Can You Paint With All the Colors of the Yarn?

I did mention before that I was on a quest to find cheap, soft, strong yarn in many, many colors to begin making more amigurumi with. This took me to some interesting yarn choices on AliExpress. I'd bought some milk cotton from there in a pinch and ended up making some wonderfully soft headbands with them. One of the reasons I don't actually wear many crocheted hats or headbands is because even the softest yarns tended to irritate my forehead. Even if they were soft, they weren't breathable or caused more sweat than they could soak up.

I'm not a masochist for fashion so it's always comfort first.

A decent yarn of all those requirements was usually an expensive ask, despite how very cheap it is to make. My other option was to order from a Turkish company called ICE, which has beautiful quality yarns... But also came with a shipping cost of no less than $45, so unless you want to buy in serious bulk, it's not the best choice. And I did order bulk from them. For a little over 100 dollars, I bought a ricidulous amount and selection of yarn, averaging out to no more than $1 for every 50g ball.

It felt a bit like spoiling myself but it wasn't the kind of purchase I could make often. Where could I get a deal like for smaller volume?

Well, I answered that already so the suspense is gone, but yes, you can order a variety of wound fibers for an amazing price at AliExpress... If you don't mind the 3-5 week wait on average. Which I don't. In fact, I'm quite willing to wait to avoid retail mark-ups. Now, milk cotton sits at a little over a buck per 50g ball but even higher quality fibers like alpaca, silk, cashmere, and bamboo blends tend to hang around the 3-5 dollar per 50g ball range. Blends, of course, but I tend to prefer blends since they are varying percentages of other materials like merino wool (one of the few sheep wools I'm not sensitive to) or angora that actually provide more stable woven strands that make up for another fiber's weaknesses. Some luxury materials like cashmere tend to shed or cling to itself so stabilizing it with silk or bamboo, a much sturdier fiber, is a plus.

I'm going to break off topic for just a paragraph to inform here, but sheep's wool allergies/sensitivities  are not created equal. For a long time, I believed all animal wool was the culprit but in my case, only poorly processed wools that have high levels of lanolin were the issue. I'm able to work with merino because it is often properly processed. For those that believe that wool is the irritant, most of us are actually triggered either by animal dander or, in sheep's wool, it's the lanolin. Just like we secrete levels of sebum to regulate our skin, sheep secrete this as one of their natural defenses. Just like how humans can overproduce or underproduce sebum, sheep wool can contain levels that are irritants to us as well. Some wools are bleached in processing before they are dyed (if they are dyed, at that) so they are more prone to cause irritation. I myself have sebaceous dermatitis, an overproduction on my scalp, and not only can it make my skin itchy and flaky but even cause scabbing and bleeding if untreated. So of course, trying to cut corners on animal yarn processing means ending up with a 'cheap' product. Though removing wool from a sheep is kind to them, poorly processed yarn can in turn be unkind to sensitive human skin.

One of the reasons I like milk cotton is that it's a very renewable natural crop, definitely cruelty free no matter the process. It's very gentle on skin, both working with it and to be worn later...

Buuuut... Going back to the quest for a rainbow of yarn, I believe I've fulfilled that requirements, even nabbing those vibrant pinks, oranges and whites that I normally don't seek out. However, I wanted to challenge myself to make character plushies that DO utilize those colors. I don't enjoy that I'm a sort of color prude, a bit of a quirk that I won't let limit me as an artist. I find that preferences and hang-ups simply come from lack of good experiences, and that challenging those perceptions often means being able to change them and even embrace new attitudes that improve you. Aversions are hard to correct, but at times, the things we avoid are only minor annoyances or hesitations, something with room to be challenged. For me to actively avoid color choices has always been a discredit to what potential exists in reaching those who do gravitate towards them. What positive energy can exist by appealing to someone else's spectrums? Can I deal with my annoyances now to open my eyes to the response of positive energy that comes later?

And yes, I can. 

I wasn't looking to subliminally add a race parallel here, but I did notice it as I built. Literally, I'm exactly talking about my silly individual aversion to orange, pink and bright white being a problem. But sure, it's also silly for people to weigh skin color with so much finality. But you know, sometimes the shoe fits other feet. Life is no Cinderella story where no one else in the kingdom has the same tiny feet. Or make us wonder if he might've ended up with an 8-old-boy if he'd never found her.

Those stories are always creepier the more you analyzed them though, yeah? But face value is never where the juicier stories are at anyway.

Oh, I could tell you quite a yarn, but I just broke so many pun-haters' backs with that one...

I'm Not Colorless

Isms are one of those things I don't like to fixate on in any detail. I look at the arguments and mostly see them crumble into confusion, frustration, and nothing is resolved. Mainly because it involves that stupid human trick of lumping people together based on generic traits.

