UnSung is Here!

This book, like all books I finish, had a very special goal. I wanted it to be a true epic entry. I'd gotten caught up in the word count for traditional publishing years ago and I always feel like it might have affected, for better or worse, how I approached writing. Instead, I removed those mental restrictions and just set out to bring in a word count that the book needed--I could get carried away, but it would still need a limit if I were to put it in paperback. There's only so much a spine can hold (or that a reader might want to hold). Luckily, with a decent font size, it still came under the 825 page limit by about 100 pages so it's definitely not stretching the next book too thin either.

Ahem, first things first. The universal book link to find the retailers is HERE but feel free to just pop into your favorite store and type in my name (Krista Gossett-- I have no clue how people are arriving here, so I'll not take chances).

UnSung is a part of the UnQuadrilogy, a series that explores the mistakes of the four Gods broadly through the messes that the humans and other creatures have to clean up. The layers come in bite-sized subplots, driven by a cast of characters of all different fantasy races and backgrounds. At least one main character tends to have a disability that also makes them more open to abilities that the 'able' do not. There are typically several plot threads that are character-driven and these tend to establish the 'chapters'. The only format that is consistent is that each book has three parts and an epilogue. The Prologue in UnSung is actually used to shift the view point from Talia's view in the Epilogue of UnNamed to some of Aiden's history and his view of events. This means that, at this point, it's not necessary to have read UnNamed (although you may appreciate knowing some of the characters reappear in UnSung and there are some Easter eggs tied into the story). UnSung does mention some of those events in passing, enough that they make sense on their own. I can't guarantee I'll keep this up for later books, since it gets more difficult (and tedious) in an epic to keep mentioning past events. For UnSung, it was not cheesy or tedious or I might have scrapped it.

In truth, it's not difficult to make at least 90% of each book completely standalone. For one, each one deals with new main characters. This is because their roles end up taking on a more significant one later. I also attempted to make it difficult to discern which of the characters is actually a 'main' character. Someone who plays a significant story-telling role may not be around for the long haul. The way the plots move serve to: 1) develop a character, 2) create an understanding of a subplot, or 3) support the main plot. I don't set out to kill or protect the characters, only to make sure each piece plays a clear role.

For this reason, it feels odd to assign each book a description. I can tell you the leading story-tellers (at least, to a point), the main plot, even some of the more significant subplots. However, knowing the books as I do, I can't really place significance on anything for you. It's a slow-burner fantasy that changes pace. It plays with politics, adventure, deceit, psychology, light and dark humor. I've always been drawn to fantasies with layers--not ones where the romance is the only driving force or constant or death and nihilism is the goal. I like it to be a multi-faceted playground that leads to a definite conclusion, yet still lets the reader keep it open to their imagination.

So-- each book concludes something. Each part concludes something. Each plot finds a conclusion. It's my hope that readers can also connect to at least one character, if not more. My expectations as a writer certainly considered what might appeal to a fan, but ultimately, my focus was on telling a complete story, yet one that I could expand on again and again.

UnNamed is already in the process of receiving more short stories. My nameless mercenary keeps me curious, keeps me wondering how his early life shaped the man he would become. The tricky thing is though that the short story spin-offs are more difficult to classify. Some of my short story spin-offs have verged into erotica, some adventure, and some seem more like investigative mysteries. I wonder if this is a sign of lacking discipline, or... Rather, I am willing to write what the story needs to be rather than restricting it to rigid requirements.

I know I'm roundabout getting to this, but UnSung starts with two scared young people, Aiden and Talia, who flee from the scene of a horrific murder, neither sure if anyone will believe they aren't responsible or that they can withstand the consequences regardless. They journey to the continent of Melikai, each trying to establish their own lives, each bothered by the whispers of a vast trade city turning ghost town. When they realize there is no such thing as a normal life for them, it leads them to extraordinary circumstances and deeper mysteries.

If I can manage to hook you for the long game, it will all become clear. As a fan of Sherlock Holmes and authors like Dean Koontz and James Patterson, I've always been a fan of dropping clues that feed you bread crumbs along the way. My characters, no matter their vocation, all play a bit of an investigative or driving role. I've said before, I don't set out to write paragraphs of self-congratulatory prose--enough to romance you to the elements, but not so much that you lose track of where you're supposed to be. If you WANT to wander in thought, I let that be your prerogative, not the hostage situation I put you in.

Between the drawing and the winter hobbyist stint, I haven't yet gone back to UnHeard. It got a huge draft boost during NaNoWriMo and I'm invading short story territory as well. UnHeard, like my other books, sometimes gets ambitious boosts (I've hit 10K in a single day more than once), sometimes a few modest 2-5K stints, sometimes dry spells because... I do more than write. I've had a few people urge me to pick an area. 

Easier said than done. I love drawing, but that's a challenge on my physical health that writing isn't, namely because I have bad habits in posture and ergonomics that I can't seem to correct without expensive equipment. Comics would be a lot more lucrative to do for me, but I need to take different risks and the planning is trickier. I'll certainly try it, but...

I do resolve to at least finish up the UnQuadrilogy first. So writing will be full-time at least for the next couple years. It won't be going away, at least as long as there are ideas I like better in that medium. However, if comics take off and I can handle the physical demands, it will become the priority.

That's a 'we'll see' situation. Being a modern artist is largely about flexibility, rather than just humping the same tree. We just don't live in a time where we can staunchly master one area, room and board a part of our apprenticeship. Certainly some can, but they are not only extremely lucky, but exceedingly rare. Most of even the most successful artists I know are rarely able to just master one area. Rather, they have to get pretty damn good at a lot of things and hope they actually like the ones that come into demand.

I loved crochet (and still do) but as a business, it sucked all the fun out of it, made it into something I didn't like. I find that writing and art don't poison in their reception, good or bad. It's easier for me to turn people down or accept/ignore criticism. With crafting, I just don't seem to have the same patience. Nevertheless, I treat it with integrity, refusing to sell crafts for peanuts. If I love you, I'll gift my work, but otherwise, don't even bother asking me to make something if you're not up to paying crafter prices. I don't fuck with negotiation or tolerate being devalued in any area. I won't demean the ones who brave the market by undercutting them. You want days of someone's life for a handcrafted piece, pay for it.

Uh-oh, someone is avoiding creativity today... (me...). I started some lifestyle changes today and the morning hours passed by fast. I might draw a bit, but really, I'm still adjusting to things that might require a bit of forgiveness for the break in ambition.

A Pre-Release Treat!

Even though I didn't end up going with this design, I'm still rather fond of UnSung's first cover design, so share time!

Remember, ebook preorders are available now but print will be on Amazon February 21st. If you can't find it through your favorite retailer, let me know and I'll look into changing that.

Thank you so much to everyone who was in on this crazy journey with me. Many of my friends endured my very fragmented babbling while I piece this series together and I can't say enough that I am grateful to anyone who lets my passions run wild. There are still two more books to write in this series, but many side tales on the wings.

Get Write on It

If you don't know much about Cincinnati, Ohio (where I live), then I'll put you a little up to speed. Over the past few years especially, our temperatures have been setting record highs and lows and erratic weather patterns that mean we no longer experience four separate seasons. We've been seeing more wildlife than we commonly had and this includes the fact that my sister was bitten by a cottonmouth snake, which is almost unheard of here. We have three 'common' venomous snakes in Ohio and that isn't one of them. And no, the house she was in was not the home of an illegal snake enthusiast. Because of the weather fluctuations, animals' migratory patterns and dormancies are out of whack. In fact, the trees almost immediately start belching out pollen at the first sign of warm weather, so it's not limited to the animals.

So that puts me here; abnormal allergies for this time of year and next to no energy. If not for the simplicity of the formatting process, thanks to Scrivener 3 and D2D for REALLY minimizing what I couldn't accomplish with Word and the usual submitting to retailers, I'd really be struggling to get that stuff done.

