Nowadays, it's not unusual to see the occasional 'sensitivity reader'. Yet in the same vein where people try to tiptoe around racism, sexism, bigotry, etc., there's something about the idea of those with a disability needing to be tiptoed around that doesn't sit right with me either.
The problem is, communities still try to represent way too many people who have every right not to agree. I, for one, have never liked using 'autism' as the label for one of my life's challenges, yet on Quora, I saw another high-functioning woman claim that she wants to be called autistic. Just like asexuality, it is affected by biases that often plague a spectrum that can't be clearly defined. I do prefer high-functioning, if anything at all, because 99 times out of 100, people wanting to use it at all to describe me, it's generally not positive. Yes, when it's relevant, talk openly, but if you're apologizing for me by explaining that to someone. Like on Family Guy when Peter was tested 'legally retarded', it was a pass both for him being perverted and unambitious.
Retarded isn't a dirty word for me either. My dad hates it and mainly because it was used to hurt his little sister who had Down's Syndrome. I love my Aunt Shari and if anyone used that word for her, I'd fuck up their world, but when used in the context of just people who are willfully stupid, I had no problem with it. I'm the same with 'gay' and 'lame', both words that have many meanings that have jackshit to do with people. You're welcome to call me a 'cunt' if you like, because name-calling itself is generic to me. You'd really have to dig deep on a personal wound to get that to work.
Not every disabled person sees their condition as a crutch. In fact, many disabilities have workarounds, schools and businesses have been addressing them in a way that doesn't create pandering or elephant in the room situations. With any particular challenge comes people who view it differently. Some people do feel sorry for themselves, some people hate it mentioned at all. It's always ridiculous to assume there's a safe zone. People will be sensitive even when you think you have the safest middle ground.
I do write what you might consider disabled characters. The only thing I don't do is point it out directly. Why? Because I'm not using it as a teachable moment. I don't want to turn their life into a Web MD entry, just be as honest as I can be about what they might go through. I don't know if researching real world problems is really necessary for fantasy either. To do so would assume the same advantages and disadvantages exist there. Instead, I try to challenge how they might face those challenges in their worlds.
There is certainly a place for accuracy in fantasy yet a writer should never feel restricted to it. Some do want to cover their ass with a disclaimer that it's a mix of research and artistic liberty (already a given if it's fiction, in my opinion). One thing I like to ask myself throughout is whether I am using it naturally or whether I am turning it into tokenism. One of the issues about chasing after sensitivity is, in some attempts to be accurate and sympathetic, you too often run into a sort of bubble. InItrying to treat that character with dignity, you are pushed into making them invincible and therefore risking making them less human after all.
Sometimes teachable moments work for stories too. I was rewatching one of my childhood favorite movies yesterday (Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves) and there's that girl that comes up to Morgan Freeman's Azeem and asks him why God painted him and he told her Allah loves variety. I think what makes a lot of the exposition work for that movie is the fact that it's brief but effective in forming quick relationships between such a huge cast of characters. Look also at Duncan, who's a bit of a dick like much of the Locksley household before Robin leaves for the war, but when he is blinded, he becomes more considerate and feeble. At no point did I think that was simply from the condition of being blind. He was starving, the injury was caused by violence and trauma and he is not a young man. They don't nurse these characters' differences, but we see through the actions and environment the advantages and disadvantages they carry.
When I look for 'sensitivity' I don't find it sensitive to look for a disabled person to speak for their whole community. Just like when I create any character, I try to observe and research these issues from a broad and narrow point of view. There are thousands upon thousands of people who have already told their stories and even someone who can be as literal as me doesn't need to bluntly ask anyone what is widely available already. It's just as lazy as people who ask those condescending questions to atheists like 'what if hell is real?' Q&A sites literally have thousands of this same question answered by millions of people and it still gets asked. Dialogue can be a great way to hear the opinion side of things, but often, the tone of people asking about sensitivity readers is often lacking the confidence to question the reader at all for fear of offending them. Truly, that would defeat the purpose.
If it's important for you as a writer to be seen as sensitive as possible, go for it. Disclaimers, interviewing medical doctors for authenticity, 50 sensitivity beta readers-- knock yourself out. However, most efforts AREN'T done with being a total shithead in mind. If the characters are being shitheads to each other, this doesn't mean the author is a shithead. Some stories have to crawl under our skin and feel all sandpaper-y, to convey insensitivity to create the intended results, to do a lot of unpleasant things to make the good and profound more triumphant.
Or you picked up a grimdark fantasy and that's your own damn fault for not knowing gloom and doom is the whole damn point.
You are probably going to notice my 'disabled' characters without any help. You're going to cringe when you know something that can hurt them that the character doing it doesn't. That's just how life is and it doesn't need theme music or a diatribe. A narrator can even purposely mislead you with a bias then surprise you with how the character defies it. Triumphs can be singular and we won't always have the strength or willpower to repeat them. We have good days and bad. All of us.
