The Key to Your Heart: Make Friends, not Fans

Yeah, friends can be your biggest fans too.  Sometimes the brutally honest, sometimes the ones that unfailingly tell you to never give up and only have good things to say.  I like them all for their different approaches.

I adore my friends and I try to make it a point to say something to each of them individually for any level of support that they give.  This is probably next to impossible for those best sellers, but I tell you there is nothing quite like trying to keep up with all of the people who support you.

Some of the people that have been there are family.  My dad really didn't know what I was about for years, but when he saw what my talents did for me and others, he was one of my first 'fans' and I'm certainly his #1 fan.  Above all things, he is the reason I am able to focus on fulfilling work now.  He's still the unfailingly practical one, the hard worker that might complain but loves his work.  We don't always see eye to eye, but there's a lot of respect and love there.  He's been the one to buy himself a print copy and one for me too.  My family is an odd bunch, but whenever I see them, they ALWAYS ask me how my art is going, ready to offer suggestions and encouragement.  We might be stuck together even when we drive each other crazy, but it always comes back to a place of support.

Now friends...  This is where it gets pretty diverse.  I have the ones I originally met through FaceBook, friends like Debbie, Erika, Phil, Rob, Amber, Stephanie, Brad, Fermin (with the fancy i that I'm not remembering which option key combo works; may he rest in peace-- I miss him).  I know some of them offline now and they've been part of my 'chosen ones,' those friends that you are so lucky to have met through social media, so you can never bring yourself to hate social media.  Then there's the longtime crew, the friends I met in high school-- Liz, Em/Ev, Joe.  These are the ones I talk to most days of the week and have both rocky pasts with and priceless conversations with.  There are more friends from school I keep on social media too, some that were co-workers at one time too.  Landon is still my favorite face of Kroger and he's doing a tremendous job with his creative pursuits too.

Oy, really, could absolutely go through my friends list and probably list a hundred more.  And these are people I have sent personal messages to, not just bumped into each other on feeds.  Not only for my creative work, people who have just sent me personal encouragement in crazy life situations.  You know who you are and I've not forgotten you.  

Some friends kind of boost you up in a lot of places.  I wouldn't dare forget about Matt, who I did my first official book cover work for.  He's not only a talented writer and blogger, but also an old friend from school.  I've mentioned him before so I won't neglect him now.

I'm bringing up Debbie here, who inspired this post to begin with.  She sent me this heart-warming gift today and I'm reeling from the unexpected high...

A USB Drive I can use to keep my books close to my heart at all times.  I really can't thank her enough for this.

It's hard to write a group post like this and not feel like I'm leaving anyone out.  Because I collect all of it and it fuels me.  I probably Poke you on FaceBook sometimes while I'm thinking of something you said or did.  Nothing I do is done without thought.

Okay, if you hung around past my gushing, here's the part where I bring in the point.  You can write a bestseller by catering to markets. You can collect a ton of fans that way and I'm sure it feels great. No one would turn that down.  Still, the most fulfilling relationships always come from being considered, not just as an artist, but as a person.  When people take time out of their day to really dig in and do something nice for you, even just saying hello, or that they really love what you do.  I know fans can do that... but I'd rather think of them as friends.  The amazing authors I've had the chance to talk with, the voracious readers, the encouragement-- it's all really building the artist up as a better person.

Once you take the risk and put yourself out there, they will tell you that you are a brand.  They aren't wrong, but there's more to it than reputation and sales.  People will want to connect to you as a person.  The phenomenon of someone being starstruck even is often just people observing their popularity and the rarity of the time with that person, having that one opportunity to gush and connect.  

Superfans can come with the super trolls too, so it's always best to appreciate your present place in your journey.  I probably have a couple best sellers in my arsenal, but I'm not writing them to be that way. They're all gonna FEEL like bestsellers, after all. I'm latching onto something earnest here, something that is catching on with people I care about.  I'm connecting through my work and there isn't really something 'better.'  'Bigger' perhaps, but it's something I intend to keep humble.  Work to make your life better for the ones you love, but why not reach out and see how it can expand you?  Always be grateful to your friends.  No matter how big you get, they're the ones that take room in your heart.