Am Reading Or Some Shit

While I don't write much about what I'm actually reading about, it's about time I do that. 

I'm holding my breath, waiting for The Witcher to come out on Netflix this year.

For those who don't know anything, this was originally a book series written by Andrzej Sapkowski, a Polish author in the early 90s. Despite this author's disdain for video games, it's the Witcher games that skyrocketed his recognition at all. I've mentioned in the past that he took a lump sum agreement rather than contract any royalties. So he made a whole lot less in selling permission than he could have if he had any foresight of how amazing the games would be. Honestly, serves him right, but nonetheless, I'm enjoying currently reading the translations of his books.

I didn't know shit about Witcher until I bought the third game for PS4. GOTY (game of the year) edition too, all beefy with the expansions (which are even better than the core game, but I've already written that review so I won't rehash it). It's dark, it's emotional, it's everything that made me burn to write fantasy myself. It takes old themes and breathes new life into them. Mythical monsters, the gritty realities of human life, the tortured main character who feels like an impostor of humanity meanwhile displaying it more often than most, through his grey veil of morality. He lives by a code, which he claims is the code of all witchers but is more a personal set of rules that we see both the wisdom and folly in.

But the stars that shine brightest in this loner's path are the women who pass through his life. Not the endless stream of prostitutes he patronizes (though these are never insignificant women either) but the little girl he is destined to protect and the terrifying sorceresses who reveal his heart. How efficiently they puncture and expose it yet never make that heart seem weak or unguarded. I am drawn most to this series because it appeals to what I aim for; an unbiased and unforced look at what moves living being and the world around them. It is not just sentient beings that shape a world. From the sudden burst of kingdoms at war to the last twitch of a dying insect, each detail is not insignificant or wasted. This isn't idle, self-congratulating prose. It's an organism in and of itself.

What captivated me most about the games is that you were given moral choices. There are hard consequences for making an essentially good or bad decision... And consequences for walking away. In one of my favorite storylines, you are given the choice to release a demon who tugs at your heartstrings with its take of being trapped inside a tree pulsing with pain for centuries. The reward seems satisfying... But if you choose this, the demon possesses a horse, which sets off a startling chain of events that leads to a prominent man losing his wife to their dead demonic stillborn child and hanging himself. Meanwhile, if you coldly destroy the demon, this man lives, as does his wife. His living child, him and his wife all surviving means a chain of far more rewarding events. You start to learn that Geralt's apparent coldness, playing him more as the code-bound monster from the books, actually exhibits his wisdom and greater good far more in the long run. While it doesn't endear him to most people, you start to see that the few who do trust his judgement tend to live longer and be more beneficial.

Like the Mary Shelley Frankenstein book, the lines between monster and man cannot be assumed. No one sees Geralt as more of a monster than himself, a fact which annoys those who know him. While his plans and actions aren't without flaw, they do not trust him lightly. Despite his refusal to see himself as more than a mutant, he doesn't distrust or reject his inner circle in any other way. He instantly passes off the reins to someone better suited to solve a problem, ready to step in when it is time.

What appeals most is how much he reminds me of one of my own characters. Oddly, a white haired assassin that looks younger than his years. He is unafraid of death, even seems keenly aware of it snapping at his heels. He doesn't stare death in the face or turn to catch a glimpse because he knows the hesitation means he meets death. There is simply a resignation and acceptance that death will walk with him one day. He will hasten it nor avoid it. He is no stranger to fear, but death, next to all of the evils in life, is just a last breath in the wind.

It's not exactly original. It's something many of us ponder and it's a resolution that many fantasy writers come to. Yet, well done, it has quite the impact on our most visceral fears and hopes.

If you've made it this far, then I hope I've inspired you to look more closely at this series too.

The details I know so far is that the Netflix series is coming sometime this year. It launches eight episodes for the first season and will see more if it's as popular as it's projected to be. I hope to all hell it is that and more. I was pretty psyched to hear Henry Cavill is playing Geralt. I've seen him act in many things and he's certainly got the unwavering eyes and strong masculine features Geralt is always accused of. The series is very adult and sexually charged and Cavill isn't afraid to get naked. I hope that we can see more series that steer away the prudish taboos that oddly plague fantasy purists. Deep and sexy aren't mutually exclusive.

So I'm more than ready to see it in live action. The books are entertaining, the games are absolutely stunning (the facial animation in Witcher 3 is some of the most expressive and engaging) but I can't wait to see where The Witcher show will meet between the books and games.

