Read Me

Old enough to remember when we used to write that on neatly folded notes in class, as if we'd actually mistake it for a gum wrapper or some other inconsequential piece of garbage? I'm not going to tell you it was the 'good old days' because I don't miss high school, but I will say that my best friend and I used to get a little MORE old-school and draw a carrier pigeon on the outside too.

But no, nostalgia isn't where this is headed.

How can we as authors get readers to take a chance on us? Do we lure them with humorous carrier pigeons or abbreviate our names because gendered names are too damning?

For authors, there are a myriad of frustrations that can be disillusioning when it comes to pitching our books. Things I've heard said (and in some cases, I've said personally):

1. What should include in my bio?

2. If I write about _____, will people read it?

3. How can I convince people I'm serious?

4. Does my gender/genre/voice matter?

5. If my story isn't 'good', does it invalidate me?

Personally, I'm neither of the party that sterilizes my stories into trendy bestsellers nor the party that writes only for passion. Like most things, I aim for balance. Am I a talented writer? I don't know. I've heard people remark that I am but in some ways, feedback is about as frequent as Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons coming to my door (but feedback is actually welcome). I think some people fear I'll either be too wordy and intellectual or too 'girlie'. And ffs, what would be wrong with either in regular doses? It's disheartening that women can feel comfortable reading books in a male voice but there is also an entire subset of men and uncomfortable women who peg all females in the same wishy-washy light, like we're all pumping out vapid romances and words are hard. I've beat that horse before and won't flip it and cook the other side now.

I suppose you could call the sexual scenes that crop up in my books 'smut' but do you know what that means for an asexual to explore that? It is rarely just about the sex. I'm calculating the actions of my characters on a level that complements their roles in the story. Yes, it is detailed and even a bit gratuitous but what's the point of drawing you into the heads of my characters if I kick you out at their most vulnerable?

Ohhhh, I see it now. Again, it sounds too complex. Here's the thing-- as a writer, I do see it as my duty to simplify the complex. I don't have a strict set of rules. I'm not going to talk down to you, but I'm not going to assume you know all of the unique rules of my fantasy world. And I'm not one of those people who will spew out endless lengths of fantasy names. I tend to use unique names but not ones too complicated to follow. There are three main continents in my first series-- Vieres, Stoneweld, and Wheryf. There are a lot of characters for you to meet but they are written in compact pieces, more a collection of short stories. I sometimes jump to different points in their lives to justify an action in their present.

I realize my work won't be everyone's cup of tea, but it can be tough for me to sum it up when people want to know what 'my book' is about. It's never been 'a book' and people seem to forget that my memory is very spotty (irony). I can discuss the decisions I made if you read it but trying to sum it up or package it is a lost cause.

Let's be honest-- even among writers, there are many who see self-publishers as people too chicken shit to query and wait in line to be accepted or too greedy to hire 'professionals' to make a quality product. In case they missed the memo, I AM a professional. Not only a writer and an artist but across multiple media. I was a comic book artist first, spending countless hours combining story-telling and art. Artists are often polymaths. It waters down nothing.

Ah, I wish I could remember her name but one girl in a group I'm in wanted to learn how to get better at cover design. A frustrating number of 'Hire a pro' comments flooded the post. I'm not sure when disposable income became a thing, nor being so eager to dismiss people from learning new skills but her reaction was priceless. Something to the tune of: so because I'm a writer, I can have the confidence to write but have to outsource my vision of the cover? So if the shoe is on the other foot and I've made a beautiful picture, I should hire a writer because I can't be trusted to write the story I see with it?

Some artists are lucky enough to dodge this hypocrisy. If they manage to have an acceptable level of talent, humility and are safe/non-threatening enough anyway... There are a lot of insecurities in large writing communities and sometimes having a 'fall-back' plan is met with the accusation that you aren't serious enough to have a single discipline. I once remarked that I would love to have a Master's degree so I could fall back on teaching when I couldn't meet the demands of a full time artist and, despite the fact that I'm actually a passionate person that would make a great teacher, all my detractor could focus on was that teaching was not a fall-back plan and should be a first choice. I can't agree with that. Many people find their passions AFTER they follow the curiosity to try it. In fact, it's often the over-zealous that dive headfirst with enthusiasm and realize they're not cut out for it. None of us are under any obligation to stick with something we are not measuring up to. Why not try to be a teacher, a guru, a muse? My muse is certainly a temp sometimes and one that whines about vacations while beating me into submission.

Here's the thing. I can't convince you of anything, no matter what I tell you. Many of you have your own ideas of what I am and what I write and if I deserve a reward for my hard work or whether my misery is important for your 'I told you so' philosophy. Most of the people who reach out to me love what I do, love my sense of humor, think I'm sweet, etc.  It's certainly a matter of quality rather than quantity.  To answer the five questions above, I don't know what to put in my bio, I write fantasy that speaks to my psyche, I can't possibly prove I'm more serious, being a woman writing fantasy in a woman's voice is not going to enlighten you to my abilities, and no one can invalidate me if I didn't seek their approval to begin with.

You aren't wrong that any artist wants their work to be looked at and even loved, but the world can't come crashing down if it isn't. It's not as simple as being a livelihood and mostly it's not even a choice. I can't tell you how many days I woke up and begged my brain to give my hands and eyes a break but ended up working exhausted anyway. Creativity can be downright parasitic and just as deadly if we try to detach from it. There's a reason the suicidal artist is an eye-rolling generalization. It is so built into some of us that trying to suppress it makes us horrible to be around.

You may have also noticed that artists often have to bleed on the paper. It's in these vulnerable moments where people want to latch on. Bestsellers can be safe but if you want a story to stick, it has to get its claws in you and leave a trace in your blood.

The younger writers want you to fall in love with their characters. I have almost never even cared a little. I can't tell you how many times these characters are so generically laden with flaws and strengths designed to be likable or repellent. Real characters, raw characters, are not like that. I fall in love with the weathered characters, the ones that never wanted to be heroes or villains. Take out 'heroes and villains'. How about liberals and conservatives? Artists and coal miners? Introverts and extroverts? Where's the right or wrong in the opposites? Because of that, I don't beg you to like my characters. If I'm doing it right, they're your annoying best friend or your rival you secretly admire. I write stories that you let you feel any damn way you want and possibly ask yourself if that's how you really feel and none of that hurts the story. Did you sympathize with the sadistic psychopath? Does that makes you feel like a monster or merciful? Will you keep reading to learn more about yourself?

How's that for a pitch?