Dolly Days

So I wrote a bit on the Coronavirus, but I also wanted to post a little update on some of my projects.

UnHeard editing is at a go again. The word count is at about 100K and I'm sweeping through to look for factual and grammatical errors before I continue writing. There is still much original writing and plotting to be done, but I wanted to get my ducks in order before I went ahead with it. There are a few parts nagging me to rearrange and rewrite before proceeding.

Dolls! Dolls, dolls, dolls. I rearranged myself because not one, but two dolls are going to be getting here in the next month. The Hyperon sculpt that will become Maxim from UnHeard, for one, but I also found the perfect sculpt (which I sadly don't know the name for) for his stubborn counterpart, Princess Endramena ir Hyaren. Although I had been debating getting the Iplehouse Aria sculpt for her, I stumbled on her in a wider search and she more resembled my drawings. Although I do think Aria needs to be in my collection someday, I haven't yet found a project for her, so that will wait. It's most important for me to work on the projects that align with the materials I already have. My craft bins are quite full to near overflowing, so I'm working on making rooms and completion rather than collection of more materials!

My dolls do all have faceups now. The Hyperon sculpt will come with one, but I ordered Mena's sculpt without one, really wanting to do a resin face-up for a change and the different challenges that come with it. I'll get to break out my airbrush and sealant I bought for that purpose as well as play with gouache and acrylics for her eyes and lips. I've done most of my previous faceups with watercolor pencils and chalk pastels (which will still be used for blushing and lashes), so paints are both bane and curiosity.

Now, I don't expect mine to look exactly like the wonderful pictures, but I'll share Maxim and Mena's sculpts here:

Maxim

Endramena

So Maxim will actually have dark hair and lighter eyes and I've gotten the tan skin option for both of them, since they come from an island nation (doesn't make much sense to be pale there). His look will feature a lot of black and gold, leather and embroidery and armor. The sculpt here is a bit softer a look than I'm going for. Maxim is a bit of a hardened character.

As for Mena/Endramena, her very turquoise eyes will be the change since the tan skin option is shown here. I may do her lips in more of a red color, but I do like the coral/peach look here too. Again, she'll have dark hair like Maxim and she's getting an impressively long black wig that will be a blast to style. I see a lot of turquoise and golds for her, though I'm trying to steer clear of the whole Princess Jasmine look... It's probably still going to resemble her anyway.

So, I have plans, but things might turn out vastly different, depending on where my whims take me.

Although Rienna is mostly finished, I removed the teardrop from her belt and replaced it with a shell button that looks more like the source material. I put her wild hair back to try to train the curls not to take over her face. Eventually I'll style the wig or make a new one, but I'm moving on.

Talia, my fire dancer, also mostly done, still needs scarves and a headdress, but I've since bought some large beads and jump-rings that I need to complete those. Ordered by mail so when they get here is integral to when they'll be finished. I have specific plans for how those will be finished.

So, without further ado, I'm hopping back over to editing. Again, be safe with all the crazy going on out there, and I hope you're inspired to do some projects of your own!

Finishing Things

Three day weekend, woot, woot!

I had to start off by saying that. Hella busy week at the restaurant so I am more than happy for a break. And some good news! I got this blanket done:

TA-DAAAAA!

As well as receiving my latest doll in the mail.

The tan lady on the right

She's actually the last one I plan on getting for a while until I actually finish up the others. I still have to learn to use my airbrush machine and plan for some sculpting for some of the other parts of projects-- a Nendoroid's ears and feet, Rienna's armor, whatever else. I feel like I'm mentally lazy with that list right now. I have several different types of clay though that are meant for quite a few projects and I'm not entirely sure how far I was going with that anyway.

In any case, my new doll, I actually bought the face-up, clothes and wig for so that's not a custom job. I really just wanted a finished doll to gawk at and maybe inspire me to finish the others. Especially since my two boys would be the easiest to go ahead and finish. It's the girls that will take me a while.

'Specially with Rienna always under construction...

I'm also crocheting a Simon Belmont for my friend Joe. Crocheting is one of those nice in-betweeners these days while I sort out the rest.

Beefy baby-man in progress

And yes, writing was done. The only thing I'm neglecting these days is drawing, but I'll get back to that in my own time. The writing is going well enough... even though I feel like I'm being kind of mentally lazy with that too. It's not really a cardinal sin for a first draft to be kinda lazy though. I'll be able to dress it up in edits as long as I can make it at least partially coherent.