As is, I've found it rather difficult to get right into... anything. I've been poking at everything, but very little takes. A little crochet, a little writing, a little drawing, but nothing is really pulling me. I feel the ideas fuzzy on the edges of my brain, but the starter is clicking when I turn the key. I feel a wellness week coming on--one where I sleep, practice mindful eating, exercise and tend to allergies and low energy issues. I'd already intended to get to playing more Kingdom Hearts 3, yet I'm still a little disappointed that my creative side isn't a little more engaged. Even if it's down to crochet or making those bead sprite magnets, but no, right now, it's a bit of a vegetative consumption time.

For that reason, I think that the writing will come down to blogs or the short stories I was working on.

I would like to throw up the UBL for UnSung: use this link to purchase/preorder it from your favorite retailer. Or you can look me up by name on any major retailer. If you don't see it on yours, drop me a message and I'll look into it. I try to keep an eye on every channel, but on occasion, especially for my earlier books, there can be holes in what's available where.

Oh, for the record, my sister is doing fine. The finger is actually healing better than expected, but she is still being tested daily for blood infections and any change in the finger. It appears to be draining well and while there is little feeling in it, there is great circulation. So far, no sign that the finger will need to be amputated but it may be another week or so before they know for sure.

It's a good time to remind everyone that, with a snake bite, get to a hospital immediately. Even with non-venomous bites, there are serious risks for infection, including salmonella, and every second is crucial in survival. Don't leave these things up to chance.

It's Not Really a New Year's Resolution, But...

I guess the next round qualifies, doesn't it? I work this last weekend of WinterFest before the UpShift list grows bleak for a while, at least for someone with my timeframe. I'd already planned to devote January to UnSung's 2019 release, as well as that dentist appointment falling smack dab on the first of the year. This will also be the same month I devote myself to sloughing off the winter weight, looking into a doctor who can help me uncover the mystery of why exercise usually means more muscle gain than weight loss for me.

So while it's not a proper resolution, it certainly falls under a timeframe liberated from the crunch of gift making and temp work, a time when I can get geared up for ComicCon and future goals.

I feel the near-sighted trepidation of a busy weekend and the healing of these ornery teeth. Yet in the middle of that, I'm looking forward to going to WinterFest with my family as guests and our sit-in New Year celebration involving wine (the delightfully non-alcoholic sparkling sort for the kiddies) and a slew of board games. So it's not all crunch time, just activities that will require energy I'll really have to reach for.

Yet I see it there, just past that-- the closing of another book, which will be my eleventh. I see the gratifying hard work as I brush up the cover and format it for print and ebook. I see the excitement of returning to UnHeard, my NaNoNovel, to make it into an epic third entry to the world I never named. Only the continents, some of the cities and the smaller elements grow in increasing revelation, an homage to how blurry the world can get on the broad and distant edges. Even my most well-traveled characters are subject to how the world moves behind their backs.

I love how writing is so full of these little treasures of the writer. It's not just full of what we know, but what we reach for, what we want to know, yet still never quite get. Like sand art, we endeavor to create these rainbow layers, but no matter how much we try to pack it tight so the gap doesn't disrupt the sands, disturbances and time always break it down further when it's bumped around.

Rather than try so carefully not to disturb the balance, there is a moment when we must accept that stories are subject to forces that even care cannot preserve. Instead of trying to make the sands cooperate, we must appreciate the beauty of not only what it was but what it becomes.

I truly anticipate going back to that uncertainty. I've never been held back by doubt when it comes to creativity, at least not in this stage of my life. In truth, all through my life, what I've done even leisurely is somehow always magnified by people in wonder of what I sometimes took for granted. From the comics I threw onto lined notebooks in grade school to the fluorescent fairies I hid around the flower shop I worked in, there was always unexpected joy in having what I created for myself spied over my shoulder, the unchecked sounds of admiration for ways I filled my time and calmed my mind.

So why wouldn't I want to find the guts to share it? Truly, the response was worth it, but I was undoubtedly fragile. It took many years to forge myself into a creature that understood how criticism should be taken, to improve myself or ignore it altogether.

Let's be real here (as if I'm ever not) and observe that the 'suck it up, buttercup' sentiment is bullshit. It worked for older generations, for a time when opportunities were abundant, but even in cutthroat competitive areas nowadays, it does you little good. Sticking it out nowadays means it's not healthy to suck up all that poisonous tripe. Those generations didn't have the ruthlessness of keyboard warriors and doxxing that could make or break who you are. We don't need to suck that garbage up. We need to turn it into something useful and send it out. We need to strategize, to build armies, to be the arbiters of our own fate because letting others define us is dangerous.

And, really, I don't know anyone who says that who isn't sitting comfortably in a niche that is working for them. 

Closing on a light note, I love squirrels. Not just watching the silly bastards, but how much their constant bustling seems completely carefree even with such purpose to it. How, once they make it to the top of a tree, they don't just puff up in pride. They look for the next great adventure with no hint of complacency. It's no wonder so many writers consider them a fitting mascot.

When It's Good, It's Good

Despite how trite these words of wisdom are, it is what it is. I could do this forever, but what I'm getting at is that reaching a goal isn't always cause to celebrate. Or at least not for long.

After reaching 50K for NaNoWriMo on the 15th, my story was just on fire. There was no way I was putting it down to go back and edit, not when my current drafting efforts are falling together in ways I hadn't planned. 

The first time I ever heard that people don't find sequels as good as the first one directed at books, I was stunned. Sure, with movies, I get it. There's a whole team of people dumping ridiculous amount of money into a product they hope will start a full-blown franchise. For most writers, we learn that it can take a lot of damp matches to even light a candle let alone hope to set the world's imagination ablaze.

I've said before that I always feel like my first book of a series is weakest in retrospect. I know it's not the best business practice to make it seem lackluster when it's supposed to be the flagship that keeps up the journey. UnNamed excited me. Yet UnSung thrilled me. Working on UnHeard absolutely enthralls me. In a way, I feel like I may want to consider writing the first three books of any series before releasing anything. Why? Because I see a pattern of only feeling completely confident about the world I begin once I've established three books. My first series struck the same chord; in each trilogy, the third book always felt like the strongest.

UnNamed is almost too quick a read despite being nearly 90K. UnSung's massive word count really helped me pace the characters and discoveries and I'm finding the same colorful spread even more fully realized in UnHeard. I won't rewrite UnNamed unless there's some overwhelming call for it, but I feel like I might have thrown in another huge growth and wealth of story if I were going back to redraft it.

Of course, I'm playing with the idea of some short stories. A few branching from UnNamed's history, at least one brewing from UnSung. The UnSung one actually wedges in between UnSung and UnHeard but not in the series format that would make it fit. It would detail an event that will be vaguely mentioned sometimes but completely unnecessary to the main plot. I'm rather a stickler for not developing anything that doesn't link directly to the main plot so it's definitely a spin-off.

All the same, as a writer, I'm embracing the idea that plans are suggestions. I didn't expect to want to keep writing UnHeard. It was supposed to help build confidence in the continuing story but it became an entity all its own.

If I can offer any advice, it's this-- don't squander those hard pulls. Some writers might take that too narrowly. I do see quite a few that post those memes about starting five new stories on impulse but that's not as widely relatable as the Internet would have you believe. I'm never short on ideas, but I don't find those pulls affect me in the way I mean this. Those instant impulses are more along the lines of a hard tug, whiplash away from the scary finish. It's not that I don't have them, it's just that I don't place value on them when what I really want is the long pull.

It's not exactly beginner's advice because, like your first childhood crushes, all of the pulls/tugs feel important. It took years of introspection to understand the weight of impulses, to learn which ideas to flirt with and which to court. The 'years' part is subjective, having little to do with wisdom, age, experience or maturity. You just stop relating to the ones who complain they don't have enough ideas or have too many once you know it. You always have the right amount of ideas and adapt to how they present themselves.

