Showing posts with label genre. Show all posts
Showing posts with label genre. Show all posts

Friday, April 5, 2019

I Still Have No Clue How to Talk about My Books

What do you write? It's a fair question, but one that's not that easy to answer. The genre 'fantasy' has a lot of interpretations and there's also a pretty strong gender bias when a woman says it to where I almost always have to throw in the 'epic fantasy.'

Oh, you mean like Lord of the Rings? Hmm, close but not so much with elves and dwarves as it involves humans, animal human hybrids, ogres, gods, magic but the distance of advanced technology, elementals, and mythologies. 

I like to add that I write psychological explorations and lore, that I sometimes wrote purposely awkward because you're supposed to feel uncomfortable yet the narration becomes more concise with the growing confidence in their journey. Sometimes I want people to know that I like to draw my characters or write alternate universe scenarios or even side stories that weren't told in the progression of the main story.

Who is the main character? Good question but also not easy to answer. There usually isn't one in particular. The way I tell stories are through the many characters that converge on the main plot. While they are important in their own way, there is no central character in my series. Either one of them. You'll see some more than others but I don't linger on them or play favorites at the expense of the story. I often develop personal favorites once I've finished but I'm very cautious about creating a bond that destroys their role while forming the story.

They cover war, love, desire, secrets, lies, dragons, mermaids, technology, but I never set out to force anyone to care about which is more important. Worlds and characters are about cohesion, how they move for and against the other. My books are about discovering the truth, being wary of the meaning of good intentions, how people develop priorities, all mixed in with fun and seriousness, light breaths of fresh air and the heavy weight of darker parts of ourselves. It's laughter at inappropriate times, not always having the perfect one-liner, underestimating yourself when your weaknesses are your strengths.

It's hard to describe books beyond the superficial. I joke that they're soap operas for geeks, but I don't know how to really simplify it. While plotting everything seamlessly is a complex process, I also want people to know it's simpler to read it than it was for me to write it. I didn't set out to impress anyone with my intellect or alienate simplicity either. I know context is a great teacher, that using big words isn't intimidating if you use them well. I want people to learn in a way that's fun. I want to teach, but not preach.

I write to entertain myself but it's work too. I work hard to make sure my readers don't have to. I do like to add elements that keep you guessing, give you a puzzle, but don't require you to solve it to understand. I want you to decide which characters are worthwhile or silly or annoying or scary. 

I can absolutely talk about my books if you're not looking for a quick pitch. Just know that not all authors can easily answer the who-what-why-when-where-how model. It's not because it's too complex but because some stories are just broader in some areas and vague in others. Even if I start with one or two particular characters, they may not stick as main characters. Fantasy is a tapestry woven by the dynamics of many. 

So yes, a little like Lord of the Rings. Yet drawing comparisons is something I strictly avoid. I would rather not assume to know how anyone feels about certain stories or that it is something I can piggyback. It is what it is. An adventure with many twists, obstacles, and plots that lead to a hanging yet complete conclusion.

No matter how difficult or easy it is to talk about your work, it helps to know why. Confidence, focus, hesitance or determination--we are all different in regards to what we are willing to say, how honest we are willing to be, and it's not a discredit to you if your stories aren't easy to talk about. It's more a sign that they are not static things to you, that they are ever-evolving in your mind. You may not have a ready spiel so it's okay to adjust according to audience and situation.

Friday, March 1, 2019

Choice is Important

I have two topics in mind as I start this one, but they're closely related. To start, I'll go with why I don't actually put 'adult' on my books, despite listing them as such.

It's pretty clear that I'm not a child, everyone's parent or can make a universal decision on what is 'okay' for everyone to read. I've revealed before that my parents never censored what I could read. There were some media that they were more squeamish about, but the main reason I didn't give them cause for concern with books was because I clearly understood that, even if it was labeled non-fiction, I should take every bit of experience and fact with a grain of salt. Nothing is more true as a rule nowadays when the internet is ambiguous with freely shared information that is more likely to be used to collect traffic for a website than actually be informative.

What your child can or should read is for you to decide and I don't scoff at those choices or offer my opinion on how strict or relaxed you might be. I may have a clear judgement, but it's none of my business. However, though I do believe it's important to classify books and possible audiences accurately, I don't think it's my business to plaster my covers. For digital books, the listings are clear and, as of yet, I haven't focused on physical bookstores and libraries. However, the digital listings would easily put these books in the correct locations.

What if potential customers or lax retailers put them somewhere else? Yes, that's bound to happen, but if you aren't prepared for a surprise, there is no shortage of ways to research before you buy. If content is something you are squeamish about, then there are plenty of ways to do so. I don't suppose everyone has smartphones or that they don't just turn their kids loose in a bookstore, but if you make a snap judgement on something you know nothing about or can't say no to your kids until you can research it, don't be the person that blames the bookstore or the author.

Why don't I just put 'adult' on there? Well, because I wasn't an adult and I'm not going to shame my potential audience. The adult rating is rarely used for just violence. It is almost always used for explicit sex and ambiguous or taboo themes. Even adults can be judged for this. Even the most free-spirited among us don't necessarily want to advertise that we're having adult toys or books or movies delivered to our homes and we don't want every nosy motherfucker passing judgement based on that word. I leave a wide trail of exactly what I'm writing. When I write for general audiences, that will be clear, but I'm sure as hell not going to bubble-wrap or pre-judge my audience. Even to cover my bases.

Books are the way we see how people think, not the way the world immovably is. Leading into my second topic, 'the way things are' is a phrase that we need to know is never a safety net for things staying that way.

As a teenager, nearly every girl I knew was suckered into the Girl Talk series. There was a popular board game as well. The entire package was loaded with questions geared only towards straight girls, how female bodies were supposed to be, and many dangerous ideals for what a girl was expected to experience to validate herself. I remember, as a 12 year old girl with a newly blooming body, nothing was more damning than the part of the book that told me that if I stood against the wall with my shoulders, heels and butt pressed against it, my back should touch as well. No matter how I tried to suck in or contort, it was impossible. I had a butt and couldn't do it so I was fat. Only I wasn't. I was always on the low side of a normal weight range and athletic.

The worst part of these books was that it was always worded as if the books were on our side, looking out for our best interests, but in truth, they were shaming us for being different. Not just our bodies, but our style, our hair, our interests and preferences. If we weren't all about make-up and boys, what the hell was wrong with us?

Even for the damage done, I'd quickly learned the dangers of blind belief. It wasn't the books' fault necessarily but the danger lay in the fact that there was a time when this was societally acceptable. If you want to know why women my age are so adamant about campaigns that tell people to stop talking about how women should view their bodies or reproductive systems, you can tell us things have gotten better, but we damn well know they could get worse. Men are still trying to tell women what they should do with their bodies, trying to pass laws even. Here's the thing: men do not get to have an opinion on women's bodies. Other women do not get to have an opinion on every woman's body either. Your husband, father, brother, king or president, male or female, do not get to have an opinion. Our bodies are our decision. Our health is our decision. Even now, the laws are more concerned with our reproductive capabilities than our overall health and this is a problem--one even claiming women's lives when they are ignored. So when we want to nitpick about our hair, weight, pimples, self-image, this is our personal struggle, not permission to weigh in. Whether it's petty or pivotal, the right to decide our personal fate should never be something anyone can bully us out of. 

Non-fiction books should absolutely be pulled when they can be dangerous to society, especially when targeting children. However, you can't apply this to all literature in all genres. The ultimate responsibility goes to the consumer. 

We can't and shouldn't child-proof the world and we can't and shouldn't penalize adults for responsible curiosity either. There will be times when we haven't prepared our children for everything they come into contact first, but we can't protect them from every lesson and sometimes pain has to be the teacher. I know what it's like, to want to protect children from pain, but it does them a disservice. It breaks my heart when my nephews learn the hard way, but those lessons are also the ones that stick, the ones they won't have to trip onto softly again and again because there are never consequences that deter them. They don't learn caution or wisdom without pain. While I never want them to hurt as I do, I also never want them to make them so dependent on me being that there that the world will crush them the minute they stray.

I try to be thorough with my arguments for and against my topics, but it's always possible I haven't considered something. If you disagree with me, why do you think 'adult' is a necessary label? Why do you think fiction-based media should be as responsible as non-fiction? I'm happy to defend my answer or change my mind.

