Winter Break? Not Really But Woo Woo!

I did slow down on writing and drawing with the boys home for winter break. Still, I did a little of both. Very little of both, but it was something. Almost have the color bases down and I got over a little hump in my trek through the mysterious deserts of the Melikai province. All is well.

In truth, I don't know what the hell a break is. Every time I try it, I'm lucky if it lasts 24 hours. There is always some siren song in work that makes it difficult to stay away no matter how much I need to. That's not to say it's easy or fun all the time, I just want it. More than anything, I start to taste the day when the words and pictures manifest into something sharable. I want to publish and to realize the next idea. I can't lie and say I don't enjoy a lot of it but it can make 7 AM become 7 PM magically and make the day after a Monday into yet another Monday before I realize what day it is again. I tend to do all other things on autopilot-- getting the boys from school, even socializing can have me fading off mid-sentence as those unfinished projects have their 'eureka' moments.

So I'm managing to do something I haven't been able to do for most of 2017-- spending gobs of time with my nephews.  They're home all day, it's colder than reverse hell and there's very little I can do without a bit of crankiness from their cabin fever or their enthusiasm to spend time with me. I can't and don't want to turn it down. They're busy growing and forming their minds most of the year just like I am and we all need to touch base.

So even though I've done all of maybe 2K words in the past week and I still haven't gotten around to getting past the coloring book stages of my illustrations, it's still been quality time. We play games together, of the board and electronic varieties. We enjoy each other's quick-witted and sometimes corny/lazy humor. When I do get to sate all this built-up creative energy, I'll welcome it with open arms.  For now, it's enough to jot a few things down in between and get back to getting to know each other again.

I'm an introvert. I don't have this insatiable need to entertain or have company. However, I am a firm believer that quality time is about unplugging. I don't take a ton of pictures and videos (no offense to my camera-loving friends here-- I see the appeal of capturing it all, but for me, it takes me out of the moment and stifles my observational skills. All the megapixels in the world don't beat my panoramic view or unhindered eyesight). When I spend time with you or anyone, I like to be 100% present and I promise even if my mind wanders, I send it back on track.

So my blogs are fewer these days, but I'm keeping that promise to unplug here and there...

What else? Well, consider this post as some subtle advice. Don't beat yourself up for not being a constant overachiever in your work. Fall behind sometimes to get ahead somewhere else. I never consider any piece of my life a waste. I always labor to reprioritize where needed. I'm not a creature of guilt and regret and no one should be. I often have people tell me they wish they could put forth as much effort as I do. I'm sure it seems glorious in many ways because I can get pretty impassioned talking about it. All the same, I wonder if I should be taking my cue from your lives sometimes too. Everything done too much can be habit-forming and it's much easier to fall back into bad habits than keeping up with good ones. Often your lives do not have the same advantages and disadvantages as someone else's. There is plenty else in life competing for your dreams and sometimes you have a precious couple of hours to work with and it's far better served taking a nap or watching a movie. The number one cause of burn-out for me is not sleeping. The only people who rival me in fighting sleep are toddlers. Even when I know it will make me more productive, sometimes it just ain't happening. I'll end up taking twice the time redoing my sleep-fuddled mistakes.

The harsh reality of creativity is this: no matter how hard I work, no one owes me the precious handling of my motivation. There will be trolls and critics and douchebags who would delight in seeing an artist cave under criticism, to see me give up when the frustration hits me. Good luck. Even if I lost the courage to publish for a while, I do get it back. Sometimes your moods and feedback leave you too vulnerable. Unplug. Step away. Come back when you build a backbone for it. As supportive as I want to be for other writers, nothing will make me ignore you more than a whining binge about how nobody likes you. And? I don't know about you, but nothing gives me more freedom to write than being ignored. Nothing gives me more will to be heard than being shut down. Hug boxes are shit to me. They are insincere and useless for growth. As much as I love fans, I need adversity. I need people to not be afraid to point out my errors (or if my final published MS... turns out to be an early unedited draft. Oops... Keep the collector's edition that you own and laugh at my mistakes).

I do keep this blog to air out some grievances, but I will never ask anyone to pity or console me. If you really want to irritate me, do one of those two things. Pitying someone, no matter how good the intention, is patronizing. You saint, me helpless peasant. No thanks. It shows that you think I am weak to my situation not just struggling to arrive at the solution. Consolation? Again, good intentions and often without action. I know I will get through this. Listen or make me laugh-- those are good enough. I don't need grand gestures or trite placations. It will make both of us awkward. Unless there's pizza involved. That does tend to heal all wounds.

Just don't use pizza to actually bandage wounds. Unless you're trying to make me laugh. I won't stifle your creativity on this one.

Time Travel, Maybe

It's been more than a week since my last blog post, but rather than being swallowed by writing binges, I've been doing my best to try and color base the sketches for my third book, The Truth about Heroes: Menage a Trois. It's a deceptively sexy title considering that this is probably one of the least sexy books in the series. I do have more provocative sketches regardless.

As for the count, I have ten full size sketches to base, the twelve partial inserts and the panorama that I hope to get set up in the next three days. Once I do that, I'd love to juggle it with writing more of UnSung. I'm struggling a bit with Part One, to be honest. I know what I want from Part Two but it's a little tricky figuring out how to get the players in position. I only had four definite continuing characters from the first book, but who else would help move this one? I felt a little blind, but I've built on it a bit. I think I'm due for a long walk to try to hash that out better.