I write almost obsessively despite this cold kicking my ass still because this is a pull and it makes me truly excited to follow it for days on end. If it had been an impulse, some false lead, it would have faded in a couple hours.

Don't mistake this as some statement for the superiority of epic-length novels. Anything that keeps you excited to keep going past a couple hours qualifies in this example. Pulls need time. You can get bursts from poetry or flash fiction but until you're pouring those into compilations, it's just not the same (coming from someone who was a burst writer). Again, if you're using the flirt/court analogy, then you're looking at the difference between a one night stand and a love affair. A text message and a shoebox full of love letters. Bursts are amazing and valuable but if you're lamenting that you'll never finish a novel as something that matters to you, then you're looking for the pull. Until you learn to swat the distractions, the chances of producing those larger goals are really slim.

Think about what else in your life could stand to improve by limiting those pesky impulses. Or just embrace the hot mess. 

For the hell of it, I'll just wrap it up by saying I'm at the 71K+ mark now. It's way over the goal, but why not see if I can make it to 100K?  Certainly seems doable at this rate.

Thought Dumps

I'm going to enjoy a little aimlessness here. Let's start with the NaNo word count: 34,477. That's twice the minimum daily average still, but I'll keep it up (and more) as much as possible. I don't hate reaching goal halfway through the month, for sure. I do have a couple of Thanksgivings to tuck in and if I'm mentally done with drafting, I can take a break or switch to editing or designing.

Moving on...

One thing that is becoming a habit is the increasing amount of time I'm spending coming up with back stories or subplots. Even as a gamer, these were always my favorite parts of gaming. The parts that were rarely ever told through action or skill-- just the emotional, intense, sometimes even vague developments that don't always reach the page. I more often use these rough events to internally explain why and how my character reacts as they do.

I'm not a stickler for the 'show, don't tell' nonsense, which I've explained before often seems too coy and just as repetitive as saying things outright. SHOW me how their feeling, don't TELL me they're happy. SHOW me the atmosphere of the bar, don't TELL me what it looks like. 

SHOW me there's a dog with sunglasses at the bar, don't TELL me...

I've heard that Steinbeck's work is to blame for this 'rule'. I can't hate the guy because he's a fan of quick, cool moral quoting like I am. I don't avoid showing and certainly, sometimes it's more effective to create a mood when you describe being swallowed in a man-shaped shadow rather than saying a tall man stepped in front of you. Still, more often than not, those that take the advice start to stack up a bunch of these: biting lips, balled fists, clenched teeth. These details can be fun to roll out for a scene where someone is pretending to be unbothered, but they keep telegraphing physical signs of tension. Other times, there's no build and these repetitions are doing quite the opposite. Unless it's truly effective, sometimes 'she was nervous he wouldn't come' is a-okay. Unless holding out that she is 'waiting on someone' or 'who it is' happens to be a good build, I'd push it through.

To be honest, there are just some genres where it works nearly every time, like mysteries or crime. When you want the reader to have to figure out the details before they are 'revealed' then it's perfect for this. I've heard some fantasy readers say they like it, but I find fantasy a place where dragging through every scene this way is tedious, both as a writer and a reader. Fantasy is more fun as a roller coaster, one where you change pace, structure, intent-- all at the drop of a hat for the sake of the story. You want those blockbuster twists. I'm definitely a fan of slow builds, but it has to stay relevant and hopefully interesting. There are many fantasies I just couldn't stomach unless they come out with an abridged version, because it became just as tedious with exposition as it did the very, very showy shit. Which is terrific if you're writing a proposal as a project manager. As a novelist, that shit needs polished up.

Here's another thing: like any writer I can talk a big game, but there's a big chance I'm breaking my own so-called preferences and rules. I'm probably leaning on a bias due to taste and experience. This is why it's okay to call my bluff. In fact, I appreciate being told where I've slipped up. It gives me a chance to reanalyze it and either defend why I did it or mentally seal in what to avoid in the future.

I wandered off of talking about back stories, but it came up because I was looking at my notes today. I haven't looked at them since I started drafting and realize I deviated a bit and still like the original ideas more. So I'll need to tweak the draft on that account, but at least it didn't deviate much. I certainly had the intent in line, so it's minor. 

There are some back stories that just don't fit into this series the way I intend it, but they also fit into the prequel area, a time long before any of the characters were alive in this story, back to where the trouble originated. I had originally gone with the name UnQuadrilogy with the intent to do more than four books anyway (because who doesn't like an intentional Douglas Adams-style gaffe, oxymoron intended?). So I think once I write the last of the main series, I want to go back and play with that prequel! I warmed up to some flashbacks in UnSung and I'll continue to throw those in where they fit, but I think there's a depth I want to reach that would just throw the main series too far off track to try to squeeze it all in.

So I'm thinking of a name for it already. UnFinished? UnEnding? UnTold? Perhaps I'll poll these later, but it's still quite the task to get these all tied up.

Chime in on this one, if you like. After UnNamed, UnSung, UnHeard and UnVeiled, which name do you think might make for a great prequel name?

Nothing But Net!

If only I could always be so productive...

After one helluva crunch weekend, the first draft of UnSung is done, done, donnnnnnne. What does this mean? There are a couple places where I need to amend scenes and add some plot details, which may boost the word count (which currently sits at the 234.3K word count mark), but there's no more guesswork, only refinement to do.

Since the epilogue always leads into the next book, I've also warmed up the characters leading into UnHeard, my NaNo novel for next month.

The edit for UnSung will wait. For the rest of the month? Cover art! I've staged the foreground layers for painting, just need to get it done. I will be redoing UnNamed's cover to fit the new convention. In the future, when I start new series, I'll be planning themes in advance. I didn't do this for UnNamed because I only decided to make it an UnQuadrilogy at the last minute. One of these days, I'm sure I'll be able to do a standalone novel but fantasy is just too tempting for the serials.

Piscine, one of my many plotted projects in wait, will be a sci-fi mystery thriller. It is definitely planned as a standalone yet since it could very well become serial, even that is one I'll plan a cover for that could carry on a theme.

The Dreampunk Chronicles, a Steampunk YA project, will definitely be serialized. I use both real world places and surreal fantasy destinations there so the possibilities will extend as far as I dare. I am still planning to write one of these following NaNoWriMo, but... After I set up UnSung for publishing and UnNamed for republishing (just a new cover). 

For those that bought the first edition, I may try to get some posters printed of the new cover to you, signed and sent free of charge as thanks for early adoption. I'll have to look at expenses but I really want to look at swag, convention booth options and so on for the coming year regardless.

Yes, the webcomic is another script I play with. With the way things are planned already, that's looking at a Fall 2019 slot at the soonest. I should have the first Dreampunk and UnHeard at least drafted by then. More details on those at a later date since I'm planning too far ahead already to nail down dates.

In the foreseeable future, Virtual FantasyCon is right around the corner, November 4-10. VFC Reader's Corner is a group you can join for the details. Remember, The Magical Book of Wands is up for preorder on Amazon. It's a great mix of fantasy short stories (I had the chance to read it this past weekend) and it's worth a read! Historical, urban, dark, traditional-- whatever your fantasy tastes, there's something for everyone. 

Here's hoping 2019 is an amazing year! 2017-18 were full of great learning experience, ups and downs aplenty, so I'm going into in with the same blend of optimism and cynicism that keeps me afloat. Thanks for hitching along!

Just Stuff

Cold weather is finally here and if you know me, I'm as psyched as the people who like hot weather (and probably enjoy those same people whining about how cold it is). Right now, I kind of just want to sleep under the warm fluffy blankets I dug out to celebrate and breathe in the ice cold air pouring into my window. No fans, no heaters, just silence to enjoy or fill with purposeful noise.

Of course, there's a cutoff. Once the cold dips towards freezing, I close windows. Once it dips into the 20s, I pull out the space heater (if my fingers and nose are icy). Yet, my favorite wardrobe comes out-- giant sweaters, fleece pajama pants, crocheted hats, fluffy socks. Things that aren't comfortable to wear unless the air is genuinely chilled. Even a cranked AC can't quite create the same environment a legitimate fall/winter permeating chill can.