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

The Sci-Fi Fantasy Battles

Science fiction isn't fantasy, if you believe the detractors. Yet to me, this is just nerd battles of denial among those gatekeepers and purists we must wade through in every fandom ever.

Science fiction can be fantasy.

Fantasy can be science-fiction.

But science fiction is based on a possible future while fantasy is sword and sorcery (I'm going with the simplest argument or we'll be here all century.)

Not wrong, but you know it's not wholly honest either. 

Science fiction is certainly about heavily exploring science, logic, possibility, droids, space operas... The future is certainly distinct from your medieval-based dragon and knight combo, but either argument is like stick a couple flags in the desert and considering it fully explored. The minute you walk it, you're in for a world of cacti and quicksand.

The thing is not every part of science fiction is cushy in its base of science and logic and some of the elements are purely fantasy. There are elements like the Spice in Dune or even elements/metals that don't exist and have properties that defy logic. It's not always a feasible possibility like space travel being as easy as a cab ride or touchscreens. Time travel and teleportation are very unlikely possibility that are essentially fantasy for that very reason.

Don't think I haven't seen the argument that they are based in the real world so that makes them science fiction. As resented as the genres are by purists on both sides, urban and dystopian fantasy is often largely and even exclusively based on what it meant to be our world. I know that science fiction is protected as being more technical less whimsy, but only the nerds make Star Wars technical forays in their free time and not all hardcore fans do more than just love the hell out of it for what it is. Fantasy nerds can ALSO be technical with building the logic. You can create dividing lines between reason and whimsy all you want but there is nothing in either genre that suggests they aren't perfectly comfortable bedfellows.

(I'm not using 'nerds' in a negative sense since I do enjoy nerdliness. I'm using the purest form here, which are simply the ones that dissect the fandom down to the nooks and crannies. In the same way that geeking is simply the passionate consumption of its existence.)

Fantasy, no matter how medieval or downright primal often evolves purely into the realms of sci-fi. Worlds change and timelines with horses and swords sometimes age into flying cars and ray guns. Purists of EITHER will brag about the infinite possibilities yet place some pretty absurd lines on what you can call the main or subgenre or twitch at combining them at all. People can be hardcore fans of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings alike, but god forbid they share the same spaces. Is it just information overload that keeps people from appreciating the blends?

Hard to say. Writers often cringe at the possibility of being compared to this writer or that, so the same must go for fandoms. I can admit I've had some pretty jarring moments of realization when I made parallels between my work and others, but really, my perceptions were not lines that everyone would draw and was it REALLY as bad as I thought?

In many ways, I believe the dread of comparison is that being better or worse does not work in your favor. Does sci-fi or fantasy do certain themes better and does it really matter? Fan-fiction exists to disrupt canon or satisfy a desire unmet in the original work. It's not meant to be better and most fanfic writers do so with reverence, not arrogance. While I would draw the line at monetizing it or deceiving others into calling it part of the original universe, I think the concept is flattering. Whether a writer is capable of original work or not is moot-- more often than not, they truly love and admire the work they're using and want to play there. As the creator-god in my worlds, I feel benevolent about people wanting to borrow my playground. Play away, but regard my rights to its existence.

Straying just a bit there, but I truly feel the same way about genre. I've never felt some purist guardianship over things I love. It's certainly disappointing when a series I like starts to go downhill. A series will still sell long after it loses its appeal for people and I'd never say it shouldn't. People still enjoying it should be able to without worrying that my dislike will ruin it. Most TV series lose me by the end of the third season. Most books I've enjoyed get a maximum of ten books before I'm done (generous since really, most don't hold me beyond 7). It's not that I don't still play in those worlds, it's mostly that I no longer want to be directed through it.

So, yes, I can be particular, but the difference is, I don't expect my preferences to hold some sway in what is canon to genre. In my mind, genres are meant to be tested and deviated and crossed. Purists want things to be easier for them, but it stifles the progression of ideas to maintain these things, to boot out all rule breakers for the preservation of their particular standards. It essentially makes it difficult for readers who are bored with safety, yet the divisions of genre required to separate everything also end up being a nightmare for the purists. They (general example here) don't want you to use the term 'fantasy' at all if it's not HIGH fantasy or it's not sci-fi if the technology is based in magic. Romance/erotica being allowed to use 'fantasy' at all really irks some of them, even though if you ask someone what their fantasy is, it's usually immediately thought to be a sexual question. Epic fantasy/romance themes like I write really suffer where purities are concerned because essentially it's both and neither where genres lay out the rules. That constant separation completely defeats any claim in infinite possibilities. You might like a LOT of possibilities, but once the boxes are checked, you've become particularly low-res in the scheme of things.

I get that 'you like what you like', but discovering a great read really shouldn't be easy. If it is, that's also where you tend to run into a lot of bored elitism, ones that always claim to always be able to spot the cream of the crop but on observation, really just latch onto debuts that the publishers themselves market the shit out of. They seem more concerned with being 'first' than really exhibiting why it's 'good' and if they do say why, it's never unique to what you'd find in EVERY review. In order to maintain they know their shit, they have some warped sense that parroting these things means that they essentially inspired all of it.

Phew, call me dark, but deflated egos are still a fun shit-show to watch. I am never the one to pop them, but I'm grabbing the popcorn when someone else does...

All right, I won't pick on the most disturbed of my fellow nerds/geeks. I'm sympathetic to what draws the need for an obsession, so I can't say I'm in to see people be completely destroyed by any upset to their traditions. Rattled, yes-- we all need a hard shake from time to time, but the science-fiction/fantasy wars will never end no matter how much more eloquently someone argues it than me. There will always exist a vocal minority that will gain and lose ground with opinions. Wouldn't have it any other way actually. On rare occasion, someone does have a point I haven't looked at, but not every new point is pivotal and most are absurd, Some 'new' points are just reworded or fancier analogies.

Just to shoot the shit, I've actually seen a vegan argument devolve into comparing detractors to pedophiles, cannibals, Nazis... Every argument was an exaggerated analogy, completely using emotion and personal morality to unsuccessfully shame. When their facts can be refuted with other facts (mass agriculture being just as harmful as mass factory farming), then it's back to an emotional temper tantrum. Really, once you've seen how they thrash in the net, everything else is just so tame by comparison.

All right, no more controversy. Fans of everything, you do you. And only you, maybe, because the world is meant to be a colorful place. Oranges and all (if you get how I struggle with orange, this makes more sense. I no longer hate orange, but it took some maneuvering).

Speaking of color (that was not an accidental transition), COLOR-PORN TIME!

As promised, we have the controversial Melchior.

For hair, I went with Persian Plum as the base. He's meant to have unnaturally red hair, but I wanted to steer away from anything to orange and go just a tad into a more purple/pink to cool and darken it. I searched through the crimsons for this one. I never saw him as the strictest redhead-- no green eyes, freckles, skin that doesn't tan but burn. I saw old blood, flame, and bitterness in him so his redheadedness is symbolic of atypical traits as well.

As for the eyes? I found freightliner blue for this one. I always find it fun when sliding around yields a 'named' color in the Encycolorpedia. I wanted yet another dark yet vivid color. In the book, I call it a cobalt blue, but the 'pedia's cobalts were a bit too light and purple for my Crayola memories of this color. I wanted the saturation to play well for this combination.

I don't typically write 'bad' villains. He wasn't born bad or rotten or necessarily IS, for that matter. When I look at these colors, I still see enough light to reflect a human rather than a trope. However you place a villain on the morality scale, creating a conflict in the reader can be a rewarding attempt.

I won't give away too much of Melchior's back story or story here. I consider many of his angles to be pivotal and it would be tough not to spoil anything since his meddling bleeds into so many plots, directly and indirectly.

There won't be any color-porn in the next post (although that's just not in the plans-- doesn't mean I won't change my mind). I don't just want to limit it to a way to talk about my characters at least. I may continue it as a color-for-inspiration theme. I've thought about random picture prompting as well, but I'll throw it around in my head, see what sticks. Either way, we'll see. I did schedule all of these posts within a two-day period, just to be able to push blogging aside to work on UnSung. The next posts might actually contain some updates on that and more since I'm squirreling away time to focus more tightly on those priorities. Will I have some sketches or progress to share? Not sure, but I like to attempt new things on a whim, so let's leave it up to that!

I like to end posts by posing questions, so back on the original topic-- do you think it's important to separate the distinction of sci-fi and fantasy? Marketing ploy, valuable tool for selection; what do you think? If you do feel strongly on genre separation, I'd especially love to hear it. It's the other side of my coin, so feel free to be the devil's advocate!

