me how much money I make. When you display any doubt, you give people room to haggle and bully you out of honest work. I've had people try to ask me to make a complex crocheted piece for less than the cost of the yarn. I've had people who never bought my work message me just to say I was charging too much in-game money (currency you get free just for logging in, at that) for a style they don't like. It's part for the course, but rather than take the bait, I wish them luck and politely encourage them to look elsewhere. I won't undercut myself or another creative by devaluing what I do and neither should you! If your work is worth it to someone, rejoice! If it isn't, put it behind you. Chances are, your work is demanding enough as is and trying to change to please everyone will weaken your work until the quality itself degrades.

Sometimes, a bit of negativity can lead you on a gem hunt you haven't considered. Your outright trolls can unknowingly lead you to something you hadn't considered. Creatives are problem solvers first and foremost so a snide remark can be worth consideration, even if it's in the opposite direction. I didn't start imitating the Dragon Ball Z artwork one person grumbled about wanting, but I did consider adding more variation to my style (although it leaned on realism more than shonen anime). On occasion, I'll even ask someone to throw a challenge at me, something they haven't seen from me (for the record, I did do Toriyama style artwork in high school. It was short-lived because it wasn't what held my interest). Don't automatically take a bitter pill with even outright venom. Throw a little sugar on it and leave 'em salty!

Being grateful if not polite is always where my range tends to sit. However, I WILL gush endlessly when my supporters come through. Erika, one of my dearest friends, always lets me know when she has my next book on the way. Emily, one of my oldest friends, even when she's strapped for cash, she'll ask for my books for her birthday or Christmas from her family. My dad usually gets a copy both for himself and me. Debbie is not only a dear friend but a longtime supporter of my art, even a patron through Patreon! She not only buys my books, she also bought me a congratulations on being published gift, a USB key I keep all of my files on to wear as a necklace. My aunt bought at least the first book and one of mom's old school mates, Bob Halloran, bought the first two for his niece. 

I also know these are it for the print sales, but I track and remember all of the people who come through while I struggle to be taken seriously. These are the people I've wholeheartedly thanked for coming through. I also have friends who share my sales links or allow me to post on their channel. It doesn't matter that they haven't made my work explode; it only matters that they care enough to show some support.

Thanking people when they come through is very important to me. Otherwise, I briefly thank people for their interest or support anyway. I have zero reviews but that's okay too. I don't drain my resources on chasing them down, just focus on my work and the ones who give me a chance. I'm working towards the next big milestone-- completing my adult epic fantasy UnQuadrilogy. I have more ideas lined up. My idea of celebrating is usually jumping right into the next goal. The when of that is in the air since I follow the ideas. 

However you choose to accept your victories, water down what could be a defeat. Humility doesn't mean sinking into depression. The idea of letting someone break me down only angers me these days. No one gets that power. External gratification can be amazing, but keep a reserve of self-empowerment on the ready. In most cases, your detractors don't have the courage you do. Yet even if a famous author tears you to shreds, it's actually never a better reason to stick with it. Hell, run with it! 'Read the book (famous author) said makes them choose to eat cat shit on a dare rather than read it!'

Have any stories to share of how you overcame negative critics? I'm interested!

The Unread Writer

Maybe two people read my work that I know of for sure. When I give it away free, I might get six new downloads but no reviews. It's the sort of response that probably doesn't encourage new writers to go for it, but I don't think it's pathetic to admit it.

When you choose to go against the grain, the chance of even amazing work being noticed is really slim. The chances of your friends and family gushing about it is even less. I'm not going to tell you that I'm bitter or defeated because doing it was never dependent on how or when it is received. I'm not immune to it, but it doesn't have enough pull to keep me down either.

I don't have a newsletter, mainly because I know author newsletters usually end up sent straight to spam. I read for other people but never ask them to read my work. I mostly just lose track of time in the excitement of creative pursuits, rarely talking about it but always thinking about it. I don't put any money into it, just time. I don't want to outsource when it's important for me to depend on myself to learn what I know I'm capable of. I add writers to my social media but sometimes I hide them for a while. When I feel the bite of envy, I don't dare shit on their happiness so I walk away and work on myself. I don't get ads or push them aggressively or compare them to Twilight or Lord of the Rings or try to convince people they're the next big thing.

