Getting Busy

So the past couple of days have been productive at least. I managed to tape up my Rienna and cut out the pieces of fabric to make her cape and hood. I used some stiff paper to create a sort of ledge for the shoulder pieces. I might attempt my air dry clay later, but I've ordered a different kind in case this stuff doesn't work. It's a kid's clay that I have right now, so it will give me a feel for sculpting, even if it doesn't hold up well.

I also started some diamond painting of a sakura tree. I forgot how maddening diamond painting is. Takes forever and kills more time than I would like it to, but it's still a good distraction.

What else? Writing. Yes, I've managed to finish a second chapter of the Dreampunk Chronicles, so that's good. Poking away at UnHeard is also good. I have no idea what I wanted to do with one of my short stories. I think I confused myself when I initially wrote it, so I had to do a quick fact check, but I think I know what to do with it.

I'll probably release the three stories as one. One's very short, only about 10K words. The other is about 20-25. Not sure how long the last one will be, but it will be small enough that it won't break anyone's bank. Unfortunately, epic fantasy really drives up the price of prints, but I can at least keep the ebooks at a decent price. I'm thinking of calling it Before They Were Heroes, since each of them deals with characters I've done before the events took place in their series. One is pretty much romance erotica, while the other two are procedural in terms of fantasy. Either way, they still fit together, so I'll leave it at that.

But it's New Year's Eve and almost 2020, so I'm looking at a board game night with my sister and nephews and some good times. Better get things started (or at least get out the games). I'll see the rest of you on the other side of the ball dropping. Happy New Year!

On the Ball

It's kinda fun studying maps and images to try to put myself in a place I've never been. Once I plotted that out, it was then a blast just to explore it as a work of fiction to wander through. Conversations, plots, and making those images come to life. I like this internet adventure I've stumbled into!

So I wrote a few thousand words, divided up into the one I've been researching (France, in Through the Golden Doors), my short story collection based on the pasts of characters from my two series, and a little towards UnHeard and its rocky new paths I've attempted to lay out.

Epic fantasy can be a real bitch though, dealing with a roster of fully-realized characters in places you make up. Gotta keep all that straight so you can pants it all you want; at some point, you gotta pull up your pants and do some plotting! Of course, writing wouldn't be as much fun if you had to plot everything and just get it down. There's still flexibility in conversations and movement and character, so there's something to be admired in the many ways writers get their ideas accomplished.

I'd love to work on my doll projects, but it's kind of a crappy cloudy day and I tend to do better with writing and such on those meh days. Good lighting is important for painting on faces or adjusting fabric, so I'll definitely save that for a good day.

Maybe once I publish Through the Golden Doors, I'll take you to some of the real life places I visited in research, do some blogs on those places that inspired the dream worlds beyond them. I'm usually stuck on what I'm up to (and it's not exciting) but eventually, I would like to share more.

There's simply grudge and drudgery phases and those bright and shiny share phases where stuff gets finished.

I'll get there, but there's no point in rushing it. I'm already insanely ahead of where I could be. 11 rather sizeable books published in a couple years... Maybe it's a good thing I slowed down. I think some stories need time to ripen a bit too!

Might take a break from blogging until I have something to share though. But thanks to anyone that bears through my maybes and bare bones updates.

Another Modest Word Count

So today, I worked on the Dreampunk story again. In case, you're not sure of what I mean, it's the YA (young adult) fantasy novel featuring two girls, Miria and Vivienne, from Louisiana that discover they have the power to travel into pockets between our world and another, or the Real and Surreal, gathering artifacts and closing the rifts that are rather dangerous to other humans.

I've put a modest, maybe, 1000-1500 words in this morning, but I've made it a personal goal to just write towards my projects for at least a half hour a day. Not counting research, that is, so I actually spend at least an hour on the back and forth, since I've never actually been to the places where I'm setting up their journey in the real world. Traveling through the eyes of the internet so I may have to do quite a bit of changing in the editing process.

The working title of the Dreampunk Chronicles is actually Through the Golden Doors, which points to the start of their adventure. The scene I start with is based on a dream I had, where they are quite familiar with their gifts, so after that, I travel back to a time before they are acquainted with them and initiate the reader into their first awkward trip to the Surreal. The vocabulary is still advanced, but I think that at least Middle Grade readers would be able to field this one. I'm not filling it with gratuitous swearing or dark themes as I did in my first series, so it definitely won't be filed as Adult. I really wanted to write something my nephews could pick up without any embarrassment for the content. When I write for adults, I simply assume they understand sex and violence, whether they're comfortable with it or not.

So there's that, but since my goal is to both take care of my creative AND physical self, I'm also dedicating time to exercise and watching my diet. I gained back about 30 pounds this year that I'd like to melt away again. I simply felt better without it, so it's not totally a vanity play. Looking better does make one feel better though so let's not pretend it's not nicer to look better as well. If I had the discipline, I'd go for being muscular, because damn, can I build some impressive muscle, but it's also an obsession that too often distracts me from the creative. My journey's goals are about balance though, so we'll take smaller steps for the time being.

In any case, it's time for me to wander off to the next action. A little exercise, then I might hop back into writing. Or figuring out where in the hell I can actually put my new airbrush set. I didn't think this one through. I need a craft room... Can I get a few thousand bucks to build an extension on this house? No? Looks like I'll have to make do.

Don't mind my goofy ass. Just... do you too and we'll make it work. Peace, darlings!

Merry Christmas!

So it's been a good day, filled with board games and video games. At the moment, I'm researching Alsace, France for a book I'm working on. While actually traveling to these places would be the absolute best way to write about them, I'm going to attempt to simply write them through the eye of the internet. Maybe someday, I'll end up getting to write the screenplay and get sent on a wonderful tour to chase the facts in person. Sometimes, you write first and research later, so perhaps the first edition might need some corrections in the future anyway. It'll be a work of fiction ultimately, so if I can suspend disbelief, it's well enough.

I won't take up too much time here, since I've promised my nephews I'd be available when they want to play some of their new toys or games with me (also why I've stuck to research--much easier to break away from a research dalliance than a juicy scene). However, I'd like to take the time to wish you all Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year. If all goes well, I'll simply be too engaged in writing and other projects to really notice being absent elsewhere.

So enjoy your holidays and make the best of every day!

Christmas Eve Productivity

So I started the day with about 1200 words towards UnHeard. As I've said before, it's not really writer's block that is a problem. In this case, I'd been coming up with the ideas, but it's my rather sluggish laptop that frustrates me into not really wanting to work on it. I'll eventually get a nice writing laptop and leave this one to just drawing again. I did an intro scene between two of the main character's brothers, which I may or may not like later. Better to just get it down and let the editing decide later.

I've delved into that, but I'm hopping over to my Dreampunk YA story instead. I've been wanting to edit it, again, after becoming more familiar with it through my thought processes. It's my friend Antonio that got me thinking about the parallels between real world places and the other worlds the girls visit, so I'm more than happy to go back into it with the new ideas.

I don't know what order I care to finish them (what will be published next), but let's stick to enjoying the journey. I'm back, at least, for the time being and I plan on NOT planning and just letting the drive commence how it will. After having my friend Kristian ask if I'm writing, and the answer being no, I simply decided I hated the truth in that answer. So I *am* writing. Simple as that.

I plan on meeting up with one of my sisters for the first time after Christmas. It's complicated, but I'd like to attempt to make it less so. I'd like to meet the other as well, but I think it will be best to meet them one-on-one, not make them feel like they have to compete for attention and all that. It's a roller coaster either way, so I hope the ride is as smooth and thrilling as possible.