Friday, August 10, 2018

How to Research

It never occurred to me that this isn't common knowledge until I've had friends and family genuinely surprised that I found something almost instantly that they haven't been able to find after a bunch of fruitless searching. It's not even a generational issue since my nephews and my dad are just as likely to be the ones coming to me about something. I'll suss this one out for you in list form, since apparently, people like lists. (Psh, I love lists. I think in lists, so my attempts to sound excluded are LIES.)

  • One word: Boolean

    Why is this such a big deal? Well, it's basically the language of search engines. While voice services where you scream at Google/Siri/Alexa have come a long way in making your questions more convenient to ask, sometimes your most stubborn curiosities just need a basic knowledge of the logic of a search. 

    In actuality, efficiency is about eliminating the whole question. Stick to the most exact and simple form of it. You don't need 'where I can buy x brand of Phillips-head screwdriver?' 'Buy screwdrivers' is usually a good place to start. Why not be specific? Well, often, merchant sites have their own hierarchy for searching specific items and really, it's best to enter from the home page to type specifics or narrow it down with their search trees. In the event that a better or newer model of something exists, you'll have a better chance of seeing the best possibilities for your needs. What if it's a model they don't make anymore? I'll assume you can't remember what store it came from when it was. In that case, you're probably going to do best with being more specific: 'ebay x brand Philips-head screwdriver'. And if you're one of those people who wants to be a pain in the ass and insist finding it in a physical store rather than a convenient auction/online outlet, then you're probably still going to start your search with 'craigslist' or some other classified posting.

    I'm sidetracking just a bit, but basics first. Boolean search strings aren't just about what you DO want, but you can also specify what you DON'T. Let's say you type in 'elflocks' and you get an overload of 'dreadlocks' (they're different and it's not just an ethnicity thing). A Boolean search string will say 'elflocks AND NOT dreadlocks' to eliminate the lumped in searches and narrow it down. If you want EXACTLY what you typed, through some quotations on that part. 'buy "The Last Unicorn" movie' is one example.

    For more on Boolean, I'll link you to your options. This could really mean a world of difference in finding exactly what you're after.


     Gimme a Rabbit Hole!

    Sometimes you know you need something-- inspiration, an abstract idea-- but have no actual idea where you can produce results. It's common knowledge that you can use sites like YouTube or even social media to drum up some random, but the best way you can get some help is to make sure you're making the most of those trackers/cookies/stalking capabilities that come with those free accounts. Liking posts you're genuinely interested in, or videos or just building a search history rather than always clearing it-- each of these triggers algorithms that get to know what you like. This is part of the reason Google connects your personal account to Chrome for personalized bookmarks and histories. Even if multiple people use the same computer, signing in (and out!) of your account keeps track of your interests and will suggest or lead you to your general interests. My homepage on Google always has a list of articles concerning video games, books-- things I've looked for in general that start to become more indicative of my interests as I use these services. It's not just about showing your love to your friends and favorite artists-- it also helps the internet and specific sites create an environment tailored to how you use it.

    Valuable SubSearches

    You have Google and Bing and, I don't know, 15+ different search engines you can make your bitch on the most stubborn searches, but sometimes your most valuable engines aren't going to be the ones with the biggest databases but the smartest. That's where your bookmarks become a huge asset to your searches. If you're a bookmark junkie, use the Toolbar feature to throw your top folders or sites for one click access. If you're big on travel, then labeling a folder TRAVEL and throwing in sites like Travelocity, PriceLine, Expedia, and so on, will help you make quick comparison leaps on the best deals. And yes, it's often necessary to use all of them, even though many of them share databases. The reason they exist separately is because they do secure 'exclusives' and your trip could be the lucky niche with the amazing deal. When my dad wants to get a good deal, he knows I can nail it down faster because I keep my sub-sites in order.

    Sometimes you're trying to find a word when you can't even think of the synonym for the word you can't think of.  In this case, your 'sub' might resort to social media. Specialized groups for your particular stumper are one great niche, but you can also use broader springboards like Quora. Sometimes people will ask you the right questions to lead you into your specifics.

    Familiarity

    Experience is going to be where you'll build success in what you need for your research. Sometimes you're just tired, well outside of your most productive self, and just need to completely step away. I always suggest to writers to always keep a notepad or your phone/devices on hand to jot down even a word or two. It might not be convenient to actually do the search when you finally think of it, but most scenarios do allow for a little word entry until you can get to it. Of course, I've turned people into my personal dictation machines before. "Ooo, poisonous plants, poisonous plants-- don't forget that while I look for a pen!" Because yeah, sometimes your phone is charging in the back room or you left your notepad on the bathroom sink and you have to borrow the nearest brain for a moment.


    Really, most writers are pretty hip to all of this, but assuming as much is how efficiency can get lost in time. Boolean search strings are one such thing I tend to surprise people with. In fact, modern conveniences can end up dumbing down the mastery part of a task. It's great to be a jack of all trades in modern times, but once you start to narrow down aspects of what you want in life, sometimes you need to know what you didn't know to look for. Research is one of those areas where there's only so far you can fake it before the devil comes out. You can take some artistic liberties with some genres (fantasy, especially) but you still need to explain your logic. Nonfiction will be less forgiving, but even traditional publishers may expect updates to your nonfiction work as information changes or inconsistencies are spotted. You don't want to overhaul your fiction as much because it can create confusion when you dismantle the facts between editions.

    Hopefully, this will lead you all to more fruitful searches and inspirational distractions! Happy hunting!

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Why Write Fantasy?

For some people, this is probably an easier answer. Maybe it's always been your favorite genre or it's how you think. In my case, most of the entertainment I consume isn't fantasy. Video games, yes, but aside from my love of superheroes, I'm not someone that looks for fantasy shows or movies first. My tastes tend to lead me to comedy, dramas, medical and crime, even documentaries. So when I ask myself 'why write fantasy?', I had to do some digging. I'll have to jump around a bit, but there are a lot of layers to this.

I've come into adult concepts since childhood that I've struggled to understand even as an adult. When we struggle to understand, sometimes we give up and end up either accepting it unexplained or developing a stance of ignorance. There's even a lot of ego in our youth that tells us it's tolerance that makes it acceptable to just let our emotions lead, but as we grow up, we look for logical ways to be at peace with the unknown. We start to accept that the good and bad in people is subjective and variable and that we often say things that don't match our actions. For example, while people might generally see as tolerant, we often say something before we've thought it out that twists that. I watched an old video where Kelly Osbourne slipped up and said "If you kick Latinos out of your country, who will be cleaning your toilets, Donald Trump?" And most of us winced but at the same time, we knew what she bungled at trying to simplify too quickly. In this country, immigrants, legal or no, have a reputation for a work ethic that most entitled citizens, including Trump himself, would never touch. Kick out the people who are grateful to do thankless jobs and what good is it for any of us?

Because I'm not gifted with impeccable selections of speech on the fly, I tend to be more sympathetic when people, who normally do harmonize with their favorable character, stick their foot in their mouth and realized their attempts to simplify have to be explained with a lot more complexity once they've smeared it. I replay a lot of bungled conversations in my head. Sometimes even when I do well, I'll think of ten better ways to say it later. Words can have a powerful effect on our reactions and emotions, but I agree when free speech, hate speech or not, is protected. Words themselves might incite a lot of strong things, but I believe that the listener, the consumer, is ultimately responsible for their actions, that words are not actions unless they directly threaten to escalate (I'm going to kill you) or incite violence (we will meet here to kill you). I don't know about you, but I want to know who hates me. I don't want these people, disgruntled, silenced, sitting in basements, stirring a bitter stew that will hit me without warning. I think oppressing speech is doing more towards encouraging violence than just being disturbed by vitriol. 

That being said, communication of my ideas is very important to me, not that everyone fall in love with everything I say and do. When we speak out, we must accept that people will react, but the consequences of reacting violently are illegal and a crime and you can't blame words alone-- only your own immaturity towards the manifestation of your reactions. I certainly encourage people to counter hate speech with rebuttals and logic whenever possible-- I envy speakers like Jordan Peterson, Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, and even comedians like Joe Rogan. Even if you don't like their message or what I'm about to say, it's hard to deny that they deliver their messages brilliantly and with a practiced ease I envy. I struggle to get better at public speaking, but I think I would love to say things that such talented people could deliver with their focus and force of reason. I suppose as a woman, it's taboo to say that I would want a man to speak my words for me. I might also pick Christina Hoff Summers, a choice feminist whose levelheadedness I also envy, would work too. What these people have in common-- they claim responsibility for their words, grow with new information, and don't really lose their cool even when they raise their voice. They survive Q&As without dissolving into incoherent frustration.