So a bit of time traveling happened. Blinked and I'm a week in the future.

Before I disappear into my work again, I'd like to point out something really interesting in the difference between reader and writer groups. Readers are pretty unanimous on wanting to visualize the characters for themselves. Writers in the groups I'm in are almost constantly telling and showing you what they think their characters should look like. I'm going to have to agree with the readers, even as a writer. I do love to visualize the characters and even draw them. It's been the theme of my vanity project after all. However, I've also found more joy in not laboring to NEED a visualization for depth of character. In fact, I found that ditching all but necessary details has been liberating for the growth of a character.

Plus there's an annoying amount of humble bragging becoming popular. I might criticize what I would like to do differently, but I will make it clear that I am damn proud of my work. I'm not going to solicit people for compliments by pretending it's not that good. No one shares something they think is complete garbage. If someone is going to post their work, I won't bother commenting if the language is wishy-washy. Although coming right out to say you want people to make you feel better is pretty pathetic too. I think we all have conditions for a response-- mine is pretty simple. Say what you like, say what you don't like, invite people to critique or comment on their tastes.

I've also started avoiding the 'I put on my pants today' crowd that wants congratulations for every mundane step they take. They are so frequently treating their groups like personal blogs that I skip reading their 'I wrote words, I posted pictures I took on a walk' posts simply because of the sheer frequency. Once, maybe twice a day for a main post is pushing it, but some of these people go for the gusto in their need for constant validation with half a dozen or more trite posts you can find in any WikiHow self-help page. It's hard to maintain the discipline when you want to share, believe me I know, but you're more likely to be silently unfollowed than make fans/friends. I also know because I'm likely to unfollow that sort. People are far more encouraged by results.

I'm not saying by any measure of 'success'. I have received a lot of kind words about my writing style and insight, my unique drawing style, my immensely positive outlook. My success is pretty humble, but it doesn't dictate my reason for doing it. I doubt I could possibly be more motivated than I am now for sheer love of what I'm doing.

Yes, I know, I get a little snippy and annoyed, but only because I cringe at mistakes I've made. Really, no one could have told me differently but I'm admittedly a curmudgeon sometimes when I see those things I didn't like about myself. So of course, I typically ignore those posts but enjoy a bit of venting on it. Really, social media is very rare on the warm fuzzy moments. Emailing or messaging my close knit friends or talking to them in person beats all. I do remember a time where I thought if not for social media, I'd be completely disconnected. Can't be further from the truth. I do disconnect because, hell, I'm a busy chick. I draw, I write, I plan big and work hard. I can be isolated for months if no one reaches through and wants to hang out. 

Because I'm a time traveler. Months can pass before I realize where time has gone. I don't regret it, but believe me, I love when people reach through the haze and want to bail me out for a bit. I'm not likely to reach out to anyone but I'll drop some time for a valuable friend.

I'll leave you with that. More to do! I have a body of work to create...

Winter Plans are Changing

It's been a bit difficult for me to physically function with the cold weather kicking in.  I have been able to do some writing, editing and drafting but illustrating has gone down to a trickle.  Because of that, I regret to say that I am postponing the third book of the Heroes Trilogy so that I can release them with quality illustrations. If I attempt to make the end of January release, I'll be rushing them at this point. I do still hope for an early quarter release in 2018 (and the omnibus/box sets shortly after) but quality is always going to be important than a deadline.

That being said, I hit the 20K mark on Book 2 (UnSung) of the UnQuadrilogy (I know it needs a new name, but that tickles me). I'm hoping to exceed my usual 100K limit and aim for 120K. For all I want this book to accomplish, that shouldn't be a stretch. Again, I'm aiming for the three-part format and the end will feature another epilogue leading into the third book.  I like the little teasers at the end letting the reader decide if it will be worth continuing for them.

Welp, I have a few things to update this morning.  Patreon needs updates, transferring from Pronoun to Smashwords and KDP for ebook distribution, nap... Oh boy, do I need a nap... I'll slip some writing in tonight, but my muscles are so not cooperating in this cold...

The Good, The Great, The Rest

I don't think anyone that enjoys doing something ever wants to wander down the dark road of whether they are actually good at it. In art school (and I'll willingly admit I went to one of those school where there was no admission test), it was never more apparent that some people just weren't up to muster. Even though anyone could get in, the class list dwindled rather noticeably over the years-- so much so that I felt like I was playing the Nintendo classic Friday the 13th, watching that survivor count drop into the single digits.

This generation will never know the horror that these graphics once caused.

I started with about 50 new students. My virtual graduation consisted of 4. Now I know that a lot of things could account for graduation not synchronizing.  Classes that were failed and had to be retaken (ffs, you have to pay to retake so failing was too rich for my blood), frequency of classes by semester. I had opted to take 2 or 3 classes per semester rather than the minimum of 1. It was usually two academic requirements or 1 academic requirement and 1 demanding art concentration. Never 2 art intensive classes unless I approved of the workload. Nevertheless, I watched my fellow Dean's/President's listers, always looked at the roster for familiar names and I would notice that people tapered off over time, falling off of all lists with regretful finality.

I hate to say it, but sometimes I could see why. Some of these hopeful artists should have been informed of their chances to actually make it in their chosen field.  Private schools really don't give a shit though, they just see dollar signs. During class projects where we would have to draw concepts for digital work? They were subpar even for six year olds let alone adults. I'm being unfair because it wasn't the skill level of their art that tanked them-- it was the failure to communicate their ideas that made them unpassable. You can be plenty creative, but your chosen outlet has to make sense. You are an interpreter in that medium so you must chose that aptitude wisely.