You won't really get a good sense of my voice from my blog that will lead you to know my work in fiction. Unlike most authors, my first books are often not full of my best ideas since I love the slow build, the Easter eggs, the inner dialogue... I'm a lot more focused as a novelist too, where my blogs are often just dumping grounds for thought before I tackle my discipline. I do want people to read my work but I'm not up to lying if they ask if they'll like it. I might say 'maybe' or 'I don't know' because I have no clue who my audience is. I've seen my books pirated and listed as erotic romance as I feared they would. It's a risk anytime a woman writes a sex scene, even non-consensual. There's still the stigma that men can't possibly care to read any intimate thoughts that women might have. Eh, maybe they don't-- it's still juvenile to suggest that they need a trigger warning in the form of mis-categorizing an author into a genre they don't stand a chance in because it's a women's category they won't accidentally read.

I read a lot of articles on the craft of writing and it doesn't really shed any light on what I do. Really, only the 'fantasy' part is central to my work. I intertwine mystery, horror, suspense, humor, eroticism, etc. on a whim and just slap Adult on it to be safe. All the while, I focus on how I can drive people to look at the plot. Or look at it all. As pathetic as it sounds, I've prepared myself to be invisible for the next ten years or more. Because that is still optimistic in a field where most people never make it. Then again, most people give up.

Will passion someday not be enough? It's possible. However, if you read my blog, you know that I annihilated everything that meant anything to me for years. I quit writing, I quit drawing, I quit listening to music... I didn't get it back on a whim. There was school, then I took up crochet again. I started drawing ideas that I wanted to crochet and writing back stories for dolls I wanted to make. It wasn't a decision to do what I loved or to make anything of it-- it was organic and a sign that it was important to me on a deeper level than how I could monetize it. Yet I learned a lesson about placing value on your work. No one will value it if you don't give it a value. (And this still stands if they aren't buying it either!)

It's possible that I'm even afraid of focusing on that aspect and losing the magic once more.  I refuse to work for passion alone. People who give away their work are often smug about it, but they have a stable job that pays the bills or are being provided for by someone who does. It never comes off as passionate or charitable, especially to other creatives, who struggle to convince people that their art does have value and people can't expect it to be free. I've been through these points before, but there's a balance that is important to find here-- somewhere between market value and passion, I truly just want to stay in a place where the desire to create never fades. Yes, money is one of the carrots on the end of the stick. Validation is wonderful too. As long as the ideas keep coming, I want to respect them and feed them and never pretend that any of it isn't important.

The 50K part of NaNo doesn't matter to me. I've done 80-100K in a month, more if you factor in blogs, shorts and jotting down ideas. I want to see the enthusiasm of people chasing their ideas, the trepidation, the sense of purpose. Chasing numbers can cause detrimental anxiety. Been there done that with numbers on the scale. I'm physically in better shape than most people my age, aside from the chronic pain and digestive issues. I'm at peace with being overweight because I know it's the way my body maintains itself. I treat my mental needs the same way. If I need to write, I write. If I need to draw, I draw. What needs to be done will get done when I am ready. 

And probably in a way that few are doing it. One of the reasons I give advice is because it is important that writers have options. When we cycle through all of what is supposed to lead to success and nothing takes, we need to know that the good and bad is that nothing has changed and, damn it, just keep going!