Learning that "white people" were documented historically as oppressors is something we're taught young in American schools. There was never a time when it wasn't presented as shameful and, essentially, that sort of white guilt was inescapable. Yet learning about any of it didn't teach any of us to be proud or ashamed nor did we suddenly change our moral integrity just based on those lessons. Even learning about history doesn't mean we stop it from repeating. However the indoctrination of perpetual victims does leave a negative impact and if we fall into the habit of taking everything out of context to prove oppression, that is a real problem.

Present day, it seems everyone is just conditioning themselves to be victims of incidents and experiences they've never lived. That isn't to say that slavery didn't exist or that human progress isn't marked by widespread hysteria, but I've seen people widely oversimplify their experience to compare it to a time before laws were made to protect human rights. I also often see people who have no actual friendships with people of other races simply cite articles as if to say "see? I'm not the only one who thinks these people can't be trusted." None of these things actually justify the modern behaviors. We live in a time where people are equally affected by common ailments, yet we're always going to suffer them in unique ways individually. There may be some shared experiences labeled by race, gender, etc. but to assume everyone that can claim a similar trait MUST share another is harmful. We have to learn by meeting new people. They don't have to be your friends, or even acquaintances, but you can't shut yourself into safe groups and expect growth and understanding.

The idea that we just walk up to someone generically different to prove a point isn't what I'm getting at. Friendships are usually come by organically. You usually meet people in environments where you work or go for fun or relax, but do you tend to avoid people? If so, why? Some people are put off when a stranger doesn't smile, but do you try to say hello if they're looking in your direction? I'm not even saying to force it. If you're in a bad mood, you chance injecting the wrong tone or just being scary. There are moments where I'm out walking to think and I'll deliberately pretend to not notice people (or seriously, just be that in my own head that I really don't).

We all have reasons why we avoid people. I tend to avoid men who give a flirty look and mainly because I've been followed or badgered for my number. Yet I have flirty male friends. The difference being I got to know them in an atmosphere I trusted (among friends in public) and determined they weren't predators. Many of us tend to do that these days or we just avoid making new friends because we're content where we are. All the same, I do try to say hi to strangers. I'm socially awkward and eye contact makes me uncomfortable but I don't like to show fear or give people reason to fear me.

Personally I have lived in an area as both a racial majority and a racial minority in my life. Yet it's a bubble that travels only as far as your own senses, no matter how far the whispers try to promise you it stretches. We're all spoiled by the false sense of worldliness the internet can give us. I'm not just being fanciful here. There are many factors like cognitive bias, gullibility, even dishonesty that only supports a selfish need to monetize suffering, that play into why people feed isms. They often have jack shit to do with the truth, the present, or human progress.

What we neglect these days in all this so-called reflection is actually talking to the people we're claiming to know or have all figured out. We're using historical and cultural models are warnings, as broken models, yet we're doing very little to feed modern culture, or practice acceptance, to blur the lines that create these stupid divides. We don't need to preserve 'culture': we keep books, museums, arts, histories, clothing to treasure or mourn human progress. Yet the sorts of 'culture' we need to throw away: ones that practice FGM, secularism, sanctioned oppression aren't being discussed because...

Fuck, this one is so prevalent and easy in writing circles. We get people spotting racism and sexism in compliments. Someone keeps humoring this micro-transgression bullshit and the gripe that when people offend us, we don't feel safe enough to talk back. (For fuck's sake, no one remembers they can just walk away or find help or report people who won't leave you alone.) And it gets into the territory of superimposing bias on abstract situations. I mean flat out assuming someone is racist because you look similar to someone else. Despite the fact that POC constantly try to get my attention by calling me white girl or mistaking me for someone who basically only has the same hair color as me, I have never fucking called this racism, even when I could tell they decided not to like me right away. I abhor that we're watering down a word as cautionary (and dangerous) as racial superiority and outright hate because someone trying to be nice didn't do it the way you think they should have. It can get pretty annoying when you're mistaken for the only other (insert race here) person in the area, but it's not outright dangerous to have made an assumption because you don't know their face that well. Especially when the mistaken identity comes with a misplaced compliment (like congratulating you for what that person did).

Is it at all possible that it's just a mistake? I'm not saying not to be cautious, because people in general can be pretty unhinged. But without evidence of racism, with nothing but a victim complex, can we at least consider that behaviors aren't always that fucking simplistic? Is it really okay to perpetuate a bad mood that you will then take out on others rather than having the maturity to admit you might be taking shit out of context?