Most people can improve with practice, but practically, you need more than passion to compete. Plenty of artists end up not publishing because of that fear that they are blindsided to any lack of skill for it but can still enjoy it. There are also those delusional ones that have ego far exceeding their talent and through some miracle of mediocrity, even manage to become filthy rich for sucking at any actual skill in that area.

So it's confusing. What makes something good or great is hard to pinpoint or gauge when things that suck can clearly enjoy success as well.

I like to take quotes and put my own addendum to their truth in my experience...

 

My last post was about putting aside doubts because all of us have them. It's a sad truth that in a market overrun with mediocrity, there are also just as many people who don't know they have something great and never taken the plunge. People like me have no clue which side of the line they fall on. I will gladly admit that my first book needs a little TLC, but at the same time, I know it's a solid piece of storytelling even with the novice beginning I put to it over a decade ago. Why did I not rewrite it if I had my doubts? I spent a decade on it, so why wouldn't I want it to be the best?

At some point, we have to decide whether something is ready to go out into the world or if we should just scrap it because it's far too imperfect to represent our egos. In my case, it was time to release it for all its flaws and move on.  It's not for fear of wasting it into obscurity.  Whether or not it's to the market's taste, I gave zero fucks. It's not because it's nine books of wasted time. It's because I read the thing time and time again and despite any doubts telling me it wasn't ready... I read the damn things multiple times. 

I don't know about you, but my favorite stories by other authors rarely get read more than three times. I read my stories more times than I could count, sometimes critically hating them, other times unable to get that I actually wrote that amazing shit. Somewhere in the middle was the truth of it. I'm not terrible! I tell stories that I want to revisit and I had to share.

I'm not worried about tainting my 'brand'. Maybe at first I worried over that far more than I should have. If you read one thing I've done and hated it, it's not an indication that you should avoid all I do. I'm not going to keep milking one idea or concept unless I attain a fanbase that demands work that I've done and loved. Look at the top prolific authors, the consistent best sellers and their body of work. The most successful were also plenty adventurous, writing just as many hated stories for all of the beloved entries. Most of them aren't one-trick ponies. They're as curious as they are eclectic. 

Most of us observe and think that we have to pound out market-pleasers to establish the privilege of writing whatever we want, but please see the folly of that thinking. Your niche could very well plop you into the popularity of a genre you actually despise. How much money could keep you persisting in that misery?  I don't know about you, but it wouldn't last for me. I'd plunge into a state of infamy for turning my back on that faster than a fanbase could actually benefit me. Experts in marketing might have a slightly better chance of it, but I wouldn't waste too much on whatever they think they can guarantee with a persuasive vocabulary. For every leap on trends to make a buck, you get a mysterious silence where I see zero claims to any happiness or real success from thinking they can ride those coattails to a winning formula.  Or we would all do it, naturally. It has little to do with talent, little to do with quality. If making a living at writing were really so easy, wouldn't we all cough up a little integrity on that cheesy bestseller and then coast on the proceeds to write what we really want?

Even those prolific bestsellers, once again, haven't been able to attain comfortability without cranking out consistent best sellers.  The truth of most success stories comes with one big thing in common.  Most books only see a heyday within the year of their release. Even the largely successful stories end up collecting pennies in royalties over time because even if they stay on the market, they go the way of cheap mass-market paperbacks, not selling predictably enough to be pre-printed and relegated to dusty warehouses...

But wait... there's self-publishing... For all of its ill-repute (which is also dying off), authors taking matters into their own hands can keep reviving their stories and print-on-demand means that booksellers and libraries aren't afraid to take a risk on the little guys anymore. 

Really, it takes some serious guts to decide your work is worth paying for. Always strive to put out the best possible work, but seriously don't beat yourself up about perfection. Good work can have typos, great work can still have fucking typos.

Focus your efforts on a little bit of everything, but do not lose sight of your creative goals by trying to do a bang-up job at marketing or fiddling too much over the details. People will gush about the importance of quality and in a perfect world, of course that's top priority. However, since no one can agree on what the fuck quality actually amounts to, just work on self-improvement-- strive to do what you can do best.

Shit drawers can become overnight web comic superstars with cheesy relatable short comics and mediocre word dumpsters can become Stephenie Meyer and E.L. Fudge (sorry, James), bestselling authors enjoying undeserved success for having the uncanny ability to make not-thinking an American pastime.

Ravenous superfans: I'll save you the trouble.  I am extremely jealous of success, as evidenced by me sitting over here living one of those terrible, horrible, happy and comfortable lives of a creative with integrity. I don't want fame and I sure as shit don't want the infamy that makes people wonder how much lip service was performed on what genitalia to make such a phenomenon possible. 

For all other types of fans that understand how opinions work: enjoy your bad literature without any judgement on your character from me. Your tastes do not indicate your intelligence or your personality and chances are I can get along with you just fine. We all have guilty pleasures and I might make fun of you sometimes, but let's mostly just agree to disagree and not talk about it. Like religion and politics.  We can probably be friends as long as we keep those skeletons in their respective closets. Really, the only absolute I have found is that people have to have compatible senses of humor.  That's about it.  You pretty much never have to agree on anything else.

