Dolly Days

So I wrote a bit on the Coronavirus, but I also wanted to post a little update on some of my projects.

UnHeard editing is at a go again. The word count is at about 100K and I'm sweeping through to look for factual and grammatical errors before I continue writing. There is still much original writing and plotting to be done, but I wanted to get my ducks in order before I went ahead with it. There are a few parts nagging me to rearrange and rewrite before proceeding.

Dolls! Dolls, dolls, dolls. I rearranged myself because not one, but two dolls are going to be getting here in the next month. The Hyperon sculpt that will become Maxim from UnHeard, for one, but I also found the perfect sculpt (which I sadly don't know the name for) for his stubborn counterpart, Princess Endramena ir Hyaren. Although I had been debating getting the Iplehouse Aria sculpt for her, I stumbled on her in a wider search and she more resembled my drawings. Although I do think Aria needs to be in my collection someday, I haven't yet found a project for her, so that will wait. It's most important for me to work on the projects that align with the materials I already have. My craft bins are quite full to near overflowing, so I'm working on making rooms and completion rather than collection of more materials!

My dolls do all have faceups now. The Hyperon sculpt will come with one, but I ordered Mena's sculpt without one, really wanting to do a resin face-up for a change and the different challenges that come with it. I'll get to break out my airbrush and sealant I bought for that purpose as well as play with gouache and acrylics for her eyes and lips. I've done most of my previous faceups with watercolor pencils and chalk pastels (which will still be used for blushing and lashes), so paints are both bane and curiosity.

Now, I don't expect mine to look exactly like the wonderful pictures, but I'll share Maxim and Mena's sculpts here:

Maxim

Endramena

So Maxim will actually have dark hair and lighter eyes and I've gotten the tan skin option for both of them, since they come from an island nation (doesn't make much sense to be pale there). His look will feature a lot of black and gold, leather and embroidery and armor. The sculpt here is a bit softer a look than I'm going for. Maxim is a bit of a hardened character.

As for Mena/Endramena, her very turquoise eyes will be the change since the tan skin option is shown here. I may do her lips in more of a red color, but I do like the coral/peach look here too. Again, she'll have dark hair like Maxim and she's getting an impressively long black wig that will be a blast to style. I see a lot of turquoise and golds for her, though I'm trying to steer clear of the whole Princess Jasmine look... It's probably still going to resemble her anyway.

So, I have plans, but things might turn out vastly different, depending on where my whims take me.

Although Rienna is mostly finished, I removed the teardrop from her belt and replaced it with a shell button that looks more like the source material. I put her wild hair back to try to train the curls not to take over her face. Eventually I'll style the wig or make a new one, but I'm moving on.

Talia, my fire dancer, also mostly done, still needs scarves and a headdress, but I've since bought some large beads and jump-rings that I need to complete those. Ordered by mail so when they get here is integral to when they'll be finished. I have specific plans for how those will be finished.

So, without further ado, I'm hopping back over to editing. Again, be safe with all the crazy going on out there, and I hope you're inspired to do some projects of your own!

Getting Busy

So the past couple of days have been productive at least. I managed to tape up my Rienna and cut out the pieces of fabric to make her cape and hood. I used some stiff paper to create a sort of ledge for the shoulder pieces. I might attempt my air dry clay later, but I've ordered a different kind in case this stuff doesn't work. It's a kid's clay that I have right now, so it will give me a feel for sculpting, even if it doesn't hold up well.

I also started some diamond painting of a sakura tree. I forgot how maddening diamond painting is. Takes forever and kills more time than I would like it to, but it's still a good distraction.

What else? Writing. Yes, I've managed to finish a second chapter of the Dreampunk Chronicles, so that's good. Poking away at UnHeard is also good. I have no idea what I wanted to do with one of my short stories. I think I confused myself when I initially wrote it, so I had to do a quick fact check, but I think I know what to do with it.

I'll probably release the three stories as one. One's very short, only about 10K words. The other is about 20-25. Not sure how long the last one will be, but it will be small enough that it won't break anyone's bank. Unfortunately, epic fantasy really drives up the price of prints, but I can at least keep the ebooks at a decent price. I'm thinking of calling it Before They Were Heroes, since each of them deals with characters I've done before the events took place in their series. One is pretty much romance erotica, while the other two are procedural in terms of fantasy. Either way, they still fit together, so I'll leave it at that.