Even explaining that, it still seems lacking to sufficiently encompass my choices as a writer. It is difficult to summarize, but words are a responsibility with consequences that can be justified, right or wrong, but how do we choose a medium to explore them?

Again, why fantasy, when I clearly have a love for understanding reality and have a solid basis in it? Well, the whimsical outlet of fantasy allows me to explore the deeper concepts of light and dark through metaphor. Not good and bad, mind you, since moral concepts also have levels of societal acceptability and individual experience. Often, there's a general consensus of what we know we can or can't be punished for, but individual mentality or even mob mentality often kicks against where 'morals' attempt to oppress people concerning even the use of their own bodies. And yes, personally, even when it's widely accepted to be moral or immoral, we come up with logical exceptions that bear consideration. It's extremely difficult for people to voice unpopular opinions, so we all need to find a playing field where we can test those doubts, fears, and curiosities. Non-fiction, where my life is concerned, has too many consequences for being tactlessly earnest.

It would be nice if adulthood was a magical escape from childhood dilemmas, but as an adult, I'm often pulled back into the lessons of my immediate past. I know both what it is like to be a child that had been through hell that some adults have not and to be an adult who is often disregarded as childish (I laugh freely, often and girlishly even at 37). I write adult fiction right now because my childhood just isn't kid friendly. I do use whimsical themes to bridge the gap but these adult themes do resonate with my real battles from adolescence.

Some people could make the argument that it is inappropriate for characters of a certain age to run into certain situations. Unfortunately, it's an uncomfortable truth for some of us. It's not a mark of how little your parents care or love you because it IS a sign of love and trust for them to let you explore the big bad world and hope you come back, alive, when you need a respite. The world does not and cannot protect us from the curiosities of reality. Nor should it. It should definitely have laws to protect against harm and it does, ones that at best will change as the world needs it to. What stands is that a child can and does get beat down by adult things. Telling a child that they can't possibly understand insults, abuses and raises their vitriol when they are certain they are not just living in it, but are one of the new demons who come to poke and ridicule them. Disbelief only reinforces it.

And yes, there are also attention-seeking predators, even children, who see that a tortured soul draws the sort of attention they want and mimics it insincerely. One thing I love about a Jordan Peterson video I watched is that he doesn't believe in 'erring on the side of caution'. (video here -- I encourage you to watch it and form your own impressions. Just taking what I say on faith is like playing a game of telephone. Always go from the source in case my interpretations carry a bias.)When he suspects that a patient is asking him to cater some demand of uniqueness with a privilege that they simply feel entitled to but doesn't stand to help them to pretend, he calls them out on it. He admits that sometimes he is wrong, but shows that it is imperative that we test the resolve of people's demands, to see if they are simply trying to mold others or truly find themselves. As a psychologist, he has seen that entertaining people's delusions does not help them learn how to grow as themselves. It's a very tough topic to discuss and he manages to find the words very eloquently. I even appreciate that he shows his thoughtfulness and consideration as he attempts to arrive at his answer. He's not just reading off of a script or parroting a false ego.

Diverting from the technical sides of my choice, I feel a kinship with harsh realities and the possibilities of fantasy. Life isn't just receiving our scars, but bearing them, even showing them in the sunshine. We can assemble armies or meet magical creatures, attune to our inner child or come to terms with being an adult. Even when we explore ourselves through our work, it doesn't assure hidden agendas, at least not intentionally. I've heard people make rather nefarious leaps of accusation-- underage sexuality? Pedophilia! Women writers detailing sex? Turns men gay (and I'm talking heterosexual sex even; apparently we force male readers to resume the stance of a woman to trick them into lusting for the male body. I couldn't even make this shit up)! Graphic calculated violence? Serial killer in the making!

I've always been a firm believer that saying it/playing it is often enough. Playing the games, watching the movies, reading the books, is often the satisfaction of the curiosity not the catalyst to demand more. When I write controversial topics, it is not done in secret delight, always the representative of my desires. I write things that make me downright uncomfortable. I can write something that titillates me and something that disgusts me in the same day even. Of course, those attention-seeking predators I mentioned before often look to call these the catalysts of their murder sprees, rapes, etc. Why? Because we create excuses for addictions, heinous acts, absolve people as brave for doing bad things and 'redeeming themselves', a culture that CREATES visibility for monstrous acts, encouraging people to abuse themselves and others so they can earn relevance for just doing what decent people do invisibly. Writers see this and make them into believable villains. Whether it humanizes or dehumanizes them, whether it's right or wrong is moot. We should continue to piss each other off, entertain each other, release words in ways that make people become curious, challenged. Do you back people up into a wall and tell them they're not cornered if they climb? Is there a rope, a ladder, a trampoline? Is the wall tall or short? Do you stop your pursuit or do they have to worry you're concealing a knife to drive into their back when they turn away? Presentation is everything.

Fantasy just aligns with the way I want to present my ideas. I'm not writing a book on psychology because it can't always be clinically accurate or documented in studies. There's a lot we don't understand about the brain and how it works. What other place could I bring to life the monsters under the bed, the monsters you mistake for friends, the smiles that hide the villains? It's not the only genre I will use, but right now, I'm in love with the way I can build characters and plots and puzzles and worlds and creatures, to lay color to the concepts and ideas around me? How else can I bridge the muddy transitions of childhood and adulthood with any clarity or understanding? How else can I mystify romance and horrify violence, overblowing it but making it logical to the landscape?

Fantasy is whimsy, fantasy is darkness, fantasy is triumph and tragedy.

On that note, I really can't wait to see this Welcome to Marwen movie. I'm not a very emotional consumer, but I teared up a bit just on the trailer. It does align with themes I work with and even inspired this post. One day, I hope to build up the scale of ways to present my own ideas. It's not unusual for writers to see movies in their head while creating, but I'm also well aware that a screenplay is a different creature than a novel (hey, did I mention I'm a screenplay editor? So it seems like a logical course to try it out someday). You can't dream too big.

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Thinking Outside Your Genre

As of lately, I know my mind being in my work has led largely to talking around it but I'm sure for my writer friends, this is a place where we grab the sails and ride the wind for all its transient and precious value.

However, I have to say it's the work of others that I also feel compelled to account for these moments. Once more, a very valuable relationship I have with another writer plopped a second go at reading a screenplay I'm always excited to see the evolution of and it really propelled me into my current edit with renewed buoyancy. Antonio Maccagnan-- I need you all to remember this name because his work has the sort of depth, humor, emotional depth and versatility that even this crazy world can't ignore. I find his style and enthusiasm to be really instrumental into the courage and confidence that feeds my own work.

It can be really difficult to find a truly sincere camaraderie among other writers and if I can give you more valuable advice from this, it's to look outside of your usual genre for those connections. Or in this case, it's not always a deliberate action you take. When I received a private message asking me to take a look at his work, it was through a FaceBook group that I had joined only hours before and one I hadn't yet even posted in. Perhaps because it was a personal request rather than a general post, it appealed to my curiosity. Yet another takeaway for you-- just like agents aren't fond of being a CC in an email for general queries, your best beta readers are probably going to be the ones you seek out with individual consideration.

For one, there is no immediate feeling of safety or even competition in the mix. When you're not looking for 'experts' in your genre, you're getting truly fresh eyes. They are often still adept as writers with a similar passion for story-telling but they have completely different angles and approaches that can really enhance what you bring to your genre. Rather than looking for new ideas (difficult to near-impossible), you find a new way to tackle themes that can add depth to your piece that falls well outside trend and predictability. Ideas are wonderful to have, but you're going to find your voice is lent more to how you set the stage, the play of dialogue-- all things that aren't locked in the safety of your usual genre.

When you're not looking for someone to echo your thoughts, you even find very valuable exchanges in the disagreements. I don't always feel immediately comfortable offering what I would have done differently, but when you can build that level of rapport where your opinions hold more weight, then it becomes an experience outside of technicality, editing, a true exchange of knowledge leading to insight into your work that is often overlooked by a casual observer.