Ready to celebrate Christmas with commercialism tomorrow, spending a day eating great food and enjoying some new things with my nephews. Games, of the video and board persuasion both, and relaxation and, yes, even more writing or creating. Could be crafting or drawing. Who knows? I like this avant-garde decision process.

So onto the editing and continuation of Dreampunk for now. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all! Have a great rest of the year and a better year to come!

Daybreak

Started the day with vacuuming and wrapping gifts so I won't babble on about my pre-noon day. Not the rest is super exciting, but...

I did binge Season One of The Witcher and Henry Cavill makes for one hell of a yummy Geralt. I don't just mean that in the objectification sense; I really mean that aside from being a handsome devil, he also injected a succulent amount of that questionable Geralt charm and grey morality that the role needed. I really liked the actors picked until a lackluster Triss showed up in the 7th episode. A little put off that with the detail to eye and hair color that went into the others, they'd pass up a flaming red haired Triss. But it's a forgivable offense in a show that otherwise held my flighty attention span. The way they roll out the characters will even make it more friendly for first timers. The rest of us, gamers and readers, had a bit of whiplash from gathering the past lives and present connections spanning the series.

All in all, it makes me want to delve into writing my stories again. While I can't decide if UnHeard or  Through the Golden Doors or even Rock My World will get some attention (those three have been producing at least hints of a nudge over the months), I think I'll just open my laptop and take a shot until something sticks.

Finishing my day with some Kahlua and coffee. Because I'm backwards. But it's lulling me as I hoped. After some good rest, I'm hoping a day of writing is ahead. Christmas is sneaking up on us and I'm excited for that too.

Happy Holidays ahead to everyone! Keep your dreams on your sleeves!

Break Time

Oh, the possibilities for the next two weeks, without work, are endless.

Tips were super so first thing I did? Order an airbrush set! If you've followed my blog, you know I've been wanting one to do the matte clear layers on doll faces. Mostly. I totally intend to let my curiosity wild. But it won't be within the next couple weeks unfortunately since it'll take a month to get here. I shelled out for a good compressor though, not just the little ones you can get cheap. I've seen the Vallejo brand of matte varnish recommended so I shelled out for a little bottle of that too.

I'm also likely to work on the eye motifs for a small decorative blanket I crocheting... Pics to come once finished, of course.

I do have some wrapping to do still but that's mostly done. I do look forward to some family time for the holidays.

Dolls, writing, drawing-- so many possibilities. Why plan it all neatly when impulse is so much more satisfying? I did get my mischievous Minifee and Dreamland Karen, both white as the driven snow, as opposed to the usual natural peach tone my other dolls have. Yes, I love the darker skin tones but they're pretty pricey. Light and medium resins and plastics are easier to mix while a doll maker can hit inconsistencies in dark mixes if they don't know what they're doing. I consider myself a novice so there are certain prices I'm just not comfortable with paying... So I do without certain options for now. I bet I could learn to blush doll skin with the airbrush to get darker tones to look natural. Eventually. But with all on my plate, it's not a short term goal.

Onto a bout of sleep. Oh yeah, you didn't think I'd do without that luxury, did you?

Christmas Sprint

so, this morning was a quick stop at Dollar Tree and Walmart. Wrapping supplies I missed on the first trip, way more gift tags than I can use in a decade (they stuck together), a retirement gift for Margie (one of the waitresses I work with at Sports Page) and some Christmas shirts to wear to work and hopefully encourage customers to throw some some nice tips our way in the spirit of giving. Much needed after the slow business and small tips of the past week.

But hey, I do enjoy the customers and work so I don't grumble about bad tips to them or treat anyone differently for being cheap. It happens and often we do get generous tippers to balance it out. Most days anyway... Still not worth griping about. It's rare I find a job I actually like showing up to.

So with all that out of the way, it'll be some Christmas cleaning. We always do the big wrapping event on Christmas Eve, so there's that. Why wait for Spring to make the nest a comfy clean place? Same reason why New Year's Resolutions aren't something I peg change on. Sooner is always better than later. Circumstances are something we have to adjust to in life. Plans are great, but things come in the way and we can't let ourselves be defeated before we've given it the best chance to begin... again and again, if needed.

I always have plans to write or draw or craft, but what is done is a thing that often has to be in the moment and organic. Forcing things can work, but more often than not, there is a time I have to respect its pull. It can be graceful or a whip crack. It is what it is.

Back to the grinds, whatever they may be!

Magic Pill

There are few diagnoses that ever led to solutions for problems in my life. Bipolar Type II, sure, fibromyalgia, ouch, GERD, eh... The list went on with little relief, each one not really explaining where my energy and focus went and why treating them wasn't making them come back.

ADHD. Didn't really think that was it. I internalized unexplained anxiety, causing mood swings and lack of impulse control. I wasn't an outward exhibitor, largely because surviving in my environment meant a poker face and suppressive methods. Rather than becoming more socially adept, I was becoming increasingly frustrated with not being able to get it. Any of it.

However, I was willing to accept anything a doctor could tell me, get back on medications and be honest with myself. It wasn't until I started taking Vyvanse that I started really seeing myself. The body aches are less. The focus and energy to actually do things I love is back. I'm working on projects more often and having less anxiety about the unfinished things, just enjoying what I'm doing in the moment. With ADHD, there is a tendency to either have no focus or an intense stubborn focus on one thing. I'm both more flexible with having to put something down and less anxious about starting things.

I'm not going to say it's a miracle, but it's promising. A little stimulant is helping me wrangle my brain without the fear I'm becoming too numb or losing myself. It's helping me get back what matters most.

Vyvanse isn't for everyone. I've known some who do better with Adderall. What comforts me about Vyvanse is its lower addictive properties. If longer term side effects are negative, it's less damaging to withdraw from it.

I've been the frustrated Guinea pig in the past but my resolve to be honest about my problems, even when I'm confused, is making a big difference. Public knowledge of ADHD, autism and mental illness is making doctors more aware of what to ask confused patients. Because I'm very intelligent, ADHD was overlooked. Of course, ADHD was once attributed to hyperactive children who struggle with tests. Until markers like focus were examined (I aced tests but skirted around homework. Did class work well but never studied.), doctors were missing what made me awkward, sensitive and frustrated. Teachers were struggling to understand the extremities.

I talk about this because every story can help someone make a breakthrough. People CAN find a way to live their best life if they can learn to balance their chemistry. Now, I'll never be normal, sometimes inappropriate, always socially awkward, but when something can blow away the fog and pain that doesn't make sense, what is left is room for what I want.

I always wondered why Adderall didn't speed me up like it did my peers. But now it makes sense why it was just making me feel the normal that people talked about.

I hope Vyvanse is a lasting solution. I've had very little luck in the past, but a whole lot of hope. Maybe now I can start to do more normal things, like drive a car or go on a date. Okay, maybe just drive. I've never been that interested in dating.

Anyways, back to crochet for tonight. Quite a bit to do before Christmas!

Adding an edit here, something I don't often do. I am very optimistic but when it comes to drugs, I feel the need to be more responsible about my observations.

Mornings suck. When I wake up, I immediately take a handful of medicines to shake off the feeling of being 80 years old. Sour or cramping stomach, body aches everywhere, lethargy. I walk the boys to school feeling like I'm hiking up a bumpy mountain. It takes about half and hour to an hour for everything to make me feel normal and it's almost euphoric to get there. Keep in mind, that euphoria isn't somehow making normal people superhuman and happy. If you don't need drugs like Adderall or Vyvanse, you might feel more focused or hyper, but your risk of dependency and the downside of negative side effects more than someone who does. Because people who are using a drug they don't need are abusing it, and that comes with all the things addicts are often in denial of.