But it's New Year's Eve and almost 2020, so I'm looking at a board game night with my sister and nephews and some good times. Better get things started (or at least get out the games). I'll see the rest of you on the other side of the ball dropping. Happy New Year!

Stinking Cold...

I'm not throwing in the towel yet, even though this cold is making it impossible to start writing for NaNo. I know; rather than wasting my limited time before getting dizzy while blogging it could be writing.

No, it couldn't. Trust me. If I was writing a book about LSD trips, I'd be good, but I literally thought I saw a pair of boots running a few feet ahead of the girl wearing them today. I'm not taking any meds that would do that, just good old fashioned sick hallucinating.

On that note, I felt okay to make a flower chain for my doll's head, so again, total hippie LSD shit I wouldn't trust in my book.

I guess that's a pretty important point-- know thy book. I'm sure people can gush about how surreality is exactly what fuels their creativity, but it's just not going to be for every writer. Even though I write fantasy, the book I'm working on has some pretty tight logic systems that I REALLY don't want to confuse with... whatever my head is doing these days. One pretentious thing that some writers do that makes me want to punch a nun is that thing where they act like being altered is the source of their creativity. I've spend a good part of my life struggling with an undiagnosed mental condition that did more to hinder than help. It's not because I lacked the ability to harness it. I've worked through depression, anxiety and hyperfixation, but there's not always a pretty solution around it. Sometimes it rides you. Sometimes you beat it into submission, but there's never been a formula--no matter how pretentious I might have claimed there is in the past. I was lucky sometimes, unlucky at others. Now I'm simply satisfied when I try.

So, no panicking just yet. I knew this cold would be a kicker on my ability to enjoy a word count. But drawing, doll customization projects, the ability to feel fulfilled--all of those things are on the back burner while I do that gutter-fucking slut-genitalia ass-blasting boredom circuit that is being sick. I haven't enjoyed balloony headedness as I have in the past with colds. Nope, this one just sucks and leaves me with this incessant need to do things my body is just not letting me do.

Except for sleep. Lots of that planned until I can heal up and kick some ass again.

Mwah. Love, peace and chicken grease!

Hump Day News

My busy week is coming along, but I'll be glad when things slow down again. Got the doctor appt, cookie baking, bridal shower stuff done, but a waitressing shift and 5K walk still before I can enjoy the weekend.

My new XP-Pen Artist 12 display came. If you've been following the blog, I reviewed their 21E Pro tablet favorably, only disappointed that the size makes it anything but portable. While the 15" might've sufficed, I decided to try out the smallest (11.5"). The appeal of this was the stylus, just one with this model, doesn't need charged. While the battery life of the two in my big one isn't a problem, it could be a minor annoyance if I forget to plug it in. What I really wanted was something I could easily maneuver while using my laptop in bed, so the weight and size was pickier this time.

Again, I hope to actually try it this weekend and review it then. It's a small screen, but I do like the weight and orientation so far. The real test will be the driver setup, ease of use as planned, and screen quality. Reviews I've read do emphasize that it's a high def screen better than some of their computer screens, but without specifying the year and make of their primary computers, that doesn't tell me much.

I hope to finish up the image that will potentially be on my business card. That will be my next expense and I'm leaning towards a linen texture paper in cream. Still can't decide on rounded or standard corners but I'll play with that. I want to stick to a basic triangle because I'll be passing these out at a future ComicCon and want them to not be accidentally dropped while people juggle their collection of business cards. I hope the design does the work.

So that's where it's at for now. Pushing through this week and settling plans, raring up for a more creative week to come. This social week has been cleansing but exhausting and creative work will be more appreciated for the absence.

A Quickie Update!

Still working on the drafted drawing from the last post, but I'm down to fiddling the hair, shading and color work. 

Busy weekend/week ahead. I celebrate Cinco de Mayo with my friends, an annual get-together I aim to never miss. I bake my grandma's M&M cookies for it so I'll be up early to get that done.

Tuesday, doctor appointment. Absolutely love my new doctor, so I look forward to these. She's really helped point me in the right direction. Wednesday, bridal shower. My niece Melody is marrying a guy she loves on May 24, so I'm happy for her. Also baking cookies for the shower. Thursday, waitressing. Friday, the Spirit Walk for the boys' school.

