I'm Not Colorless

Isms are one of those things I don't like to fixate on in any detail. I look at the arguments and mostly see them crumble into confusion, frustration, and nothing is resolved. Mainly because it involves that stupid human trick of lumping people together based on generic traits.

Learning that "white people" were documented historically as oppressors is something we're taught young in American schools. There was never a time when it wasn't presented as shameful and, essentially, that sort of white guilt was inescapable. Yet learning about any of it didn't teach any of us to be proud or ashamed nor did we suddenly change our moral integrity just based on those lessons. Even learning about history doesn't mean we stop it from repeating. However the indoctrination of perpetual victims does leave a negative impact and if we fall into the habit of taking everything out of context to prove oppression, that is a real problem.

Present day, it seems everyone is just conditioning themselves to be victims of incidents and experiences they've never lived. That isn't to say that slavery didn't exist or that human progress isn't marked by widespread hysteria, but I've seen people widely oversimplify their experience to compare it to a time before laws were made to protect human rights. I also often see people who have no actual friendships with people of other races simply cite articles as if to say "see? I'm not the only one who thinks these people can't be trusted." None of these things actually justify the modern behaviors. We live in a time where people are equally affected by common ailments, yet we're always going to suffer them in unique ways individually. There may be some shared experiences labeled by race, gender, etc. but to assume everyone that can claim a similar trait MUST share another is harmful. We have to learn by meeting new people. They don't have to be your friends, or even acquaintances, but you can't shut yourself into safe groups and expect growth and understanding.

The idea that we just walk up to someone generically different to prove a point isn't what I'm getting at. Friendships are usually come by organically. You usually meet people in environments where you work or go for fun or relax, but do you tend to avoid people? If so, why? Some people are put off when a stranger doesn't smile, but do you try to say hello if they're looking in your direction? I'm not even saying to force it. If you're in a bad mood, you chance injecting the wrong tone or just being scary. There are moments where I'm out walking to think and I'll deliberately pretend to not notice people (or seriously, just be that in my own head that I really don't).

We all have reasons why we avoid people. I tend to avoid men who give a flirty look and mainly because I've been followed or badgered for my number. Yet I have flirty male friends. The difference being I got to know them in an atmosphere I trusted (among friends in public) and determined they weren't predators. Many of us tend to do that these days or we just avoid making new friends because we're content where we are. All the same, I do try to say hi to strangers. I'm socially awkward and eye contact makes me uncomfortable but I don't like to show fear or give people reason to fear me.

Personally I have lived in an area as both a racial majority and a racial minority in my life. Yet it's a bubble that travels only as far as your own senses, no matter how far the whispers try to promise you it stretches. We're all spoiled by the false sense of worldliness the internet can give us. I'm not just being fanciful here. There are many factors like cognitive bias, gullibility, even dishonesty that only supports a selfish need to monetize suffering, that play into why people feed isms. They often have jack shit to do with the truth, the present, or human progress.

What we neglect these days in all this so-called reflection is actually talking to the people we're claiming to know or have all figured out. We're using historical and cultural models are warnings, as broken models, yet we're doing very little to feed modern culture, or practice acceptance, to blur the lines that create these stupid divides. We don't need to preserve 'culture': we keep books, museums, arts, histories, clothing to treasure or mourn human progress. Yet the sorts of 'culture' we need to throw away: ones that practice FGM, secularism, sanctioned oppression aren't being discussed because...

Fuck, this one is so prevalent and easy in writing circles. We get people spotting racism and sexism in compliments. Someone keeps humoring this micro-transgression bullshit and the gripe that when people offend us, we don't feel safe enough to talk back. (For fuck's sake, no one remembers they can just walk away or find help or report people who won't leave you alone.) And it gets into the territory of superimposing bias on abstract situations. I mean flat out assuming someone is racist because you look similar to someone else. Despite the fact that POC constantly try to get my attention by calling me white girl or mistaking me for someone who basically only has the same hair color as me, I have never fucking called this racism, even when I could tell they decided not to like me right away. I abhor that we're watering down a word as cautionary (and dangerous) as racial superiority and outright hate because someone trying to be nice didn't do it the way you think they should have. It can get pretty annoying when you're mistaken for the only other (insert race here) person in the area, but it's not outright dangerous to have made an assumption because you don't know their face that well. Especially when the mistaken identity comes with a misplaced compliment (like congratulating you for what that person did).

Is it at all possible that it's just a mistake? I'm not saying not to be cautious, because people in general can be pretty unhinged. But without evidence of racism, with nothing but a victim complex, can we at least consider that behaviors aren't always that fucking simplistic? Is it really okay to perpetuate a bad mood that you will then take out on others rather than having the maturity to admit you might be taking shit out of context?

I realize that I'm never going to escape the annoyances of ignorance, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. If you haven't already, I suggest you watch Trevor Noah's Son of Patricia comedy special. The way his mother taught him how to deal with racism is absolutely priceless. Now, I'm an atheist so I don't "shake things up with the love of Jesus" but the sentiment that you don't internalize it, that you get creative and confuse them with kindness, is absolutely universal.

These 'each race is special' arguments are also negating an entire set of people who are bi/multi-racial. We do live in a time where it's simply time to get rid of all the damn boxes. Don't 'think outside the box', throw the shit away. It's one thing to maintain the knowledge, but much of it is just too broken to keep around. Keep your preferences, your beliefs, those individual aspects of yourself. However, the identity most important to you comes from your actions, your integrity and your ability to adapt and grow.

As the title says, I'm not colorless. I'm cool with you saying I'm the white girl when I'm the only one in the room and I'm not offended by being called white otherwise. What I do take umbrage to are the idiotic blanket statements, the biases, the untested and unknown assumptions used by people who actually seem to be using words like 'racist' 'sexist' and 'homophobe' to cover up their own prejudice and hatred.

I've lived with a psychopath before, friends. People who try to beat you to the punch are often the ones guilty of it.

Or as some genius said "he who smelt it, dealt it."