My Hiatus From Writing

Although I technically write daily, after a few weeks of none of that being drafting, there's a point where I've honestly accepted that I'm not really working towards those goals at the moment. The admission is scary for some, but it can be a motivational tool; if not, then it's certainly a mark of accountability.

There are reasons, of course. Good ones, even. Still, I consider the reprieve as a yellow area, a warning that will start to darken and haunt me the longer I disregard it. I can certainly be satisfied that the ideas are growing, the scenes find better ways to unravel, but the more I consigned them to notes, the less they'll bloom fresh in the pages of a draft. I already know; it is possible to overplan as much as under.

Even drawing and crocheting has felt segmented from direct purposes. While this isn't the same as burning out--insofar, I've been enjoying these things in small doses still--I can't be too careful. When I love something, or even obsess on it, it is just as shaky as an addiction. We never feel the point where the fun and control plummets into dependence and desperation. It's not creativity that I dip into at all, or the addiction comparatively. Creativity is not the place that is difficult to go; it's the place I'm from. In a way, it's reality that is closer to the addiction. It's the reality of life that makes me breathe shallower and holds me under at times. It gums the gates to home and makes the air itself thick with obstacles, stretching my skin like a canvas along the way.

But I've given myself a yellow flag. The reminder that I've spent too much time anchored away from myself, that the pining that grows cannot be allowed to continue. I have to cut ties, find what is holding me back, be willing to stomach the strange faces that wonder why I'm retreating when nothing seems amiss. Because going home means a place where I don't check messages, I mumble to myself, I don't ever know what day or time it is and I'll screw up my face as I pause to answer questions even about myself. At home, I'm not all here. You'll think I'm upset but it's the exact opposite. My energy just goes to home. It's not this side of me that anyone should worry about. It's the one where I'm smiling too hard, too worried about making sure I'm not worrying you, stressing over the same trivial things that are supposed to be normal.

I'll get through today in a blur. Tomorrow, I'm starting the day doing laundry and baking cookies. The rest of the day, I'm looking for the bread crumbs back home and making a mental note to better mark my way back. I've been away too long.

GoT is Done and I'm Not Disappointed

Yup, spoilers ahead so go ahead and jump ship if you're not wanting the series finale events to be spoiled for you.

First up, you couldn't have been that surprised that Daenerys had to go. As I've mentioned in the last episodic post, and as Jon Snow reaffirmed, she gained too much power with her good deeds, too much caution in not seeming weak, that she crossed the line from benevolent queen to warmonger. She outright declared Grey Worm her Master of War. What she clearly planned wasn't unlike a Holocaust, a widespread cleansing and fear campaign weaseled over with words like liberation. Remember in history when kings used words like divine right and explorers used manifest destiny? 

I don't think Daenerys 'got what she deserved'. It's nothing so easy as that. It was that childlike dreaminess returning as she tried to appeal to Jon Snow that was dangerous, made it most clear that she no longer understood the terrible weight of her actions. It wasn't clear whether she was being naive or manipulative, but what he saw was that she believed in it.

The suspense mounted most for me where Drogon began piecing it together and every possibility danced through my head excitedly. Would he avenge his Mother's murder? Would he bow to Jon? When he, in wise dragon fashion, turned on the Throne and melted it, I remembered the profound moment where Khal Drogo 'crowned' Viserys, ending the terrible dreams of a tyrant, and was never more sure that Drogon both knew her fate was coming and that this creature was more like Varys, never more sure that the fate of men had to be severed from the Iron Throne. Drogon represented the deeper wishes of the Realm and even of his Mother, who was blindsided by her good intentions and twisted promises of destiny. 

Though Samwise's idea of democracy was ridiculed, the Imp came through once more and more sneakily proposed much the same thing. The nobility might not have been ready to openly concede to the people, but he took a more civilized page from the Islanders, proposing a sort of Kingsmoot, where the Houses gathered upon the death of a chosen King to convey the wishes of their people.

