Everyone's a Critic

So I began a new process this week in my quest for being a published author with zero budget-- the art of beggaring reviewers to critique my work.  You can find compilations of lists online sorting reviewers by genre (a list I'm happy to share for anyone interested).  Spent an entire day sorting through one such list, just going by genre and availability.  There are all sorts of caveats, and rightly so, since it can be difficult to make the waiting list for a freely offered service, especially when all you have to give is a free review copy.  Some will strictly list genres they prefer, some will annoyingly put All Genres (and then tell you you've wasted your effort).

Some insist you fill out a contact form on their site to ask first, some want you to go ahead and attach a copy.  These are the ones that I whiled away most of my time on since it's not a uniform list.  I was happier for the ones that were just an email, a request that you send a copy, no guarantee for a review.

Now, one thing I like to get is critical feedback, you know this.  However, one such reviewer, instead of just denying the application silently, felt entitled to send a message that very briefly informed me they read whatever sample floats on merchant pages and just sent 'your writing is clunky and too telling.  Your book won't be a good fit for me.'  Not only is that an incredibly ambiguous assessment, it was wholly unnecessary.  It only gave me the impression that this person valued their tastes as expertise and feels it necessary to impress themselves upon someone who is making an earnest effort.  I hope to fill the market with such clunky and telling books in the future regardless.  What I could appreciate here is that I'm glad this person jumped ship early and spared me whatever purple prose of a negative review they intended to feel entitled to.  It may be their time I ask for, but let's not forget, my risk and time was certainly not small either.

Another email I got back simply said they'd review it within seven days.  Cool.  I can appreciate hearing back when it's productive.  Most reviewers posted that they wouldn't notify you either if they decide to read it or if they post it.  I only picked reviewers that said they'd give honest feedback and again, most said they still wouldn't give less than 3 Stars on their system because 2 stars is akin to being nearly unreadable and 1 Star means they absolutely couldn't finish it.  As an artist, I'm no stranger to rejection letters, but if I'm going to hear back, I'd rather it be productive or not at all.  I'm just not fond of what amounts to spam and degradation in some pseudo-official capacity.  Stay out of my lane, girl...

Most artists grow a rather thick skin to criticism, but it does exact a toll.  You often see those reports in the news of the 'perfectly happy artist showing no signs of what led to their overdose or demise.'  Don't read too much into this; with all the grief I've been through lately, I'm still determined and not at all complacent towards the reality of the ups and down.  Still, I get it.  When you put yourself out there as a professional, part of your brand is likability.  Letting people see you moping with your doubts can hurt your marketability.  It's not to say you aren't experiencing real happiness, gratefulness, success.  There is just always that undercurrent of anxiety when you are constantly banking on the instability of trends, personality, and taste.  Your fans can turn on you at any minute, your sales could drop, your smile can slip.

First and foremost, critics be damned, I started this journey to make friends, not fans.  I didn't obsessively study the market to find what covers sell and I didn't emulate popular authors to write.  I didn't overhaul my art to reflect the trends toward realism.  I simply put a piece of myself out there, knowing the vulnerabilities it would leave me open to.  You might call it brave or reckless or risky, but I felt complete for having done all of this my way and not always working under the mentality of 'I bet people will love this.' Sure, I love to hear it when they do, but I spent years sitting on my talents and ideas and it was time to take the risk.

I want to say that I apologize if you get sick of hearing about my anecdotes and stories, but remember, I'm a reclusive sort of introvert and much of my experience is about self-reflection and internalizing.  I do hope that my experience with this journey brings me out of my shell more, gives me more to share.  It's still so newborn!  Only two months since I published that first book and, wow, the things you learn in so little time.  Also consider that I do not talk about myself in all the endless month and years I spend working on stories and novels.  This might be your only exposure to my writing thus far and whatever I've said about myself is miniscule in comparison to the time I spend developing characters.

On closing, I might understand what that reviewer had been hinting at.  The beginning of my book is very purposely abrupt and, yes, sometimes I absolutely describe a character right out of the gate, especially when it has a profound effect on another character.  I also realized that I may not have published my final edit where I had made some minor corrections to word choice, particularly a couple that I found in the first sample chapter.  I've gotten better about sorting my files since and I will have corrections to make when I release a compilation.  If it's my style she doesn't like, she's out of luck.  I don't fill my pages with flowery prose.  There are some exceptional writers out there that I could only read once because they used too much filler for my tastes, so I nipped that in the bud.

Like I said, everyone's a critic.  Me too.  You just won't ever catch me brushing someone off in less a paragraph.  And like my dear friend said, no matter how good something is, you'll always catch someone trying to find something wrong with it.  

Don't invest more consideration into any criticism than the time spent on making it and you'll be fine.