Sometimes it can spark health issues, but for the most part, it's ripe for crochet, reading, writing, hot drinks and wholesome food holidays. I even met my weekly writing goal towards UnSung this week so I can hibernate and huddle up and plot if I want. (Getting so close to the end, but I'm really trying to tie up plots in the draft rather than throwing it together and dealing with an editing mess.) Still have cover art to do, still have NaNo prep underway, still have holidays to squeeze in so my loved ones don't think I'm losing functioning status on the social spectrum. Kingdom Hearts 3 will steal my soul in January and maybe Dragon Quest XI which I've been meaning to play, but haven't gotten yet.

Priorities still point to writing. Aside from the daily grind of feeding little people, keeping the house clean, and maybe some tablet gaming while nodding off at the end of the day, the usual juggling became more concentrated. At the least, I want UnSung's draft done. It will get put aside after that. I won't edit it again until December and not just because of NaNo. I really want to kick some dirt over it and look at it with fresh eyes. While starting its sequel for NaNo, things might shift even. So I'm looking at a 2019 release after all. I really want to avoid rushing things even if it means pushing them around a bit. It will be worth it to be more flexible in plans to get them just right.

That being said, time to enjoy this chilly weekend, however I use it. About to make some hot tea to start. Oolong, if you want to know. Here's to a productive winter season. Buh-bye, bugs, sweat, sun rashes! Hello, wonderful smell of dying leaves, fire pits and seeing my breath when I breathe!

One of those Update Posts...

Occasionally, I like to jump in and 'double post' (essentially just posting a real-time post on a day where a scheduled post went through as well).

I do have quite a few posts coming up that I had a lot of fun with; I use color combinations to explain some of my characters, using the post topics in a way that is related to my first series with some of them. Hopefully, it shows off my voice a bit. It can be tough, since my fantasy voice isn't quite the same as my first-person blogging voice, but I'm always looking for ways to bring them together.

Premature picture, but my excitement beat me to it...

Today, I conquered one of those exciting milestone moments. My epic fantasy WIP/draft has passed the 200K word mark! There is still quite a ways to go to finish up UnSung (which is going to easily be the size of 3 regular full-length books), but I'm creeping towards the finish line. I'm bouncing between the epilogue and the third part. Since my epilogue leads me into the book I want to work on for NaNoWriMo, I'm trying to keep it fresh throughout the month while I plan to hit the ground running.

Although I was aiming for UnSung to come out this year, I can't promise that now. Namely because I really want to make sure I edit it to the best of my abilities rather than just throwing it out there. I know I have the ability to write and edit well, but since this one is so big, I really want to make sure the facts are locked down and the transitions are smooth as butter.

A lot had changed from the original plans in the book itself even. This tends to happen as a writer really crawls into the cracks and gets to know the world they're creating from top to bottom. 

Anyways, now that I completely my weekly writing goal by breaking the 200K mark, I'm due for some much needed sleep. Thank you for sharing this little moment with me. I'm aiming for at least another 40K to finish, but there are quite a few plots I'm still working on, so that may be surpassed.

Either way, I still plan on publishing this in the 5x8 size. In order to try to keep the cost down though, I'm going to work to make the font as small as possible without causing anyone eyestrain to read it. I've already reduced font size from my first books by 2 pts, but I can probably get away with reducing it by 4 more points in the print format. I'll probably still keep line spacing at 1.2 since that does help visibility regardless of font size. I'll experiment with it a bit. This really only applies to my print lovers, since the ebook version is always fully flexible with user settings.

What are your own writing goals these days? For the NaNo people, are you working to tie up current projects to start fresh or are you continuing something you're working on now?

Bras Don't Prevent Sagging Breasts and Other Reasons Why You Should Always Research What You Think You Know

Funny the things that inspire a bit of thinking... Hey, did you know that bras have never been about long-term preservation of breast shape and defying gravity? However, the study that actually asserts that bras can actually make the ligaments that hold up breast tissue 'lazy' is not as nearly as old as the bra, even fairly new. Like 15 years leading up to the study's conclusion in 2013 new. (LINK) If you hop around, studies tend to offer one exception-- supportive sports bras. Yes, bouncing while exercising actually CAN be detrimental (and painful). Personally, I stopped buying vanity bras many, many years ago and actually wear padded t-shirt type lounge bras all day and night long. This is more about preventing 'headlights' and assuring comfort, but the issues like back pain and sagging actually seemed to self-correct since. However, one of the reasons women gave me for getting a bra the moment my board-flatness became bountiful was to prevent sagging.

Precisely why everything you're SO sure about probably needs to be fine-tuned more often. 

Women's anatomy has faced a lot of confusion over the years. I can't say for certain modern schools are correcting this, but I remember my health class made it clear that the hole at the head of a penis routed both urine and semen. Sex education seemed to gloss over anything more than the basic sexual organs so we learned words like vulva, cervix and uterus, but not that we don't at all pee from the same hole we pop babies out of. Women find this out the hard way. It's not always when we first start out period either. Many girls start with pads because tampons seem terrifying (even once they've had sex-- a dry tampon is never painless to remove). In fact, it became clear several years after I started my period that they weren't that close at all-- when I peed on my hand a little trying a tampon. I don't mean to be too crude here, but women kind of have an 'aha' moment about their bodies that men don't have the benefit of. Men married for 30 years, quite familiar with their wife's parts, sometimes don't know this. Hell, some women probably don't really think about it-- at least until they have to have a catheter inserted or some other revelation of the actual location. (For a hilarious example of this, Orange is the New Black has an episode where the trans-woman character has an entire prison full of women using hand mirrors to prove it.) Vaginas themselves aren't really that sensitive (again, to my knowledge). I can pick up things like pressure, but the only thing even remotely sensitive is the clitoris. It's actually a combination of internal pressure and clitoral stimulation that leads to orgasm. Again, for some women-- sorry, we're just not all in the same category here either. Some women get nothing out of penetration and only rise to clitoral stimulation and vice versa. This is why some swear foreplay is better than intercourse.

I've probably lost some of the men with this one, but if you're still with me, it's actually important that I used examples involved something I actually have personal knowledge with. We don't actually talk about many of these things; not because women's bodies are 'shameful' (I really wish extremist feminists would choke on a dick every time they try this argument) but because often, we feel fucking stupid that we didn't realize it sooner. Why anatomy classes and sex education classes haven't decided where a woman's pee hole (and I shit you not, this is medically accepted terminology even) fits on the curriculum is beyond me, but nevertheless...

You don't know what you think you know about most things.

This goes for that degree you earned. Technology, medical, law, art, information-- it ALL changes. This is why many legitimate colleges often offer supplemental courses for life. So when a new program, a new law, a new medical condition comes along, your expertise doesn't rely a 20 year old education that is sometimes dangerously obsolete. This is why certain professions do keep active databases to consult for every case, every diagnosis. One missed symptom could lead to a deadly diagnosis. Let's not be over-dramatic here and wind it back down. Even as an artist or a writer, you don't want to fall behind on digital technology. Even if you use a traditional medium, it's imperative you learn how to digitally capture it best to take advantage of presenting it on social media or websites to attract buyers and fans.

Your stories are not less affected, writers. Even when you write fantasy, it's not really the easy way out to construct a world from scratch. It should be easy to just look up historical facts for your medieval fantasy and take them for rote because history doesn't change, right? Nope, sorry-- even dinosaurs are getting more entries in terms of subspecies and discoveries. It's also just as likely that a certain weapon or tools actual uses might have been given an educated guess-- at least until Bob the Butcher's leather-bound diary is found on his excavated body, revealing some actual uses even experts didn't foresee.

