Tuesday, September 19, 2017

I Like That Shit...


Yeah, yeah!  Me too!

I gotta say, one of them good feels is seeing my library of work gradually growing.  I just can't get over it...  Imma smoosh 'em...

 Smooooooosh...

I can't resist, it's just... it's just...  So much work put into making this happen.  A few hours of entertainment for everyone else, years of painstaking passion and vision for me.  It's kinda like weight loss.  By the time, people notice, they don't see all the hard work, but you have to know how much they put into it.  They can't stop talking about it or can't stop talking about what their next fitness goal is.  If you have a passion in something, you tend to seek people you won't absolutely annoy with it.  Nobody's trying to hear about my love affair with Staedtler and Sakura Pigma Sensei pens... except for the beloved fellow nutjobs that get that tingle watching it move across the page like I do!
You know who you are!

I love to share, yeah, but it's just as fun to let people gush over their interests, to bring their own theories and discussions into my work.  I mean, you can tell me I'm trashy and gross and perverted too, but I'm probably going to take it as a compliment.  Not everything I write is of that sort, but this is what a lot of us ladies do.  It has little to nothing to do with girl power or excluding men.  I've had plenty of discussion with my best gal pal and literature is just a good clean sexual outlet for women sometimes and it's a-okay if you don't get it.  I know, it's really confusing when I pair up smart theories and lore with intimacy of the good and bad kind and make everyone figure out what it means to them, but yeah, some of you not only GET it, but you love it!  And thank you, thank you, thank you, for supporting and encouraging that.  Suppression is bad, unleashing the beast and embarrassing a few unsuspecting people is NOT BAD.  It's okay to be challenged and not like it.  I love you for trying anyway!

That being said, it's been a difficult journey learning how to distance myself and be objective with my work.  Hell, as much as I've read it, I sometimes love it and hate it.  I think some of my favorite books might not be my favorite on a reread either. Literature is largely about bottling a mood and as much as I would like to repeat an experience, sometimes the nostalgia just has to do.  I have to admit, I have always chosen a new experience over reliving a good one.  I like to keep the good ones a good memory and attempt to build more from new experience.

Anyhoooo, for all the hard work and isolation, I love my forays into writing groups and fanfic.  It's been a good experience to hit that publish button and anxiously await feedback.  I'll admit, I need some more brutality though.  Sometimes these groups are a hugbox and you grow more when people give pushback.  Don't get me wrong, I love when people are supportive and such, but negative feedback can be done diplomatically and it's a little used art.  Superfans are great, but I like my trolls too.  As long as they're insulting my work specifically to show they actually paid attention, it's all good.  

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