In any case, let's end this on a positive note. Be practical about the crazy, crazy world of creativity but don't let other people dictate whether or not you will succeed with your plans. Strange things can happen and regret is far worse to live with than taking a risk that weighs on you to be done. Don't let anything keep you from enjoying your ideas.

Be good, be great, be something else-- just keep at it!

You're Not Alone

I try to keep most of my posts as much as possible focused on the positive-- how to push past blocks, overcoming battles with poor health, my own twisted sense of humor and the wonderful power of swearing. It's really important to project that positive persona, but the reality is there are some rather gaping chinks in the armor underneath it all. I'm human, I'm flawed, and I have doubts.  If I have given anyone reason to doubt that, I apologize for the deception.

It would be easy to get a big head about what I do. There are plenty of people who fill me with elation when they extol my virtues. I am plenty proud that I choose to use my talents and build my skills rather than squander it. Trends can be brutal towards how you feel about your own talents, nonetheless. There is a call for intricate realism and while I thoroughly enjoy that talent, I don't feel the call to achieve that in my work. I'm still the sort who is charmed by the beauty of simpler styles. I am always trying to improve, but I read something a while back that really resonated with the choice I made. The masters of painting were all trained in realism, but what separated them from the others was exploring 'style', not what they trained themselves to duplicate from reality but what they found in the freedom of impression. I often see things in reality that I want to incorporate into my fantasy style, but to say that I ever feel inferior because I 'can't' duplicate artists who are 'better' wouldn't be correct either. I thoroughly enjoy what I do, but there is a self-criticism that always nags at me that I can do better.  Not that I can do better than you or them or Van Gogh, but that I can surpass myself.

When I say you're not alone, it's because I do get caught in comparison traps where I mistakenly say 'I wish I could do that'. It's stupid, but it's not. When you strive for something, at best it can push you to work harder. At its worst, you end up sulking in inaction, telling yourself to quit. Don't do that one. And that goes for me too.

Look at what you can do in the present. What specifically are you seeing that you want for yourself? You look at the big picture and overwhelm yourself by saying you want all of it, but you don't give yourself a place to begin. Ask yourself what about a piece is something you covet for your own skills. Are you drawn to the fluid lines of the line drawing? Are you drawn to the clever prose in a book? When you're making those assessments make sure those thoughts end positive.  It can turn into a self-bashing session where you say 'I'm drawn to the fluidity of the lines because mine are so wobbly and awful' or 'I like the clever prose because my prose looks like a first-grade primer in comparison.' Eek, no.  Don't. Just don't. There's one trend in modern culture that needs to die right now and it's shooting down one party to lift up another. Admire something, but don't fall into the trap of downing yourself to do it. I'll listen to a feminist talk about female empowerment, but I'm gone the minute she blames men for all of her problems.  There's nothing productive about blotting out any progression with negativity.

My friend Joe and I were discussing something worth repeating too. I do beat myself up on my skill level a lot more than I should. I give you advice but can't take it, right? Hypocrite. However, despite the harsh criticism, I also don't stop. Anyways, I do a bit of creative self-abuse to where I can get terrified that I WILL stop. Joe always has good examples and this time he offered up this advice: Axl Rose has often said that he refuses to listen to Appetite for Destruction because he picks it apart every time he hears it. My first instinct wasn't to be relieved. Celebrities are constantly expressing doubts to make us all remember they're human. I get that little shoulder devil reminding me, well, how can I compare to someone that has 'made it'. Ouch, Krista, you're taking the wrong thing out of that message and you know it. Then I gathered the mess I made of that and remembered this-- creatives are the most self-critical people on the planet. We're not whipping out successful pieces with the confidence that maybe people think we should be feeling. In fact, I have to wonder how good something can actually be when the creator has not admitted to any doubt along the way. Discomfort in the work shows that the author has confronted the honesty that makes for some riveting work. Sorry, but this doesn't go for 'crying with your character'. Dog shows move me to tears when I'm on my period, but I can assure you that no amount of skill is going to make that a riveting piece of writing.

And oy, the young ones are full of confidence... Not that I'm not young, but I can't say I envy that. I look back on what I've kept from my earlier journeys and I cringe at a good deal of it. Unfailing confidence was harmful to the quality but it did keep me going too. I had to go through a grueling creative phase to actually begin to complete anything worthwhile. Even so, the doubt is still real. Maybe more so.  No amount of 'mastery' has removed doubt.  I've made some cringy mistakes. You might want to buy my first book with all of its glorious errors because when I release it as a trilogy, I plan to bury the evidence as soon as possible. I somehow lost my final edit or saved over it in the name of organization, either way I know what became the final publication was not my final edit and I intend to fix it for later editions. However, you do get to see my charmingly clumsy beginning from over a decade ago.

Look, nothing is perfect is all I'm saying. If I'm annoying you by being positive or preachy, remember that. I need to focus on the positive to press on.  I don't have these ridiculous stores of confidence, but I'll fake it to all hell and back. I don't have the ability to lie and tell everyone they'll love my work.  I have no fucking clue what you'll like, virtual stranger, but I can at least guarantee that my approach is unique and the story is deep and involving. My first series is its own entity, by the way. I take a very different approach to my newest series and the same will be said of others. I don't always explore sexuality, I don't always write adult, I don't even plan to stick to one genre. Maybe plans will change with a fanbase but as a newbie, I just have a lot of ideas. 