Knowledge can often give us a sense of ego, especially when we tend to know more than most people. Attaching 'expert' or 'master' to our name doesn't not make us the last word either. If we understand the weight and responsibility of knowledge, then we should always be suspicious of how it is spun or even how we spin it in presentation. Even when it makes perfect sense, we should always check for ourselves. Beware of bias, beware of ego, beware of that little trick the brain like to play on everyone-- filling in the blanks to bury the fear of the unknown.

Embrace the doubt of what you might not know. Check again when your ego seems oh-so-certain even. There's really no shelf-life or acceptable age for knowing what questions to ask. The internet now gives you a place to quietly feel stupid and educate yourself. Even the most intelligent of our species sometimes took a few thousand years to even think to ask certain questions, let alone answer them. Factors like religion, culture and society even buried some of them on purpose. Curiosity, historically, killed a whole lot of inquisitive kitties. New studies will disprove old studies and old studies will actually be found to be correct with the new study being fudged so the claimant could make a name for themselves (if you wonder why brain-dead anti-vaxxers exist, it's because of this. LINK). And no, you don't get to pull Darwinism's natural selection against babies and kids with auto-immune disorders if you're a fucking Creationist.

It's okay to carry biases, to write with biases (in fiction, especially), but at least be self-aware. There are times where cherry-picking is actually about separating the wheat from the chaff, but there are also cherry-pickers that are goblins against reason and progress. When you hear people vilifying vaccines for trace amounts of poisons, they will absolutely refuse to acknowledge there are trace amounts of cyanide in apple seeds, that any damn thing you consume could kill you if you consume enough of it. However, in certain doses, they are also helpful, even life-saving. You often get debates where they ask you for sources-- not so they can change their mind but so that your endless search for verified sources will wear you out enough that you realize it's a waste of time and give up. This is how keyboard-warriors 'win.' They don't actually need intelligence or proof-- they just need you to realize that you have better things to do in life than suffer fools.

Back to my fantasy peops, I hear ya when ya say 'it's fantasy; there are no rules.' You're almost right, but it isn't that there aren't any rules, it's just that it's your burden to explain them if you're suspending belief. I agree that fantasy is where you can rewrite society, create utopias and dystopias, and so on, but it is actually difficult to make this work if you're not making sure all the characters and plots uphold rules that probably don't come as naturally to you as you think. You'll slip into what does come naturally and realize you've destroyed entire chapters by traveling down a contradictory road, every piece after supporting the exact opposite intent. Our genre isn't as easy as it's made out to be (nor as complex as some writers have tried to make it-- not all fantasy requires companion glossaries).

In my previous post, I talked about planning. If you want complex ideas to translate well, you might spend a LOT of time researching and creating a strong web of seamless logic. However, one of the reasons we turn to beta readers is because we're not always flawlessly capable of knowing which questions to ask sometimes. We're so immersed in this rich landscape of details that it's stupidly easy to forget our left-handed swordshuman appears to be ambidextrous when they are just as good with their right. (I almost typed 'he is just as good'-- unconscious defaulting that was caught this time, but next time...) (Side note: If you have a swordshuman and it's not said in comedy, fuck your story. Chances are your shit is FILLED with virtue signaling of the PC variety.)

Strong opinions, strong language, are just that. They empower some and are distasteful to others. In my experience, market research is very nearly pointless. Safe stories just don't appeal to some people, edgy ones come off as trying too hard for others. Self-awareness, again, gives you some idea of the types of people who will like your story and the ones that won't. I've been in so many groups where egos set out to squash your ideas with yellow language like 'I don't see why anyone would like this idea in a book.' You know, as much as I loathe PC bullshit, there are plenty of people who are gasping to keep it alive too. I don't have to like it-- it's there whether I do or don't. Logic doesn't support the market, not really. It's WHY psychology fascinates me. There seems to be no bottom, no destination for what people are capable of. Studying it makes it conscious why I don't like certain people and am drawn to others. It also helped me understand why I tend to attract psychopaths (but how I learned to make them bored with me).

The more abyssal the research, the more tempting; I truly believe that. At some point, your deep dark rabbit holes will be the sort of obsession that people will try to shame you for or tell you it's useless. Some people dedicate their entire lives to research that which they are never credited for until their work is passed on and completed well beyond their years. It's easy to think of it as tragic... but never pity the ones who embrace their purpose. Lack of faith is pitiable to them. There is nothing harder or more satisfying than latching onto that purpose. People with a purpose, they'll stop arguing sanity with everyone. They won't suffer others to wear them down. They'll even tell you you've won if it will shut you up.

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UPDATES: my laptop charger came in the mail and I couldn't be more psyched that I have my laptop working again! This is why my posting speed didn't taper off TOO much from the daily. I was aching to get back to typing and scheduled posts like crazy.

There was beginner's angst, just what I was afraid of. I stared at my laptop like it might bite me. So I couldn't just dive right back into UnSung. Instead, while making sure my backed up files were up to date, I came upon my script for the webcomic. Ended up spending a few solid hours writing up some more episodes. In truth, I want to plan about 20 episodes before I set out to draw it. I'm up to about 10.5 episodes.

What else? I opened some templates and set out creating color palettes for the UnQuadrilogy covers. I decided on a cohesive theme to extend across the series. As much as I love the original UnNamed cover, it doesn't quite carry over in theme. I'm going to try a very different style than my usual comic style, but it's important to me to show off my flexibility in design and mood.

So September... I wasn't expecting to get my charger so soon, so it gives me a couple of weeks' boost actually! I've decided that UnSung Part III and other writing projects are going to get a solid binge in the next two weeks. The planning gave me so much momentum, it might go quicker than expected.

October will definitely include prepping for NaNoWriMo and making sure I market the anthology. I actually want to focus on art here though. My writing got a longer run than planned and I want to hunker down on those UnQuad covers. I do want to try to cram as many of my big projects' needs into the next seven weeks as possible so I can crack down on NaNoWriMo in November.

November is the No is NaNoWriMo. First and only focus... 'Nuff said.

December-- what I call PeEdDiMo. Please don't coin that, no matter how much it makes you laugh. Personal Editing Disaster Month. I'll edit my NaNo mess, UnSung's draft and whatever other carelessly written messes I end up with. It's... not really as bad as it sounds. I'm an eager masochist when it comes to editing. It's not exactly easier now that I have great methods to streamline it, but it's massively satisfying to be done with it because of what a pain in the ass it is. Give it a good spanking and it's all goosebumps and tingling, not welts and bruises. 😉

Future updates will probably just explain what actually happened. Heh. Sometimes I wander from intent. Not a bad thing. It really just ends up meaning the priorities are spread out between things differently. I might not have gotten as far as I hoped with x project, but projects a, b, and c might have gained from it.

It Be the Time of the Updates!

Mentioned this before, but because of the plots in my current WIP, I've had to run at least cursory factual edits following each Part of this projected three-part book. I roughly knew what each part would entail from the onset, but even with planning, I kept a pantser mentality-- which often meant fiddling with details that I liked better as the ideas presented themselves along the way.

That being said, yesterday, I finished the run-through on Parts I and II, where I'm currently drafted to. I'm not planning on jumping right back into writing so I'll be taking a short "break" of indeterminate length. I took some great notes to look out for when I'm starting up this conclusive third part, but there are a few parts I had to mark because they were based on my memory of events in UnNamed. I do not trust my memory to be 100% so I'm going to be reading UnNamed before going back into my third draft. 

Why? Well, I published UnNamed back in February (on my mother's birthday to be exact) and it's July. In those five months, I did about 6 or 7 book covers projects, some odd number of art projects besides that-- juggling those things made it necessary to reread much of UnSung's progress even, just to be sure I was still recalling events as well as the characters would (or rather better, because I'm pretty much the Almighty of Almighties where their development is concerned). Sometimes even notes miss out on the subtleties and it's completely useless to try to create emotional or dialogue shortcut devices or notes. You have to creep over those moments in the raw, test them over and over fully, to see if they're still working for the story.