So Monday might seem empty but after an hour long talk with Joe yesterday, I'm going to organize pictures he can use on the website he's building me and he's on it for a solid marketing plan as well. It's a great exchange going on--in return, I'm going to design some elements for fantasy layout sites and also consult with his friend to do some custom work for that site as well. He is certain my work would really boost interest so I'm also eager to give it a shot.

Once the school year winds down, I'm confident the more relaxed schedule will allow for more focused work. Since I just mentioned those details of what I hope to work on in the last one, I won't belabor that here, just reiterate that I'm eager to get going there as well.

Oh, I did mention ComicCon before, but I'm holding off on this year. I prioritized buying new equipment so I still need to purchase displays, print banners and business cards and bookmarks, whatever else I researched material-wise and rather than try to crunch that in last minute, I'll just gradually continue to gather that together as the money allows. I would also like to focus on the website, marketing, and broadening my body of work a bit more. I might still attend as a guest, since I usually go with my nephew Thomas each year, and it continues to be good research for ideas on when I do set up my own.

Yes, this is my idea of a quick update, but there were a lot of bases to cover and it's still brief, considering.

I'll most likely sneak back over here to throw up the finished image I'm working on. I'd like to use it in some form on both my business cards and my site but that may change. I may just use it on one or the other and make a similarly themed one to use on the other. I usually get a feel for these things once I've played with the finished image a bit.

Let's get through this week for now and see where things land!

Abandon Outside Expectations

If my 'new plan for a new year' did anything, it wasn't simply making me set myself up for crippling failure, but reevaluating how I treat myself as a writer. I've done a lot of advice blogs, not coming from the place of an expert, but simply meant to help other writers to remember to be as flexible as their guys tell them to be.

So what about those lamenting they flit around and never finish anything? I could say that maybe the tides will turn, maybe you can try to try some methods that have worked for me. Still, you see the baffling overflow of bloggers and articles whining about how the overflow of ego-driven advice.

Where?

Seriously, where? This is the same thing that happened when Bird Box came out on Netflix. I saw tons and tons of memes complaining that social media is raving about it, but somehow, 99.9% of the people on my feed hadn't even bothered to see it. Given, I've got maybe 300-something friends on FaceBook and fuck Twitter, but the things that overflow into my feed sometimes assume we're all absorbing the same shallow sources.

A writer's bane is, what then; the burden of choice? That, in our most vulnerable times, we're possibly just drinking in the most click-baity articles while downing wine and using that fishing expedition as an excuse to claim we're 'blocked' or 'burnt-out'?

Because every writer I actually talk to has the equivalent of idea diarrhea (sorry that the analogy has come to this...) Even when we're not writing, we're endless streams of possibility. It's not anathema, to shy away from the pen or the keyboard. It's process and how you feel about it is contrary to how it actually works, more often than not.

The days where I write or edit the most are often days where I feel like, eh, I'll just poke at it for 15 minutes because I'm not feeling it. I never remember how much I enjoy it until I push it.

Sometimes I'm right and it doesn't take off, but this is one of those instances where I'm happy to be wrong.

Maybe it's because I went into the new year gently. I've finished all of the oral surgery, caught a bad cold and still, I'm hoping to get through the nitty gritty of editing and formatting. I'm really hoping to honor my mom's birthday with another book release, but I'm not going to panic if I have to adjust that goal. 

I know that doesn't sound gentle; the breaking of jaw and tooth, the wracking of coughs and the pile of publishing prep, but that's exactly how I see it. I've had to put off exercise goals so my body could heal first. I've gracefully chosen sleep when I really want to edit. I've taken my own advice, time and again, because the advice is only frustrating or useless to others if I'm just bleating the same shit other writers are apparently blogging about without applying it successfully myself.

Go ahead and blubber over click-baity advice while inebriated on your alcohol of choice sometimes. It's not the best advice I can give and it makes for a sad party, but what is good or bad advice comes with how well you mesh with, test or rebel against it. Don't let anything intimidate you against self-improvement. Don't let the pretentious goals of 'perfection' or 'mastery' push you off of being a story teller, no matter the medium you choose.

It is what it is. Sometimes the simplest truths are that plain. I can get flowery at times, but underneath the flower bed is a simple base of soil, a self-sustaining ecosystem that doesn't need me throwing fertilizer (or salt) down to feel like I'm doing enough.