I know that for some, there's a window on the dream. In fact, I fear it too. Life has a way of changing where you are and sometimes other priorities shut you down. Even so, you can't act on urgency or you create unnecessary stress and your work suffers for it. Try to make your time focus on quality. You don't have to be a fast writer. I know how badly we all want to get the work done, how all of the stages can only create more wistfulness to see it to completion. Even so, stop looking at other people's word counts. The high ones often denote a good day and they might disappear into a funk and not be able to or have time to write at all. You might only be able to pump out a thousand words a day, but you're in pace with the person who pounds out 8K one day then doesn't write for a week. Your consistent pace probably also saves you time because you probably don't need to reread from being away too long. You probably also researched more or considered ideas or spent more time with family or went on walks. You might be exactly where you are most effective, so don't kill that with comparisons.

As for being an 'unread writer', I hope I can look back on it and laugh shakily someday. That someday the passion and work will earn a matching response. However, in order to stand a chance of enjoying it, the work must continue. I need to test my ideas and improve myself. That never ends for a creative. There will never be a point where I feel there is nothing left to do or learn. Any attempt at 'relaxing' away from it was hell.

I'm at peace with my path. I'll continue to forge ahead.

In the Land of Prompts

I'm normally not big on prompts. I'm still on the fence as to whether I'll do Inktober next year, if only because the prompt thing is just not my favorite. My high school days were filled with other kids getting me into trouble by whispering to me asking if I could draw any number of things I wasn't drawing. Cars, ships, planes, dinosaurs... Even thought I know Inktober gives you so much room to play with the word of the day, I still feel that twinge of annoyance I need to get over that now sounds like 'hey, can you draw a tattoo of a bear, eating a bear, eating a bear that's eating Goldilocks?' While I'm sure that it would turn out pretty cool, it would be hard for me to work up the desire to do it. Even if I love you, I don't always have full control of my motivational focus and enthusiasm to finish.

However, it might be partly to do with presentation or just people coming up with prompts that sound like bad Mad-Libs. Not every original idea needs to be done and some are avoided for a good reason. In high school, I might have joyfully taken the writing challenge of: write a story where a ghost obsessed with knitting haunts a mafia boss until it gets to see a kangaroo for the first time. It would have sucked, but if you told me it couldn't be done well, I'd try to prove you wrong. Hell, my teenage ego would even have insisted you were full of shit if you didn't like it.

Okay, the ego might be better managed, but let's face it-- the writers that last are STILL the ones that write even when people tell them they suck.

One challenge I have been taking up are the Young Reader's prompts that come with my word count badges. I pop open my tablet and pound out stories that... well, I may publish them on my blog later, but they aren't part of my book at all. One involved pretending I was my character writing a farewell letter to the author (actually me). It's a huge spoiler if you haven't read the book (don't worry; no one has-- UnSung hasn't come out yet and UnHeard will take another year after that to write and clean up) so... I wouldn't be able to post it for quite some time anyway, but even the second (include an awkward dinner scene) doesn't actually fit into the theme, but was still fun to think up (oddly, I did just write a dinner scene prior to the email, but 'awkward' would have killed the intent).

Perhaps it's because it was presented with a milestone (congratulations for reaching 40K words!) that somehow made it feel like an extension of the reward. I'd pulled out my tablet and hammered it out and I usually loathe typing on my tablet.

Not that I expect every part of writing to come with some little trophy, but self-rewarding is often a motivational tool for creatives. You allow yourself that sinfully fattening favorite coffee or nibble on chocolate or buy yourself a reaffirming treat like a nameplate that says "Krista Gossett, Author." I haven't done that yet but you shouldn't either. It would be really weird if you keep my name on your desk.

It can be difficult to come up with simple but motivational prompts. Writers already know that day-to-day motivation changes with the wind and even great prompts aren't something most of us care to keep up with. Unless it's really doing something for you, then don't force it. As with all things writerly. you're not guaranteed to force your muse to work. Being prolific for most people often requires assloads of time and even if you're not working with said assloads of time, it can be a chore to even get out a couple thousand words towards any main writing project.

Of course, prompts, short stories, challenges-- all of them could have unique palate cleansing properties. As a rule, I never sink into a writer's block mentality unless I've tried all I could to dig myself out. For me, I usually know ten minutes into doing anything if I'm going to warm up to it. If I'm not, I walk away, even if it's a ten minute break before I change tact. Muses can be divas/divos (or is that divx? Nah, that's a file format already...), but you can sometimes warm up to a task by changing how you approach it. 