And fuck, Andrzej; hopefully, you bargained more wisely this time around. That writer's ego will take the piss out of you if you get too cocksure.

Hot Weather on Blast and Video Game Glitch Fun

Temps rose up to the high 80s at the end of this week, making me (and my cats, to some degree) puddles of unproductivity. One thing I've always done since I started acquiring technology is to always operate them at optimal temperatures. Even if I were a little lax there, the heat that processors put off are enough of an incentive to give them a rest. The only saving grace being that I had the foresight to buy and install heat repelling window film on a cool morning before the heat wave started, so my sanctuary stayed at an uncomfortable high 80 range instead of the unbearable 100+ range that it normally cooks to under the punishing summer sun.

Unfortunately, it made for an irritable, restless weekend nonetheless and I ended up sprawled out and soggy, a whole limp box of greasy French fries instead of my usual grinning cheeseburger self. Even simple cleaning tasks like putting away laundry or organizing felt more like a five mile run and the sweat poured faster than I could rehydrate. Threw me off bad enough that my hormone levels went wonky and the irritability made me avoid human interaction more than usual. You know yourself long enough and you feel that set in your shoulders and prickle in your spine that lets you know that while you're not looking for a fight, you'll invent one, finish it, and likely carry it on a bit longer.

I did at least keep busy, attempt to meet basic needs, letting sheer exhaustion make sleeping possible. Again, knowing myself, sleep is usually impossible without cool air, curling up on my side, and a blanket with one foot sticking out, but exhaustion is the great equalizer. So I passed out in the heat, sprawled out on my back, no blankets.

In the meantime, I'd gone to a favorite mindless activity of mine: YouTube videos for themed video game glitches. Horrifying, funny, and just plain weird, there's something instant and visceral about placing yourself in a fantasy, immersing it as reality, then watching it defy logic. Sometimes, the pixel garbage gives me that horrifying twinge of wrongness that is hard to keep watching (that glitch in Skyrim where the assets don't load quite right when you walk through that wall in Windhelm) but some just fill me with a sense of wonder or scratch the surface with humor. Some are incorrectly named, being more exploitative or Easter egg by nature, but it's one of the reasons I love the Share feature of PS4. Though I don't actually share my own experiences on YouTube, I like having a personal library of glitches to trim and enjoy for myself.

I still wish that feature had been on the PS3 when I'd warped to Arkngtham ruins and turned to see Shadowmere had materialized over a tent where she was stuck bouncing upside down. Never been able to repeat that one or find any videos where it happened to someone else. Damn it... Though I hate to think of how many hours I might have wasted cackling over an upside down bouncing horse.

So while I wish I could do more creative work (as always the urge stronger for the difficulty of actually being able to), I'm at least keeping my brain and body plugging along. Luckily, my tablets are better equipped to handle this sort of weather, without adding to the heat. I can still type out some notes. Unfortunately, Google Docs on a tablet is glitchy as hell or I'd do some editing projects, but we've got a couple cool days coming up to squeeze that in. My AC unit was torn up when the tree outside of my window at the time had beaten it up, but my dad is installing a new one this week so it's not an issue that will put me off my game for long. As I've said, the window film makes a huge difference too.

In any case (preemptive pun intended), I purchased a sleeve case for my XP-Pen Artist12 display so I can keep it on my laptop table without these razor clawed cats damaging the screen.

I'm scattering a bit because I really want to watch more glitches... It's my visual crack when I need to take my mind to some interesting places. 

Catch ya later!

Spinning Wheels

I started playing Dragon Age Inquisition again. It's not a perfect game but it's one of those games that I can really talk story with another fan and no two people have the same focus or interpretation. Because I'd been several books deep into a series with obvious and vague parallels, I felt a sort of connection to this game (as well as the resolution to make it wholly different despite that).

Which means I'm not writing much, but that's okay. I had some issues with sitting up, fighting odd waves of vertigo, so I took it as a sign to pay attention to my health. I switched to housework and long walks to stay mobile but opted for video games so I could sprawl out on my memory foam mattress posture-free. My muscles feel energized, just needing to get the digestive system and head back in line.

In fact, I try not to think about my work at all. Why? Because different ghosts have been visiting me. I've been having strange dreams, sometimes lucid. They're crap as far as stories goes, but there's a personal element, namely WHO I see, that intrigues me most. It's not always the WHAT but the WHO and WHY that seems to matter. Maybe 15 minutes after waking, the mysticism starts to stale and I write it off as brain play (because brains do that too). All the same dreams seem to be giving me some reprieve from the physical discomfort and hiatus from playing creator.