I don't mean to lecture my readers, but it's so important to understand the messages we hear about drugs. At the grocery store up the street from my house, a man was overdosing on heroin in the parking lot. We live in a world where people are chasing false highs at alarming rates and the denial is even greater.

So I hope you understand that my magic pill is simply helping me function on a normal adult level. I'm not free of problems and anxieties, I'm just in a place where my body stops giving me so many false signals. I'm experiencing benefits like impulse control, focus, energy, things people take for granted. I can't blame people for taking things for granted because everyone is struggling.... All the same, where I mostly function as a scared teenager, I've been able to come out of my shell a bit to do things the rest of the world does easily.

I feel incredibly lucky that I can work with doctors who care. Right now, that is largely due to being on poor people's insurance. I can't stress enough how much ALL Americans, even ones who can afford it, should not have to pay for basic or life saving medical needs. So I'm going to close with that. Medicare for ALL. Americans can't be our greatest if we aren't healthy!

To Edit or Read or Write

I finally got around to reading my friend Matt Roberts' new book, Lil Horror Stories for the Soul, and have a few things to point out. Story selection. He did a great job using the shortest less substantial stories first, followed by a few beefier entries before finishing with a well-researched fact/fiction novella. This particular strategy should be used by other multi-length authors; it did well to warm people up to his strengths of style.

I truly enjoyed editing the longest and final story for him, as a side note. Right now, I do editing purely for enjoyment, taking on betas I simply have a gut feeling I'll enjoy. Insofar, I've never been wrong.

So when will I write again? It's a good question but I can't say for certain. I've been getting tidbits of good ideas that I jot down for later, but there are three particular stories-- UnHeard, Piscine, and Through the Golden Doors that are warring for my idea space. Even my comic idea gets a poke here and there. I'm hoping I grab my laptop and become obsessed with one of those in particular. Not that I can't and haven't juggled stories, but each of these has vastly different needs that deserve my full attention.

Today, I went shopping, helped my nephew set up his Oculus Rift, crocheted and set up my Switch. Full day and one I'm not quite ready to put to bed. Soon, but not yet. All the same, I look forward to the work week at Sports Page, and to the coming Christmas break. I was able to buy some great gifts with my people in mind and can't quite wait to be able to give them to them. Namely because they're clogging my closet at the moment. My room is already a bitch for space...

So that's about where I am. Content and hoping there are more good things to come. Crazy world, but I'm doing all right with it so far.

Take care of yourselves too!

Not Bad

Put another day of WinterFest away. Got to see my friend Cliff pulling the same side hustle, so that was an unforeseen bonus! I worked at Street Pizza, a gig I fell right into with ease despite not having done it for a year. It's not hard slinging pizza though. One of my first jobs was a pizza place after all. Over 20 years ago. Should that make me feel old? Things like that don't really have that kind of power over my mentality though. So, no.

It's a rainy day but I'll be doing it again. They might send us home before 10, which I won't complain about. My back is plenty achy (a thing which actually does make me feel old) but otherwise, I'm good to go.

What else? Did some crocheting today. Still working on some little Christmas gifts for a few people. Nothing too big since blankets can take weeks or even months. Sticking to some little figures of Christmas theme and hopping around to which one appeals most. Working on elves at the moment.

I did finish Dameon's Ezio, so...

Share! It's a lot more simplified than my vision for it, but it was a tricky one to make, period. Still turned out absolutely adorable.

I might remember to share my current projects once finished, but tis the season for some lazy, FA la la la la, la la la la.

I ended up sorting some shelves to make my doll addiction look less like a crowded elevator of half finished dolls. Damn, I know; my life is too exciting, but in all seriousness, that's just the way I like it. Quiet, like me, and full of cerebral but hands on activity. There's a lot of pride in finishing these things.

Provided I get around to that any time soon. I'm back to starting more than I can keep track of. But if you know me, you know I will get to it in time. Some things need timing...

Well, off to get ready for another WinterFest. Tomorrow, I get to see my Em and we can geek about everything, possibly while sipping wine and making less sense. Then back to my Sports Page job for the week. Gotta love the hustle for keeping a girl busy at least.

Rolling Along

Despite being rather roly-poly on Thanksgiving dinner (and more Thanksgiving dinner, being leftovers), I'm hauling my ass up to work at King's Island's Winterfest tonight and tomorrow night as well. Would I ever love to be lazy, but having Christmas (and Nintendo Switch) money is the higher priority.

NaNoWriMo? I got about 500 words done this month but I'm calling a personal month as a sort of New Year's Resolution in my future to make up for it. 

My doll projects are only getting lightly poked at but I have a FairyLand Karsh (my first strung ball-jointed doll!) and a MiniFee something or other that I won as a freebie coming so the dolls are officially getting out of hand! I've got a girl Nendoroid blank body coming but couldn't pass it up at $10. So I have a butt load to personalize but I'd still like to wait to until I get an airbrush set to do face ups. It would make the sealant part go much smoother.

I did cave and get the print copies of my three trilogies, which is a little boost too. It doesn't feel real that I've written 11 books, that I've got even more being written, however slowly. Writing a single book is a big deal so when I look back and see how much work I did over three years to get those books to print, it's staggering. I have to really sit (and fidget, as my doctors would joke) and look at what a huge accomplishment that is and really let myself absorb that. It still doesn't seem real that I published my first book in August 2017 and got the others together within a year. And it wasn't a rush job. Somehow I sat and edited them countless times, did covers, formatted, built a little website, and I still didn't see how very much I had done to make it happen. Only when I sit and think do I remember the vast amount of work and care I put into making it happen.

But I have wonderful friends who always remind me. Who remember to remind me to be proud, to feel the accomplishment. To keep gathering stuff to make a wonderful booth at some upcoming convention and to believe in my many talents. Because whether or not I always see it, there is very little I set out to learn that I don't master with practice and diligence. And when it's time to take a break, even if I sit out for a full year, I often accomplish more in a year than people who set out to do so in a decade or two.

Why? Because I believe that dreams are worth working for. That sometimes there's a fire and sometimes there are embers but we mind them how we can. We force the flame or stare at the embers but we can't seem to put it behind us. We don't look at our age or even accomplishments. When pursuing a dream, all those worries get to vanish for a while when we crack into our working mind. We don't always pay attention to time or deadlines. Sometimes we charge beyond a goal, sometimes we fall short, but we don't forget. Dreams that persist just don't pass like waking dreams. They encompass all we are and demand. To ignore them is the only way to feel regret.

I consider myself lucky. That I have such a varied life full of work and wonder and people who see what I hope to be yet appreciate what I am. Whether I'm pinching pennies or emptying my wallet, they're just not looking at my material state. My dreams don't live or die based on wealth. Now, working pulls the energy out of me, sure, but that's a temporary situation I am also currently grateful for. I've been able to fund some of those material goodies to make my brand memorable. My name is rather unique too and comes up easy on searches...

Rambling is a sign I'm ready to go, but thanks for reading! Back to the grind and with hope in my step. May your steps fall only on the path you choose!

500 word count? Yup...

Apart from not really embracing the change NaNoWriMo.org went with this year with the new site, I realized that with this long brutal cold came the realization that 50K was no longer realistic at this stage in my life. Although altering the end of a scene, about 500 words of it, to bridge into a whole new section of the story? That's feasible.

The stress of work and family, though something I try to keep separate, is still rather poorly bottled. I get this annoying tick in my left eye when stress is rearing its ugly head and my heart has been racing more than is healthy. Meds are... Helping, but they aren't a cure-all against the confusion, selfishness, anger and frantic tug of war going on around me.