Maybe you only have an hour that you were hoping to turn into a word sprint. If after 40 minutes, you manage to find your flow, then treasure the 20 minutes you get. Beating yourself up over the struggle to get there is pointless, so crumble up the thought and pitch it in the wastebasket. 

Open File in Word, select New, name it Useless Thoughts, save as docx or rtf, throw it in the desktop wastebasket and enjoy that lovely crinkle sound. The more effort you put into being a smart-ass with a sense of humor, the more chance you'll recover from your own misplaced disappointment.

I'm going to assume that you're awesome because you're reading my blog. I'm also going to assume you're not superhuman and make a lot of stupid mistakes. You're going to be your own worst critic at times and sometimes, to your detriment, your biggest fan. Being critical is always where you'll grow.

So, don't rule out prompts, buuuuut also don't rely on them. Even if you're sure of everything else-- what genre you want to write, the overflow of ideas, your unblocked mind, how many fingers I'm holding up-- there's always room to improve as an artist.

Plus, no one ever wants to hear that your craft bores you because you're so ahead of the game, there's nothing left to learn. Not only do most of those people stop doing the thing they claim to be infallible at so they can't be weighed against their ego, but they're also complaining to whoever didn't unfriend them that everyone who did was jealous.

PSA: No one is really that jealous. In 99.9999% of claims that someone is jealous of them, they're just in denial that they were a total asshole.

That sounds like a prompt though. Write a story where the protagonist is actually jealous of someone. I bet it's harder to pull off believably than you think. It's such a fleeting response, if at all, that I think people mistake it for a grudge. It's impossibly psychopathic in rapid fire...

I'm Telling You-- Nothing Like Flying High!

I joked with a friend last night that if I was really dedicated, I could still make it to 50K by the middle of the month. I really didn't intend to actually sit down for the 10+ hours it would take to do it, but my cold-addled brain was the overworked cheerleader I suspected it might be.

50,309 words down by 11:16 PM. You're damn right I did it.

I'm absolutely chuffed about it, clicking my gods-damned heels and fist-pumping carefully because the sloped ceiling is really not room enough to do it without breaking some knuckles.

Still, I'm thinking about my other writer friends, the ones way ahead of me (yup, there are plenty of those) and the ones way behind. Again with the word count... When I said you can ignore it, it doesn't mean to remove it as a motivational tool. It could convince you to stop, it could convince you to keep going, but it could still be strangling the benefits of developing good habits too.

People burn out. Sometimes this kind of thing might have people so paralyzed that they don't even touch a keyboard until the next NaNo sneaks up and sends them into a state of cold panic. Okay, that may or may not be accurate, but writers come in all kinds.

I'm sticking by the assertion that passion needs discipline. With the good days come the bad. They don't balance out and sometimes there's so many of one that the other seems to have abandoned you completely.

I think my momentum does largely come from the setback. Not so much because I wanted to catch that midway ambition as much as I just COULDN'T write for days and I wanted it so, so badly. It wasn't a mental hurdle. I could even stab the right keys when I was poking for them while lying down with a tablet. Voice dictation probably wouldn't even register my voice as human if I tried. All throughout it, I daydreamed (because sleep was not happening much). I passed out and didn't dream and my mind craved the loss by giving me technicolor thoughts.

Yet I wasn't terrified they'd slip through my fingers. I don't regret the things that slip by. What ends up in my stories is what is meant to be there. If it's meant to come back, it will sprout up elsewhere. I'm so full of these damn things and I don't squander any time lamenting what I haven't done, won't be able to do or am not doing. 

I'm doing. Are you doing? Then get to it. Again or for the first time. Float ya boat.

I'm Back... Sorta

Despite the balloony-headedness of this stage of my cold, I decided to do some minimal writing today, just to break the annoying tedium of Netflix, tissues and the layers of Vaseline it takes to salvage the results from rubbing these tree-shreddings against my face all day.