The Stark kids each took on a position of royalty. Bran took the South, Sansa took the North and though Jon Snow was consigned to the "Night's Watch" (which if you were paying attention, actually positioned him as more of a King Beyond the Wall), and Arya took on the tongue in cheek position of finding what lay beyond that gaping hole on the map 'west of Westeros'. While not exactly royalty, she is all that her aunt might have been, wild and free, leading others and bound to none.

I think the book fans stomp their feet too hard in discrediting the writers' hasty resolution. Personally, I might have hated the slag of more seasons of catty comeuppance and the element of surprise where this story could go was running its course. That they are accused of taking GRRM's Rubix Cube and painting the sides to close up the intricate plots is completely overstated. The writing itself was starting to show that the more he tried to tie anything up and get to the damn point, the more his mind just wanted to make two knots of every one. The frequency of his book releases suggests he's not exactly eager to keep writing them either. Honestly, I'm not counting on him ever finishing them. Hell, he even released that tedious history of the Targaryen's book. He's not really interested in trying to tie things up. Like Tolkien, he just like the playground.

The show did well enough to snap the lid closed but still leave some room for decent spin-offs that can specifically focus more keenly on certain characters or aspects, but still drives a point I've suspected since early on. 

I'll say it again, just as the show had hinted when Cersei asserted that she is Queen and was met with the ever-prevalent quote that permeates fantasy; one who has real power needs never assert it. The minute they feel the need to assert it, they are only admitting their fear of that lie. Just as Varys stoically posited that the will of the Realm was not something any one man would ever grasp. It was never a game to be won. It was a game to be played out. Like every unfinished game of Monopoly I ever played, you play until you get sick of, then you move on to something better.

What disappointed the bulk of fans was that their wash-rinse-repeat wasn't there. The big battles were not strategic enough. Characters acted out of character (which I've also argued before is plausible in the face of traumatic events that they have no gauge for). Characters were killed off, along with whatever beloved theories they held onto for them. Some just wanted another tyrant on the throne. Or some other grimdark wanking fantasy.

As far as I've looked at it, it didn't actually feel that rushed to me. Sure, there were some parts you could pick at, like the rather sudden way the Night King's army came upon them. Yet I appreciated that there wasn't the same tedious and methodical pacing here. It held more of the fuckery and confusion and mistakes inherent with everything I've read on war. I've certainly tired of the all too perfect strategizing that is mostly just boring, drawn out and forgetting that warriors aren't perfect little chess pieces. They piss and shit themselves and cry for their mothers, the brave can turn tail and the weak detach and become bad ass.

It was a good way to go. This is one of the few shows I've been able to keep watching. It never went stale for me. The claims of being too abrupt were too emotionally attached to people's investment in the perpetual longevity of the source material. It ended true to its original namesake: in fire and ice. Neither sappy with hope nor wretched with despair. That, to me, gives it room to still feel like an organic experience rather than a story ended.

I'm crossing my fingers for the proposed Dark Tower series. Yet another one that blows hot and cold with fans. I'd like to see the characters stay true to the source, but I won't be disappointed if they alter or add to it a bit to arrive there. And it could use a better ending.

King, I love your story-telling, but your endings are absolute shit most of the time. And I don't just mean in the plotting sense or even emotional, I mean they seem like they were done by an internal troll who hates stories. I swear he took every method of writing a good ending and thought it was edgy to not do any of that. Or maybe he resents novels, because his short stories don't suffer the same issue.

Even though the Dark Tower movie tanked, I found that the remake of IT was actually pretty damn good. That's another hit or miss of his. It's become somewhat of King's thing to be a bucking horse. Unlike creators like Tim Burton or Danny Elfman who tend to shit gold by sticking to their strengths, I can't hate King for rocking a leaky canoe. If I had a cruise ship sailing alongside, I'd make waves too. Better than beating the dead horse of insisting everyone simply mastering one thing. Diversity is the thing that keeps a creator prolific. Less burn out, more turn out.

