Encourage, Don't Discourage

Working with other writers for an anthology is a wholly new experience for me and one that puts diplomacy to the test. We are individual authors, all with very different styles, audience and intent so there's going to be a little squirming.

It came time to choose cover designs for the anthology and one of the writers was a little brutal but not wrong about her critique of the choices. I won't go into details but she then posted what she thought of as better designs which ticked off another one of the collaborators. It didn't devolve into all-out battle but it reinforced what I've learned about diplomacy.

From the onset, I don't think that the design abilities of said covers were irredeemable. I've seen decent work from her in the past and it's clear there's some potential and she wants to grow and learn. Really, the worst you can do is tell someone you can do it better, this is how you should do it, or just let someone else do it. I've said it before but we all start somewhere and sometimes it can take years upon years to reach proficiency. It's through failure that you grow and through application that you learn what people want to see. If you treat everything like a secret and put nothing out there, you work in an echo chamber.

While I agreed that the designs as they were might hurt sales, that's not a helpful assessment in moving forward. Instead, I picked one that I thought was best then added suggestions about what elements to tweak to make them work. Things to try, things that might help her see for herself what works. Diplomacy is not something I came by overnight. My nature is more than a little impulsive so it did take years to make it a habit. Some people fear that diplomacy is about ass-kissing, watering down your voice or some other nonsense. Diplomacy done well creates listeners and clarifies your points, making people more likely to respect and respond to your ideas.

It's not censorship to consider the weight of your words. It's making sure they do not go to waste, that they aren't misunderstood. The internet is full of people who 'speak their mind' and how often are those people phased out and ignored because they are heavy handed? Self-expression is important but do your words really represent your potential? You don't need to sacrifice wit or humor or style to be diplomatic. In fact, a bit of forethought can enhance it.

While I certainly have the skills to say 'just let me do it', I have to admit I want to push people to grow rather than succumb to my own ego or impatience. I am often inspired by things outside of myself and it seems inspiration is even amplified if I am inspired by someone I've inspired. It's much better to create a creative loop! Feed off of each other, outside of comparison or skill, just feed on the shared experiences.