I'd like to make it until the last two weeks of the year with this job. Make Christmas fun by accumulating thoughtful gifts, making some of them through craft and crochet. This has meant putting creative projects lower on the priority scale but not dashing them away altogether.

Honestly, don't know how the full timers fit writing in. I can't ever seem to get enough rest to get my mind in the right place even with working part time. I admire it. Maybe the scarcity even makes it all the more precious.

But I've always done better when I have at least a solid four hours to create, nothing else competing for that time. And that will come again, so I'm not going to demand of myself what will only endanger my well-being. Creativity is work. A glorious kind but no less demanding of its own criteria. It doesn't exist the same for everyone. For me, it's fragile and I know that's part of its charm even if I'm not so fond of its fickle nature.

Reading what I have invigorates me. Maybe it's a bit of narcissism but I love to reread my writing, to feel the pull in a more engrossing way than when I first wrote it even. Perhaps that marriage is how we know our words are right for our story. When we allow a little visceral enjoyment, can't help but feel even as we go clinical with the edit, maybe that's when we're fine tuning our intuition.

And sure, maybe that's a little bit our downfall. Where we can get too sensitive or precious with a moment that may fall flat for other readers. But maybes are a silly thing to fret too much about. I understood from the moment I wrote my first book that I don't want to be constantly impressing an audience. Sometimes I make it awkward or embarrassing or disgusting, but at the very least, I hope it's not boring!

So I'm enjoying a relaxing weekend of healing and sleeping and maybe gaming or small project tweaking. No grand plans, just rolling with what can be handled. I'm determined to press on the next few weeks with as much optimism as I can muster. In this way, I'll face the now, but look forward to a freer space with my time where the piling projects can start becoming completed. It would be easy to get frustrated if I were to demand too much just now. I already know how clutter can make a living space unlivable; the same goes for cluttering your mind with too much aspiration. We're all given internal mechanisms to measure what is best for us. It can be wrong and broken at times, but on the chance that it's right, pushing too much is a deal breaker. Whatever we promise ourselves, sometimes spinning our wheels too much just obliterates desire. I've fixated myself into absolute boredom at times, a word I thought no longer applied to me. But no, boredom is sometimes recovery from overloading with fixation. Just as there is a marriage, there is sometimes a divorce with passion.

Just don't sign those papers. When it comes to loving what you do, the marriage revives in time.

Stinking Cold...

I'm not throwing in the towel yet, even though this cold is making it impossible to start writing for NaNo. I know; rather than wasting my limited time before getting dizzy while blogging it could be writing.

No, it couldn't. Trust me. If I was writing a book about LSD trips, I'd be good, but I literally thought I saw a pair of boots running a few feet ahead of the girl wearing them today. I'm not taking any meds that would do that, just good old fashioned sick hallucinating.

On that note, I felt okay to make a flower chain for my doll's head, so again, total hippie LSD shit I wouldn't trust in my book.

I guess that's a pretty important point-- know thy book. I'm sure people can gush about how surreality is exactly what fuels their creativity, but it's just not going to be for every writer. Even though I write fantasy, the book I'm working on has some pretty tight logic systems that I REALLY don't want to confuse with... whatever my head is doing these days. One pretentious thing that some writers do that makes me want to punch a nun is that thing where they act like being altered is the source of their creativity. I've spend a good part of my life struggling with an undiagnosed mental condition that did more to hinder than help. It's not because I lacked the ability to harness it. I've worked through depression, anxiety and hyperfixation, but there's not always a pretty solution around it. Sometimes it rides you. Sometimes you beat it into submission, but there's never been a formula--no matter how pretentious I might have claimed there is in the past. I was lucky sometimes, unlucky at others. Now I'm simply satisfied when I try.

So, no panicking just yet. I knew this cold would be a kicker on my ability to enjoy a word count. But drawing, doll customization projects, the ability to feel fulfilled--all of those things are on the back burner while I do that gutter-fucking slut-genitalia ass-blasting boredom circuit that is being sick. I haven't enjoyed balloony headedness as I have in the past with colds. Nope, this one just sucks and leaves me with this incessant need to do things my body is just not letting me do.

Except for sleep. Lots of that planned until I can heal up and kick some ass again.

Mwah. Love, peace and chicken grease!

Slow Start

As it turns out, I haven't *yet* gotten going on NaNoWriMo and it's Day 7. On previous years, I was pretty much halfway done or more by this point, but life got in the way. November 1st, work. November 2nd, a wonderful wine tasting trip with dear friends Erika and Phil. November 3rd until now? Bad cold. I'm taking antibiotics and steroids but I'm still not quite human. I worked today and I work tomorrow, so it's looking like Saturday is where I stumble to the starting line in Heelies and dangling from the bumper of a drag-racing jalopy.

But I'll get there, armed with a Slender Blush wine from Country Heritage Winery in LaOtto, Indiana. Going to have to order some more of it too, since they do ship to Ohio now, but my humble bottle will get me toasty and raring to go for an awesome word sprint.

I do this while juggling time with my nephews, school, work, life, so it's a challenge but I'm not panicking. The 50K words is a chip in the full demand of this story anyway so even if the goal is made, there's much more to do. I may be throwing out a short story anthology, continuations of both of my series, come my mother's birthday, just so I can put out something then. Neither rushing UnHeard too much nor unable to put out something worthwhile.

I only plan on working at Sports Page until the Christmas break before I crack down on my projects full time again. Money is nice, but passion isn't something I find worthwhile to ignore. I don't mind being less affluent in order to delve into my projects fully again.

Ah, as for doll projects, those are being chipped away at, if not in actual work then in acquiring more pieces to make the work possible. I've been, er, collecting more dolls at that. I have three tinies, one medium girl, three large girls and a large boy now, some with plans, some just keeping me salivating with possibilities. I also have a cinnamon toned Nendoroid that I plan on modding to become Dinsch, my rabbit hybrid (Bryfolk) character. I have most of the parts. Just waiting on some gouache paints to start some of these faceups. I was going to do acrylic but I've seen a lot of advice that gouache is a lot easier to work with for a beginner and I am, unquestionably, a beginner in the doll world.

Rienna, the first of them, currently has her garters, dyed bathing suit/leotard and wig done. I have yet to sculpt her armor, make her boots and carve her sword, but I'm being rather fiddly with these parts since I keep looking for advice before diving in, making sure I'm investing in the best pieces before diving in. I have several clays, fabrics, and woods to work with, so if one isn't going well, I'll be able to minimize frustration by hopping to another option.

In any case, I'm off to start an adventure with Linux for a friend, so do wish me luck, if you have it in you. I'm a very busy woman and wouldn't have it any other way!

NaNoWriMo + Job

The past couple NaNo's, I was lucky enough not to have a steady working gig to conflict. This year? Not so much. Last year, I was only working weekends at King's Island through UpShift, but I do Monday, Tuesday and sometimes cover the rest of the week in my current job situation, so it will present a new challenge to my energy levels and patience. I'm really hoping to get on a stimulant after my November 12th appointment to maybe help with focus and energy levels, but the first part of the month may be iffy.

Like most veteran NaNoWri's, I've been at least gathering my pages of notes and preparing to make the start as smooth as possible, but it's a very rough draft I'm playing with and I almost wish there wasn't a draft that I'd pushed out so hastily and aimlessly to begin with. But no writing challenge is impossible for me and it's a story in my hands, not anyone else's, so I do have the power to get it where it needs to be.

In any case, I have a screenplay to dissect for a friend before I do anymore work, either on my notes or my crochet Ezio project for the nephew Dameon, so off I go! It's just been a while since I updated and there will be more to talk about after my hustles are through. Good luck and send some my way as well!

