It’s been a while since I’ve wandered over to the old blog to post updates and I thought about not doing it because I have no idea what I even wrote about last time so instead, I’ll just apologize if I’m rehashing anything here again.
In January, I saw my primary doctor again and was able to get back on Vyvanse again, which helped me sort out my head. On the upside, it no longer raises my heart rate and BP since getting back on it. Insurance switched it over to generic only but I haven’t had any issues except for some mild headaches at first, but that went away within a week. I’m also on order for two dosage amounts that work best in case one or the other is short one month. So far, no issues though.
Went back to the foot doctor in February because the foot issue was lingering too long. First we discussed possible nerve surgery since the x-rays didn’t turn up anything he could see but he wanted to get an MRI first to rule out other possible culprits that would make the surgery the wrong one. Results for that came back for possible early osteonecrosis of the second metatarsal, a hairline crack at the head of the joint, so again, going conservative by treating it like a stress fracture and I now wear a fracture boot and take diclofenac for inflammation. I go back early March to see if that does much good. If not, well, a Freiburg infraction (another term for it) is likely and that will be several surgeries down the road because you can’t stop the deterioration. Core decompression surgery and replacement surgery are the big ones but I’ve seen other options that might help slow the progression and pain of it too. As usual, we’ll see. When it comes to these things, it’s a waste of precious time to fixate on worrying over what could be. I stayed informed and hope for the best and leave it at that.
As if to drive home that things can always suck a little extra, I caught a nasty cold after so carefully avoiding any for the past few years but it was bound to hit like a brick because of that. I’m still on the sticky congestion stage after a week but I’m basically getting back to normal now.
Did some work making the digital files I’ll be printing for my miniature cafe project. Really, once I rig lights and get the walls, windows, door and patio attachment done, the rest will come together pretty quickly. I have most of the detailing done, though I may think of little touches to work on as I go, but it’s likely I can finish it this month. Plans are a bit of a lost cause so realistically that’s if bigger obstacles don’t worm in. At this point, I’m just happy I could work on a few things today. That was definitely the hardest part of enduring that cold, though that awful sore and bone dry throat that tortured me the first three days was definitely a contender until the mucus came along and offered relief.
lol I crocheted yet another sweater for my sister and I’m planning on doing a summer beach coverup for her next. I never wear the things I make so I figured I’d be able to satisfy my curiosity and put it to good use that way. And yeah, yeah, I *could* sell it but that way always lies misery. I enjoy gifting; I don’t enjoy explaining how if I sell it, it won’t be cheap. But it’s one of the few ways artists can control their value and enjoyment of their skills. It doesn’t have to make sense to others but that’s the way I do it and it works for me. Integrity of my values and control of my assets have taken years to sort out. If you want me to funnel precious time and energy into a specific project, the offer has to fulfill those. Otherwise, I want to put my time towards my long queue of things I’ll likely never finish but will certainly attempt to.
I have things to draw, books to write, ideas to crochet (or turn into patterns), dolls to customize, video games to play, miniatures to make, 3D models to design… being a conveyor line of low-cost goods isn’t among them. I have definitely been focusing time towards ‘giving back’ as well, where I enjoy teaching people about my skills and hobbies, awareness for ADHD and fibroids and so on. I don’t sit around with nothing to do. I have to constantly make sure I’m achieving a balance between these things and the most basic of needs. No more ‘ha ha, I’ll sleep when I’m dead’; no, ma’am/sir, sleep and exercise and diet are all things I can’t just sacrifice thoughtlessly for work or passion. If I really want to get all I can out of life, I have to remember I’m not getting younger or more ambitious. But I’m getting better at everything and more realistic about how life works. I just want to get those things in that matter. I intend to be stubborn about my priorities but flexible about what I can actually do about them.
And that’s that. No leaping for me. Fucked up foot and all. But already I’m thinking, what exercises will I be able to do long term if this becomes a longer obstacle? Why not learn and prepare just enough that hope allows for optimism too? Why not make those outrageous things I might have laughed about before but then stop and think ‘actually, that would be pretty awesome if I could’? Let’s go for it…