That being said, I do hope to be able to do some active searching for what my friends are doing this year. If you're one of these friends that I've expressed an interest in your work then haven't said much since, it wasn't just empty flattery. I know that's a thing for some people, but I don't do it. Truly, I have been immersed in my work and my intent to seek out your work is still in my radar. Right now, it's come down to the ones that seek me out and ask my opinion on something specific. Because my focus is very singular, the ones that give me 'homework' and a clear aim are something I find time for first and foremost. Nope, you don't have to beg or get too formal with me, just hit my inbox or comments and if I can fit it in, done and done. It's always an honor when a friend finds my input valuable.

I never want to give the impression that it's easy to build those relationships and for some of us, reaching out is a paralytic thought. If you're not the active seeker then be the one who offers an open door. Gently remind people you want to hear their 'pitch' and work out what you have time for. Gathering valuable relationships isn't scything fields of wheat, it's more like panning for gold. Find peace in the process rather than developing anxiety when things just aren't panning out. Sometimes you have to let go of active searching, switching into a more passive state so you can continue developing the work you want people to look at. If you're frustrated by time spent fruitless, stagnant on a stubborn path of unmet expectations, give it a passive assignment so you can give the active time to your work.

You'll fall into old traps of unproductive states from time to time, but I hope this can serve as a reminder that you're not quitting when you change priorities. You're placing value on your progress, prioritizing the work. Don't cling to what you think should be a bestseller and ignore the potential to expand your future work now. Many writers hustle to put out work consistently for many years before they find an audience. It's not because their work isn't good or they're doing anything wrong. Many of them met up with the harsh realities of obscurity but kept building their vision. Visibility isn't all advertisements, spam posting, and waving your arms around. It's often about standing your ground, moving just enough to make sure the strongest parts are always under your feet.




Like wacky waving inflatable tube man, it can be a little dizzying, but don't forget that there is no lack of direction (and redirection) to keep up the momentum of inspiration and action.

You, too, can do this! And for the low, low price of free (+labor, materials, time, and putting up with your muse), you will rock! You signed up for this so take it for all it's worth. 

On a side note...

I know some writers get discouraged that most, if not all, of your friends and family are not fans of your work. Do remember that this is very typical and is not an indication of your talent or their love/support. I'm fully aware that sometimes family isn't a guaranteed source of love and support. For years, my aspirations were largely scoffed at and I can even admit it was rightly so. I kept notebooks, sketchbooks, never really focusing on anything, never having a complete show for the discipline of what I was doing. People will think you're not serious-- until you publish a book or two or ten, until they start seeing people commenting about your work on social media. Sometimes it takes a lot of visible little victories to start recruiting some of your closest friends. Sometimes the reason for this isn't awful-- many people closest to you are hesitant to enable you to flounder on your potential. They want to see you reaching beyond their safety to reach others. 

Yes-- some of those toxic people won't ever come around, won't ever knock on your door unless you're wildly famous or are even eager to see you fail because they are afraid you'll prove them wrong. I can also tell you that these people are both very few and will also crowd your view of what is actual and what matters. Toxic people are often like ink on your windshield, keeping you from seeing the cheering fans or even the sunlight. They are not the sum of all that's out there. If someone you respect and love isn't coming around, it may be time to take inventory of what you are putting out there. I've found that most of those people aren't hard to win over. The time it takes to accomplish something big is not the correct value to place on their approval either. When you want that journey for yourself, it isn't reasonable to place all of that weight, all of that struggle as what it took to win someone. That kind of assessment will only feed the bitter, resentful troll in your own head. Rather, understand that they might have already known you had it in you but didn't want to lay the weight of that on you to add to your failure if you couldn't come through.

I know the people that didn't ride my ass, either in opposition or support, when I struggled to perform weren't cruel. They were cautious of how vulnerable that process was for me and even trusted me to find my way. I can appreciate that no one tried to hold my hand because I needed both of them to type (and even when I draw, the non-dominant hand was useful for the hotkeys on my tablet). What speaks volumes is that their silence turned into words of pride for me, buying my books and even calling me an 'author' in conversation. Or like my bestie Emily says, a 'sensei'.

All in all, your passion-people are out there and they're probably not going to be who you expect them to be. The work is what will draw them, for better or worse, so don't apologize for the time and energy you need to spend to make that happen. Let your family and friends take on their important role as is and don't expect them to take on the fan role. More often than not, they'll have the important role of helping you through the ups and downs so you're not blowing off steam everywhere else and turning people off of your work. Their impartiality can be important in reminding you that you're still valuable outside of your work, that indeed you are still a pretty amazing person regardless.

Monday, January 8, 2018

Rebel, Rebel, Be Aware of Your Choices

There was a conservative rule I heard many years ago to never start a story with a curse word. You'll lose too many conservative readers that way. So I filed it away in the back of my mind with that whispering voice saying 'watch me.'

It's not that I intended to piss people off. It just seemed like both a challenge and immediate honesty. In my adult stories, adults gets mad and cuss. Some people do that. If my character is a cold-blooded assassin, it would seem silly to give them conservative scruples about language.

I waited until the story fit. In UnNamed, it fit like a glove. The sample is up and it's glaringly obvious. This guy is pissed, begrudgingly returning to follow some confusing urge to finish what he started. It's not the entirety of his character and he certainly doesn't drop f-bombs like one of the teenagers around where I live who only have the bravery to string them together when their mom isn't around to smack them upside the head.

There are many ways I'll deceive and lie to weave a story. I'm forthright about the content however. I won't hook you into my story with promises of purity then decide to jump out of a box with dildos. Mostly because I haven't had a story to tell like that, but that 'adult' label is there for a reason.

You can go against the grain with rules, but keep your story self-aware at the very least. In my experience, the biggest story killers including false virtue signaling that is never called out (some who swears over and over they are honest but lie constantly; no one calls them out on it and they don't ever develop as a character to either embrace it or change their ways) and Mary Sues. Mary Sues are those characters that no matter what happens, they are as good as safe with no actual consequences. The male equivalent being Glenn in The Walking Dead series. In order to remedy that backlash, he was killed off almost comically.

It's not that I don't see a writer's appeal in killing off characters. It's often annoying because of how lazy it seems. It's sometimes used to kill off ever having to delve into a complicated plot or just to say "see? I'm not too attached to them. They're dead now." Again, if there is some hope that those plot reveals lie with other characters, it is bearable. A writer deciding to tie up a great plot with a stupid death and a newspaper article is just poor planning.

Whatever moral scruples people have with my stories, I am aware of the importance of telling the story. I don't want the narration to become muddled with the apologies of a writer that is uncomfortable with their own story. For me, writing was about removing the annoyances I had with my own reading experiences and writing those things that I wished a story would be. I didn't want hard agendas, political commentary, and personal religious beliefs buried in my fiction.

As I said, there are many ways a storyteller will lie and deceive to make it interesting. Being aware of what I'm doing doesn't impede my decisions. I would love to have a bestsellers someday, but it will be a sweeter victory if I didn't have to sacrifice the integrity of my story just to get there.

I'm not really out to change minds. I just don't think I should invalidate my own preferences to make someone else feel comfortable. When I silence myself, I may be destroying the opportunity to reach those people who needed what I was too afraid to share. Seems like a missed opportunity.

Many of my most commercially successful friends write in genres most of you have never heard of or quickly ran from. The reception from their fans is heart-warming, grateful someone wrote what others were afraid too. It's not going to make them mainstream, but their enthusiasm and feedback is the stuff worth envying.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Men and Women Writers: Where's the Bias?

This is a topic that tends to come up with frustration on how to explain it, but let's attempt to dissect this a little more.

As you should know by now, I am a female writer and author.  I know there are some fundamental and biological differences between men and women as well as the tendency to be more masculine and feminine.  Being a woman with more masculine traits or vice versa can conflict with society's perception of your identity, but many people who fall into that category are perfectly capable of making the distinction and embracing both their biology and their tendencies.

Some well-meaning people will say that 'there's no problem with how men/women do this' but then admit to what they think are harmless biases that affect their taste.  When writers see this, it can cast odd doubts about whether they wrote 'like a man/woman' and if they should announce it in an attempt to 'warn' their audience.  It's an odd bit of entitlement that some people want assurances on the content of the books before even reading it, especially when a feminine/masculine viewpoint or tone could very well be the whole basis of a surprise premise that could be ruined by assumption.