So tomorrow, more crochet and whatever else. You know me by now; enjoying the random. Letting the impulses lead since my muse is an asshole mostly. I'll see if she feels like playing tomorrow. Or not. I can manage.

When the weather is nice again, I'm hoping my dolls will be ready for some photo shoots. So I guess I better get cracking on them before spring springs up! But to be honest, this cold weather is ripe for writing. And drawing, if I feel like it.

Seriously, I sound like the world's worst procrastinator, but we all know that's... not really like me at all. I don't have clear intent for plans in the first place.

And that's probably the secret to happiness. Eschew expectation, comparison, and if you have nothing planned, you can't procrastinate! Sounds good to me.

All in all, I have to say I do love finishing things. It's not often that I get to say that because I rarely choose small projects. Everything has small steps and progress, but sometimes I like to save things for a big reveal. Other times, I just have to show anything at all. If only because I love to share.

Slow Start

As it turns out, I haven't *yet* gotten going on NaNoWriMo and it's Day 7. On previous years, I was pretty much halfway done or more by this point, but life got in the way. November 1st, work. November 2nd, a wonderful wine tasting trip with dear friends Erika and Phil. November 3rd until now? Bad cold. I'm taking antibiotics and steroids but I'm still not quite human. I worked today and I work tomorrow, so it's looking like Saturday is where I stumble to the starting line in Heelies and dangling from the bumper of a drag-racing jalopy.

But I'll get there, armed with a Slender Blush wine from Country Heritage Winery in LaOtto, Indiana. Going to have to order some more of it too, since they do ship to Ohio now, but my humble bottle will get me toasty and raring to go for an awesome word sprint.

I do this while juggling time with my nephews, school, work, life, so it's a challenge but I'm not panicking. The 50K words is a chip in the full demand of this story anyway so even if the goal is made, there's much more to do. I may be throwing out a short story anthology, continuations of both of my series, come my mother's birthday, just so I can put out something then. Neither rushing UnHeard too much nor unable to put out something worthwhile.

I only plan on working at Sports Page until the Christmas break before I crack down on my projects full time again. Money is nice, but passion isn't something I find worthwhile to ignore. I don't mind being less affluent in order to delve into my projects fully again.

Ah, as for doll projects, those are being chipped away at, if not in actual work then in acquiring more pieces to make the work possible. I've been, er, collecting more dolls at that. I have three tinies, one medium girl, three large girls and a large boy now, some with plans, some just keeping me salivating with possibilities. I also have a cinnamon toned Nendoroid that I plan on modding to become Dinsch, my rabbit hybrid (Bryfolk) character. I have most of the parts. Just waiting on some gouache paints to start some of these faceups. I was going to do acrylic but I've seen a lot of advice that gouache is a lot easier to work with for a beginner and I am, unquestionably, a beginner in the doll world.

Rienna, the first of them, currently has her garters, dyed bathing suit/leotard and wig done. I have yet to sculpt her armor, make her boots and carve her sword, but I'm being rather fiddly with these parts since I keep looking for advice before diving in, making sure I'm investing in the best pieces before diving in. I have several clays, fabrics, and woods to work with, so if one isn't going well, I'll be able to minimize frustration by hopping to another option.

In any case, I'm off to start an adventure with Linux for a friend, so do wish me luck, if you have it in you. I'm a very busy woman and wouldn't have it any other way!

BJD Clothes: Swimsuit Part 1

This one might get broken up over time a bit, but I'll keep the tags going so they can be found easily.

For this one, I just took a PDF of a bathing suit I found and put it together in Illustrator then modified it. Rienna's body piece has three panels, dark blue on the sides of her body, light blue in the middle. The pattern I found only did the split panel in the front so I took the back pieces, split them and redrew them as separate pieces. It ended up looking something like this:

This, but with the right piece split.

Insofar, I've only cut the pattern pieces, pinned the pattern to the fabric and cut the pieces, so I can't show a finished product just yet. What comes next is a matter of fussing and altering to get the benefit of the stretchy fabric I'm using, as well as any difference between a doll's torso and the design being made for an actual person. I edited out the chest lining and I'm not using the piece at the top of the pattern either, the bottom lining, since a lining in a doll bathing suit is both way too extra and would deform the streamlined look I'm going for. The fabric I'm using is semi-transparent so if there's too much show-through, I do have a solid suit pattern and can reinforce it with a different fabric.

