Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

And Other Shit Rich Cunts Say When They Dissolve Your Trust Fund. But that's a long headline, no?

Here's some back story. I knew something was up when I found out my aunt had talked my grandma into a joint bank account. Mash up assets and all that. What's one of the ways a trust fund can be dissolved? A quick Google search will tell you outstanding medical bills. So, with her entire millions of dollars' fortune (and I know my grandmother's SMALLEST bank account contained $15 million, btw) tied up with my aunt's and no way to distinguish any of it was my grandmother's... VOILA! Dissolved trust approved.

Now, I wasn't slated to received millions. Actually, a modest but life-changing $20K. I could've gotten my teeth fixed, my future convention booths stocked, my equipment upgraded. 

I know; don't cry over spilled milk. But I hope an elephant sits on the bitch and crushes her.

It makes sense now when my mom told me that my grandma in her last moments, delirious and desperate, kept repeating that she was going to Hell. No one in my family is particularly religious, but her father was a preacher, so I can imagine she had some residual beliefs. Yes, grandma, if there is a Hell, you'll probably be there. If souls have any transcendence or punishment, karma isn't looking good for you. But unlike you, my aunt has no guilt. Only pure entitlement to all the money you squandered in your life.

It's simply something worth venting about but all the more motivation to make it big. Let the bitch try to share a spotlight with me in those moments I make a mark and I'll have her ass kicked out.

Because throughout a life of being the dirty family secret, my mom's love child, I've learned to be sweet and caring, but guarded and vigilant. I've learned that family can be the coldest blooded and that friends can be the family that warms your heart.

My aunt dicked us out of a better spot in life. Not in class or any such societal bullshit, just a chance to fix everyday inconveniences and expedite some dreams.

I don't want this to be only a negative post, but I don't often dig very deep, so I'm feeling generous enough to give a torn piece of myself.

However, I've been working on my dolls. New cape, boot soles made of clay and hardening to be cut later, shoulder wedge built to sculpt the shoulder guards. Writing is coming along. Love me or hate me, I'm feeling my groove again. I'm excited to have found a cheap cube organizer set to organize my craft, writing, and creative stuff better so I'm not always digging in the four corners of my room. You'd be impressed by the game of Tetris this girls works in, but I've always been resilient and resourceful.

Securing a better life for my nephews has always been a priority. I've said before; those boys saved my life and renewed my purpose just by being born into this world. There is no way in hell I'm squandering my life when I have them looking up to me to guide them. They're so smart and sweet and talented and bright-eyed, and it fills me with pride that I am responsible for such wonderful human beings. Sure, I can take credit for how they are turning out, but I think we're all born with something that guides the people we become and I could never take all the credit. They have worked hard to be amazing young people too.

Don't sweat the small stuff, they say. What's difficult is sorting the small from the big piles of shit. From sorting out those who love you and those who just love to torment you. In the end, you must find that guide within and reach for what YOU think is most important in life.

And I hope the stuff that moves you doesn't harm anyone else and helps you and those around you grow and change the world for the better. Be the better person... but maybe don't think you are.

Comparisons don't do you much good. Just be better than who you were yesterday and don't worry about where you rank. Let the ones who inspire you lead you up and the ones who detract you fall behind.

Love, peace and chicken grease!