The Golden Days: Why the Age of Information Sucks

Why yes, I do realize I sound exactly like someone's grandma with a post heading like that, but here's the thing-- times have changed.

When the internet became a thing, our eyes were bright and shiny with the promise of all of the information and worlds that would open to us, the potential to reach more people, make our lives more interesting, learn new languages, immerse ourselves in culture.  Yet, what do the majority of people use it for now?  Social media.  Not to say that's a bad thing since it is so valuable for a reclusive artist like myself to be able to reach people.  At the onset, we had this nifty little thing called 'netiquette' that kept us all from being over-opinionated blowhards holding our 'The End is Near' signs in every passing face.

Like most things, we completely ruined it.  All of us.  Okay, that's a bit of an overstatement, some of us continue to make it suck sometimes.  It weakens the point a bit, but it's more accurate.  I can tell you what happened over the past few days even though I made it a point only to zoom by these posts on my feed.  Biggest mass shooting in history in Las Vegas, WHITE MAN, Tom Petty died, not really, but then he actually did, Trump said some more stupid shit, people decide what some football player is protesting for and black people must all hate America because they peacefully protest at the wrong times.  Does any of that piss you off?  There was a time when only some of that would and it would have taken you weeks to gather that info-- from Rolling Stone magazine or a newscast or your neighbor's cousin because they talk really loud and your window was open.  You would actually have to go out and talk to people or buy things and it came in small packages that weren't spun out of instant reactions to an overload of biased bullshit.

You, personally, probably fed the fire or still do because why not?  They're entitled to their opinion and so are you.  Did you feel better?  Probably not, unless you got a lot of Likes and everyone agreed with you.  Maybe you even had someone disagree with you reasonably and even when you ended it with yet another 'let's agree to disagree,' was it worth it?  Maybe so.

Still, it wore you out and all you did was sit at a keyboard and change zero people's minds.  You do that enough times and that proverbial straw breaks the camel's back so, what?  You announce that you're going on a hiatus from social media or swirl around like a shit tornado and tell people if they think a certain way, just delete you.

One day, I started looking back at my wall, at mouthy little rebel Krista and she wasn't unique anymore.  She sounded bitter and pathetic and she wasted a lot of time caring about shit she probably shouldn't have spoken up about.  It's not that we should all stay silent, but I started to see how very ineffectual it all was. If you're discouraged because you think nobody gives a crap, you are right.  And so very wrong.  You see, many people care about the same issues that you do, only 50 more of their friends are bitching about the same exact thing.  People are taking the irrational yet logically presented rants of longtime family and friends and burning all the bridges over it when they used to just grumble behind each other's backs at Thanksgiving dinners (which is now also becoming un-PC because let's also get offended about holidays we never celebrated in context anyway--  unless you ARE religious, most holidays were already just 'get drunk and pig out' days).

We are not becoming more conscious. We are becoming less tolerant and more offended.  It doesn't make us right or wrong, but it's absolutely making us a hot mess.  So yes, I stopped bothering with my main feed.  A hard thing to do because some of my friends are still the nostalgic sort that want to share what their families are doing, adorable animal videos and the kitschy crap that used to make social media worth rolling our eyes over.  I hop over on occasion to say 'hey, if there's anyone left in post-apocalyptic FaceBook, I am really excited to share my work!'  And it's a shame that I can't donate to all 50 places all hit by natural disasters and I'm never inclined to share which charities I do give to besides.  I do want to know how I can actually help fellow human beings and without being told I chose wrong.  Instead, I stick to my book, crochet, and doll groups because I haven't the capacity to spend all my time as a puddle of empathy.  You may already know this, but I'm not that empathetic unless I know you personally.  Nothing personal...

Are we better people if we make ourselves miserable trying to care about everything or all the 'right' things?  I think you know the answer.  

Yours truly was a total asshole (and I love you if you want to say I've always been sweet, but I wasn't myself and I wasn't sweet).  I wasn't that productive when I was doing all the right things.  I went to work, came home miserable, ordered a bunch of shit I didn't need on Amazon to feel better about feeling shitty, was too lazy to do a damn thing other than get worked up on social media.  Ffs, I had a lot to give and here I was, fucking it all up and pretending it was making me socially acceptable.  Since I hung that out to dry, I went to college. Started making incredible friends on the friendlier parts of social media, and holed up to focus on the shit I was good at and forgot how to enjoy for so long before that.  I stopped sniping at the kids in frustration, starting getting along with my parents more.  Learned to do advanced crochet, started collecting dolls that I hadn't outgrown as much as I thought, started listening to disgustingly saccharine pop music and picked up a drawing pen (incredible quality-- how was it not dry from neglect?).  I started working out and stopped snapping at people because I wasn't sacrificing for the 'greater good' anymore.  I had more to give as my time filled with things that meant something to me.  It was fucking terrifying, giving up steady work and dedicating my time to raise my nephews and bust my ass being an artist again.  I would take the terror over the tedium any day.

I don't consider the lessons or time that passed in misery a waste.  I think we all need to learn some things the hard way.  And yes, the age of information sucks.  Sometimes.  But it also keeps me connected to wonderful people, lets me share my work, makes research and curiosity instantaneous, and gives all of us a chance to start over.  I might cringe at that tidal wave of mood swings from the past, but I know how to focus through the paranoia and angst and find those valuable things that I can use to truly give something this world needs.  I don't have the cure for cancer or a universal reform that will solve the economic problems.  I have a drawing pen, some ideas, and an unfailing resolve to be the kind of person the world needs most.  And you?  Be your best self always.