Fuck, it's time for me to cut this loose. It stopped being about the topic several paragraphs ago.

GoT--I'm cool with the ending. Peace!

Hot Weather on Blast and Video Game Glitch Fun

Temps rose up to the high 80s at the end of this week, making me (and my cats, to some degree) puddles of unproductivity. One thing I've always done since I started acquiring technology is to always operate them at optimal temperatures. Even if I were a little lax there, the heat that processors put off are enough of an incentive to give them a rest. The only saving grace being that I had the foresight to buy and install heat repelling window film on a cool morning before the heat wave started, so my sanctuary stayed at an uncomfortable high 80 range instead of the unbearable 100+ range that it normally cooks to under the punishing summer sun.

Unfortunately, it made for an irritable, restless weekend nonetheless and I ended up sprawled out and soggy, a whole limp box of greasy French fries instead of my usual grinning cheeseburger self. Even simple cleaning tasks like putting away laundry or organizing felt more like a five mile run and the sweat poured faster than I could rehydrate. Threw me off bad enough that my hormone levels went wonky and the irritability made me avoid human interaction more than usual. You know yourself long enough and you feel that set in your shoulders and prickle in your spine that lets you know that while you're not looking for a fight, you'll invent one, finish it, and likely carry it on a bit longer.

I did at least keep busy, attempt to meet basic needs, letting sheer exhaustion make sleeping possible. Again, knowing myself, sleep is usually impossible without cool air, curling up on my side, and a blanket with one foot sticking out, but exhaustion is the great equalizer. So I passed out in the heat, sprawled out on my back, no blankets.

In the meantime, I'd gone to a favorite mindless activity of mine: YouTube videos for themed video game glitches. Horrifying, funny, and just plain weird, there's something instant and visceral about placing yourself in a fantasy, immersing it as reality, then watching it defy logic. Sometimes, the pixel garbage gives me that horrifying twinge of wrongness that is hard to keep watching (that glitch in Skyrim where the assets don't load quite right when you walk through that wall in Windhelm) but some just fill me with a sense of wonder or scratch the surface with humor. Some are incorrectly named, being more exploitative or Easter egg by nature, but it's one of the reasons I love the Share feature of PS4. Though I don't actually share my own experiences on YouTube, I like having a personal library of glitches to trim and enjoy for myself.

I still wish that feature had been on the PS3 when I'd warped to Arkngtham ruins and turned to see Shadowmere had materialized over a tent where she was stuck bouncing upside down. Never been able to repeat that one or find any videos where it happened to someone else. Damn it... Though I hate to think of how many hours I might have wasted cackling over an upside down bouncing horse.

So while I wish I could do more creative work (as always the urge stronger for the difficulty of actually being able to), I'm at least keeping my brain and body plugging along. Luckily, my tablets are better equipped to handle this sort of weather, without adding to the heat. I can still type out some notes. Unfortunately, Google Docs on a tablet is glitchy as hell or I'd do some editing projects, but we've got a couple cool days coming up to squeeze that in. My AC unit was torn up when the tree outside of my window at the time had beaten it up, but my dad is installing a new one this week so it's not an issue that will put me off my game for long. As I've said, the window film makes a huge difference too.

In any case (preemptive pun intended), I purchased a sleeve case for my XP-Pen Artist12 display so I can keep it on my laptop table without these razor clawed cats damaging the screen.

I'm scattering a bit because I really want to watch more glitches... It's my visual crack when I need to take my mind to some interesting places. 

Catch ya later!

Strong Women in Fiction

I'm probably going to beat a few dead horses here, but I feel like I need to repeat an oft forgotten sentiment that I'm rather staunchly standing by.

Strong women, by the standards of what makes men strong, are not that strong.