I guess, just in review, I can at least list off what else I have planned for the outfit. Plan may change but for now, the shoulder guards, breastplate, and hip plates will be modeled out of clay (trying both baking and air dry varieties). The sword may similarly be a clay sculpt, but I have decided on that yet. A cape with neck draping is probably the simplest element, to be done with blue velvet. I'm also making thigh high boots with rubber soles. As for the adornments to her outfit, I have an assortment of rhinestones and pearls so that part will just be on a whim. Also, still working on the wig, but I need to order more glue.

I'm also planning Talia, but so far, I've only planned her scarves, leotard and hair. Her design is meant to be simple but stunning, all fiery colors with only her eyes the hottest part of the flame- blue! I'm anxious to see it done, but in no hurry to throw it together since patience and precision is far more important than haste.

Will I be selling these? I've already been asked, but no, not my 'prototypes'. Once I'm confident in the build, I may be up for selling some customs, but for now, call this one purely a hobby. I tried to rush into making a business out of crochet and it nearly crushed my love for it. Having people back out and haggle and nag has made me seriously think out how I will sell my art and to whom. I keep my selling circle very small, limited to those who truly appreciate and understand the time and talent that goes into a great piece. I earned the right to call my work professional and one can call it arrogance, but let them. Hand-crafted pieces are treasures and the prices are a motivation to treat them all the more irreplaceable. Expect to pay a living wage for any craft you obtain.

In any case, I'll get to more blogging as I get it done. Hope you'll find it helpful or just enjoy the updates to the process!

Write What Will Never See the Light

I took a long hiatus...

From ambition, from discipline, from the ever-growing list of rules. Over the past month, I've indulged in reflection. I roughly sketch out ideas and doodles and steered clear of major projects with big goals. I carefully shopped for pieces of my doll project and contemplate what I might still need but they sit in a myriad pile of boxes unstaffed while the way I want to tackle them actually changes bit by bit with new inspiration.

I dream of changes to UnHeard's draft. Some I've added, some I'm still uncertain of and become notes. There's been no look at word count, no minding the words for an audience just yet. I reverted to private journaling because there is something stilted about many of these public posts that I couldn't quite place. Whether I was holding something back or struggling with the inability to keep to a topic, I'm not quite sure, but I do know that I needed to change gears.

I bought a second doll without finishing the first. As Rienna grew in my mind, I saw Talia warring for space to grow a physical form. No, not literally. I haven't decided to jump ship and talk about my characters as if they have a mind of their own. I simply thought of my early drawing of her, the wild flame of her dancer costumes, those blue eyes and fire engine red hair and knew she'd be cropping up in the scheme of things. 

I'd love to do a doll version of a male character but I find too many of the affordable male dolls are generic if not crude builds. The female bodies and faces are many and the males, if having any muscle detail at all, tend to be boyish. While some of my male characters are young, I want to realize the string mass, stubble and broad strength of my oldest characters more. I see Corvus or Eredin or the mercenary, the hardened bitterness of Melchior.

I might have loved the boyish characters when I was younger, but my scars have been more drawn to those creased and mature faces, those eyes that squint in caution and swallow light rather than wide-eyed and reflecting it. The female characters are their own enigma. They war with their youthful appearance, sometimes determined to show the strength of femininity, sometimes striving to be androgynous or childlike so that gender isn't the way people assume their roles. 

In a way, that's a piece of my struggle too. I didn't play with dolls because it's what girls were supposed to do. I don't exactly play with dolls now. I try to evoke from them all the forms womanhood can take in pain and triumph. To enjoy an aesthetic rather than model myself to it. To separate and join with a construct I still struggle to understand.

So things are moving much slower, but I haven't been fighting to catch a fast wave. Like all good things, it's not as wonderful when all of it is forcing the effort. In all my journaling that will never see the light of day, I find a few shiny bits that may after all. And remember not to treat every word so sacred.

Double Post Time!

I was going to think of some eye-rolling, groan-worthy pun for dolls to hint at the reason for jumping into another post, but pretend I did, just enough that you're not actually irritated but still motivated to keep reading.

