Do you ever realize that you probably have one or two or ten life hacks floating around in your brain but they’re just so random that you never think to actually compile them? Okay, that’s everyone, but I do have two in particular I decided to share because I remember Googling solutions (are we still saying that?) more than once and my particular solutions are kind of absent from all of them.
Which basically means, yes, try them yourselves at your own risk but I have done these multiple times and they do work for me at least. Take from that what you will.
First… those painful swollen taste buds. Searches always say saltwater rinse (blech), apply ice, hydrate, keep moist, etc. So when you hear my solution, you’ll wonder how the hell that landed… here goes. Stick out your tongue between your teeth and lips, wipe the saliva from the area with your fingers or just air dry and… wait. Drying the tip of your tongue feels super weird but you’ll notice the painful taste bud actually becomes less sensitive as it dries. I usually leave it out like this for as long as I can stand it (usually no more than 10-15 minutes) then I go ahead and moisten my tongue again, drink water, make sure it feels normal then repeat if it still bothers me.
I’ve never had to do it more than twice but instead of days of avoiding and wincing, the swelling and sensitivity is gone in less than a day. My little theory here is that drying actually works to starve and desensitize it while also keeping the dark moist environment from irritating it. I still go easy on it and make sure I keep up with dental hygiene but usually after a nap or sleep, it’s gone. Keep in mind I also do not have chronic dry mouth issues or any condition where this could cause problems. I actually stumbled across this because I have the tendency to ‘pick’ or relentlessly agitate wounds/scabs/bruises if I don’t find a way to isolate them. Tongues are tricky because they want to constantly move about. I’ve been in states where I really need to focus so I ended up putting my tongue in ‘timeout’ and momentarily forgetting about it to where it dried out and realizing it was significantly less sensitive and distracting after doing so. So since I remember weird details like that, I just started doing it every time and there was a clear pattern. If you’re prone to swollen taste buds, you may want to see if this cuts down on the healing time like it does for me!
The second one is plantar wart removal. I had one of these suckers when I was working at Petco and nothing worked. I didn’t have health insurance at the time so seeing a doctor wasn’t going to happen so I was getting a bit desperate. I tried the usual; duct tape, clear nail polish, paring (slicing off the dead erupted skin with a sharp sterile knife), wart removal pads and freezing kits. While the freezing kits gave me the best temporary relief, this sucker was persistent. So what worked? This one isn’t entirely outside of advice but it wasn’t this specific. I used a combination of paring and opaque nail polish. To start, you’ll want to pare the erupted part to the level of the skin around it. Do NOT try to dig in. You can do some serious permanent damage and a keloid scar can be more painful than a plantar wart so go ONLY to the skin level. You may or may not see a black ‘seed’ in the wart. Don’t be tempted to fish it out. I’ll explain why as we go. Once you do get to skin level, clean the area again and make sure it’s completely dry then use an opaque or dark colored nail polish to dab and smooth a thin layer, let it dry, then apply one or two more thin layers. Don’t do it thickly thinking you’ll save time. It won’t dry right and it won’t stay put, both of which are crucial. Then just leave it alone up until the pain comes back or the nail polish comes off. You may notice that the wart’s seed is closer to the surface. This is something I noticed myself but again, don’t be tempted to dig it out. You need it to keep rising naturally as this is a sign that your body is helping to reject it. Again, pare the skin carefully only to the surface and repeat the steps of cleaning and applying new nail polish (make sure you are sterilizing the knife and the skin each time; also you really shouldn’t be using either the knife or the nail polish for any other purpose so it’s best to use an old nail polish you intend to throw out or one that you don’t love and don’t mind getting rid of).
Though I spent months with the other treatments failing, this one slowly but completely resolved the issue noticeably in a little over a week and three parings. By the third or fourth paring, I didn’t need to apply nail polish again; the seed scraped off with the paring and the relief was almost immediate. The skin looked healthy and new and pink, like baby skin, so I cleaned it up, applied an unscented moisturizer and that was that. No scarring, no infection, no need for expensive solutions after all. But again, everything affects each of us differently so this may be a terrific solution for you or you’ll just need to try other options. This one was one where I was able to still work on my feet without pain and the return of pain was an easy indicator to give it attention again. There were 2-3 days in between needing to treat it. You can shower normally (I wouldn’t bathe because it could over moisten the skin and polish) just don’t scrub or you’ll need to wait for your skin to dry completely to repaint it. I definitely had a smoother time of paring after a shower but I wouldn’t do it while the skin is still very wet either. Paring seems to be more controllable when the skin is a little tough.
Again, I don’t know exactly why the color nail polish worked so much better; it could be the formulation or it could be blocking the light itself that brought the virus/damage/etc closer to the surface (maybe ‘blinding’ it from thinking it was more secure than it was?). I don’t know the exact science but I do think the the adherence but temporary quality of the polish allowed me to be more sensitive to when it was time to treat it again without irritating the skin around it or letting moisture in. Duct tape is probably operating on the same theory but the padding could desensitize the needs and tape can definitely hurt the skin or trap moisture more.
I’m adding that if you don’t want to contaminate the nail polish or do away with it, use the included brush to put some on a folded up piece of paper (so it doesn’t soak through) and then use a q-tip/cotton swab to apply it. A cotton swab actually does a really good job of making sure the application is thin each time too.
I used a floral paring knife that was rarely used and always kept cleaning. Please look up how to pare skin properly. I did it similarly to cutting fruit where you grip the knife with your fingers, placing my thumb out of the way on the edge of the foot but pressing the fingers toward the thumb parallel to the skin. You may have to change the technique based on the location and your ability to reach it. Don’t pare it yourself or trust anyone with it if the confidence isn’t there. I’ve been lancing my own abscesses and other things other people let doctors do for years but I’ve also always done due diligence in proper procedure. Feel free to ask about the time I drained an enormous cyst on my cheek, flattened keloid scars or filed corns. Very doable if they haven’t advanced to infection.
If you have found some off the wall or specific procedure you feel that the internet overlooked, feel free to share! It’s definitely irresponsible to pass off personal advice as something people should blindly trust but if you feel you have a hidden gem that might work for someone but are hesitant that it might end up another TikTok disaster in the wrong hands, you’re still in good company with me, and it might inspire discussion on why it works and who might be more successful with it. In other words, one of the reasons why the Internet could still be a useful space!
Share in comments or drop me a message/email. It might inspire a future post!