Often, we see authors trying to remove 'weakness'. Keep her away from the kitchen. Remove any sense of shame, kindness, submissiveness, or display of excessive emotion. If she's fat, she can't dislike her body. If she's muscular, she can take on any man in battle. If she's skinny, she's faster but God forbid she's ever manipulative or seductive or uses her looks. She's never illiterate and she never uses drugs. She can drink anyone under the table but she's not an alcoholic. She doesn't have kids, but if she does, she's not a nurturer. Tough love only. She can use sex to get her way, but is never used herself. She can't have been raped or otherwise traumatized because that would make her a damaged prop, a cheap piece of plot, rather than a fully-realized character.

See where I'm going? Contradictions abound as the list goes, somehow making a 'strong' woman into no woman who can ever relate to her. In trying to steer clear of the Stepford wife, we're left with another Barbie, more plastic than G.I. Joe. We're suddenly making the broken women who build their own lives up again, not giving the supposedly submissive-seeming character the room to reveal that she has the agency to wear a mask to build up her empire. The 'weak' woman is dismissed as flat before her layers are shown. She is no longer allowed to be mysterious because her perceived weakness will be consigned to satisfying the male gaze, to being nothing more than a punching bag, to not having her own mind or dreams.

Time and again, you see the nervous writer asking how to write a woman and you get the floods of defensive women looking to cut them down as sexist or misogynistic or shallow if the woman isn't some ideal that removes an feminine trait they consider weak. And I didn't gender the writer because, yes, they will even presume to infantilize a woman who isn't sure how to write female's of a certain level of socialized femininity. Maybe she was raised around men and just has no idea how women socialize or never uses make-up but her character does. The problem with their advice is that their increasing departure from socialized femininity begins to villainize any women who personify that role, as if to invalidate them as real women.

The trend is even to protect trans-women, gay women, women of color. Anything but the feminine aspect. In fact, the idea that we can't even define the feminine or masculine aspects because they might cause offense are what really end up causing the confusion. So instead, anyone who finds comfort in gendered roles becomes part of the problem and....

Ugggghhhh, no more. Really. 

People will continue battling this out, but as a writer, at some point I learned to just write. To look for the logic in a character's build and see if their actions, reactions and personality are plausible for themselves. To remember that I am misunderstood, that I am perceived as both weak and strong, that my stories will always display vulnerabilities and impassable walls, that those walls will crumble and when people feel safest with me, they'll sometimes hit invisible walls that confuse them as well.

If you want a strong woman, look at a characteristically weak one and ask what she might be protecting, what might be motivating her, what she is waiting for. Don't be so quick to dismiss her as weak or a victim. It's not always her failing that makes you uncomfortable but yours. Give her time to seem shallow, give her some time to be annoying and mysterious and able to change.

A strong character will not say all the right things, know all the right people, be confident in every room. They will also not be endearing in all their faults, be the pariah surrounded by peons, and suffer greatly just to prove a point. If they are any of those things, there's an organic way to get there without punching your reader in the face.

If your character is constantly signalling that they are kind but are actually stone cold assholes, then tell narration should at least be aware, making it comedic, creepy, or ironic. Otherwise, the reader just thinks you're ignorant of any device to drive the disparity.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, just be aware. At every stage of their actions, you as the writer should know what history or fears or delusion drives it. That is what keeps them from being flat. Don't try to be safe. Strive to deliver honesty at every dimension and you'll be all right. If you don't trust what you know of people, observe (but don't stalk) people who fit the bill. Don't always worry about being right. Sometimes the story is about your perspective or how others react to them in general. If you have a specific trait in mind, ask someone who has it rather than general forums that will confuse it with assumptions of their ideal.

Oh yeah, and have fun. Exercise your own strengths and enjoy the process.

Nerd Talk: How the Westeros Was Won

Game of Thrones spoilers ahead... If you aren't caught up, here's your warning. If you are, proceed! If you don't care to, you might actually find something worthwhile in my babbling anyway.

Daenerys Stormborn basically just mowed King's Landing into ash. Lots of main characters were cut down, lots of innocents to boot, and we only know for sure that Arya got out in one piece, but clearly in a state of disbelief over carnage even she wasn't prepared for.