I got one of my doll parts today for Project Rienna! In case you're just tuning in to my aimless blog, I'm going to attempt to make a doll version of my cover art character on my second book, The Truth about Heroes: Two Sides to Everything. In case you haven't read it, which is more likely true, it's a series that explores an array of magical themes, intertwined with the all-too-human struggle for truth and happiness in a world balanced between grotesque realities and prevalent hope.

Damn, Gina, why can't I blurb like that when I actually need to?

In any case, Rienna isn't exactly a favorite, unless you count her being a sentimental first since she was the reason why I started it. She's not particularly exceptional in deed or spirit. This wasn't made to be a hero character, already sure they wanted to save the world or right some wrong. She seems awkward, sometimes reckless, all to certain, as most young adults are, that the world just needs to be taught how to treat her and everything would be simple.

When Rienna starts to begrudgingly take on more, it has little to do with a moral sense of justice. She simply concedes to taking on burdens on her single-minded mission. She'd sooner go through or around obstacles and be done it with, but her cold resolution does clash with aspects of her character she isn't consciously aware of. She hefts another weight and continues on, if only for fear that inaction will make her face the consequences.

So yes, I have a soft spot for her, but I could say the same about any of them. For me, the decision to make a doll of her came from that cover art. While I'm never actually married to what my characters 'should' look like, I truly enjoyed creating an aesthetic for her cover art and it's that aesthetic that I wanted to carry over into another medium.

I'm not much of a painter so I did order a face-up for the head. It wears a softer more neutral expression than my cover portrays, but the lips, minimal makeup, and silver-grey eyes on the doll head were just too perfect. The eyebrows and eyelashes even have that hint of copper I wanted. Show, don't tell though, right?

I haven't yet liberated the head from the protective packaging since the body is still in transit, but I lifted the face guard to steal a quick picture of her.

So many doll heads tend to have the sad orphan look so I love that this one is just a neutral expression that isn't forcing a mood. It's easy enough for me to take pictures and digitally modify expressions to enhance a mood so an easily editable expression is preferred.

I don't have plans to be exactly faithful to the source image, of course. I'd like to get more detailed with ornamental work. While drawn armor can be physically unlikely, I'll have to design the clothes and armor to actually stay on and not hinder the body, as well as be removable as necessary. It will take a lot of critical thinking and adjustments. I'm no fashion designer and my sewing skills are only passing, so I'll have to learn a lot as I go.

Either way, I'm excited. A hands-on project is always an exciting prospect for me. I hope to be able to post some progress shots, maybe tutorials, as I go. At the very least, a project can always help people learn what not to do.

Containers and Voids

One thing creatives all have in common is the need to feed their soul. Okay, that's more of a human condition in general, but what makes a creative type more capable of pumping out work and staying busy is largely dependent on filling an endless void.

Everyone has a container, a capacity for satisfaction to overflow. However, a creative often doesn't have that. Ha, I guess that probably sounds ridiculously sad, to say that the capacity for satisfaction is somehow slimmer, but it's not quite that pathetic. No, inside that void, where ideas are endlessly poured and just as quickly syphoned away, the creative just has to make waves, to catch those juicy streams and shoot them over the brim. So rather than dribble down the glass, as a full container might, a creative becomes a sort of tamer of dreams. 

Of course, forcing those pieces to become something means it takes a lot more control to gather them to fill the audience's containers. Much like working as a waitress, I have 50 ideas in play (or 50 drinks to refill) and it's become more than just filling glasses, but finding the ones who wanted them to begin with.

Nothing is worse for a creative than a void that is simply a vacuum. Which is why it's just as important to find enough outside of our heads to throw into it. Turn it into a blender and find more to gather from. It doesn't mean you HAVE to travel or party every night. Sometimes it means just laying on the floor and playing with cats or watching the rain slap and slither along your windows.

Spending too much time unloading into a word processor or sketching lines... Sometimes, those things just stop flowing and, as a creative, it could cause a panic. Shouldn't the thing you love come, good or bad, as easily as breathing? Of course, no one actually thinks it's easy, but productivity often suffers for lack of those inspirational connections.