In any case, UnSung Part 3 drafting will be my next hunker-down project. In the interim, I'm going to play peasant/house-elf and get some cleaning and organizing done. The subsequent scheduled post, another cover reveal, ought to tell you why. If you didn't get to it, my birthday and the release of the final(?) book in my first series coincide a week from today and not only do I intend to enjoy the week ahead fully, but I intend to jump into more summer project fun without having any excuse for distraction. Fully cleaned fish tank, dusting, vacuuming, the Wiping of the Surfaces, making sure all things I will need for my projects are readily accessible (notebooks, clean fast computer, pencils, pens, drawing tablets-- you know, my tools of the trade).

Rituals can be cathartic towards the anxiety of beginning new things. Or, continuing old things, which is what I remind myself if I get the beginner jitters. I call it Domestic Tetris, the stacking, organizing, brain-engaging act that doesn't separate me from the Plotting Tetris I'm lining up for. Because, let's face it, a very involved process can leave us a little forgetful for the domestic parts of life. You just don't really notice those dishes or clothes piling up with your heads engaged elsewhere. 

Not that it ever gets terrible. Keep in mind, I'm raising two boys so there's only so much I can get away with falling into any task uninterrupted. They're old enough now that they actually get what goes into my work and they're mostly very considerate of giving me ample time to do it. They're still kids though and they need things and in truth, I like the time they want to spend with me too. Just as much as wanting to know when they're hungry or sick or need help, I also want to hear what they think about and are interested in. Many times, they've inspired my own ideas in some way too.

Leaving the post at that. Finished one thing, taking a break to better tackle the next things ahead. I do have some short comic ideas in my head and the web comic idea still nagging for my attention, so I might do a bit of that here and there too. Really no use making plans where I'm concerned. Creatively, either I'm in or I'm out and there's not really much compromise when it comes to my attention. I can force it a bit, but as a rule, if I can't get my head in it within 15 minutes, I'm just wasting my time. I'm more likely to sabotage my own work and end up running some frustrating damage control. So it will be what it will be and hopefully, I can share some more interesting work with you once I've latched on enough to bring something to completion. Having a great track record with it so far.

Cover Reveal + Milestone Achieved!

The ninth and final book cover, finally done for Each Endless Universe: Original Sin coming on July 11th, features the lovely, deadly Baelle.

I didn't screen shot many of these since I did her fairly quickly and didn't stop much to remember to take them. Nevertheless, here they are!

Start with the mannequin...

Add a little shading...

Some funky guidelines...

Clothes and the beginning of shading...

Some blending...

POOF! Magic!

It's a girl! And also a bear... Was a bear, anyway. Now it's a cloak.

Phew, I really enjoyed the whole process, but alas, it is time to crown it and move on to the next great project. I hope you enjoyed taking the journey with me! I certainly enjoyed all of this 'leaving my comfort zone.'

So here is where I continue cracking down on UnSung, although this summer, I also plan on working on some other neglected skills and playing around the web comic idea for Rock My World. I always like to take advantage of higher summer energy levels to diversify my talents a bit. Don't worry; anything blog worthy will get some features along the way as usual. This isn't just about me but what those experiences might contribute to helping other writers and artists take meaningful steps towards following their own dreams.

I do have UnSung's cover done, but I'm keeping that under wraps until about a week prior to when I set up the release as I did for these. As I've said before, UnSung is a whopper of a book, the first part topping the 80K word mark with the two other parts and the epilogue awaiting a draft. It's very likely to be three books in one for all I have planned for it. However, this is a very pivotal part of the story; where UnNamed scratched the veneer, UnSung plunges into the world headfirst. Since I can't really plan the size until the draft gives me more insight, the other two may be wholly different.

So, more to come, time willing; thanks again for all of the support and encouragement! I can only hope I'm giving as well as I get.

The Editing Paradox

So. I sits down to do me some editing and the game changes. I knew UnNamed would be opening a can of worms, but I had no idea that revisiting it to clarify a character's development would be a traffic jam. It's not a huge spoiler to say that I introduced a time travel concept that I only worked out on a skeletal level for the first book. Tonight I had to revisit all of the concepts more fully to continue its promise.

Unfortunately, describing it in any detail would probably just confuse it. It's a much simpler idea rolled out in small doses as the story grows, but it's because of the other storylines and events that it  just doesn't sound as complex as any attempt to summarize it would. I know this means that I will have to reference the first book as well as recomb the 1st part of this book to make sure all facts line up. Of course, book one has the final say; it's published.

Now, I did need to work out the details before moving ahead, to make sure any more mentions in Part II line up; why make more work for later. However, it does mean I have to resist the urge to move backwards. The point of this edit is still lining up part 1 and 2 in its current sequence. I'm making sure that, while it's fresh, I'm aware of what I already have and only adjusting what contradicts as well as any grammar, punctuation and wording immediately obvious. I'm also allowed to add anything that can help with pacing or storytelling. At this stage though, my only rule is not going back. If I do, I might create a paradox in my thinking that forgets the chronology and screws up what the characters know or not.

I still have to draft Part III. Part I and II being cohesive will actually make Part III almost lightning fast. After that, I'm adding a reread of the first book before editing all three parts. Once all three parts are edited? I step away for a few days or a week then do a last edit. Nope, still not done, because I do the epilogue leading into the third book at the end of the first.

Although, I may have to check on whether I can technically call this one an epilogue... In the first book it was, but this one is more like a prologue but at the end of this book. I like to set the stage for the story at the technical end of each one, something that isn't just repeated so it's not a preview and certainly not a preface or foreword, which are author's notes at the beginning and end, nothing to do with the continuing story.

(I looked it up for anyone who wondered. Technically, an epilogue is only defined as a section at the end after the main plots have been tied up; doesn't specify that it HAS to be the same characters to count. The thing is that many old characters have the potential to show up again, so there isn't really a formal ending for anything until the last book is written.)

In any case, the struggle will be worth it. My notes grow but they also tend to get more organized as they come together.  Yes, often the idea of stopping mid-edit is horrifying for some people, but as I've said, I keep one rule at this stage and it's that I can't move backwards. Filling out a concept more fully so I can resume the edit only chopped into my time a couple of hours and it didn't reorganize my understanding and screw up the primary mission. 

One reason for this-- I keep notes of things I might have forgotten I wrote later now that I started over. As I run into them, I cross them out. If I jump around and change things, then I alter facts that I haven't processed yet, making my notes useless. If I get a good idea for later, THAT can go into my notes-- it fits into the forward-thinking rule. Because I still have many edits that will put me back to check on the newer notes, it CAN wait. 

Why create a time travel paradox in my own thinking? Now, in a simpler story, it's fine, but a complex idea becomes complex to read if I start playing Jenga with it. To edit a story like this, I have to start from the beginning and walk through it as the reader would. Every. Time. Anything that halts ME is going to halt the reader. Each time I make the journey, I am aiming to keep it moving. When the edit comes that I am not stopping, publish.

Really, I will love to see what this series becomes. As much as I love my first series for all it taught me about writing, I really feel the lessons are paying off in creating a very different story. I love when a new character stands in the horizon, holding a torch to pass for the sake of storytelling. I didn't want a story where the main character carries it so much that it can't continue without them. I wanted this to be a world where everyone else isn't just an NPC (non-playable character; sorry, gamer term on a writing blog) in 'their' world. It's never been more important to realize their lives even when it's not important to the story so that when they reappear, you don't think they were just lying on the floor with their eyes glazed over.

My hope is that your takeaway from this is in understanding why some processes are important to the type of story. Don't be afraid to write complex stories. If you find something is irritatingly flat, you can take notes on what to come back to or attempt to flesh it out right then. When you have this new understanding, you take it to future edits. No, you decided her personality would change so she wouldn't say it like that anymore. No, I decided his upbringing means he wouldn't know something like that now. Your first draft is your first impression of your world. That's it. Each draft reflects what you add to it when you get to know it better. It's not as complex as you initially think because you're making the connections to understand the transitions as you go. 