Taking down Euron Greyjoy's Iron Fleet was gratifying. Daenerys lost another of her dragons in the last episode and it felt like justice. It's when the Golden Company surrenders and the camera goes to Daenerys's face twitching with cold hatred and that coin-flip Targaryen madness followed by Jon Snow's oh-shit face do we realize we have a Mad Queen on our hands. Amid the pointless carnage and montage of final showdowns, a lot of Daenerys fans jumped ship. At first, I thought the worst of it too but there was one thing I've been certain of while watching this show.

Like in actual human history, monarchies have to fall, in bloody rebellion, for new governments to take place. While we can't say for certain whether this was plain-old Targaryen madness or a sudden revelation that the Iron Throne would never be hers, the choice to completely destroy it was, inevitably for the greater good.

I wouldn't say I condone genocide as a solution in the real world, but facing overpopulation, oppressive governments, the rise of theological laws trumping human rights, and irreversible damage to the planet caused by human fuckery, I'm also not entirely unsympathetic to the extremes caused by dystopian desperation. However, it's the 'good intentions' of human ego that often lead to tyranny, genocide and villains who think themselves heroic.

Didn't we see this same theme with Thanos, where he went from just being the big bad guy to a misguided being with a savior-complex? There are always layers that create these moral grey areas. Genocide, wrong, but human neglect and rampant apathy, also wrong. It often takes centuries, all the while those benefitting become blind to the dirty truths of their golden empires, only to stand in shock when the desperation topples them into dust.

I couldn't be surprised that Daenerys went the route she did. She journeyed from an innocent girl who was promised a kingdom by her twisted brother to needing to wallow through the horrors of reality to get there. All the while, she tried countless times to do the right thing, to be a merciful queen. Yet it always made the oppressors stronger with that perceived weakness and time and time again, she had to secure her power through being the monsters she sought to remove. It isolated her from those closest to her, made them fear her--all but a few who truly cared. They never questioned her because it showed a lack of loyalty but even they started to show in their eyes alone a lack of faith.

Losing Missandei, the one who always looked her in the eye and stayed true, was an incomparable loss. Even Grey Worm/Torgo Nudho, while still unfailingly held her command, stopped meeting here eyes. Jon Snow's doubts were plain as day. In the scene prior to marching against the Red Keep, she asks him if he sees her as more than queen and we see without him speaking that his love for her has cooled. 

So while we could assume that she is a jilted woman, isolated and aware that the Throne could still become Jon Snow's despite his refusal to take it, the role of Queen, no, as rightful heir of the Seven Kingdoms (removing gender as a factor altogether), it is more plausible than even inherited incestual madness is less likely than her resolve to destroy the Throne altogether. It is useless to her in securing the people's faith and loyalty. If she cannot claim her birthright through civilized means, she will acquire it through fear, even knowing fear had brought the people down on her father's rule to begin with.

But he didn't have dragons. Well, dragon. Even though fan theories project Drogon might have laid more eggs when he went missing for some time.

While the tagline intimates that the Game of Thrones means you win or you die, the underlying theme makes that a bit of braggadocio, always whispering through the faceless god and the old Valyrian saying that 'all men must die', overshadowing the idea that nobody really wins at all. And no, 'all men must die' isn't some cheeky feminist hint that women are excluded, anymore than mankind actually excludes women.

No one is meant to win this. With the toppling of all major tyrants leaves most of the brilliant minds gone and the survivors not the fittest among us to pick up the pieces. We lose the glory of those times, and often the knowledge of our advancement. We lose the luxuries that allow for the facilities to advance and simply revert to survival.

A little aside here, but this is also why the Ancient Aliens show is absurd to me. The idea that the only explanation for early humans to advance as they did was for extraterrestrial influence to occur is pretty discrediting to our actual potential. While its true that someone had to observe, eat and smoke the plants to discover their properties, create language, etc. we weren't just poop-throwing monkeys, the oddly grunting caveman, and nothing but drooling morons until our modern incarnation. Even the monkeys we descended from (and projected our brain evolution came from through the Stoned Ape Theory) were rather clever creatures from the onset. The capability for wondrous brilliance of thought and utter stupidity were always a gambit. It's also very possible that many processes were not recorded, only built at the zenith of our ancestors' civilizations before greed once more tore them down before the process could be repeated or passed into general knowledge. While even today our most successful humans could hand you a roadmap of exactly what they did to succeed, the repetition  of great achievements often fails without exact conditions that are lost as being inconsequential at the time.