The Struggle, No, The Juggle

I look forward to NaNoWriMo coming up, if only because it seems I need motivation to write or even draw at this point.

Not just because of some struggle, but like the header says, it's the juggle.

If you've followed then you've seen my doll posts have been the most frequent. I've... accumulated quite a bit more than the 'doll' I set out to do. Since starting Project Rienna, I decided to get Talia, a medium sized doll, a tiny... or two or three and there will be a third addition to the big dolls who will be my Lyria from the first series as well.

Dolls seem to be my catharsis from the stress of juggling-- work, my nephews' school year, cat caring insanity, etc. I juggle a lot that has little to do with my hobbies and creative work but nevertheless affects them.

Today, I read another of Antonio's wonderful screenplays, but for the most part, I plan on simply relaxing. Started to sew Rienna's bathing suit, but decided after reading the screenplay, I'd hunker down and watch movies. Welcome to Marwen and Glass are on the roster when I finish this up.

Juggling life, well, IS the struggle and I do still adjust to medications and recently had a root canal that means I'm at a chewing level below a toddler at the moment, but that will get better. Things often have to get worse before they get better. The struggle is about adjusting and learning to not take for granted the good things to come.

So, with all said and done, time to wander off and dream another dream. At the very least, the screenplay inspired me with an idea from the second book of the series that will carry a subplot for the one I currently, or will be, writing. 

UnHeard is a struggling story. Not for lack of ideas or muses or even some creative block, but because I've given the lead character more of my painful and hard to decipher mysteries and fears from my own life. It's hard but necessary to separate my experiences from hers because she can't handle it the way I would and succeed as the person she is, anymore than she could make sense of my life were she the writer of my tale. I don't mean to sound cryptic here, but she is only relative to my experiences and it's not meant to be a memoir or an outlet, just being lent the perspective of my knowledge. I'm not using her to understand or even accept myself. I'm using my own experiences to make a more poignant and insightful story. It's just not one that can pass without taking something out of me.

Anywho, movies. I love to blog for anyone who would read it, but relaxation is still the name of the game after a stressful work week. I should only be working two days this coming week; and hopefully, because I'd like the energy for creative projects, not just some down time.

Be sweet, my babies!

Yo Ho Ho and a Root Canal!

Okay, so it's not as fun as a bottle of rum, but things have changed in the past decade since my last root canal.

There was this spidery kind of drill and the pins took an electronic reading, so it's a bit higher tech than the constant drilling and sticking I remember. Although my first root canal was well done, this one seemed a whole lot less uncomfortable and quicker somehow.

No painkillers though. Thanks, opioid epidemic bullshit. I could use some right about now, but I'll sweat it out with ibuprofen. Fibro has made me a stalwart when it comes to pain and I can play it stoic too. If it's bad enough, my eyes leak and I'll grimace and squeeze my hands. A little whimper maybe.

But I've been busy so I randomly managed to blue-face a doll but that's about it. I know it's not much but working just tires me out and I'm out of shape at the moment. This is a phase in my plans so there will be temporary sacrifices. Nothing new.

Keeping it at that. I'll save the babbling for something more interesting. Love, peace and chicken grease!

Now Loading...

Despite having *most* of what I need to make these custom dolls, there's always something small I've run into near beginning a new step where I'm rushing to place a snail order and it puts yet another project on hold.

While waiting on bias tape, satin fabric, a hand sewing machine, curved needles, etc., it's looking like the first thing to come will be a body suit pattern that I'll be downsizing to fit a doll. Technically not a hard adjustment. It's a 1/3 doll (so 1/3 a standard human height) so the first steps will be to scan the pieces and rescale to 1/3. Dolls tend to be a lot more slender and elongated than standard people though so I'll need to stretch for allowance, making sure I have at least too much that I can trim down later than undercorrect and have to recut fabric and enlarge the pattern. The fabric itself is a 4 way stretch so I don't need a rigid fit, just somewhere around snug once pulled into the doll. I can dust the doll with talcum to make it easier if needed, but I don't want to lose the color and opacity by having it too stretched and bunching anywhere.

I may mess with some air dry clay, but I'm thinking a papier-mâché base may be the best way to start. Clay itself tend to droop while drying or baking so papier-mâché for air dry, armature wire and foil for baking is often the way to go.

We'll see, I guess. Part of what makes crafting so alluring is the challenge leading to those results, good or bad. I always but in excess of what is needed in case the first attempts are less than ideal. And these are the challenges that inspire all other creative endeavors. It's not books on writing or drawing or craft or character development or conversation, it's the doing, the unique perspective I can give through trial and error.

So I continue.

Full Size to Doll Size

The pattern for the catsuit came today, so it seems like a great time to go into details again...

First, I had to scan the pieces on my office printer which is the equivalent of trying to scan tablecloths made of tissue paper. About 25 pieces. Twice. There were two. The catsuit makes sizes 16-24 in women's sizes so a bit on the larger side of things as well. So once that's done comes the piecing together. I saved them as jobs and the next step is simpler than it could be. Because I've set up my Actions for this in a prior project.

From Actions, I made a set that turns sketches into transparencies, leaving only the lines. From there, I'll command-T the pieces to drag and turn them into the completed pattern. Then will come the basic resizing and printing to cut the pieces.

I'm going to see them as is then take them in on the doll. Loose baste with a temporary thread, flip through, sew, liberate the temporary threads, cut excess fabric and it should be good to go.

Hours and hours of work but I'm eager to see how I do with the plan. I have plenty of fabric to make mistakes with so no worries. Just frustration and eventually triumph. 

One can hope.

Wig Quest

Didn't think I was done going on the quest for making the perfect wig, did ya?

Okay, not really 'perfect'. Perfection is an idea I rightfully murdered long ago. The best for my ideals is plenty, but I digress.

Came up with this:

Well, these. The first came out taller than I wanted and a little shabby at the part. I've since hot glued the part a bit more flush, but she's going end up with some sort of crown to cover the mess. As for the redhead, it did turn out beautifully, but I originally intended it to just be bangs and a ponytail. The seams were too visible so I ended up laying braids over the spot I didn't like. Turned out very well, even if it wasn't what I set out for.

What's next? Well, I said 'quest', so that's not all I had in mind.

I bought some pre sewn wig caps to sew wefts. I've seen some interesting tutorials on blanket stitching wefts and using a hand sewing machine, so naturally, I ordered what I need for both to try at a later date. AliExpress can be slow but it's worth it to buy crafts there. Amazon overcharges and I'm just not a brick and mortar shopper.

Resting for the remainder of the day since I work the next couple of days but more projects to come!

Wig Sadomasochism

So I finished one wild woman's wig...

Though it's longer than the source pic, the color and style are absolutely perfect, so I'm thrilled it turned out so well.

But it didn't end there...

Oh no.

Because I wasn't done punishing synthetic hair wefts while being beaten by glue. So I started another. This time, I have sewn the first row underneath and around. Many finger stabs. Then I coated the top with silicone and spun the hair wefts onto the silicone like a pottery wheel.

I have no actual clue how it will turn out. Once it dries, I'm poking a hole in the leftover space, jamming hair through to iron down and cover the remaining wefts, and beseeching the universe to reward my insanity. Will it work?

Pics or it didn't happen! Stay tuned!

Not a Bad Day

So today was more about working than crafting, but we made good money at the restaurant and managed to make a busy short-handed day a productive one.

As for crafting, I was able to finish the wig cap for my 1/4 girl, but the 1/3 girl's wig is still drying as of now. I'll likely go ahead and finish it up after work tomorrow. I work every day this week but I'd still like to sneak in some crafting.