So why not get to Justina Ireland's Pep Talk from our NaNo mail today?

lol Writing sucks... Already my kind of pep talk! Like many people, after I get over the butthurt of a harsh reality, what motivates me is often the begrudging acceptance that despite how much certain processes can suck, I'm going to do it anyway. And for the sheer fact that I can't stand wondering what something would be like when I could be trying to find out if it can be done.

The message is pretty simple here. You're probably not going to magically feel better at writing, nor will it become a task that gets easier, but you're going to come back as long as the drive remains.

People might tell you that writer's block is just laziness, fear, an excuse to seek attention, lack of ideas (or the confidence to realize them)... Whatever. I've tried to explore what 'writer's block' is and it's mostly a purely mental place and not one that people can easily suss out for you. In most cases, writing sucks because it's not a magic formula you're always eager to chase, that the words sometimes just aren't there when you have the time for them, or in abundance at the worst possible places (afk, yo!).

No one can tell you that you'll finish every story or book or even want to. Everyone is either writing a book, has a book inside them, or lost their way to doing either. Some people will treat it like it's some luxury that will fill in the tedium of retirement (where they imagine it's not work and more along the lines of sipping mai-tais on some beach while typing away on their tablets-- poof! masterpiece!).

Speak to anyone who's actually doing it. What it takes to reach 5K. 10K. 25K. Every few thousand words, it can even be more difficult not less. Shouldn't it be easier the more you establish? Well, no. Some people imagine that they can first draft their way to a great book then throw it into their spell-checker, but the reality is, we often find our best ideas after some retrospect. The cutting room floor isn't just for film-- we also end up throwing around chunks of text with some really amazing insights that we either have to find the perfect place for or come to terms with the fact that we'll have to save a gem for the next story because this just isn't where it goes.

I did plenty of 2-5K essays for college. The structure that instructors look for may seem strict and at times very boring. I was equally guilty of being wordy as hell just to stretch those word counts as far as they would go. I dealt with jaded instructors that took out their literary pet peeves on me (Gods forbid because I used a John Lennon quote one instructor had seen used many times before and always inappropriately-- made for a good debate though on how artists don't expect their lyrics to mean the same thing to everyone and they can still be used 'appropriately' if the words fit the sentiment.) One absolutely flipped their shit if you used the word 'thing', no matter how much it fit the abstract (again, I defended that you don't always want to take away from the more important subjects by using more powerful words for the insignificant).

Let's just say I was not let down by what these challenges did for my writing. I ended up finding a middle ground with all of my teachers, and namely because I got the message early on that as much as an artist must learn to be adaptable, they should also speak up when they want to stand by a choice. I just as often relented where my argument wasn't strong enough-- I reduced color choices or simplified sentences, all in the name of seeing their point of view as well. There wasn't really a 'better' choice, just the attempt to see if I could make it work well for me. 

One teacher asked me why I used the same font on all of my storyboards for a brand design. Even though I varied the color and mood choices of my mood boards, I used the same font repeatedly rather than playing with different ones. I explained that I created the challenge that the client might have insisted on the font in their logo (since we did lock in our brand logos in a previous lesson anyway) and would want to see how well it played into the different images their brand might want to represent. It would give them the confidence to use it more diversely if I could display its versatility. I did however take his suggestion to only use a border I had made on the title pages since I did agree that they seemed to limit the visual of the brand content.

