Why not talk romantic and sexual love today rather than wax on the semantics of different kinds of love?
I can't say for certain why women so often want to write about love and romance. Historically, it's what we've been superficially told we care most about but never for the actual reasons. more often than not, it's because what we want out of it is still a kind of social taboo. We're talking about it more now, but our bodies and needs are still dismissed as crass. It's still weirdly acceptable for sex to be one-sided and shallow, but really icks people out if it's emotional and intense. We're allowed to get raunchy in all-girl spaces or with our partner, but we're still shamed if we dare to step outside of those places.
Sex and love are topics we should be able to discuss in classrooms, break rooms, not giggling awkwardly behind hand-covered mouths. Why is it treated so solemnly or so primitively? Is the mystery and intrigue in romance, courting and sex ever truly dulled when we know how to talk dirty, what hole does what, and why consent is pretty straightforward when the chemistry is actually there?
Why are so many women championing the inclusion of sex in literature without it being reduced to rags? Certainly because men have been allowed to write it any way they please and not have it thrown into the romance pile. Because men can write sex clean, dirty, shallow, deep and end up being called classic, profound, insightful.
Why do women object to being thrown in the romance pile? Because our suspense, nerd fantasy, genre specific work is not light and fluffy. As a smart women who likes light and fluffy, I know that while it's a genre that does inspire me, my shit doesn't fit there. Just because I'm a woman that isn't afraid to write sex doesn't mean every plot is cemented around it.
All love and sex is dumb. It doesn't operate on logic, but it's part of the human experience. It doesn't 'cheapen plots' or 'destroy intent' and, when you're already neck deep in the psychology and plotting, it's not an invasion of privacy to 'go there'. What is awkward, clumsy, confident, aggressive, passive about sex is part of what people sometimes wonder about and making all aspects of it taboo are precisely why cultures try to dance over consent, rape, fetishism and the stigma that surrounds it. Why give these offenders any room to claim they 'didn't know any better'?
So we are allowed to enjoy and implement what is dumb, but don't look down your nose at what is only a persistent and willful ignorance of its place in entertainment. There's a place for all sexy plots in all mediums. Intelligent subjects and dumb ones alike are put in place to offset the other--like light and dark, oil and water, fire and ice. Even if required education starts teaching us about each other's bodies and drives and responses, there are degrees of that understanding that don't fit into textbooks or the dusty, shameful sections of a smut pile. To balance that dialogue, we can't just encourage men and women to join the discussion, but we also have to consider the fluidity of sexuality that exists in all identities and genders.
Encourage writers to incorporate these subjects in more meaningful ways as well. If your knee-jerk reaction is to belittle all sex in literature, especially when the writer is a woman, you are certainly part of the problem.
I love dumb love and I love an intelligent plot. If you're in the same boat, you might enjoy my work.
All love and sex is dumb. It doesn't operate on logic, but it's part of the human experience. It doesn't 'cheapen plots' or 'destroy intent' and, when you're already neck deep in the psychology and plotting, it's not an invasion of privacy to 'go there'. What is awkward, clumsy, confident, aggressive, passive about sex is part of what people sometimes wonder about and making all aspects of it taboo are precisely why cultures try to dance over consent, rape, fetishism and the stigma that surrounds it. Why give these offenders any room to claim they 'didn't know any better'?
So we are allowed to enjoy and implement what is dumb, but don't look down your nose at what is only a persistent and willful ignorance of its place in entertainment. There's a place for all sexy plots in all mediums. Intelligent subjects and dumb ones alike are put in place to offset the other--like light and dark, oil and water, fire and ice. Even if required education starts teaching us about each other's bodies and drives and responses, there are degrees of that understanding that don't fit into textbooks or the dusty, shameful sections of a smut pile. To balance that dialogue, we can't just encourage men and women to join the discussion, but we also have to consider the fluidity of sexuality that exists in all identities and genders.
Encourage writers to incorporate these subjects in more meaningful ways as well. If your knee-jerk reaction is to belittle all sex in literature, especially when the writer is a woman, you are certainly part of the problem.
I love dumb love and I love an intelligent plot. If you're in the same boat, you might enjoy my work.
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