I haven't mentioned this before but I also do some conservative investing on a site/app called Acorns. It takes whatever money you want to put up, daily, weekly, or monthly and invests it in stocks, bonds,  etc. based on your selected risk. You can also do Round-Ups, a feature that lets you take transactions and round them up to the nearest dollar and they'll let you invest that money from your checking/savings account once you reach $5 increments. Since I do a lot of micro transactions, I have it turned off, but you can set it to round and take the money out automatically. It's a great way to either save for retirement or just put aside money for holidays.

So I've got my little balance going of classic hard work, mixed in with the just as hard but fulfilling work of crafting. Writing and drawing are still elusive, my muse on vacation there, but I know she'll come back with plenty of it for those aspects. I can't exactly put a harness on my creative outlets but they flow like a thundering waterfall when the time comes.

I look forward to seeing what the week has to offer and am anxious to put forth the effort for those bigger goals. More doll tutorials to come, but I'm trying to wait until I have some substantial finds rather than breaking them all up. As a little side note, while I haven't found the perfect glue, im getting better at utilizing them. Whatever didn't cooperate tacky glue wise, I plan on patching with hot glue. I may go ahead and finish the large wig with some hot glue, since those affix to the underside and I'll be flattening that out with a patch anyway. Good stuff all around, I think.

Glue, Yarn, and Madness

Crafting!

Fucking crafting...

I love it, all trials be damned, because successes are as big as the obstacles. Today, I did exactly what I hoped to do.

Sort of.

I started by making a wig cap for the new 1/4 girl I don't really have plans for yet. No sweat, just the usual glue and power mesh.

Then came Rienna's wig.

I love/hate it. Insofar, I've yet to find a glue that doesn't piss me off for wefting but sewing wouldn't exactly be easy either. With the tacky glue, ugh, it just never wants to hold right away so I've taken to just squirting a bunch of glue down, waiting about a half hour for it to firm a bit then sticking the hair on, just so I'm not playing weft chicken as they try to slither away from the wet glue. E6000 was not better. I've yet to figure out how to keep that bitch from oozing away when not in use. I managed, over the course of the day, to get the wefts on until the hair's off-center part so I'm leaving it to dry and I'll tackle it again tomorrow after work.

Crochet... What. The hell. Did I do. With the rest of the polyfill? I'll have to buy some more anyway, but I once again hid it from myself so I've yet to finish the cupcake. So on to the Ezio plushie. Wonderful world of flying by the seat of my pants. Masochist... I crocheted eyelash yarn into a crocheted head to make facial hair. Looks fantastic, total pain in the ass. Then I started sculpting the neck, body and an arm. Again, looking great, but yarn sculpting is one of those things where you kind of hold your breath and hope you don't fuck up. I haven't, so far, and I can undo mistakes, but that doesn't make it less precarious.

So yes, productive day, and hoping for more of those this week. Writing? Drawing? Who knows? I rather like this thing I do where I'm just working on what I'm in the mood for. And there's always something. ADHD is a mental playground. Mixed with talent, it's a whole carnival. Or circus. Either way, it's a wild ride full of imagination, anxiety and victory. I'll run with it.

Craft Mojo

It would be amazing if craft mojo was something I could summon on command. Artists, writers, creatives in general, all face a sort of on-demand attitude from people who... Well, aren't creatives. Okay, we're ALL kind of creatives but there are certain types of creativity that are inevitably wishy-washy. Writing nonfiction is about gathering facts while writing fiction requires tapping into a fickle world that sometimes isn't bridging the gap into something translatable. Web design is using a visual space while sculpting is about manipulating a physical space, and depending on whether you're using a source or pre made assets, there lies the difference between organizing or creating original content from imagination. Imagination isn't really a wholly logical space that can be harnessed. Nor should it. Part of the thrill is the slippery, wild chase to catch it.

Inevitably, what is drawn from imagination sometimes get jumbled for me. It doesn't dry up or burn out, it just comes gushing like a waterfall and I'm standing at the bottom with a goldfish net. Often, I play with a lot of snippets before I expand all at once, able to start producing with insane efficiency.

Which is why giving advice has always felt tenuous, or like I was giving recipes with no way to list the ingredients. I've got my craft mojo, so I feel like I want to describe it but I can't. It just means over the past week, my goldfish net traded up. I'm probably catching mid-sized sharks but that's a good sign. The burgeoning ambition was simply a sign I'd been in the throes of mania. It really wasn't that good for me in the long term.

In any case, I started crocheting a cupcake for my friend's daughter's birthday and an Ezio plushie for my nephew. Yesterday it was a small yellow flower shaped dress for a small doll. Tomorrow...

Well, I can tell you what I'd like it to be. I'd love to work up a swimsuit and wig for my doll project, keep working on the crochet I started. I'm not in the headspace for writing. Right now, that part is a stream, frozen on the surface, rushing beneath. Ideally, the ice will crackle and slough away in time, but I'm not looking for it to be the rushing river. 

That place was too much an obsession, too much a diversion to pull me from pain. When I first started to slam through writing, it was a way to salve the grief of too much loss piling up. Once I healed those wounds, the writing itself had masked too many bad habits picked up. My health started another decline and I had to face that there are aspects of myself I'm blind to and I needed help to get back on track.

Don't look for a secret to creative mojo. Just understand there may be some intuitive signal that there is something else needing attention. You will find you are more productive over time, more thoughtful with what you produce, if you listen to those urges that go ignored. Now, I'm not talking some serial killer urge. Lock that way the fuck up. But if you've got some voice saying you suck at self-care, maybe take a breath and listen a little more closely.

You Don't Have to Understand to Accept, But...

Usually, 'but' is a word that isn't good news... But stick with me for a second here...

... Maybe I can help you understand a lot about what Americans are going through at the moment.

Maybe you've seen an attractive guy wearing the latest make-up trend, wings and lip liner and brows on fleek. Maybe that person who looks like a girl wants to be called non-binary. From fashion to identity to status to personality, some people are just confusing your conditioned norms.

And it's okay. I was confused and frustrated too. However, there's a way I came to apply these differences and not just to the superficial. You can apply this to religion, politics, race, immigration status, etc. 

As an artist, there have been times where people have said 'why make this, when you can make that?' I heard phrases like this applied to what I wear, how often I shave, and so on. Why would I make these choices when someone else has a better idea? Well, why would I? Why would I change what makes me happy, what also makes some other people happy, simply because what works for you seems like the easier or more accepted choice? Why not write a formulaic best seller or sell your hobby work or have more acceptable hobbies?

I believe you know the answer. That isn't who I am. It doesn't make me happy. I can't make everyone happy. My work is something that only I can decide the merit of, in terms of time, self-worth, confidence... An artist doesn't want to be stuck doing work that doesn't align with their interests. It's soulless and it's depressing. In that same way, people make much harder decisions when they could have it 'easier'. They could give up that wonderful buzz in their head that lights up their face, puts a bounce in their step, lets them hold their head up and keeps them productive.

The reality is that we never have to truly understand what someone else is going through to accept it. We simply need to apply the choices we make to be happy to their situation. It's not idyllic, making those choices. Artists struggle, immigrants fear their protection can be revoked, transsexuals fight to decide how healthy a transition would be, non-binaries sometimes want to be specifically male or female as they walk through society, gay people let homophobes think they're straight even once they've come out. There are times where we're all tested and have to take steps back in a world struggling to accept or refusing to accept what is their norm.