You're not alone in your doubts. You're not alone if you're not overflowing with confidence. You're not alone if you don't give a shit and continue to do your thing anyway. Okay, I give a shit, clearly I do, but I won't let it paralyze me. You shouldn't either. We all have at least one good story in us. I'm aiming for a dozen or two anyway.  Because why not? Maybe on my own paths riddled with doubt, I'll inspire someone who might have given up. Maybe that person will grow to inspire me as well when I need it most. In light of that, how can you let comparison paralyze you? The mirror isn't showing you a different you on the days you don't like yourself-- it's your attitude that decides whether there is something to like. Learn to look at your journey honestly and enjoy it for what it is.

Invisible Woman

I'm not the sort of person that wears their heart on their sleeve and I'm not particularly good at 'selling myself'. I have this monumental enthusiasm to tell stories and it's a love that holds no genres. More often than not, it takes place in fantasy worlds because my knowledge of the real world is limited, to say the least. To me, writing in real world places is akin to fanfiction where you're borrowing established canon and either following it or bending it or altogether breaking it. Regardless, it's still difficult for me to talk with complete confidence.  I don't write for trends, I don't stop and remove the uncomfortable parts.  Often it's a very integral part of the human experience. It's awkward and fantastic.  Kinda like me.

Nevertheless, there is very little that surprises me.  There is very little I have ever seen that is even original. A lot of my stories go to the trouble of exploring both character intricacies and the reason why so many worlds are both structured and broken, often in a world that is both relatable and absurd. And what are heroes if not relatable and absurd? If you follow the news, how long are people actually revered before they are yesterday's news?  How many of your idols become people when you meet them?

When I wrote my first nine book series (of which I am already playing with the idea of a prequel), I started that journey with one thing in mind-- I wanted to explore heroes as people despite their larger than life status, to explore why societies turn to tyrants and flawed beings to uphold their way of life. It's tough to change your mind on long held beliefs, but it's something I have done time and again. Grieving for things lost isn't always something we have the luxury to do, and in my case, I dare not let my thoughts go that path. Some people need to feel every bit of it.  For me, that is a dark road I might not return from. 

Ugh, I'm still kind of sick from the weekend, so I'm not sure if I'm making a damn bit of sense. looool

In any case, I still have a campaign going but I have absolutely no clue how to encourage people to preorder.  So read the very short excerpt that REALLY doesn't cover all that's going on and if you know someone that might like it, encourage a preorder. Other than that, I got nothing.  I have things to write and if trad-pub goes splat, I'm self-publishing anyway.  I have kids to raise and stories to write so I can't stay in one place too long with anything. Here's to hoping all of this hard work doesn't go to shit!  lol  I absolutely love my little group of loyal fans, but being new is excruciating. So much doubt, so much stress. I write to counter the stress, so at least it's productive. 

Stay visible and keep writing!

I'm going to mainline this coffee...

Wade in the Water

Not all steps in a creative journey are ones that aren't gonna have you splat ass-first trying to charge out of the gate. Some steps have to be done carefully, preferably while scooting your feet along the bottom of the kiddie pool. Bonus points for that foot of water acting as a safety net. Dress accordingly.  You don't wear your prom dress to this party. You wear your pajamas.

It made a lot more sense in my head and mostly because I do my best writing in bed.

Regardless, there's always a thought train to push these posts and today's is this: I started to do an outline for my web-comic (WebToon) idea. I'm not sure if I hashed it out in previous posts so if not, here is a quick synopsis. I'm planning a sci-fi romantic comedy involving a child psychologist named Kyra Blake and her run-in with a stranded alien (Zeron) when he shows up on Halloween. Naturally, lost-in-translation hilarity ensues. Working title is Rock My World.

In any case, I spend a couple hours of the morning, writing out the first comic in word form (using a format very similar to my old roots at radio play style writing). Thinking about it was making it seem unattainable so I needed to do something tangible that will stare at me from a little file on the desktop screen of my MacBook Pro (ahhhh yeeeaaah, name-dropping the tech, son!).

So now you know the path of the topic. Ideas are a dime a dozen. Synopses are rarely ever going to offer some jaw-dropping revelation you've never seen before. I wasn't trying to be impressive there, but the point is, I've gone a step further.  Only a teensy bit.  What's two hours to a creator? If I'm working fast I can lay out a color base in that little chunk of time annnnnd, that's about it. Wanna know what a color base is?  This:

It's the blobby color blocks I put behind the line work that I eventually lay texture over. Okay, two hours might be optimistic. Some color bases are far more paint-by-number little chunks of horror.

In any case, not all steps are impressive.  Some are painful or even boring. An artist wants to tell you that the journey is always the important part, but sometimes I do have to tell myself that even though this part sucks, it is going to be SO awesome.

I think many people freeze up because they start obsessing on details like the time it will take or how much beginnings suck. Sometimes I know it is quicker to dive in, but I'm just not motivated or confident enough to trust it. When that happens, I go for the baby steps. A lot of writers will send themselves goofy one word emails to capture those errant thoughts for inspiration later. I work from home so obviously I just grab a notebook or pop open the laptop. Nevertheless I had a couple thoughts warring for later use.

Planter- lost

Pigment on earth - albinoism

Those won't mean anything to you, but because they come with a whole scene attached in my mind, I chuckle like an idiot. Pat myself on the back a little.  Good job, Krista, you self-amused crackpot.

