Have you ever decided to change the error of your ways as representative of whatever race, gender, non-choice consequence of birth, due to the insane assaults of social justice warriors? Oh, you have? Congratulations and fuck you, because that person doesn't exist.
I understand there is always a need for sensitivity in matters that you don't understand. We should all acknowledge that everyone has a unique struggle, if this were a perfect world. But in this shitstorm, we have people touting the value of individuality while shoving complete strangers in neat little boxes.
Hell, I used to find comfort with labels. My many confused attempts to define my sexuality, my gender, my questionable ethnic make-up (one of these days, Ancestry.com, we're going to have a long talk)... However, people now use those labels to define you for themselves. Back the truck up, people, because that's not how personal labels were EVER supposed to work. I can no longer use the word 'feminist'. Once upon a time, that word opened a conversation where people might ask me what it means to me-- I would say it's about empowering myself not to conform to gender roles that still barely exist in the largely ignored cellars of western society. It means I don't flail at the injustice of prejudice or setbacks. I make myself impossible to ignore, using every damn outlet I can headbutt my way into. I don't start hashtags and bully anyone out of the discussion even when they steer a little off-topic. Yeah, it's annoying when we get that chip in our shoulder where we might say "well, what about this?" There is no crime in threading off topic. No one is entitled to join your vent session and kiss your ass. You are not being silenced by letting someone have a voice.
I see it without ever trying to. You'll get the one guy that takes a poor little victim story and actually shatters the argument with the fact, usually the duplicity or bias from the supposed victim. I love that guy. He is not saying that the invalidation of said article means no woman experiences harassment, but you would think that's what he's doing. I'll take his back when the rabid ones start to bully him. He doesn't need me to, but I think society also needs to stop spinning every fact checker as the villain.
Which brings this up-- I have never been 'one of the boys.' I've never been out to prove I'm a man or 'as good as one'. My body is biologically female and I have never tried to fulfill female roles either. I like to customized dolls and crochet, but I love dirty jokes and video games. For the record, assignments or no, none of those things are gender exclusive. There are plenty of men in the craft game, plenty of women in the sword-swinging, rage-quitting game. No one ever needed to tell me that. Believe me, plenty of people tried to pull the lady card on me and I've tossed it back and told them to keep the change. I am not interested in competing with women or impressing men with how cool I am. I'm a fucking geek and primping is too much work. I have zero interest in gender politics because I embrace the tendencies and decisions regardless of biological inclination. If you're a slave to society or just want to whine that you're not socially acceptable but should be, you're a pain in the ass and change starts within. Join a cult-- they'll love you.
Not all social justice is this tainted, mind you, at least not completely. I ran into problems with how women authors are marketed as opposed to their male counterparts and it does SEEM as if women are often signed on as a statistical requirement and then thrown under the bus. Take these for example if you missed my former post:
- women are often openly encouraged to use initials in male-dominated genres (and I'm also aware that men do the same in the crime fiction genre that demands female writers-- they don't cancel each other out, weirdos...)
- covers by female authors are often resembling the covers of romance novels. In the fantasy genre, if a woman writes sex, they want to peg it as romance/erotica. A man is never thrown under this bus. This genre fuckery can kill its selling potential because epic/high fantasy is NOT romance. It's a niche that some publishers do market, but it's a graveyard planting nerd lore in the general romance section.
- last but not least, women are sometimes the problem. I can't say on a case by case, but women are supposedly statistically less likely to protest creative decisions or salary shortage, to allow decisions against their best interests because they short-change their own worth.
I know I'm risking a shitstorm with that one, but I've seen and even been one of those women that doesn't look the fucking gift horse in the mouth. You have to be your OWN advocate. There is a good reason I don't speak for other people. For one, I don't know your position and two, you didn't ask me to. I will not hesitate to speak up for someone if they want to use my voice, but I don't assume every creature on this earth without a dick needs me to rescue them. It's infantilizing.
So when I see these campaigns where people have the audacity to say that a man asking them to smile because it's pretty is sexual harassment and a call for social reform, I shut down. I'm not raising my voice. I'm not going to try to drown out that noise because when the cacophony dies down, I'm going to clear my throat, speak softly and use sense.
I absolutely hate the divides people are creating with words. I have always used words to tackle my own frustrations, my fictions to reach people, and I will not waste my words by yammering about these pseudo-problems. Assholes do not have a race, gender, religion or shoe size. They exist everywhere and just like criminals don't follow laws, assholes are not the ones punished by social reform. You're spinning strong people as victims and making victims afraid to call themselves strong. How? Because when a victim tries to call you on your shit and disagree, they are suddenly not victim enough to cower to your narrative.
Real talk, men were never 'my problem'. I have been sexually harassed and assaulted by females too, folks. It was never a gendered problem. A male friend of mine confided that with today's sexual revolution, women are under the impression that they can touch a man however they want and they are just as likely to talk about a man's body in a way that would get a man's ass beat if he dared to say that to a woman. Social reform isn't the answer, people. We need to stop with the assumptions. Pick your battles. People are watering down the power of words by getting offended, injecting insidious intent in every innocent comment.
Yes, I do look pretty when I smile. No, you don't have to be attractive for me to be flattered instead of creeped out. On some days, you can probably even say 'wow, look at the breasts on this cunt' and I might not care. I've got a twisted sense of humor and sometimes I can admit that your frustration does not always warrant me wasting my time being offended.
I'm not going to justify these hypocritical movements of victim unity though. I'm not going to wave some weird survivor flag either. I don't need a trophy for overcoming adversity because the revelation was its own reward. Just like when I finish a book. Yeah, it's disappointing when they don't sell, but I keep writing. The journey and the accomplishment speaks for itself. I don't want a pity prize for participating in all the fucked-up and beautiful twists in life. I don't need karma or retribution or reward, tit for tat, promises on life. Expectations are the source of your misery, people. Next time something doesn't go your way, try asking yourself 'what did you expect?'
Don't feed the trolls.
Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200.
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