I realize that I'm never going to escape the annoyances of ignorance, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. If you haven't already, I suggest you watch Trevor Noah's Son of Patricia comedy special. The way his mother taught him how to deal with racism is absolutely priceless. Now, I'm an atheist so I don't "shake things up with the love of Jesus" but the sentiment that you don't internalize it, that you get creative and confuse them with kindness, is absolutely universal.

These 'each race is special' arguments are also negating an entire set of people who are bi/multi-racial. We do live in a time where it's simply time to get rid of all the damn boxes. Don't 'think outside the box', throw the shit away. It's one thing to maintain the knowledge, but much of it is just too broken to keep around. Keep your preferences, your beliefs, those individual aspects of yourself. However, the identity most important to you comes from your actions, your integrity and your ability to adapt and grow.

As the title says, I'm not colorless. I'm cool with you saying I'm the white girl when I'm the only one in the room and I'm not offended by being called white otherwise. What I do take umbrage to are the idiotic blanket statements, the biases, the untested and unknown assumptions used by people who actually seem to be using words like 'racist' 'sexist' and 'homophobe' to cover up their own prejudice and hatred.

I've lived with a psychopath before, friends. People who try to beat you to the punch are often the ones guilty of it.

Or as some genius said "he who smelt it, dealt it."

Color Obsession

I'm not starting this one with any attempt at racial integration (and really arguments involving sexualization/food corresponding with skin color are mentally fucking exhausting to me anyway). No, in this case, I want to poke at how color is used in writing. Namely, starting with a gripe-- the need to use a different color word every time someone describes the eyes, bodily fluids, etc.

Why? Because colors aren't really that interchangeable on some levels. While you CAN compare a skin color to caramel and people can easily picture that hue (whether it's favorable or not), you can't as successfully interchange turquoise, aqua, sky blue, cobalt and any damn blue you want. Whyyyyy?

Number one, and probably like you, the audience doesn't know the difference like it is displayed above. Yet, they'll probably notice that you use a different color every time. Even if you think it might be clever to attach those colors to every mood they have, the reader is probably just going to think it annoying or pretentious. Okay, don't really care about that in the long run, but I will say it irks me that writers think this somehow enriches their writing when it doesn't.

I forget who said it and I'm in free-writing mode to warm up to NaNo, but it may have been Ursula Le Guin but it could be Tolkien for all I keep track (again, please don't take my word for it). In essence, the idea is that repetition is not a thing to be strictly avoided. In an earlier post, I covered this with a sub-heading "Sometimes an apple is just an apple" although that was more focused on someone detailing a fruit to try to be creative rather than it being interesting or relevant. Yet still, it tapped on the idea I'm after here with color-- that it's okay to just use the exact word that you mean once again rather than always finding a similar word to avoid repetition. Don't say 'a round object used to make transportation easier' if you mean a wheel. Simplified words are far more indicative of your intelligence and creativity. Trying to use many similar words interchangeably runs the risk of sending even intelligent readers too far off course of vocabulary knowledge.

As for colors, yeah, you can get away with using turquoise and teal to similar effect. However, traditionally, people do picture turquoise to be a darker shade than teal. As you can see, turquoise and aqua even sit in similar shade groups (but sky blue and cobalt are nowhere close).

I'm not saying not to pull out a 'viridian' or 'canary' in your writing, just be maybe aim to be consistent and even scarce. Let lust darken their eyes or happiness lighten them, but don't always feel the need to find the word for that color or mention it at all. It can just be lighter or darker and 'a shade of green' if you must. Although in actuality, that's a bit wordy, maybe that will convince you to be simpler, vaguer, because it's just not that important to the scene. Many writers will insist it IS important but then get frustrated when their readers constantly point out that it was distracting rather than helpful.

Moving onto blood... yes, it can have meaning in the shade as well. Thin blood is brighter than thick or coagulated blood. Dried blood is brown. However, fresh, coagulated, and dried are all powerful enough words without the ruby, crimson or brown attachments. In cases where the wounded doesn't realize it's blood at all, their perception of shock accompanied by it being warm, sticky or reddish before the realization of pain or property sets in can work to invite the reader to realize it before they do. Being too coy about 'ruby droplets' can infantilize an otherwise powerful scene rather than add mystery. Yet the pulse-born steady gush of a deep wound can add the right effect. Rather than be married to the stream of colorful words, you will still find depth and purpose in the words you more carefully select.

Again, let's refer back to 'killing your darlings.' Sometimes that inspired outpouring of prose will need to be butchered down to simpler elements to consider pace, structure and plot more. There is a reason you find more blog posts concerning those things rather than creative writing. Most creatives come by the minute details naturally, but the experienced writer will cut these down on the revision. Being married to words can be a bitter relationship that muddies the story. One hard rule that is still flexible is that the story comes first. You don't need to bury your voice, but don't let it trump your story either.