If you don't 'get it', you don't have to force it. But ask yourself if one of the reasons you're stubborn to change is because you've too often sacrificed happiness or avoided knowing what you want because you made that 'easier choice'. Maybe you've worked the same job you hate for 20 years. Maybe your fixation on the scientific definition of gender makes you refuse to accept that gender identity as a choice is about whether societal roles fit someone who simply feels more comfortable with male or female roles. Maybe you're clinging to the fragile belief that your sacrifices have to mean something or you've wasted too much of your life trying to be accepted.

I'm not judging people who have closeted themselves in their beliefs in their life. I just ask you not to be so quick to wish your struggles on someone else. Let people be pioneers and advocates of the life they want for themselves. Maybe stop seeing people you don't understand as part of some problem and simply accept that their optimism doesn't mean their lives are any easier. Don't convince yourself that they're doing it wrong just because the world hasn't instantly changed, that they aren't instantly successful, that other people's refusal to accept them means they're wrong.

Take some time to pioneer your own attitude and, even in secret, begin to accept or even champion those who dare to be different. Once you open your heart to something new, you might even find some small way to inspire your own happiness. You might start spitting out those bitter seeds to taste the sweet fruit.

Where Were You on 9/11?

I hate to day but the whole 'always remember, never forget' parade that occurs every time this day rolls around each year have always been irritating. There are now legal adults who weren't even born or were just born when the tragedy happened.

Believe me, no one has forgotten who was old enough to witness it, but the nose in the air clouding the sentiment is stale.

But where was I? My mom woke me up with a phone call just before 9 AM, crying her eyes out and telling me to turn it on Channel 19. This was back before digital channels and the local stations were 5, 9, 12, 19 and 64. Seconds after I did, I saw, on live TV, people on fire leaping to their death from the Twin Tower windows. Fuck's sake, it was nothing like the movies and I felt the piercing shock and disgust that someone was standing there filming this real-life horror, these last desperate moments of civilians.

It was visceral, it was terrifying. No, we'll never forget, but at the same time, I kind of wish people would stop the posturing and dick-measuring as to how much more it affected this person or that and how remembering stops these things from happening.

It doesn't. At least have the decency to admit you're just parading this shit show of humanity.

Because some people watched it and felt what I felt. I didn't feel it more or less. Some people watched it and were probably cheering or masturbating, etc. Yeah, that's absolutely terrible, but that's the price we pay to be human. What religion touts as free will, what psychology calls a spectrum, what scientists understand as our inherent nature. It's not always pretty and we're not so enlightened that large groups of us don't still get together and do terrible things. Some people live through terrible things and want to do terrible things to others. Some people live through terrible things and decide they want to protect others from ever going through that or at least be there to help them recover.

I don't know where you were, or if you were alive yet, for that horrible day. But I hope you look at history and decide to be on better side of it. I hope that you can even be ignorant of history and still know that harming others is always on the wrong side of humanity. If you remember anything, then don't forget to treat your fellow humans like they are capable of feeling and desiring just as deeply as you. Strive for virtue on your own quests for happiness.

BJD Clothes: Swimsuit Part 1

This one might get broken up over time a bit, but I'll keep the tags going so they can be found easily.

For this one, I just took a PDF of a bathing suit I found and put it together in Illustrator then modified it. Rienna's body piece has three panels, dark blue on the sides of her body, light blue in the middle. The pattern I found only did the split panel in the front so I took the back pieces, split them and redrew them as separate pieces. It ended up looking something like this:

This, but with the right piece split.

Insofar, I've only cut the pattern pieces, pinned the pattern to the fabric and cut the pieces, so I can't show a finished product just yet. What comes next is a matter of fussing and altering to get the benefit of the stretchy fabric I'm using, as well as any difference between a doll's torso and the design being made for an actual person. I edited out the chest lining and I'm not using the piece at the top of the pattern either, the bottom lining, since a lining in a doll bathing suit is both way too extra and would deform the streamlined look I'm going for. The fabric I'm using is semi-transparent so if there's too much show-through, I do have a solid suit pattern and can reinforce it with a different fabric.

I guess, just in review, I can at least list off what else I have planned for the outfit. Plan may change but for now, the shoulder guards, breastplate, and hip plates will be modeled out of clay (trying both baking and air dry varieties). The sword may similarly be a clay sculpt, but I have decided on that yet. A cape with neck draping is probably the simplest element, to be done with blue velvet. I'm also making thigh high boots with rubber soles. As for the adornments to her outfit, I have an assortment of rhinestones and pearls so that part will just be on a whim. Also, still working on the wig, but I need to order more glue.

I'm also planning Talia, but so far, I've only planned her scarves, leotard and hair. Her design is meant to be simple but stunning, all fiery colors with only her eyes the hottest part of the flame- blue! I'm anxious to see it done, but in no hurry to throw it together since patience and precision is far more important than haste.

Will I be selling these? I've already been asked, but no, not my 'prototypes'. Once I'm confident in the build, I may be up for selling some customs, but for now, call this one purely a hobby. I tried to rush into making a business out of crochet and it nearly crushed my love for it. Having people back out and haggle and nag has made me seriously think out how I will sell my art and to whom. I keep my selling circle very small, limited to those who truly appreciate and understand the time and talent that goes into a great piece. I earned the right to call my work professional and one can call it arrogance, but let them. Hand-crafted pieces are treasures and the prices are a motivation to treat them all the more irreplaceable. Expect to pay a living wage for any craft you obtain.

In any case, I'll get to more blogging as I get it done. Hope you'll find it helpful or just enjoy the updates to the process!

Doll Addiction

It's pretty clear I have a doll addiction. Although I also have a miniature addiction, the doll part runs big and small; I love the potential in all of them!

This is just a quick post to share my latest acquisition; a customizable Nendoroid!

She came with the name Emily, but she'll likely take on a lot of names as I vary the outfits and look. For now, welcome 'Emily' to my collection!

Making a BJD Wig Part 3

Forgive my lackluster picture taking skill on this gloomy day, but let's start with where I ended up on the last wig...

As you can see, there's still some work to do to finish the braids and style, but it did hold together. I ended up hot-gluing the braids but tacky glue would have driven me up a wall...

But enough about that one!

I've started doing the first of the big ones. This time around, I'm actually sewing in the first row on the underside of the cap. This will make it so if the hair is gathered, there won't be any visible hair around the cap edges.

So for this one you need:

• Sharp scissors
• Synthetic wefts
• Saran wrap
• Clover Black and Gold needles
• Thread (go with either white or one to match the hair)
• Glue (tacky or hot glue or whatever you prefer)
• Rubber bands
• Wig cap

This is assuming you have a wig cap made from before. I'm using the harder tacky glue one I made since it's much easier to pierce a needle through it.

I specified Clover Black and Gold needles for a reason. These tiny evil samurai swords will pierce through anything. And yes, they slip through skin like it's made of Jello so be careful.

Cut the first weft the length of the bottom neck base to start.

You don't have to be a seamstress and no one is going to see these stitches so just line the weft up, about 1\8 from the bottom on the underside and do a running stitch into the area between the two stitches anchoring the hairs in the weft. Running is a simple through the front to back, back to front stitch.

Now because I'm doing an off center part, I'm going to use a diagram to show how i mapped the head for this one. The hair will be glued on accordingly, but I think I'm going to go for the E6000 on this one. I didn't mention it before but it's an industrial glue that I'm familiar with so I know how it works out. What makes it a favorite is that it's a quick grip but a slow cure. So it holds on contact but you can nudge things around. It doesn't fully cure for 24 hours, but it does hold tight about an hour or less after setting. It's a bit messy, like hot glue, but you can touch it and it does wipe right off of skin. You can always opt to use a paint brush or wooden stick to smear it on like tacky glue though.

I'm going to have to treat you to yet another of my diagrams to kind of explain how the off-center wig will work.