Anecdote time then I'll wander off. I was hanging out with my stepsister and her boyfriend at the time in a hotel room. I don't rightly remember all the dumb shit we were doing that night, but it involved hitting the stop button while jumping on the elevator and alcohol. In any case, we'd gotten a bag of popcorn from thin air (I really have no idea where the hell we got it but it's important) and my SS and I were going back down to the lobby, probably for more elevator high-jumping and another bucket of ice. I toss her boyfriend the bag of popcorn and he asked how long to put it in the microwave for. I told him it says on the package and he got pissed and threw it on the bed.
No clue why until I laughed about it on the way down and my SS had those pie-plate eyes that also knew something I did not. Turns out her boyfriend was illiterate. I still didn't get it. The large numbers on the package literally exactly match the keypad so it was still a stupid thing to get mad about. This particular experience is why the modern PC bullshit tends to grind on my nerves. There are way too many people who have a chip on their shoulder over something a perfect stranger would never know unless YOU FUCKING TELL THEM. I get that you don't want to wear a sign. Yet if someone fucks up where you are the rare exception to a general rule, getting pissed instead of just casually saying it really just makes YOU the dick. Not them for slipping up on your invisible rules. In my case,I tend to run into huggers. Huggers are sunny people and I don't begrudge than that but they hurt me every time. Rather than get offended because they don't know I have days where my clothes feel too heavy let alone withstand hugs, I wince and tell them flat out. No, I don't want to preface every introduction with a laundry list of problems. But because someone doesn't know, I can't be mad that they were trying to ingratiate me as a friend.
Invisible illnesses are their own challenge and it's why you don't treat them like physical differences. Asking a fat person why they bought two seats is a dick move. Asking a one armed stranger if they need a hand might be a dick move (although the missing limb crowd are about 50/50 on a sense of humor about it). Asking an illiterate person to make popcorn? Not a criminal offense. Over time, I've learned to just risk offending someone and apologizing and explaining my error.
As an example, working at Petco, I ran into a little girl who was really excited about cats and she was talkative and adorable. It was near Halloween so I asked her what she wanted to dress as. I didn't notice her dad was there and heard him laughing, but he very calmly told me they were Muslim and didn't celebrate Halloween. They wore head scarves but I hadn't made the connection and felt silly for not knowing. I apologized and confessed to that and the little girl comforted me by saying it was okay. The fact that it didn't bother her really moved me and made it worthwhile to be curious.
This is another reason why it's important to me not to automatically assume someone should know. They didn't owe it to me to be polite and on a bad day, they might not be so polite. Even though I was embarrassed, I didn't respond defensively or with ego. Even though they handled it well, the face he put on could have been for his daughter's benefit. Whatever hurt he might have faced from ignorance in his past was something he would be right not to pass on to his daughter.
Sensitivity is not unimportant but it's a good practice when seeking a new perspective to simply speak with ego and listen with humility. We know that too much ego is destructive but the doubly sensitive are the ones most likely to wound more deeply. Someone calling me crazy is certainly less effective than baby-talking me for my own good.
Accountability is usually the best place to sit. It's generally a good practice to know why you presented a certain character or plot like you did in the first place. Also remember that your disabled character, even if they start out easily offended, they might get a tougher skin, sense of humor or stoicism about it over time. Most people learn over time that holding a grudge is a waste of time. Of course, you learn things like how to avoid certain signs. You start to read condescension or pity in their facial expressions or tone of voice. In many ways, I've become more forgiving of people who make fun of me. I start to see their fear and insecurity in how badly they treat people. I worked service jobs and at times, I'd just meet a dickhead I couldn't handle. Since I always found the time to let my coworkers know, low-key, that I can't handle disrespect, I would tell them beforehand that if I asked them to handle a customer, it meant I needed to step out for a second and calm down. Not a one of them every denied me this because they knew I would make it up to them, accommodate them when they struggled.
For any of my friends that have behavioral hiccups, it's good practice to learn to address this. I actually had a counselor in high school that introduced me to this. She told my teachers and myself that if I needed to leave to just ask and, no other questions asked, I could go. I'd always return and I'd both get my work done and not be a disruption, which worked for everyone. It was important that I didn't abuse it and cause resentment or suspicion. At work, it just meant I would return the favor with helping them complete a task or something. What makes people seem less functional, no matter their challenge, is often the lack of cooperative compromise that people are willing to exchange (a lack of a basic support system). It's not that tribal societies never have 'difficult' people. What keeps them in harmony is that they adjust to new challenges with peaceable solutions that enable everyone to maintain dignity.
As a writer, you have a huge berth to consider your angles. I don't worry too much about stepping on toes. I'm guaranteed to do that. I never do it on purpose, but it happens.
How to wrap this up... 'Write what you know' is crap unless it's nonfiction. Dare to be wrong, but always give it your all. I'm doing this to entertain and explore, so being wrong is part of the fun. At the least, I do prepare to defend my choices. One thing I do want to emphasize is that sensitivity readers are not mandatory. Be confident that the story you need to tell is being handled with the level you are already capable of. Agents might be seeking out the PC crap now, but one day, there is still going to be a pile of pandering literature that will never be picked up again. A sensitivity reader can be good to weed out the impossibilities but take care they're not trying to make a Mary Sue or a token out of your efforts.