And yes, you can do a lot of backpedaling in a first draft. I know a lot of writers swear by the forward movement only rule here, to keep it creative, but there are three types of people: ones who dip their toes in the water and get in a little at a time, those who jump/dive in, and... those who don't swim at all. In terms of writing, either one of the first two are okay. You don't have to have perfect confidence to get things going. If you have to poke and edit and hedge a bit, at least you're moving. It isn't a mark of quality to be less confident. In fact, reasonably cautious writers are the ones that give themselves less work in the long run. Tortoise and the hare, if you will. Okay, hares can succeed too. I'd never hate on a fast writer because it's not less work just because the pace is different.

With that being said, a break is in order. I pulled away from the draft to take a 'break' and here I am. Not. Breaking. But now I am. If this is your break, thanks for sharing it with me!

Happy Dance/ Beta Reorganization

Because blogging is bipolar, we're shifting to the fully positive, almost sickeningly enthusiastic side of things.

First and foremost, a happy dance is in order. After my previous confession of needing to muster up the troops and get to some serious outlining, I am almost completely unable to stop attacking my current book with an ever-increasing word count. I not only put a 14K ring on Part II, but I've seen its transition into Part III. My muse has this unwritten rule, mind you: Write out of order or she'll be out of order faster than a vending machine at the bowling alley or the men's room at a dive bar. So I set out to spot edit between Parts I and II and ended up with the muse taking a joy ride directly over to the epilogue and start setting up the lead-in for the third book, UnHeard.

Which is why I'm postponing the beta I was planning for Part I which is more correctly still a very polished alpha, but some things might wiggle loose while writing Part II that I'd rather not confuse readers with as a clear work-in-progress when I jiggle some conversation and events just a bit askew.

I've also decided I'm going with BetaBooks for this. Click on the hyperlink and check it out, especially if you're interested in queueing for the beta in its current TBA state; I'll still put you on my list. Once I start putting up the beta on FB groups, you'll know it's in serious motion and I'll start linking people to them. I don't have official 'chapters' but everything is parsed into sections according to scene and characters, so I might start people out in different plotlines rather than the book in its usual chronology. This will keep people following one solid progression and able to spot confusing breaks in the continuity if present. I might leave it up to request for people to read it in its entirety, but be warned that this book will be super epic in length and will likely break 200K words in its entirety, so I endeavor to keep any commitments flexible this way. I even have bits that are really small, short story length, that I'd appreciate a look-through for.

So yeah, I jumped the gun on betas, but I promise this is for the quality of the experience since it is a very ambitious entry in the series.

Happy news all around though, short and sweet. I can feel my craft honing to a finer edge as I go. I'll never down on my first series, which still continues to entertain me whenever I read it, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that it only gets better. I'm still unconventional in my methods, but I believe that flexibility is what makes personal successes something to treasure. Perhaps someday there will be someone looking to discover my story and it won't be one you find in every writer's blog, the cookie cutter road to 'success.' For me, there's no greater motivating (and pant-shittingly scary) path to a good story than a life carved stubbornly through the mountain. Safe doesn't guarantee success, so why not aim for a worthwhile journey?

Need Beta Readers! Want In?

As you know, I tend to do things out of order and this is the first time I'm introducing beta readers into the process (at my usual better-late-than-never pace of doing things). I'm not requiring readers to sign an NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement) but I do have a short list of expectations on confidentiality, only to explain to any of the ones new to beta reading. I am not giving any time requirements since this is just Part I and there are two more parts in progress.

Word Count (for Part I): 88,102

Genre: Adult Epic Fantasy

Title: UnSung

Contact Me @ kitacat[at]me[dot]com if you're interested.

Yup, 88K puts it at full novel length already, but I'm not confining the next two parts to a similar size-- whatever it ends up as, it will be. The epilogue will be a lead-in to the next book, so if you are continuing after Part I, there will technically be four phases. If you have any questions, you can email me or we can set up a quicker messaging method, but I do provide some details in the document itself. I'm using Google Docs, so we'll use your Gmail address to link you and it makes any on-the-fly editing or suggestions a snap. I use it for beta reading others' work and it's been a great experience.

Speaking of which, I'm currently reading for a friend so I need to jump back to that and squeeze more of that in tonight. I'm hoping to compile a list within the next week or two, so no hurries. Feel free to pass it along to anyone who might be interested. 

Thanks in advance to anyone who offers their time towards helping me improve and grow as an author. If you want to check out a vastly different series, my first series is available on Amazon, all queued up to be published fully by July 11th of this year. Check out my site HERE for details. If you want to pick up UnNamed, you're welcome to, but I would also LOVE to have readers that can tell me if UnSung works as a standalone.

My Mind is Telling Me No, but my body, MY BODY!

Excuse the unprofessional and not very informative heading, but I'll lead in with its purpose. It's appropriate on so many levels that I'd have to reinvent the onion, but let's just peel back a layer or two here. For one, sometimes my mind keeps kicking me down, but I become physically ill with the need to make it work for me.

One of the purposes of this blog is getting creatives unstuck. Whether I'm talking about my own journey or attempting to offer up those experiences in a way that you can use them, it has some double-lucky magical property-- helping you also helps me. When you keep those around you pumping out ideas and inspiration, you can find a well to draw on when you are feeling less than confident.

One thing I discussed with my friend Joe today was how a prevailing mood can really suck the ideas out of you and make those people start to drop off too. It doesn't mean that your muse completely abandons you because sometimes he/she is in fine form and nudging your ass with his/her toe. (Okay, I'm switching to the traditional female default. Your muse can have all the parts or none of the parts, but clogging up the word real-estate is distracting and tedious.)

People often wonder how I can be both depressed and productive. Let me simplify it here. I wasn't always then and even now I'm not. 

Now I'm going to complicate it. I'm going to type in some hash lines if you want to skip ahead to the point, but for everyone else, get the personal view of things.

My friend Fermín passed away 4 years ago and it hit me hard. I was two months shy of graduating college and earning my bachelor's degree, end of January 2014. His last message to me:

That was it. Days later, I got the message from a mutual friend, Phil, to look at his FaceBook page. Condolences for his passing. He was only 43 and he came home from a conference and didn't make it to his bathroom before his heart just called it quits.

Further down on that message, I sent him more messages he would never get to read. Even after I knew he was gone, it felt like a place I could still reach him.

I worked at Petco for another few months, quitting in May. I decided I'd try (and fail) at a crochet business. It was disillusioning to turn that hobby into a business and I realized it wasn't the right choice. There were too many people in this failing economy that told me my time wasn't worth minimum wage. I'm against slave labor and I won't be paid slave labor. The increased demand gave me a condition called Trigger Thumb. I couldn't treat it because I was broke. I basically couldn't crochet for 3 weeks solid. It was pretty disgusting. I'd wake up in the morning and move that thumb and it would make a sickening pop like a cap gun going off. I thought the tendon was going to snap, but it healed.

That year didn't improve and I lost my dog two weeks shy of Christmas. Damn, but this dog was my best friend in a way I can't really help people understand. I'm not a very social person, so this dog followed me around almost all day every day, was excited to see me if I stepped outside to take out garbage and came right back in. I'm still tearing up just remembering him now. That little dog was a huge part of my life and the absence was gaping. It wasn't like a ranking system where you could prioritize spouse, child, or anything above him. He was my daily life and my daily life was now missing a huge piece.

For about 8 months, my cat then became my companion. At least until she acquired an inoperable tumor. We couldn't even let her out of basement because of the risk it would rupture. I tried to visit her, to bathe her, but it was torture. She passed away peacefully, but the chaos was in my heart.

That was 2015, about midway through. I thought I'd get through 2016 unscathed, but then I lost my grandma on Christmas day. And my fish started going into genocide mode, killing each other. Until I somehow figured out which species was responsible and nipped it in the bud. By this point, I wasn't really a stranger to the pain of loss. It's not that it hurt less, but I was reaching a point where I could either function or give the fuck up. So I functioned.