And really when you look at those odd clusters of words, your big ideas seem a little bit smaller. Those two idea clusters there are a couple of comic shorts all on their own. You don't have to bust out a masterpiece, just lay some groundwork and build around it.  How do I create the conditions required for these scenes? Well, who needs to be there? Who doesn't really need to be there but might be there anyway? Where are they? What 'props' need to exist to make it work?

While each kind of writing-- screenplay, comic, novel, poem, etc.-- is refined differently, each one needs to set the stage. If you ever played with a dollhouse, you've done this hands-on. Another good example is a war table where pieces representing troops and weapons are placed to plan out an attack. You aren't just playing with the characters, you are also manipulating the world around them, whether it be fictional or one based in reality.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... I'm going big again. The point is you're not just throwing the furniture into the dollhouse living room and plunging into the chaos. You're setting the lamp in the corner by the stairs because it's the easiest place for anyone coming in the room to turn it on. The couch is going against the wall because it's too big to go anywhere else. The coffee table goes in front of the couch, but it's not exactly the best place because the long-legged dad will almost always bump his leg on it when he's going into the kitchen. 

You don't have to think that far ahead to make it work.  Sometimes you just start with an aesthetic. The chair goes there because it's pretty in the sunlight next to the window. You can apply that logic to a character. You probably want to feature them because you are drawn to the idea of them. Eventually you might get a new piece of furniture (character) that would work better there.  What makes writing so captivating is possibility.  Don't overwhelm yourself with possibilities.  Start with those budding ideas of impulse, then work out some of the kinks as you go. 

I like to encourage all people to write and am ambitious enough to want to reach all people, from those who have only thought about it to those who are experienced but always on a never-ending quest for new perspectives.

There's no right way to do this, but think about what approach might be blocking you.  Sometimes you need to dive, sometimes you have to get those toes in one at a time. The more I test different mediums the more I find what works best and, hey, some things that might work best I can be bad at so it becomes something I need to work on.

Try not to think much of your skill level. If you want to make a career of it, then yes, eventually you do need to refine your process more. However, if you're writing for fun, then reach for what makes you enjoy it most. No matter if it's work or play, always be prepared to adjust your thinking. In order to give your ideas the justice they deserve, you have to get into the pool somehow.

Keep those things in mind and keep writing!

What Do I Want Out of My Story?

This is something I ask myself every time I first sit down.  Doesn't matter if I'm starting fresh or geared up to write an ending.  All along the way, I want to know why I'm doing this. Where is my mindset? How do I feel about these characters?  What the hell am I trying to say?

Last night, I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette.  I don't do it often.  Those fuckers are expensive and I don't like the dependency. Last night, I wanted to commune with the night and enjoy the smell of tobacco. As I sat there, I had this odd insight about the difference in light and shadow.  It was something I had learned in art school years ago when I had been asked to draw the refracted light and shadow in a glass. There is very little pure white light and when shadows layer with light, there is beauty in the abstract.  Last night, the small wonder of it involved the curl of the smoke, the waxing gibbous moon in the sky behind me and my dad's car parked in the driveway. 

The insight depended on the exact condition of all three things.  If I didn't feel the urge to smoke, if dad parked his car on the street like he usually does, if the moon had been in any other phase, that moment may never have come. This time, it leaked into a scene in my story, one that started out as profound then blended with my own inability to write without throwing my own brand of humor in.

That is what I want out of my story. Not only in the stories themselves, but I want each piece to grow into something complete, to satisfy my constant curiosity.  I want my doubts and frustrations to lead me to seek new things. I am not the sort to beat myself up over not having the exact tool I need.  Nearly everything I'm seeking creatively comes in its own time. If I can't visualize a fantasy world, it's usually because it's time to focus on a character. If I'm not psyched about writing, there's usually something begging to be drawn.

People often seek to wield or control every aspect, but I'm learning that some things need to be fed gently to grow. Yes, an artist of any kind does wield the power, but I find power in relinquishing control sometimes, in letting the world around me give a nod.  When I pick up the tools to translate the secrets whispered to me, that is my gift to give. 

Worlds are not always weaved from climactic battles and fantastic creatures.  Some worlds are weaved in the quiet hours of morning when a writer asks 'what am I here for?'.

Try Something New

For me, that means agreeing to critique and proof a screenplay.  I have to admit, I was leery of doing it at first. It's not a genre or a format I am current with. I used to write 'radio plays' when I was younger, which is very similar. However, the writer said it was a dark, contemporary tale and instead of saying 'not my genre', I said 'why not'?

I believe in protecting a writer's work so I won't go into details, but I was blown away. He didn't dumb down his vocabulary and, despite his apologies of English not being his first language, he wields it with far more finesse than most native speakers I have ever met. He shows a deep understanding for the subjects, some of whom are well-known celebrities.  It was the sort of piece that I only put down because other things had to be done, but I couldn't wait to get back to it.  Perhaps someday I can be more forthright with the details-- I want bragging rights should it ever make it to the screen. We all know how precarious the zeitgeist is about what wheedles its way to popularity, but boy, would I ever love to see this one make it.

Do the things you're unsure about sometimes.  There are some valuable lessons in stepping into new terrain. This is coming from someone who is usually ridiculously cautious. Besides that, I am in the throes of chasing my own ambitions so there is some anxiety in being away from my work too long.  However, I feel like just reading that piece enhanced my view of scene descriptions. I had to comment to him that it was a shame that his scene descriptions weren't in book form because they need to be read, not just translated to film.