I caught myself debating.  Sure, I write like a woman, if that means I develop my characters emotionally and they aren't perfect tropes.  Yet, it's silly that such a broad sweep of the brush like that is an acceptable way to lump women together when male writers also use this description without uncomfortable discussions.  

I've seen the argument of inclusion, which is not a gendered desire and also on an individual basis.  Some people want to roleplay a character of their gender.  They call it escapism to retreat into a single character.  Popular books in fantasy are often focused on a main character or two, one male, one female.  When a man does this, I often see it described as his motivation to achieve his goals, that one has value as being a plot device.  In the same turn, if a known woman uses a male and female group, there is the dismissive assumption that it's a romance.  It's not that the male writer did not develop the romance as well, but when a woman writes it, it's a distraction that interrupts the story.

Female writers in fantasy often use initials and the famous example is JK Rowling.  Women going through traditional publishing are often told they can remove any unconscious bias of quality or content by not disclosing they are women.  After all, it's only a female voice if you know it is.  Sure, publishers want to maximize the potential for profit, but they are only perpetuating the bias that there is a gendered difference.

However, when the market at aims at women, they aim low.  I read that a male writer in a female-dominated genre, crime thrillers, said that when he wrote in a woman's voice it was 'simpler, whereas when he wrote as himself it was more subtle and metaphorical.'  Readers in fantasy, however, tend to argue the exact opposite, that men get to the point whereas women work on prose and mood more elaborately.  If you take this to have truth, then it would stand to reason that women writers gravitate towards writing fantasy rather than other popular genres for women because they AREN'T simple writers.  They like to create rich lore and explore characters and motivations in depth. 

This is why I can't stress enough that whether or not you are uncomfortable, diversify your reading.  On purpose.  Choose by taste AND perspective, especially if you've made the blanket assumption that men/women write a certain way. Writers that gravitate towards a certain genre aren't coming with the sinister agenda to tear it down and rebuild it.  You ADD to the existing library, maybe out of a sense that where you've been placed isn't where you go.  So yes, when people assume that you don't go there because their comfort level is challenged, it can be insulting.

I get it, I do.  The YA fantasy genre tends towards women writers that write transparent romance as the entire vehicle.  Ultimately despite that JK Rowling wrote a book that perfectly fit that genre description but it is above par with any expectation you might have had because of the trends that clog it.  It seems like only when an author attains notoriety for being different do we realize that not all books in a genre are the same.

I myself didn't write an 'adult epic fantasy for women.'  I set out to write an epic fantasy.  Because my characters are adults, my premise required them to operate as such.  They use foul language, they have sex without always fading to black...  In a fantasy world with different rules and norms, they also conform or rebel to THEIR society as it pertains to their character and motives. Yes, I think their personal and public lives are relevant and that's why it's an adult story.  Now add 'women' to that and you're attaching a label that places a spotlight onto all other books marketed towards women as 'simple, angsty, emotional.'  I am happy to be a woman.  I am all for not hiding that.  Perceptions do need to change and they won't as long as women are afraid of their voice and their ability to succeed.  However, don't MARKET me as a female author, market me as someone who speaks for the genre, not all women.

I know you might wonder how that affects self-published women like myself who do all of our own marketing.  Well, it works the same way only we keep control rather than worry when our publishers will stop championing us.  The buyer's market is still trying to assume something.  I found it difficult to write a blurb without giving anything away because it's a many-layered beast so I started simply with the first character to make it more personal.  However, because the character is a woman and one that the other characters look up to, I'm sure it set off warning bells.  My alternative that I'm using for the full trilogy release will be vague.  Basically, a group of survivors after a series of attacks, goes on a quest for revenge, only to learn there are much bigger forces at work.  No matter how I try there is simply no way to elaborate that without giving away plot points and I know it sounds trite and common.  I work with it regularly, but to be honest, I never much gave a shit about the blurb myself.  When I didn't have a clear idea of what I wanted to buy already, I'd head over to a genre section and roll the dice.  Didn't care about the cover or the blurb because I've always known not to judge a book by its cover.

However, simpler times...  If these biases existed today, I wasn't hearing them.  Yeah, the internet wasn't a storm of information like it is now.  There's more of everything now, especially opinions.  Because of that there is more potential to flourish, but also more potential to destroy.  What you say and how you say it DOES plant earworms (or the visual/mental equivalent) and harmless statements of 'the way things are' IS harmful to a market that thrives on popular opinion.  The writer's dilemma is often the disparity between the intent of their work and the bias of the market.

And as I've heard said before, most writers are not representative of all of their unconditional parts.  Writers of color are not required to speak for everyone else of color.  Female writers are not representative of all women.  In this way, men do have an advantage because they CAN write without the general assumption that they are making a blanket statement applying to all men.  Yes, I think we can safely say some things are more feminine or masculine and not mean anything harmful.  However, intent and effect are causal and you have to remember that the less descriptive you are, the more room there is to twist it into something harmful.

In this way, I can't blame people for wanting to stay silent sometimes.  Words are things to be carefully considered.  In fact, writers painstakingly attempt to do just that.  It's perfectly fine to stay silent until your words have the power and logic you want them too.  We all have to sort through how we feel and think and not invalidate it in others because it's not how we feel or think.  Being less offended doesn't make you right.  Be unaffected doesn't mean you have the upper hand in logic.  Then again, no extreme gives you clout where assumptions are concerned.  Maybe you did assume something, thinking it harmless.  It's not bad to catch ignorance.  You might even need someone to elaborate so that you are changing your mind based on logic rather than how it benefits them.  

When someone is really about equality and fairness, they aren't trying to kick someone else under the rug.  The aim isn't to have it as good as someone else had it because that just means turning the tables and letting someone else have a turn at being the oppressor.  New generations aren't going to understand taking turns, only which side of a bad decision they were on.  In that respect, you may notice that while I talk about the market bias affecting women, I am also conscious of how it reflects badly on EVERYONE.  

Women don't want to be lumped in as fluffy writers (although if you are and it works for you, no shame in that either) and men don't want to be lumped in as the problem.  When you see me talking about these issues in forums, I am very clear that the bias also exists in women!  The debate here isn't woman vs. man at all so much as market bias vs. women.  In the example I gave, even though men do the same in crime thrillers, the discovery that they are men does not hurt them in the market.  Even women I have spoken with admit that a female voice sometimes makes them uncomfortable because the visibility of female authors has been so low, that a woman's voice isn't something they are used to. They also often believe that any romance written by women somehow clouds the story or that the writing will be colorful but flighty and shallow.  And yes, people will parrot popular books even when it was a lukewarm read for them.  People like the idea of having a lot of people to talk with about a book.  In that way, the success of a book IS about visibility.  If certain books are being dismissed by 'harmless' biases, they fade into obscurity.  Women are not trying to faze men out-- they want to be a part of the discussion because they are just as passionate.

You don't cook delicious food by adding the same ingredient over and over.  It would be boring if a recipe were paprika and more paprika.  We also don't have to add EVERYTHING into a pot.  Strawberries and paint shavings aren't a match.  The problem with trying to debate any topic is that someone tends to love their straw men.  You know what I'm talking about before I even say it.  You express your concern with Puerto Rico and someone pipes up 'but there are starving kids in Africa.'  Yes, and we don't like that either, but start another thread and go to town.  More than one problem can exist at a time and we are capable of caring about more than one, but please-- help people gain some insight.  The world is full of half-baked knowledge. As long as we duck in and out of conversations without any resolution we aren't learning anything but hearsay.  I promise I'm probably already on several different threads already and each one of them has at least one person wondering if they should feel guilty for not focusing on something else...

Phew, I know this was a long one, guys, and the longer they are, the more my focus wanders, but I feel fairly confident it all fits with the post heading.  I'd love to keep some posts short and sweet but it can be quite difficult with layered topics like this.  As a rule, I try to see the good in people.  Experience has made me cynical, but in all honesty, when I can connect with people socially and individually, my perceptions do expand more than attempting to engage a group discussion.  I tend to single people out and ask them questions as diplomatically as possible.  I'm never trying to put people on the spot and make them look bad and while I am direct, I also like to assure them that I am not making my problems override theirs.  It can be hard to do-- the internet is largely full of people who like to put people on the defensive.  My intent is to disabuse people of that.  