Realizing that balloony-head is making blogging more distracting than usual, I will loop back around and say this absolutely applies to writing as well. Writing IS a lot of mental gymnastics. Even if writing is all you do (or want to do) creatively, you are still wrapping your head around influences (some people are visual or rely on moods from music and so on), trying to carve out an effective story from the cinematic explosion or burgeoning knowledge of a more complex series of ideas. Even simple stories often need more than a light hand. I certainly know writers that whip through typing, yet these are also usually linear and simplistic, what you might call quick and easy reads. Even then, it's still a deceptive title. I'm a fast typist, yet at my fastest pace, 1K/hr is about the best you can expect from me. If I'm typing my absolute fastest creatively, then a standard novel is at LEAST 90 hours of work. In most scenarios, when you throw in planning, editing and finalizing, it's easily 4 times that. With the 200K+ tomes I've committed to these days, it's no wonder that I'm going on nine months of working on my latest book and it's still in drafting/editing stages. Even though I work very efficiently, these aren't stories I want to put out there without being confident in what they are. It takes every bit of time I give to it, no more, no less.

Soooooo, if writing sucks, you're doing it right. Nothing is won without it glaring you in the face. Repeatedly. Until it borders on harassment. I mean, you REALLY have to hate it to the point where you're coming back like a kicked dog. It's not always going to be work. It doesn't reach a point where the nostalgia of being fun is ever a distant thing, a high you will never reach again. You'll always have those revisit, the whimsy of your first time even. And yes, even the awkwardness of it. You'll sit down and forget what words are, wonder if you've lost your mojo, question your sanity. 

And once you get over the highs and lows, you'll remember it doesn't matter all that much. That neither is really all that necessary. You're not going to be the same person every time you sit down, in the same moods with the same confidence. That's the scary and wonderful thing about those introspective spaces. You intimately get to know every uncomfortable and glorious part of yourself. And, if you're lucky, even lose yourself and simply expand into the possibilities that await.

Color Obsession

I'm not starting this one with any attempt at racial integration (and really arguments involving sexualization/food corresponding with skin color are mentally fucking exhausting to me anyway). No, in this case, I want to poke at how color is used in writing. Namely, starting with a gripe-- the need to use a different color word every time someone describes the eyes, bodily fluids, etc.

Why? Because colors aren't really that interchangeable on some levels. While you CAN compare a skin color to caramel and people can easily picture that hue (whether it's favorable or not), you can't as successfully interchange turquoise, aqua, sky blue, cobalt and any damn blue you want. Whyyyyy?

Number one, and probably like you, the audience doesn't know the difference like it is displayed above. Yet, they'll probably notice that you use a different color every time. Even if you think it might be clever to attach those colors to every mood they have, the reader is probably just going to think it annoying or pretentious. Okay, don't really care about that in the long run, but I will say it irks me that writers think this somehow enriches their writing when it doesn't.

I forget who said it and I'm in free-writing mode to warm up to NaNo, but it may have been Ursula Le Guin but it could be Tolkien for all I keep track (again, please don't take my word for it). In essence, the idea is that repetition is not a thing to be strictly avoided. In an earlier post, I covered this with a sub-heading "Sometimes an apple is just an apple" although that was more focused on someone detailing a fruit to try to be creative rather than it being interesting or relevant. Yet still, it tapped on the idea I'm after here with color-- that it's okay to just use the exact word that you mean once again rather than always finding a similar word to avoid repetition. Don't say 'a round object used to make transportation easier' if you mean a wheel. Simplified words are far more indicative of your intelligence and creativity. Trying to use many similar words interchangeably runs the risk of sending even intelligent readers too far off course of vocabulary knowledge.

As for colors, yeah, you can get away with using turquoise and teal to similar effect. However, traditionally, people do picture turquoise to be a darker shade than teal. As you can see, turquoise and aqua even sit in similar shade groups (but sky blue and cobalt are nowhere close).

I'm not saying not to pull out a 'viridian' or 'canary' in your writing, just be maybe aim to be consistent and even scarce. Let lust darken their eyes or happiness lighten them, but don't always feel the need to find the word for that color or mention it at all. It can just be lighter or darker and 'a shade of green' if you must. Although in actuality, that's a bit wordy, maybe that will convince you to be simpler, vaguer, because it's just not that important to the scene. Many writers will insist it IS important but then get frustrated when their readers constantly point out that it was distracting rather than helpful.