I don't actually believe in karma or higher powers or cosmic balance, but I love that the feel-good hormones seem to find ways to kick in. It may not be in the way I think I need, but if I can be grateful for the way my body does work for me, I can find reserves for forgiving what alters my plans. There are plenty of things I don't understand and those things don't necessarily need sentience or reason for existing. It's because of this flexibility of evidence that I'm more rigid against the sort of arrogance that assumes moral authority based on feelings alone. You can get a sense over time of what stances are based first in feeling then try to build a shaky logic around it. The argument always circles back to appealing to feelings when the logic has holes for exceptions.

I'm going to pick on veganism again for this example, but I truly have no issue with the practice where it works for people (only the arrogance of a supposed morality). It is often successfully passed on by appealing to emotion. It's introduction, even when presented as a health concern still circles back to compassion for animals. When they can't wrap their head around a person loving fish but still eating it, then in an outburst of feelings, it often escalates to a personal attack. Would I eat my family? Well, no. Just like incest, there's consequences for cannibalism which is also why we largely disapprove of it. I don't love a fish as a fish myself so it's not cannibalism and moot point. I don't even love all human beings equally. I was devastated when my mother died but I was only distantly unhappy when a favorite actor passed away. To assume that all living things are equal or that I can be a truly compassionate person by spreading it so ridiculously thin is absurd. There are hierarchies basedmon experience and to be the most compassionate human to other humans and the planet alike, the battles I pick are not going to be yours. In fact, often we support and negate each other for the benefit or detriment and some things balance-- some things need work. Ruining the world with massive agriculture isn't feasible. Dreaming of genocide bringing the planet down to a happy utopia of vegans might work... But you've left all moral high ground where that is a worthy goal.

We don't need to appeal to the direct issues to inspire the intended feelings though. Successful vendors make you feel good about your purchase, like it was your idea all along. Someone sold them veganism, my burden is to sell my stories.

It's why I don't take the profound feeling of my weird ass dreams and assume that anyone could duplicate the feeling through that nonsense. It's not always about the content. The containers are not where you find the whole story. These places are where I find the thing I want to duplicate. How do I make someone feel bliss through the mediums I use? How can I hope to make someone want to pull their cheek muscles into a goofy smile? How people are drawn into books or pictures is, like in my dreams, how much we let ourselves go (or even how we are held hostage).

You could call it research. Or spinning your wheels. There's a freedom that exists where I am right now in this journey. I am free to step away and consider how to be a creature of experience. Yes, a writer is a manipulator, a list, but remove the negative context. You can like the content and be there to affirm it. You can dislike the content but if it's still intriguing enough, you'll want to see where it's going. When I write for me, I want to consider if what is for me makes sense to someone else. In real life, I often just don't get what is acceptable. I also get that it's my problem. Not that there is something wrong with me, just that I'm seeing it differently. So what needs to be in place for us to reach understanding.

People try to say it whenever bigotry is present, but struggle with the vocabulary. We aren't looking for your definitive morality or view, we're looking for you to handle the burden of proof and sell it. So many people on a moral high ground use yellow words to color a feeling with 'facts' that just don't apply to everyone. Is that not reflected creatively as well? Are we not looking for a way to charm our audience with words? In the end, it's not the ideas alone that sell it, but how you can reach the people who want to hear it.

In fantasy, even when the hero saves the world in some fantastical way, they are sometimes ordinary in their world at first. Sometimes they were never ordinary at all but still wanted to be. They are usually not born with a loyal army and the werewithal to conquer great evil. Winning free people is no overnight occurrence.

Of course, fantasy writers, you are welcome to completely prove any of that wrong in fantasy. However, ultimately, you understand it takes a fantasy world to make fantastical ideas work. We can't just wave a wand and make these ideals work here. Even if you could, you're aware that for someone to gain power that fast, the weight of oppression is also an immediate blowback.

In fact, for those conditions to be met, anyone not on the side of the 'hero' might resent and oppose such a regime and even call them the villain. There will never be a happy hive mind because free thought.

I'll wander off now that my wheels have spun, but please preorder the upcoming anthology! It was a fun chance for me to write just a one-off story with no intention to spin it off or expand it. It is what it is and I had a blast delving into a fantasy theme I usually don't write. I won't get the chance to read the other authors' work but I look forward to getting an advance copy before I buy my own print copy.

The Magical Book of Wands, available October 31, is up for preorder on Amazon. One year only! Prints will be available on release day as well.