That's a good tip I can leave you with today: operate on curiosity.  Try not to join a discussion with the intent of being heard.  Look for answers, look for views, look to unruffle feathers and find someone's rational argument.  People are often afraid to play what they might think of as a passive role, but when you take someone out of their comfort zone, they are more likely to explain why if you don't taunt or belittle a sore spot.  One guy I talked to had mentioned that he was someone that read male-dominated roles so he could include himself in that role.  I was curious to know why he didn't branch out so I started with the assurance that wanting inclusion can be cool, but what made him uncomfortable about a more omnipotent view or a woman's role?  He admitted that he would probably have a field day with a psychologist, but his own trials in life made his need for escapism to eliminate his presence as a reader.  While literally escaping into a book is also a kick-ass premise for fantasy, he was doing the next best thing for him.  I'm never one to judge someone for being weird, so I appreciated the candor.  I wasn't trying to force him to diversify or confront things he would need to see a therapist for-- it was important that he knew that.  What he was doing for himself isn't wrong, but he was having difficulty explaining why he avoided a woman's voice and, since he did attempt to choose his words well, I think he deserved for his words to be heard right and also not perpetuate a bias.  To summarize, ask your hard-hitting questions, but give someone the security to answer honestly.  If you think you're going to dig the truth out of everyone by being tactless, you will barely brush the surface.  When you want to know, humble yourself to the task.

See, this is why I write novels...  I can't really leave on any note without kicking and screaming... with diplomacy, of course. 

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

In Pillows, No One Can Hear You Scream

I've spent a bit of time looking at demographics, marketing, success and failure, probably working myself into the wrong mindset, but the wrong mindset is one of my superpowers.

I keep reverting back to the thing that matters: I love what I do.  Every. Damn. Step.

I've begun to have a rhythm to my workflow.  The books for this series are written, but it didn't stop there.  I've started two more fantasy stories, a romance novel, a sci fi crime novel and a couple of ideas that sit in my DUMB ASS notebook where I've started writing all the things I forget how to do when I haven't done them in a few months.  I still read them, to edit and to enjoy, and I don't get sick of them.  Regardless of how they sell, they are so ME that I remove my doubts when I remind myself of that.

I'm probably not going to get any badass points for appealing to the market trends, but it was exactly what I needed to express and exactly what I wanted from the genre and the cause.  Yes, I would love to get critical feedback to improve, but hell, I'll still write in my echo chamber and love the forest for the trees.

I've made amazing friends out of female authors of varying success.  Don't get me wrong-- I've tried to befriend the males too but the camaraderie never happens.  Sometimes they're wildly successful.  Then again, some of my gals are too but they seem to see more value in building relationships with other authors.  There's a lot of denial that it's a boys club and I didn't want to believe it because I enjoy epic fantasy, but the fact remains, there are men that will admit things like not wanting to read a female main character, don't like the female perspective, need moar swords, etc.  I respect the honesty but at the same time, fuck all that.  I'm not anti- or pro- feminism but there's been a sickening show of bias in the most prominent fantasy fan groups.  But you know what?  I don't want their audience or negativity if they just intend to use those biases to dampen my ambitions.  They may not be my favorite people, but I'm also not going to pout and cry bigotry because that's a giant waste of time and energy I could spend building valuable friendships and doing what I love.

Ah, the drawing is something I'm more intimately aware of and I don't quite get the same reservations.  I've had a thick skin here because it's always been my first love.  Can't you draw anything realistic?  First time I hear that, I was probably 12 years old and I had narrowed my eyes and told him I draw what I like.  And it's always been true.  I've had so much frustration trying to draw things with that universal appeal but absolutely no affect on me.  So I don't.  I can draw like that, but it feels like trying to draw mechanically with someone else's hand.  I stopped caring if people didn't like my style or thought I should impress people with realism.  I see tons of people doing it and it's undoubtedly awesome, but none of it really sticks with me.  Im still captivated by the anime styles and the influence Disney always had on me and THAT is what moves me.

So from the beginning, I've had to face the fact that I'm not highly marketable.  I've looked after the niche market of one. I have not a single clue how to get feedback and I've stopped wasting time worrying about it.  I maintain visibility.  I post something new every week on every social media channel I signed up for.  I stay positive (but do disclose the reality on my blogs-- it does other authors no good, myself included, to suppress any human doubt or discouragement).  I love my work and I will continue to do it because I have a life goal of filling a shelf with my printed books.  And when that's done, I'll probably want to fill another.

Whatever awaits me, I often have to grab that pillow and scream.  Sometimes to muffle excitement, sometimes to let out some frustration.  Mostly so I don't scare the neighbors. I'm a professional-- frustration is no casual acquaintance of mine.  Frenemies maybe.  Do people still use that word?  Oh, that's right, I'm a fantasy author that adds hundreds of words with red squiggly lines on a weekly basis.  We don't really care what's in fashion.  We build worlds.

So even at my low points, I sometimes have remember why I started this.  Why, at my lowest points, I wiped away the tears, swallowed the pain, and picked up that pen.  Whether you want to see more or not, I'm spamming your book retailers with my catalog.  I promise I'm not giving up.  I've been through hell and I've got plenty left to give.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

A Weeeeee Bit of Vanity

I don't want to spoil my books or tell people anything to influence the experience, but sometimes I labor intensely to describe them without giving anything away.  The blurb is often said to be the hardest part-- trying to hook interested readers without giving away the juicy bits.  It seems the richer a story, the harder that gets!  We end up reducing it down to "It's about a person that meets these other people, who have this in common, and they face adversity trying to solve this problem..."

I have to admit, I read my blurbs and I'm never satisfied.

My series is set in a made-up world.  It has cultural influences loosely based on places I know about, either naturally or through research.  At first, I had written the first chapter after playing Final Fantasy XII over a decade ago.  If you played the game and thought it oddly familiar you know why.  Princess Ashelia's kingdom is invaded on her wedding day, her betrothed is killed in the attack.  It was a scene that had a lot of impact on me at the time and it's still powerful.  From there, I broke away from inspiration.

You may be able to see inspirations from Dragon Age as well although I had never played the game until I was partway into the fifth book of my series.  I was blown away by how similar my concept was and was a bit chagrined, thinking the comparison would definitely be noticed.  Only I was still using a more adult-oriented Final Fantasy direction.

My fascination while writing these books was the discrepancies between history and legend.  How often those lines are vastly blurred due to a bias or someone attempting to fill in the missing pieces.  When writing lore, I used a very basic concept of gods and their creations, a concept found in a lot of mythology.  In the second trilogy, I borrow very obviously from a semi-familiar mythology but place a very different spin on it...

I've warned people that these books are not for children because I don't fade to black on sex scenes (if I find relevance in their details) and they are all over the map in terms of what people are comfortable with.  I don't hold your hand and tell you what to enjoy or what not to enjoy.  There is no wrong answer.  It's your experience throughout, not just regarding this.

The problem with the blurb is, well, you could attempt to reduce each of my points into one sentence and you end up with something like this: A story that questions the validity of history and legend, inspired by Final Fantasy and Dragon Age, in yet another made-up world.  Oh, and there's sex in it.

I don't have to tell you what is wrong with that.  

Dress it up however you want, it just doesn't cover the richness that ten years of work and doing everything myself might entail.  Instead, I have to pick a theme that runs the gamut of the book and it's the woman you meet at the beginning attempting to lead others against questionable foes and the relationships that develop between them influencing whether they succeed or fail.  She isn't the main character.  The chapters are set up like short stories from an omnipotent and sometimes intimate viewpoint where each character plays the role in both assuming a hero's role (when they don't particularly feel like one) and the fact that luck and forces out of their control set them there with no guarantees they are needed or wanted for the role.  

One thing you learn about heroes is they rarely ever know it and they usually get embarrassed or shocked the first time they are called one.  I hinted at this in the title even: The Truth about Heroes.

I hesitate to tell you more because I'm not here to influence how you think.  I want to invoke your curiosity on how I do this, what relevance this fantasy has, all on your own.  I was hoping only that you wouldn't see it as fantasy and assume it was skin deep.  When you scratch the surface, you start to see the layers.  I did not write with an intense knowledge of the genre or what sells or what to emulate.  I wrote a story based on a passion for storytelling and the confidence in its value.

Please give it a try! From October 1st-5th, the e-book for the first book is available for free and I encourage people to read it and even visit me at Virtual FantasyCon October 15th-22nd where I can answer your questions or hear your thoughts.