As I've said before, writing and drawing are my primary focal points, but I have a lot of hobbies, things I simply enjoy to keep things going. Sure, some people have that one thing they tend to stick to, but the most prolific creators I know are the ones that don't hit full panic mode when that one thing isn't what they want to do. They tend to immediately realize that they have other aspects of their life to work on: a 5 mile jog they wanted to do, a book to read, animals to pet. Some even have sporadic hobbies, things they might also be great at, but definitely just enjoy, if not. Maybe they only connect with it a few times a year, but even if it's work, it refreshes them like a vacation might.

So I guess this is the best time to segue into what made me want to build up with that: doll making. I'm not particularly amazing at it, if only because I'm not a terrific traditional painter or fashion designer. It falls under the category of something I sometimes enjoy. I get a lot of compliments on my second book cover:

Yep, this one...

And I've always wanted to start doing a custom build on a 1/3 scale doll. I've done customs on Barbie sized dolls (which are 1/6 scale) and it's pretty tough working with a model that small. I saved up some money and finally bought the doll parts I liked. Although I had the face pre-painted and the fishnets will be pre-made, I decided I'd craft and sew the other elements myself. And that includes wefting the wig and molding armor this time around.

I'm really excited to attempt to recreate her. It's a project very likely to get me back into my own blender state that inspires writing and drawing more again.

Not that I ever go cold turkey with writing and drawing. I'd just like it to fill more of my day again, but I just haven't been hyperfocused on it. Reconnecting is often about the very intricate nature of inspiration.

So I'm never really trying to fill the void nor trying to attain overflowing satisfaction, just keep the muse twisting around in ecstasy, wherever we meet.

Power Hours

My waitressing job isn't tough. It's even pretty fulfilling and good for my social development. It's also a compressed three hour (sometimes a little longer) shift, which is so much better than running around or standing for an 8-hour shift. On a slow day, I still pull $50.

But damn, it drains physically like I ran a marathon. Not quite tired enough to nap, but not really awake enough to do more than vegetate with Netflix or Hulu. At best, I might sit up to scribble down notes on what I'd like to do when I have more energy.

Well, last night, I printed off and added borders to another 100 business cards. That took about two and a half hours so it wasn't too time-consuming. It was pretty much the slow wait of them printing then folding and perforating, followed by sorting border colors, rolling on tape, cutting excess, rinse repeat. I like the sort of mindlessness of it because it gives me room to daydream or just quiet my thoughts, sort of meditative.

Tomorrow, I'm going to peruse website layouts, pick those out, pick HTML colors (they'll match my business cards; a mix of cream, warm browns, and a dusty purple accent), organize photos, then let Joe do his magic. I was only putting that off until I could test print the business cards, make color adjustments, then decide how the site colors would play into that.

Writing might happen, but really, I'm anxious to finish Totem. Writing is something more natural to step away from but art seems to have a window for whether it will be finished or I'll get distracted by a shinier visual desire.

I'll be ordering a doll base soon, with the hopes of customizing her to look like one of my female characters. It's difficult to find the right male doll parts. They tend to be generic, boyish (rather than masculine adult), and limited, which is why it's much more tempting to customize a female. Now, Iplehouse, one of my absolute favorite BJD manufacturers, sells the most amazing male forms, but I'm not quite in a place where I could display, protect or maintain such expensive dolls so that option is not a short-term goal. If I had the room for a big display cabinet and even more to spend on the base bodies, let alone outfitting them, I'd have two foot tall versions of at least a few of my characters, but for now, I can dream. It's a much higher priority to juggle inexpensive hobbies with my career ambitions than it is to blow every cent on showstopper pieces.

Of course, there's crochet too. I'm still waiting on a few yarn colors to come in the mail so that's on hold until then too. I tend to buy inexpensive but ridiculously soft milk cotton yarn from overseas. Unless I can hit a yarn sale locally, most US companies charge more for less impressive yarn. As much as I love to support local businesses, especially since I'm leery of supporting countries where labor laws are inhumane, yarn is one of those supplies that goes fast and takes a lot for anything but small projects, so it's just as distasteful to spend more for less quality and yardage. Yarn production isn't one of those things that even needs heavy manual labor to produce, just someone to inspect and fix the machines that spin, color and label yarn.

Time to stare at some show I'm only half watching for now. Much to choose from but I have a good idea where to focus my priorities once I've rested.