So, incredible work, Antonio Maccagnan. I'm really pulling for you... I'm going to read through it once more to pick up whatever I might have missed on the first sweep.

That being said, I will go back to drafting UnSung with renewed vigor.  Don't get me wrong-- I'm still struggling on this.  Unless I have thoroughly loved and hated everything I have written, I haven't considered it enough. However, forcing myself to read when I would rather write was a good exercise, even though I intend to keep that rare. When I'm in the midst of juggling a huge amount of information, taking too many breaks into other worlds can set me back a lot. I usually juggle at least three different stories at a time already, so there's very little room for distraction.

Nonetheless, if you feel your muse is getting sick of you or you need a break, I definitely recommend offering your unique skills as a proofreader or editor. All writers have a little bit of that in them if they've been making any attempt at improving their craft. I happen to love when people defend my suggestions with rebuttals and I get to learn something from the defense of their choices. It's feedback on my perception of their work-- a very nuanced way to grow. I eat it up, it sustains me.

Imagination seems like an infinite thing, like we can't possibly utilize all of the ideas bursting from our colorful brains, but I hate to say, that's ego talking. Imagination is also not terribly picky or even decipherable at times and it pumps out trash as well as treasure.  Just as you are a vessel of experiences and knowledge, your imagination will always depend on more than just research and stepping away from even the vast resource of the internet.  It's odd how many times a short walk will hit me with a smell, a sound, a color that triggers something, shows me something new or hits me with something familiar. You have to constantly feed your senses, live your life, while hunkering down in front of that screen to spill it out. You need to find the things that move you, not just what gives you the feels in that character. I know I'm coming dangerously close to sounding like I am setting rules, but you already know imagination is no straight line.  What you find outside of it is the logic you need to translate it into something you can share, something others can understand.

Yes, you will benefit from honing your technical skills.

Yes, you will want to be passionate about your ideas.

Most frustration comes from the perception of what there is not enough of. Writing is not a vessel of determinate size and you should not scare yourself with what is 'enough'. Just keep pouring parts into it.  There is no magical recipe, no wrong order for combination. I take the same walk every day and it is never the same. Don't treat your journey the same either.

Quickies: Everybody Loves 'Em

So, this is one of those posts where I just got an insightful daily email from x source (this time from BookDaily) that is just so applicable to my own journey or so helpful to my other writer friends in the same boat that I just had to share.

Rejections... Nobody loves 'em, but for those of us who want to take the courageous step of putting our babies to the agents and publishers of the world, it's a necessary evil.  I didn't start there.  I've mentioned before that for my first baby, I wanted the horns on it, good or bad, and I'm riding it where it goes. For my second series, I decided on a different kind of abuse-- putting it to the 'experts'.

Here's the rub though: agents are people too.  Rejections are going to happen, so this is a good article for putting perspective on that process.

BookDaily Rejection post

Enjoy! Share your frustrations! Above all, keep writing!

Building a World From Scratch: Maps and Crap

You've seen worlds before.  We're in one shared reality with a whole lot of different views on what the hell it is we're seeing.  

Newbie world builders (and we've all been there) tend to fall back on their perception of the real world as a model then plus-one it. Often times, there is an obsession to correct some of the glaring flaws (again, completely subjective) of this world then add elves and kick the shit out of tropes.

Well, that's one way to do it...

After a few insightful posts in a writer support group, I've noticed a couple of things people were consistently overlooking: creative license.  We all love to run parallels with research and learn more about the world we live in.  By way of example, a few of the topics that came up were: masculine and feminine roles, the accuracy of maps, societal norms.  Some of the comments had come up as problem-solving you would apply in the real world and nothing wrong with that.  If you're writing urban fiction or want to accurately depict a mental illness, it makes sense to adhere to some research. However, let's not forget: it's YOUR story. While fantasy should follow some system of logic, it doesn't need to play by the same rules.

What is the logic of society?  Society is created so that ever-increasing numbers of people can work together. Small societies depend on roles even when they are small and isolated though-- people better at one job create better odds for survival.  Have you see the tribal societies where one woman is wet nurse for the whole village? Not only does she excel at milk production, but her job makes it so that women in the tribe better at farming or some other trade can recover quicker and do jobs they are better at. What keeps society going is necessity. In a seemingly perfect society, there might be a horrifying reality-- black market slave trade or a bloodthirsty god demanding sacrifice.  Similarly, a really flawed society might be on tenterhooks with only one powerful force keeping it from dissolving. Your society does not have to be matriarchal or patriarchal to make sense. I may have touched on this before, but my friend Liz has one alien race where the males and females have no societal advantage over the other and don't even use gender pronouns.  This has shit to do with punching you in the face with how society should be.  That society has PLENTY of problems.  The point is you CAN take other routes not modeled after the supposed patriarchal society first-world countries bitch about. There are supremely patriarchal societies in our world.  Supremely matriarchal ones too. However, there is nothing wrong with that in and of itself...

But I digress. We all know that men and women invent a lot of issues between them. Personally, I'm done humoring those arguments because they become accusatory and you're both right and wrong. I'm one of those people that despises small talk but I will take it any day over the shit-slinging war of the sexes. However, that makes a great lead-in for another bullet point-- masculine and feminine characters.