I blog, I write fanfic, but I don't have awards or competitions under my belt, something I am seriously considering if not for any other reason than curiosity.   There are many authors that stayed under the radar before they gathered the courage to put themselves out there.  Wow, did I fly in blind, but I have no less confidence that I have a lot to offer readers.  Barring tastes, it is sound work that will only get better.  I plan to dabble in other genres and ideas, but I do hope to keep a steady center in fantasy.  

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Literary Shmiterary, Peddle that Smut!

I have to say, it's one of my favorite topics to revisit...

It's hard to establish yourself as a serious author.  Even if humor is your genre, you ultimately want to be seen as one.  It's clearly not a literal term.  Lump it in with words like 'real' or 'dedicated' if you must, but what most of us want is to be visible.  We did the time and we want to share!

Writers perhaps are a dime a dozen.  We live in a time where everyone is 'working on a book' or dumping every errant thought into social media, touting how 'real' they are, one-HUNDRED, cutting-edge, no holds barred!  Only being bluntly honest sometimes has the effect of coming off as so much shallow bluster and bravado.  I'm not talking about writers here...

Whether you choose to go traditional, self-published, or a hybrid, this post is more aimed at the official act of considering your work ripe for a paid market.  Sure, there are also the web-published, 'read it for free, donate if you want' set and even as a published author, I went through the paces of setting up a Patreon.  Maybe you bought my work and you want to do more to help me achieve my writing and/or personal goals.  I certainly won't weigh in on the wisdom of being in the free market and still profiting off of what people think you are worth.  Takes plenty of balls, of the male or female variety, as well.

There's a certain amount of courage involved in setting a price tag on your skills as an artist.  It's a market that people feel most confident about haggling the cost.  People crowd the free book section of the internet or look for a pirated source, all too happy to tell you who does it better and that they can get it cheaper. Despite all that, there is still the stigma that it is somehow easier to work in an area you are passionate about.  Rather than seeing all of the blood, sweat, and tears that goes into painstakingly learning and mastering a skill, they see the few seconds, hours, days at most, spent looking at the results.  Even with my wearable crafts, the enjoyment or trend is usually temporary and often not equal to the quality or durability of the item.

We either follow the trends or ignore them and regardless of that choice, another set of obstacles is ready.  Follow the trends and you're a passionless wave-riding soul sucker out to make a quick buck, but ignore them and you're not business-savvy or you're trying too hard.  There's really a laundry list of accusations that you may deal with there...

Laying out some of the groundwork here, you'll see the tip of the iceberg in the hurdles to writing.  This brings me to my favorite topic: smut in literature.  If there is anything that brings more controversy to the table, it's the interesting and absurd comments that come from this one.  I personally enjoy that bit of liberation in my writing. And yes, admittedly it is much more prevalent a demand in the female audience.  I've discussed this with one of my best friends, that women are geared to get a lot more physical enjoyment from reading smut than in actual pornography sometimes.

This may be a little TMI for some of you, but let's inject some personal experience.  Because sometimes the more erotic elements DO get me a little hot and bothered, I have to be particularly dedicated to going back to edit it many, many times, regardless of whether I am in the mood to be hot and bothered again.  I think looking at it in my most frigid moments really helps me find the literary value past the gimmick though.  Now, if you're a lover of women, either as a woman or a man or some gender-queer variation, then you understand that one of the most necessary elements in our ability to enjoy sex isn't the orgasm; it's the foreplay.  It is not a purely physical state.  We often do derive this state through some visual enjoyment of our partner or some imagined partner, but there is a sort of mental collective that is often built solely on our ability to imagine what we want out of the experience.  It doesn't mean our lovers aren't necessary, if one is present, since there are many things that can be done that enhances what we think we want.  This concept tends to bother the control freaks that want to believe it's solely whatever they are doing that should initiate the pleasure.  However you want to look at it, I personally derive a sort of euphoria from the assistance of words in my imagination, either through my own expression or someone else's words.  I can easily derive similar experiences from porn or another medium, but the point is, women naturally have this built into them.  All too often I see men say that they just don't get it, and I could no more explain the exact biology of it than I can explain the chemistry of attraction.  Men CAN enjoy stimulation through literature and it's not because they are particularly feminine; it's because they have the vivid ability to physically enjoy a sort of voyeurism or placing themselves into the scenario.  Not everyone is capable of lucid dreaming or plagued with night terrors.  It's not something that is missing, it is just an added bonus.

Aside from the usual gripes of smut being trashy or the things I've discussed in previous posts, I also think it's a bit of a shame that it's been cited as a distraction or that regardless of the actual genre it comes off as filler.  While it's often seen as perfectly fine to drone on about cities and landscapes, in a way that often prevents the reader from filling in the blanks on their own, it's a whole other thing with sexual situations.  I currently write epic fantasy first and anything else is what I consider a secondary bonus.  I like to defend that it's just my preferred kind of filter.  There are often just moments where, in lieu of tedious descriptions, I think that the raw interactions between people are far more an exercise in character building.  This isn't always in the form of sex.  I don't write for hours and days just to lead them to the perfect place to fuck.  I mean, it's not unheard of and I wouldn't negatively judge someone for it, but in my case, I also get my lady-boners from building lush worlds and places and creating danger and suspense.  It just so happens that some of the rawest character traits are going to come from how people treat others when no one else is around.  It may seem like some attempt at rationalizing smut, but there's more than a visceral reason for why it is done, even though the visceral can be just as fun.  Like I've said before, I've written or edited sexual scenes that I either wasn't in the mood for or found personally disturbing. The best friend I mentioned before had written a disturbing scene involved blackmail and incest and I found it completely mesmerizing.  It wasn't because I have any love for either, it's because it was done with such calculation and suspense that I couldn't help but see the genius of it.  Sometimes authors hide some neat little tidbits in those dirty little places and wonder if someone is willing or able to dig them out.  Don't be so quick to shut it all down because you've been burned by those gimmicks.

That being said, I am in a wonderful group on FaceBook called Fantasy Faction.  Other than smut, the most controversial topic to follow is often finding that perfect book.  I'll repeat what I said on there: "Why on earth would you want a guarantee on a book?  Discovery and going in blind is part of the magic. Even if a book is hilariously bad, I might still finish it.  But guarantees and warnings? Pbbbbbbt. Get out."  There's quite a bit of dissent on authors choosing a genre that they don't believe fits the mold and I find it odd that there are quite a bit of people that worry about wasting their time when there are 'so many good books out there.'  Look, you will never, ever finish your TBR (to-be-read) list.  You will keep adding to it regardless. It will grow longer than the natural years you have on this earth if it isn't already.  It will compete with your curiosity about social media, texts from your friends and relatives, magazines at the check-out line, and so on.  You will read utter trash and discover hidden treasure.  Take a risk and buy the bad mystery books.  Regift it and tell them to do the same if they don't like it.  Let books find new homes and be someone else's sentimental find.  Don't discount the experience of leaving your comfort zone.

Read the smut.  Even I have been surprised about what some people come up with.  It's come a long way from being utterly trashy.  Hell, even utterly trashy can be a hell of a good read.  You don't have to be aroused.  Sometimes it's good for a laugh or a therapeutic eye roll or a nice shiver of revulsion.  I still believe that a reaction is the best part of the experience.

And may I reiterate that I do have plenty planned with zero smut.  It is also a lot of fun.  I don't purposely inject it where it doesn't fit.  Oh, dear gawd, what have I done...

EDIT: I'd like to add that my bit on how men and women experience sexual interest is a very generalized discussion based on women I've actually talked to and my own experience and intended to shed some light on the marketed targets for that kind of literature.  I'm not claiming to have incorporated studies or assume all people are sexual automatons that function the same way.  There are factors including preference that can change considerably-- preference, meaning physical limitations, sexual positions and motivations including mutual pleasure and power dynamics (who's on top, and so forth).  Because of how massively unique preference can be, I omitted quite a bit of what made me consider my words for this post.  I don't presume to know why most women agreed with me in discussion, but we also disagreed on things like penetration or stimulation of erogenous zones enough that it's moot for general discussion.  The simple fact is that it has become a market that targets women because women are the prevalent consumer, not because we're savvy to some biological secret that excludes men.  Someone in my position, who has often been told my hobbies are for boys or old ladies when I'm neither, would never seek to practice anything with the intent to exclude.

There is room for everyone in every genre and, while we often seek to find our audience, our own findings often come to generalizations.  I'm still writing books for me.  Not for genders or diversity or agendas.  It's still entertainment and a shitload of hard work.  This is just me getting the hang of marketing.