So, as related to the original topic, our very natures guarantee that our own egos prevent good from coming of progress. Conservatives seek to protect dying structures and those obsessed with change are willing to build with bad materials rather than risk not being able to build at all. What remains is a foundation of tears and blood. 

Daenerys must know that there is no way to win. She never comes off as being too stupid to have realized the futility. It's also true that she is a human, subject to whims, emotion, and ego. Though she also believes that nothing could stand against her dragon and beat her, it is also likely that she will be taken down by something as gentle as a whisper. 

Yet through her tyranny, both terrible lessons and even altruistic retrospection exists. Begrudgingly, she is both wrong and right and neither matters. The game is forever changed. Though thrones may not be restored, powerful humans will sit in chairs again and play with lives once more.

It's the real world parallels that make this fantasy a ripe place for comparisons. Of course Westeros isn't Earth but fiction lovers don't fail to see where our mistakes and imagination create a playground so visceral and breathtaking. While the books are a hard read, the show is truly a team effort of epic proportions. The music alone is award worthy, but the actors are no less perfect for their roles. The opening animation itself is rightfully praised as being the only intro it's hard to skip through, no matter how many times you watch it. While I'm not out to convert anyone to watch it nor shove my morally grey and idealistic views of human progress in anyone's face, I hope you were at least inspired to explore deeper than a first impression of anything.

Our very strong gut reactions are often less gratifying than the long game. It's worth reflecting on the true nature of people and world problems, especially through the distraction of fiction.

Help Them to Help You

Creative sorts often blog about the many ways to rescue yourself from a creative block, but a great deal of them are hyper-focused on self-care and even a bit too much faking your way through it.

Don't get me wrong--those things do help, but sometimes you exhaust the list, constantly overlooking a really precious experience.

Be a mentor.

I'm not talking about going on group forums and giving sometimes insincere pep talks to everyone brave enough to post their work. Crowd boosting feeds you only the general energy of a crowd, which in turn, actually isolates you from the benefits of real problem solving and learning through a genuine meeting of minds. Pick a passion project. This means to find one person's work who screams at you, no matter how rough, and pursue working with them. No strings attached, no swaps, no fees, no using them to boost or talk about your own work.

It takes serious discipline, to reach out and offer your own expertise without seeking a possible client or fan. You don't have to give it anymore than you're willing to, but make good on whatever you tell them you'd like to help with. Give a brief intro of your experience if you like, but focus on giving them real feedback. Personalized feedback is going to endear them to the idea of sharing, but giving them a piece of your intentions and integrity is a responsibility you can't give lightly. If you agree to take on work outside of what drew you in, don't get squeamish there. Bluntly tell them that that work doesn't interest you, but still commit to telling them why. Even if it's just as simple as not liking the genre or not connecting with the characters, offer something specific, but encourage them to keep offering samples because of that initial connection still keeps you interested.

Remember to set boundaries if they push huge tasks on you that you don't have time for. It often helps to commit to reading only short stories or first chapters. Ask questions that show you've made the effort to pay attention. The more honest you are about how interested you really are, the less you'll corner yourself into reading more work that doesn't grab you, to the point you'll regret and even resent the work and possibly ruin a valuable relationship.

Remember, if you run into the opportunity to genuinely like someone's work when you're hitting blocks with your own, be sure to tell them that their work may inspire you in your own and you may become unavailable. All the same, be prepared to wrap up your obligation to them. They may even happily tell you to postpone it, simply flattered they've given you that spark and send you off to patiently await your availability again.