In my eyes, you need a societal structure first which is why that took top spot.  When I start to visualize the world my characters will inhabit, I like to have a good idea of whether they go with the flow, swim up stream, or fly into the sun. First off, does being male or female give them an advantage/disadvantage right away? If so, which do I need them to have? If I really want to skip over the details of society's influence, I pick the 'easy' way out or the road of least resistance.  Not all of us want to make every story an elaborate political construction.  By way of example, Dragon Age:Inquisition handles this beautifully.  Depending on your class and race, several instances in your interactions are immensely different. A human warrior might float through that section unscathed, but your elven mage is gonna have a bad time. 

Ah, so before I nudge too far off the tracks, this can be your concern to address from the get-go with gender roles. Some people worry about whether they are writing a male or female to be... male or female enough. My experience is that you are the one directing the narration, so that is something you have the burden of.  Don't make excuses for your characters!  If your he-man likes flouncing around in a tutu and your society doesn't give a crap, make that authentic to the reader. 

{Bystander:Uh, hey, Taco is bouncing around in a tutu again...

Other Bystander: Yeah, and?

Bystander: I think he's wearing it backwards.

Other Bystander: How can you tell?

Bystander: My daughter has one and the bow goes in the back.}

I'm not going to wax poetic about the virtues of defying gender roles.  That is missing the point of creative license.  Look, some people embrace the feminine and masculine gender roles in their society.  They are also perfectly capable of not giving a shit if someone else does or not. The assholes that make it their duty to oppose it? That's where you get your opposing forces and antagonistic scenes. Because any logical society has those people. Usually, they're also a gripey minority with no actual power, just bitching on the sidelines. I have in equal parts told to be more feminine, accepted for not being particularly feminine, embracing what is feminine about me, and not giving a shit if it's feminine or not. I've never needed permission. Bonus points for being that bitch.

The other one I had brought up is map accuracy. This is actually a subtopic that fits under 'things fantasy writers add to breathe more life into their work.' Other good examples I have seen include character art, music soundtracks (either a kind of assortment of chapter or character theme songs or just what people like to listen to while they write), side stories...  Some writers like to do a little or a lot of all of the above.

(Side note: Where I currently stand on this! Maps are a sometimes thing. I do have maps for my first series and my current work in progress. They need them or I get lost.  Yes, ME. A YA story I'm doing doesn't need them. It juggles between places on Earth and pockets with no actual physical location. Character art?  I love doing it, but I make it clear that even I am not locked in on what they actually look like.  I consider it fan art for my own stories. Music? Not a chance. I have music in my head.  Constantly. I can listen to songs with no words when I write, but no writing gets done when there are words being sung.  I am guaranteed to stop and karaoke. Side stories? Ehhhhh, it's probably going to end up being a full novel though. In fact, some of my early books were a collection of short stories.  This is why they started out... clunky and telling before I relaxed that tendency.)

MAP ACCURACY!  Damn it, girl, focus! One commenter had asked if people bothered with tectonic plates or natural formation of mountains. Phew.  Gotta say if this is important for your world or even for your knowledge hunt, more power to you, but ZRMGRFLFUCK (zer-mah-gurr-full-fuck for the phonetically inclined), that would give me a brain aneurysm. For one thing, I do often plot things like underground springs or caves or tunnels in the story itself but I form maps purely for directional navigation-- I don't even consider scale. You only need to look at Game of Thrones for a hilarious contradiction in its praise for 'historical' accuracy and... glaring inaccuracy at the speed of travel. Someone might care but it definitely isn't a deal breaker. My take on maps is that they serve a purpose. Do they enhance your experience, help your plot, motivate you? I'd say skip it altogether if there is nothing in it for you. 

I'm sure by comparison sometimes you might feel like the underachiever.  Personally, I don't operate on comparison.  Too many pitfalls there and none of it is something I gain productivity from. My dedication levels work for me.  Some writers are fully immersing themselves into a single world so of course their passion means a HUGE amount of companion media attached to the writing alone. For me, I tend to carefully plan which things are feasible because other ideas are at war for my time. Often my artwork is not my absolute best effort.  My absolute best can take days for one picture.  I pick and pick and pick if I have a mind to. But no, right now, it's a lot about letting my muse get some say.  Insofar, the productivity has been massive where it had been a trickle for a while there. This means world hopping and quick sketches and experimenting. Other than reading my friend's story, I've also offered to proofread a screenplay written by a native Italian in English. Yeah, curiosity piqued on that one.  I haven't proofread a screenplay before, but I used to write radio plays and I've done some stage acting, so it's not completely unknown.

So!  This week, back to the coloring process for the final book for The Truth about Heroes before a new tale begins in that world with the A World Reborn series. I know all three trilogies should probably get one big fancy name-- I've called them the Heroes, World and Universe trilogies, but they need an epic compilation name. Nothing seems to come to mind though. Right now, it's the only thing I'm publishing so until I need people to know they tie-in, it's not immediately important.

In closing, UnSung is in motion and I've poked at Dreampunk Chronicles a bit. Piscine hasn't gotten any love, but I'm thinking that one is getting shoved into next year.  Just so much to do for a while that I want that one to get more of a solitary focus.

And that's it for... my musings and updates.  Love my little writing group for all of its diplomacy and inspiring posts to talk about. I haven't seen anything I would call false, but some assumptions deserved a bit of careful insight.

Fantasy is only as restrictive as you need or want it to be. I think all writers tend to be swept away on currents of characters and plot but, ultimately, defend your creative license and flex that creative muscle! 

Keep writing and reading, daydreaming, taking long walks and avoiding housework...