Don't smother the garden. I can't stress enough that what keeps me steady on the path is being okay with not knowing every stone, not freaking out at every worm.

And while I heal, I'll be gentle, which includes busting my ass on a few pavers in my personal garden. Whatever works.

I may not be consistently blogging, but I'm at peace with that. It isn't a priority but I'll make it one when the time is right. Once a week sounds like a modest goal for now.

Mental Dental Adventures

It shouldn't surprise me that yesterday's double extraction revealed that my stubborn nature went so far as to afflict my teeth as well. Long, curved roots. Great news if I want to keep a tooth, bad news if they need to go. So after a couple hours of having my jaw pushed to its mobility limits and the sickening crack of bone, there was some relief to be had.

Kind of. Risk of dry socket remains and the ingesting of blood and novocaine is hell on my stomach, the sort that even scrambled eggs didn't fix. The ache is ever present and I cringe as I remember the shattering of teeth. Haven't gotten any real sleep yet, but the slow ooze of blood and dull throb of an abused jaw are more present than total exhaustion just yet.

I still have to go back for fillings and a cleaning. As much as I loathe having my mouth invaded, I do love the assistants and my dentist is kind and decisive. Much better than a certain nervous one in my past that constantly stopped during a root canal to ask if I was going to bite (when I'd not given any indication I would at all). Fillings and a cleaning are cake compared to extractions. Especially since these stubborn bastards needed to be water drilled loose. They really weren't responding to the extraction tool at all.

Tylenol 3 is my temporary friend. Nothing is being very nice to my stomach though... 

Anyway, because of the stubbornness of those teeth, working on my books is postponed. I shouldn't be held up too long, assuming the clots stay put. It's not my first extraction but the socket wasn't as deep as these are so I need to take care. Just glad it's done and I can look forward to a healthier mouth. Tooth pain and discomfort are one of those all-encompassing bastards that can demand an exhausting amount of focus and care.

Teeth are toddlers. You can't reason with them.

Aw, Shucks...

My scheduled posts went a little on the dark and heavy confessionals, but NaNo is my month of isolation and I have to admit, UnHeard is becoming a voice for themes in my life that aren't light and pretty. There are moments of humor, moments of lightness and kindness, but like many of the themes in this series, I wanted to be as honest as I could about what these characters might go through, not just due to disability but how the fantasy version presents issues that I do have to create without any context in realism to go by.

It's exciting, as it always is, but it also builds a sense of urgency. No matter how ambitious my word count is this month, I won't even by halfway done with my draft this month. I engineered each of these books to exceed 200K words. Not with fluff or rambling, but with actual plots, structure and development. How do I know? Well, I couldn't have said so prior to writing UnSung, but once I stopped looking at word count and just developed it, I found that the stories I wanted to tell naturally tended towards large word counts. And this coming from a skeletal writer who used to struggle with working off of a frame at all!

Truly, I'm excited to put this one down where it stops and go back to refining UnSung for its final forms. No small task. A single book three times the size as the average book in my first series and I need to make at least two full editing passes before I'll even consider publishing.

I make it sound like I wasn't careful the first time around.  Eeeeee, so not true. I might even say I was way *too* careful in those days. I can recall fully passing through each one upwards of five times, wondering if the deliberate rush in the beginning would hurt it or not. It originally wasn't intended to be a novel after all, so I struggled with the first one the most. The others came more naturally. I was turning my life around, getting healthier and WHAM BAM ZOINK those drafted up so quick that I was skeptical that they could even be coherent. It wasn't until towards the end of the series that I dialed back the obsessive urge to pass through 'editing' that resulted in zero changes... repeatedly.

Nevertheless, I'm planning to take a short break after NaNo and another around Christmas. I'll crunch some more of the everything in between the New Year and the release of Kingdom Hearts 3, aka Soul Steal Month. After that, I plan to enjoy marathoning again, something I haven't done since the letdown that was Final Fantasy XV. Only so crushing because such an otherwise beautiful game with great mechanics was flattened by a limp story. lol I do have a Selective Gamer blog floating around with my handful of reviews that go into this more, so I'll spare the rant here.

So! As we reach the end of NaNo, congratulations to all of the participants and I encourage everyone to try to fit it into your future! I'll post my final word count (and I only count the novel, not the endless blog posting I do) and my graphics in a later post. Post yours in the comments below! In fact, do your victory laps everywhere you get permission! You've earned it!