Everything Has a Reason

Most authors aren't going to admit what I'm about to tell you.  No, that isn't click bait, but it does sounds catchy.  Oh, gawd, no more fish puns... But now that you're hooked...

(Or bailed on me... Pbbbttttt...)

I know exactly how cheesy some of my first books can get.  Wtf, Krista, that doesn't sound very confident.  Now no one's gonna read them.  Relax, there is a reason I kept some of that cheese intact.  When I started these books, I was in my early twenties.  They were much cringier back then and I debated for years on rewriting them.  Something else happened.  I started to embrace the cringe.

The dialogue can feel old and awkward and it's a big no-no describing your characters in a big list.  As much as you hear that this is something "inexperienced" writers do, I kind of got tired of the do and don't bullshit.  It's supposed to be some signal that you're unaware or inexperienced when you break these stupid rules that jaded snobs wave like flags of stunted superiority.  We hate adverbs, we hate clunky, we hate smut, we hate flowery prose.  If you followed every maddening rule, you'd end up with a page full of 1st grade grammar book.  She found a sword.  He rode a horse. This book is not fun.  The writer has no voice.

Even the literary snobs will admit, well, EXCEPT for how THIS writer broke the rule, then it's okay.  When you start peeling through the layers, all it ends up coming down to is: is the story interesting?

Some people bitch that you're holding their hands or insulting them by directly relating a character's feeling and you change it.  The next person complains that you are now being too vague and boring.

All people are impossible to please.  Write for yourself.

I'm not saying don't challenge yourself.  Sometimes you have to limit yourself to see what you can do. But an exercise does not always make for good reading.  My friend Liz wrote a beautiful description of the most boring buildings in the world (those prefab rectangle skyscrapers) that lasted a whole page.  It was an excellent display of writing, horrible in a story.

So where does this fit with my reason?  I found my clunky awkward beginnings charming.  Even under my coldest criticism when I cringed hardest, there was something honest about my depiction of these late teen/early twenties characters because I wrote them being that same age at it WAS a time I thought I was tough and sophisticated, but was clunky and awkward.

I didn't start publishing them under the delusion they were a guaranteed best seller.  I published them because they're entertaining.  They aren't bad by any means, but they aren't trying to be what they're not.  They're by a geek girl and probably FOR geek girls.

I do have books I'm doing where I intend to steer into other markets and audiences.  Look at Stephen King for a minute.  I admire some of his great works (nothing will top Dark Tower) but there's also a great deal in his catalog that was absolute shit.  No offense, but I admire the hell out of that because even though he did try to coast on some formulaic bullshit, he wasn't afraid to try new things.  He's an ecclectic writer and one that embraced all of the highs and lows.  I might be a tough critic of his, but it also comes from being a total fan.

When it came down to what I liked most about my favorite authors, it wasn't just their talent or even their stories.  They stuck to their guns and when they wrote honestly, it showed.  

So yes, I do know what I wrote and I know the flaws.  I also know I broke some snobbish rules, thanks.  If you think any of these books define everything I am, you're in for an awakening.  

That being said, I'm really excited about the series I'm working on beside my first series as well.  This one is a whole other beast, full of new challenges and a new set of broken rules. Sorry, literature, but language belongs to everyone and if it's effective then shove the rules.

Anyways, I'm about to NaNoWriMo the crap out of the first planned book and I'll be announcing the first title alongside the release of the third book of the Heroes Trilogy.  I hope I continue to give a big middle finger to the naysayers and inspire new writers to believe in themselves.  

Be a publishing plebian like me.  Like my teachers always said, no one will know your value until you can put a price on your work.  The perfect book never happens.  If you can read your book as many times as I have and still love it, it's time to let it out into the world.  It's not a finite market.  You're not 'clogging the market from the discovery of GOOD writers with your CRAP.'  Crap has always flooded entertainment.  Because someone out there, maybe a lot of someones, thought otherwise.

And yeah, there are those sad American Idol contestants that think they're God's gift to music that can't carry tune.  If you know anything about me, I'm not delusional about my level of talent or potential.  I've been told by people who have absolutely no reason to invest in me or my feelings that I have 'something.'. That something is always a little different but it's always directed at the creative.

I have no desire to deceive nor beg people to like me or my work.  Don't like it?  To the left.  Love it?  Come on in!  You can change your mind either way at any time, but it would be stupid to cling to the negative when I have so much more to give.

Before this comes off as a defensive rant (and it kinda sorta is but not really), I want to say I've been low on self-doubt and high on ideas.  If you're an avid self-editor/masochist, then edit both when you're feeling most confident and least confident.  I know it sounds crazy to torment yourself that way, but you can't approach editing if you're the exact same person every time.  If you still like it when you suck at life, it's a good sign it's not total crap.  If you never doubt it, it probably sucks hard though.  Not a rule, so feel free to prove me wrong! ;)