It's very similar to the braid wig at first, just laying down rows of wefts until you reach the crown. On the crown, you'll have made a cut line, which I wouldn't bother actually cutting until the bottom hair is dry and you can lift the wig off of the head/stand again. Go ahead and lay out vertical rows that radiate away from the cut line, but leave about a 1/8" edge away from it. Once those are dry, go ahead and lift the wig from the base and carefully make the cut.

You're actually going to lay the next wefts with the sewn edge on the inside with the hair radiating outside the wig. Hot glue might be a bit too puffy, but if you want the quick glue, you can go for it, just carefully smear it down with a wooden stick. When you're ready to seal it back, the best solution is to use a piece of power mesh made the same way as the wig, one large enough to cover the hair and affix to the underside of the wig there and glue it in securely to hold the part together.

Since this is just a play by play that I haven't finished yet, there isn't a picture to go with it (yet), but I'll be back once that's done to say how it went. I'm nervous because I've actually got to cut/style this one, since the hair I'm going for is short and wavy, but I'll study up on that before I take the plunge.

I hope you found this helpful! Stay tuned for pics and possibly a start on the next wig, which will involve a ponytail and bangs.

Making BJD Wigs Part 2

I'll be adding pictures later, so if you're reading this early, you'll see some placeholders instead.

First off, my favorite of the wig cap experiments is... Power mesh with tacky glue and a layer of silicone sealant underneath. It's this wig cap that I started my first foray into hair wefting.

I used these premade synthetic hair wefts:

Aliexpress.com

Along with Saran Wrap, rubber bands and tacky glue. I also had a pair of bent tip tweezers to do some holding of the wefts.

But I'm already telling you; I'm going to do hot glue for the next one because the tacky glue just didn't hold the wefts very quickly so I did a lot of holding them into place until I was sure they'd hold enough to move to the next row.

Although I cut the long weft as I went, you may find it easier to precut the pieces ahead of time. For this wig, I did straight rows that began a gradual curve as they neared the crown. The rough edges meet where the bangs end and, to cover that, I am gluing in a braid over those edges (with hot glue).

To start, it's the regular drill of securing Saran Wrap to the base or head you're using. The wig cap goes over that.

The easiest way to describe the wefting is with a diagram I drew. The wavy lines are the row I built from the base of the neck to the crown. The jagged lines are the top head fillers. The dots are rows for bangs. The number of rows isn't a precise count but it gives you an idea of how the wefts were paid to build shape and cover the head.

I squeezed the glue in lines directly onto the cap and just laying the wefts carefully in place and holding them as needed...

So far I've only gotten everything glued down. I placed another piece of Saran Wrap, secured with a rubber band to both secure the last rows and keep anything from sticking to it while drying. We'll see if that was a good idea or not when it comes time to remove it and secure the braid. More pictures to come as I finish it up and see what I end up with. I don't expect a first try to be stellar but I've been open to the learning process coming with a few failures.

Be back with the results!

Making BJD Wigs Part 1.5?

While digging through some craft bins, I came across what was left of some GE Clear Silicone Sealant and some cheap nylon wig caps so I'm running some more experiments. I used one of my smaller, much cheaper heads to lay out some of the sealant on power mesh. Not only did it only take a few hours to dry completely, but it peeled right off of the Saran Wrap and doesn't slide around on the head. However it is stretchy, which may or may not be ideal for all styles and I don't know if other glue will adhere to silicone. The package makes it clear that you can't paint on the sealant. It may be possible to use more of the sealant to weft hair, but it's very thick and could get messy. Silicone tends to only adhere to other silicone, if that, but more experiments to come...

Currently waiting for the nylon stocking/silicone one to dry to see how it holds up with material even thinner than power mesh. Even if these don't work well for working with wefts, they look like they might be a cheap fix for non-skid caps under the wig anyway.

This isn't a formal addition to the tutorials, just some brain-picking thoughts since it's always good to look for alternatives that can be used for a multitude of projects. 

That being said, the power mesh/tacky glue ones turned out great. I slipped a silicone cap onto the head and the wig cap I made was able to fit on snugly over that. Which looks like it would be the best solution for a heavier updo wig since it doesn't slide around easily once settled on. Next up will be some wefting tests on the silicone, see if we can get it to cooperate as a wig or not.

Making BJD Wigs Part One

It's been a while since I've blogged; not for any particular reason, just work and the boys starting school and time slipping by. But today, I started the process of making doll wigs so, as promised, I wanted to share the process.

I began making wig caps for my 1/3 Bomelon heads. This will work for any size head, but let's start with the supplies I'm using.

• Power mesh fabric (white or the skin tone of the head--you'll find this at craft stores and it's basically the stretchy material you find in swimsuits)
• Aleene's Turbo Tacky glue (you can use silicone based glues to make a nonskid wig, but I have silicone wig caps to do that. Wig caps are available on AliExpress)
• Rubber bands (any size is fine but make sure they fit snugly without over or under stretching)
• Popsicle sticks (some people like to use a throwaway paint brush, but I'll get into why I prefer these instead)
• Saran Wrap (you can use cheaper plastic wrap but I like the self stick properties of this brand)
• Doll head on the body or wig stand with the right dimensions

To start, tear off a piece of Saran Wrap large enough to cover the entire head. Drape it on as close to the head as possible, pulling it to the back and twisting it. You may choose to secure it further with a rubber band around the neck. 

Pull the power mesh fabric over the protected head or stand and secure with a rubber band from the base of the head to just over the bridge of the nose. Pull it as tautly as possible under the band. If there are any wrinkles, try to pull them towards the back of the head. Even with very strong glue, lumps at the hairline are difficult to disguise but usually unnoticeable at the back.

Begin spreading the glue liberally but not so thick that it starts to run. I like to use a Popsicle stick because it doesn't pull glue out of the fine mesh holes and I make about a one inch line on the stick, which covers more area. You'll want the glue to cover at least an inch past where you think you might draw the hairline.

Let dry overnight. Some impatient people attempt it 'when it dries' only to discover the underside near the plastic is sopping wet. You won't want to compromise the shape by peeling it off when not completely dry.

So I'll have to let it dry overnight. once it does, I'll peel it away from the plastic. Then, I'll place new plastic over the doll heads, replacing the cap and drawing the hair line with a fabric marker (otherwise known as a dressmaker's pen). The cap will be removed and I'll trim the wig into shape with fabric scissors.

After that, the fun will begin with wefting! For the first wig I'm doing, I'll be using synthetic wavy medium brown hair, about 15 cm in length, with a center part. I buy the wefts from AliExpress. It is recommended to use 3 100cm sets for a 1/3 head, so you'll likely only need two for a 1/4 head and one for 1/6 heads. That one is a bit tricky to simply describe so I'll try to take photos for example when I begin wefting.

The other wig I'm doing will be long, flaming red hair that will both have bangs and a ponytail, so I've had to research styling on those. Some people weft it for permanence, but I'd like a wig with more flexibility.

For gluing wigs, you can use the tacky glue or go with hot glue. You may not want to do hot gluing directly on your doll head without first protecting it with heat absorbent material or making sure the amount of heat can't warp or distort it. I'll be sticking with the tacky glue.

I'm not rushing into this project, so I can't promise daily posts, but they'll be properly tagged to find them easily when they're up. 

For those wondering why you might DIY wig caps rather than buy them pre made, I'll just add this. Unless you want a very standard shape, you need a nonstandard cap and a DIY lets you control features like mohawks, widow's peaks, sideburns etc. Depending on how complex the style, you'll want to work out which wefting techniques will let you hide how and where the hair is rooted.

See you on the next installment!