Two months after my grandma passed, I lost my mom on her birthday in 2017. It was internal hemorrhaging that they could only stop if her BP would come up, caused by cancer that was already late stage. The operation might have bought her a year or two of intense cancer treatment before she passed away. Her BP didn't come up and we had to let her go.

At that point, I hadn't been useless. I had already lost 60 pounds because one of the ways I came out of losing my dog was by starting to take better care of myself whether I felt like it or not. But it was the final straw on procrastination when it came to pursuing my dreams. I had been busily writing my first series as well and when my mom passed, I buckled down and finished it. She was the one person I talked with about writing them and because she was gone, I felt more strongly that I couldn't bury it. I published my first book in August of 2017.

To date, I now have 5 books on the market. I've released the first trilogy, its complete edition and UnNamed. 

How do I work when I'm not in the mood? I'm never that happy and depression always looms. Some days I'm really low and hardly anything gets done. Sometimes I start out feeling like absolute crap and make myself work. Sometimes it picks me up and takes me out of Kansas, sometimes it just destroys my house and I'm picking up the pieces. Long before I started losing people, I picked up chronic pain and had to learn how to not be a depressing person to be around already. I can smile and entertain even when I'm miserable. Unless you're the sort of prick that wants to see the 'real me' you'd never know it's a mask. Look, there are sometimes when you don't want honesty and that's when the person you're with is coping. The burdens are too great-- talking won't help, medicating completely annihilates them as a person, and their best recourse is to not be totally depressing. If it's so bad, how can we hide it? Because the alternative is total isolation, the pain of losing everyone you care about, and loss of purpose. We're being fake for everyone's benefit-- our own and yours alike. But guess what? We DO have safe outlets. It just isn't you and everyone we meet. We learn to compartmentalize, we learn to organize, we learn how to be useful even when we're broken.

All these people and pets are dying and I've made it about me. Damn right. Their pain is over. Whether you believe they've gone to a better place or think death is the end, it's not a place we get to go and we don't throw this life away on some promise that something better awaits. It's one reason I'm NOT in a hurry to die. The idea of leaving the people I love in any form of the pain of loss I've endured is a wretched thought. It's not for fear of hell or nothingness. I don't believe in hell and if it's nothing? Deep dreamless sleep is nothing. And it's fantastic. If people I've lost get that, that's comforting. That I don't get to see them IS my hell.

This is where the TL;DR people can uncover their eyes. lol That probably sounds bitchy, but it was funny when I said it in my head. Okay, but this is where you can jump to the point. That's more neutral and harder to misunderstand.

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There's no magic switch where ideas come because I'm at 'optimal efficiency'. That sounds robotic for a reason, because it can be. Most days when you're low, you're going to find nothing works. You go through the motions and it sucks. Still, you did something, which has a separate but motivational purpose you can draw on. Some of those low days, it clicks and you're flying. Don't expect that, but don't just NOT do it because it's not guaranteed to happen. The point is, it MIGHT and that's why it's worth trying. I might fire off plans when I'm sort of manic with inspiration. Sometimes I can meet those lofty demands, sometimes I mostly hug a pillow and scribble in a notebook without actually working. Own it-- you might not have added to your official word count, but it's real towards the process.

Today was like this. Spring Break, stayed in bed until 2 PM. Harassed people in message form, made coffee and pounded out some ideas for Part II of UnSung (you beautiful, terrible bastard of an idea, you) but didn't actually start it. Wandered over here to blog... this. That's it. I probably have an hour of sunlight left and I plan on doing nothing but mapping the location for Part II. I don't usually put too much into maps, but this is going to be a challenging space for these characters to explore and it needs all three dimensions of consideration and maybe a couple more.

That's probably the point. The onion is getting mushy at this point (also why I'm crying, I swear) but it doesn't really matter that my brain is full of doubt and fear and procrastination. I get more physically ill when I deny it. I need to create on any scale. I can't just have ideas-- I have to jot them down, sweat them out, put them beyond the 'I have an idea' place that my mind taunts me with. 

You'll hear it everywhere-- ideas are cheap. Don't take that to mean that ideas are useless. They ARE cheap. You need lots and lots of them to give them value. They don't have a set value, mind you. Only editors get to charge per word. A writer doesn't really get to place a set value on their ideas. I get to slap a price on an asset, but it doesn't protect me from piracy, you borrowing your friend's Kindle or my books earning me nothing in a used book store. Most authors will not make a living on it. And that means nothing to me. If I get time on this earth, I'll get there. If I don't? Well, I'll be dead and you can write a really stupid eulogy about how hard I tried. I won't be around to care.

I don't keep doing this because I'm merely a hopeless masochist. I do it because my mind is telling me noooooo, but my body, MY BODY IS TELLING ME YES! Seriously, guys-- I need this. Not just the passion, but the hope that it does pay off. I'm not going to pretend that I'm okay with the starving artist part. I want to encourage the same hunger for my work that I feel when I set out to make it. I want to complete you...

However, we have each day we get. If I waste a single one, I stand to lose several more on stupid regrets. So maybe today is not the day I work my ass off and churn out an amazing cover or get a 8K word count on my book. Maybe today is 'just' the day I set up points of inspiration that sow those seeds. Sometimes you 'just' and 'only' accomplish things of any scale. You know that it's a monumental step but you used those words humbly because you probably realized that ego is a shitstorm. 'I have only written five books' doesn't mean that your accomplishments are less because you haven't even published one. I know it can sting because I get sensitive about wording sometimes too, but I'm learning how to kill the comparisons. It would take a long ass blog post to really explain that I am humbling myself for the long haul not kicking down. I have 5 but I'm reaching for 50. Maybe one or more has bestseller potential. Maybe number 23, but I'm not stopping even if I 'make it'. I'm not throwing darts in the wind either. I might still speak in 'just' and 'only' because I've never had guarantees in life. My generation was one of the first to get decimated by lack of opportunity once we hit adulthood. 

Fuck that rabbit hole though. I went there too earlier today. I'll let the rest of the world argue politics and such. I'm here to help you escape or make sense of your troubles. Let me offer you a little place to start. If you read every word, you are probably in a vulnerable place. I'm certainly not a well-adjusted superhero. I just make decisions that have so far and through dumb luck kept me going. Count on yourself. No matter how much you've downed on your limitations, well, you're not always in the best place to see your strengths, but it doesn't mean they aren't there. There's a middle ground between your best and worst days, what your mind and body want when they aren't working together.

It doesn't matter what you think you can and can't do. Whether you're right or wrong, you don't have a clue. You go forward because the only way back is passive, inaction. You might find a lesson in retrospect or reflection, but camping out there is cheap. Not useless, but it's not going to secure a future. Use the present, realize the future is possible but just as unattainable. One thing my mom taught me is the value of the present. You might not be able to help that you are miserable or scared or self-hating, but you do chose to stand up or move your right arm or do the hokey pokey. You can drag yourself through every damn day until your body kicks your mind into gear. Yes, it goes both ways. Maybe you're stuck in a stubborn body that won't or can't move. Make your brain do the heavy lifting.

You can say where you want to be ideally, but life isn't an ideal. Working hard is sometimes about using the least wounded part. When someone says success came from barely lifting a finger, sometimes it means that their every effort went into lifting that finger, but it was the right finger and by sheer dumb luck. Don't worry too much about being misunderstood. It's bound to happen even with clever context or outright telling someone. You know your struggle and you know when you've earned the reward for that effort. Accept it humbly or scream it from the rooftops. Take what you need.

Sorry, guys, I'm TL;DR regardless. I want to be absolutely sure you get a valuable piece to take away. You get plenty of quote dumps on social media. I can do more and I will.

Keep going because... well, what else are you going to do? Keep writing because you have a story to tell.