I've very gladly taken on many beta reading projects without an expected return and I've spoken about this before, but when you take out money or deadlines or expectation, you truly open yourself and your work to amazing new opportunities for personal growth. When asked why I don't charge for it, it's a no-brainer for me: as a professional, I would be paid for work someone wants me to do, but it is not entirely selfless when it's the other way around. I am asking for the privilege to pursue work I enjoy, work that I believe can help me become better at what I do. Through selected experience, I am able to later charge others more.

This isn't the same as working for exposure. As I've said, my offer is extended in the honesty that I am offering only the time I am willing in such a way that doesn't disrupt my own work. I am not looking for a résumé entry, although you can bet your ass that if one of my selected projects gains notable success, I'm attaching my own contribution to it. 

Leading from there, this also why I contribute my expertise to sites like Quora. Even though the platform is crowded with absurdly vague questions, I like to select the ones where I can establish some real solutions. Livelihood is about contribution, not just for myself, but for the benefit of others... And then feeding it back to myself again. I do expect my efforts to come back for my benefit, just not in the exact way some might expect them to.

As always, my choices are about growth and change and when something isn't working, the problem is often with the way I'm approaching it. Am I holding myself back by not proving to be more mentally flexible to the problem? If so, it's time to use my skills to broaden my horizons, acquire new skills or start a new professional relationship.

Since marketing is a weakness, I knew one of those relationships would need to involve that. In return, I offered my own skill set and found a beneficial trade there. 

These things don't exactly fall into your lap just because you want them. Often, months or years have gone by before that opportunity comes along. You can't spend the time in-between anxious, wistful and desperate. Just like it's near impossible to attract a romantic relationship by wallowing in self-pity rather than bettering yourself, you can't expect people to want to work with you when you haven't shown what you are actually doing. My books have been out for a couple of years now and the sales are low and I have no reviews. Rather than letting that get me down, I acknowledged early on that the work had to keep building. More books, more stories, more drawings, more planning. I've had to start investing in new technology and what I'll need to successfully run a convention or trade show booth.

Ahem. So. Essentially, what you sometimes need is a passion project that isn't your own work. Some writers really get mired in their own ego, afraid that liking someone's work more than their own will cripple them. So stop being afraid and lose some ego. Get lost in a new story and remind yourself why you turned to writing. You still get to use some of your expertise and even some degree of empathy, knowing that you're actively working with the author who cares about the work. It's passive yet interactive and a truly wonderful experience in most cases.

This may not be the same for you, but the benefit of using a group to find these projects is that I look at how they are responding to criticism of their work. If they are getting too defensive, wounded or hostile, I back away whether I like it or not. It's important to find some compatibility when it comes to exchanging honesty. If I spot someone who writes well, is interesting AND handles themselves diplomatically, I'm in. I can handle young and inexperienced writers, but diplomacy is very important to inspiring the process that can help both of us.

So don't overlook an often untapped fount for inspiration. The prospect of working with people who I truly believe have a shot at success is thrilling. I'm not looking to hitch my success to that, just to improve the quality and passion of my own.

But I'm gonna brag on them every chance I get, with every milestone they achieve. Isn't it always a bit more gratifying when your favorite garage band becomes an international sensation? Being that day one believer is always a bragging right!

Work, Work, Work, Work, Work

It's my favorite kind of weather and I woke up tempted to go back to bed. The only way to get the energy going was to bend to the joyless task of housework. Not just the normal fare like vacuuming, dusting and wiping. No, I went whole hog and bleached the kitchen garbage can, scraped my windows (I'm installing some of those heat-reducing films later this week), and covering evidence of where my adorable little hell-cats managed to scrape paint off of the wall.

It worked. So I worked.

Finished up the business card image:

Done with my XP-Pen Artist 22E Pro

Playing with the design for it, but not yet done with that. I spent the better part of today just cleaning this image up and hadn't set up a business card template beforehand so I just took care of that part.

I may do more tonight, if not, tomorrow is going to be another gorgeous day to do it!