Moving onto blood... yes, it can have meaning in the shade as well. Thin blood is brighter than thick or coagulated blood. Dried blood is brown. However, fresh, coagulated, and dried are all powerful enough words without the ruby, crimson or brown attachments. In cases where the wounded doesn't realize it's blood at all, their perception of shock accompanied by it being warm, sticky or reddish before the realization of pain or property sets in can work to invite the reader to realize it before they do. Being too coy about 'ruby droplets' can infantilize an otherwise powerful scene rather than add mystery. Yet the pulse-born steady gush of a deep wound can add the right effect. Rather than be married to the stream of colorful words, you will still find depth and purpose in the words you more carefully select.

Again, let's refer back to 'killing your darlings.' Sometimes that inspired outpouring of prose will need to be butchered down to simpler elements to consider pace, structure and plot more. There is a reason you find more blog posts concerning those things rather than creative writing. Most creatives come by the minute details naturally, but the experienced writer will cut these down on the revision. Being married to words can be a bitter relationship that muddies the story. One hard rule that is still flexible is that the story comes first. You don't need to bury your voice, but don't let it trump your story either.

In the interest of detail, one way to make repetition less cumbersome is in the presentation of the sentences supporting it. I tend to have a love for towering spires and I also love that the word is exactly the right one. Yet when I speak of their features at times, I'll play instead with the adjectives-- make them catch the sunlight or glitter from the stones they are made of. They're jutting or proud or neglected or crumbling. Even then, I try not to obsess on them in a series of paragraphs and even labor to not give them more prominence than they need. As for whether the word is used twice or more in one sentence? Learn not to let it bother you if you need to use every instance. One of the best places for variation will always lie in the adjectives and verbs. Those are expressly made for the job!

You may have noticed I have a particular obsession with color, but it's something I don't force on my writing either. Unless I'm writing a story about a character that shares this obsession, I'm assuming too much as the narrator. If I need to flex these muscles, I'll write that story, but not every story has to be the vehicle for every bit of knowledge and passion I possess. Epic fantasy especially has no shortage of richness that doesn't need any help to boost the word count. Take my latest finished draft, UnSung, as an example. It currently sits close to the 250K mark and may see a higher count still (there are a couple of short scenes needing added to boost a later plot thread). Nevertheless, I really had to plan and pick to isolate it down to the proper pace for the story. It didn't need extraneous poetic filler or info-dumps to get there. In fact, it would be a hard sell and a tedious story if I'd done so.

Summing it up, don't hesitate to flex your vocabulary, but mind how you use it. Use words that don't require people to run to a dictionary. Even when I use fancier color words, I sometimes expand the context the first time I do. "Those viridian eyes, deceptive in their resemblance to the hills behind my childhood home, were far too cold to harbor any of the warmth from my nostalgia." Save sentences like that for where they can make an impact. Be concise. Be short. Then, hit them with the power of an effective chain. Just like candy loses it sweetness when over-indulged, words can lose their power as well.

Writing is trial and error more than do's and don'ts. Even 'do's and don'ts'  is heavily debated, but it's agreed that whichever style you use, at least be consistent. Some effects are better used sparingly, others will need a stricter hand. You'll get a better feel with this as you butt heads with all those damn 'rules' out there. Go ahead and fight it a bit, but keep in mind, your average FaceBook writing group will endlessly encourage bad habits rather than risk offending you by saying your usage was tedious.

All writers are obsessed with words in some sense. Yet finding your voice will come from your inner critic more than your free-flowing creativity. First drafts are often like falling in love, where every word feels right. So many writers become dismayed by how bad the reread is, but understand that that is a passionate but worthwhile response. Never completely silence the need to do better at least. No matter how you improve, it does you good to embrace the skepticism and use it to strengthen the intent of your stories. It's not because you suck and should give up-- it's because you care enough to want it to be the best you can make it.

It's my hope that you can take away some inner strength and criticism alike. Now I need to beat some fish who keep scaring the shit out of me by knocking over rocks. I swear they do this on purpose just to get my attention, so attention they shall get (even if it's not what they were bargaining for).