In the interest of detail, one way to make repetition less cumbersome is in the presentation of the sentences supporting it. I tend to have a love for towering spires and I also love that the word is exactly the right one. Yet when I speak of their features at times, I'll play instead with the adjectives-- make them catch the sunlight or glitter from the stones they are made of. They're jutting or proud or neglected or crumbling. Even then, I try not to obsess on them in a series of paragraphs and even labor to not give them more prominence than they need. As for whether the word is used twice or more in one sentence? Learn not to let it bother you if you need to use every instance. One of the best places for variation will always lie in the adjectives and verbs. Those are expressly made for the job!

You may have noticed I have a particular obsession with color, but it's something I don't force on my writing either. Unless I'm writing a story about a character that shares this obsession, I'm assuming too much as the narrator. If I need to flex these muscles, I'll write that story, but not every story has to be the vehicle for every bit of knowledge and passion I possess. Epic fantasy especially has no shortage of richness that doesn't need any help to boost the word count. Take my latest finished draft, UnSung, as an example. It currently sits close to the 250K mark and may see a higher count still (there are a couple of short scenes needing added to boost a later plot thread). Nevertheless, I really had to plan and pick to isolate it down to the proper pace for the story. It didn't need extraneous poetic filler or info-dumps to get there. In fact, it would be a hard sell and a tedious story if I'd done so.

Summing it up, don't hesitate to flex your vocabulary, but mind how you use it. Use words that don't require people to run to a dictionary. Even when I use fancier color words, I sometimes expand the context the first time I do. "Those viridian eyes, deceptive in their resemblance to the hills behind my childhood home, were far too cold to harbor any of the warmth from my nostalgia." Save sentences like that for where they can make an impact. Be concise. Be short. Then, hit them with the power of an effective chain. Just like candy loses it sweetness when over-indulged, words can lose their power as well.

Writing is trial and error more than do's and don'ts. Even 'do's and don'ts'  is heavily debated, but it's agreed that whichever style you use, at least be consistent. Some effects are better used sparingly, others will need a stricter hand. You'll get a better feel with this as you butt heads with all those damn 'rules' out there. Go ahead and fight it a bit, but keep in mind, your average FaceBook writing group will endlessly encourage bad habits rather than risk offending you by saying your usage was tedious.

All writers are obsessed with words in some sense. Yet finding your voice will come from your inner critic more than your free-flowing creativity. First drafts are often like falling in love, where every word feels right. So many writers become dismayed by how bad the reread is, but understand that that is a passionate but worthwhile response. Never completely silence the need to do better at least. No matter how you improve, it does you good to embrace the skepticism and use it to strengthen the intent of your stories. It's not because you suck and should give up-- it's because you care enough to want it to be the best you can make it.

It's my hope that you can take away some inner strength and criticism alike. Now I need to beat some fish who keep scaring the shit out of me by knocking over rocks. I swear they do this on purpose just to get my attention, so attention they shall get (even if it's not what they were bargaining for).

Give Them Purpose

It's somewhat tragic when people spend such loving care to build a rich character, but end up leaving them flat when they leave out the vehicle that drives them: purpose.

It probably seems ridiculous-- what would be the point of telling a story if that wasn't the FIRST thing you'd consider? For a writer, of course that would be confusing, but not all people arrive at writing first. I've talked about in my own past how I used to make pages and pages of character profiles, all supposedly for this epic story idea I had boiling up. Oo, I'm mapping where they'll go, what kind of crazy creatures they'll meet.

Only when it came down to purpose, they just didn't mesh as well as I thought they might. Precisely why I've also covered topics involved the complication of overplanning and forgetting to connect those rich yet conflicting ideas.

In many ways, we could learn from the way some mushrooms grow. At first, they spread out randomly, looking for the best sources in a comprehensive network, they send out a thin but fast moving gathering network to start. When the thin veins home in on the nutrient rich areas, they begin to concentrate on setting up shop on all of those key points and letting the smaller networks fade but not completely disappear (if a new source appears in the spread, they can detect it and spread resources to it immediately). Logically, they want to benefit from and even feed the source, so they don't just smother it but expand in as many directions as possible to, in turn, feed the source they are feeding from rather than deplete it.

So yes-- plotting is about a) spreading out to find the best ways to support the initial idea, b) locating the places to best develop it, c) keeping the web open to new possibilities and supporting details, d) continuing to build where needed, and e) feeding the ideas rather than exhausting all possibilities.

As a novice writer, one of the things that made me lose interest in a story was loss of purpose, not in my writing but for my character's sake. I ended up burning through all of the interesting points without holding back or developing the story so, once I'd removed all intrigue and mystery and conflict, they'd be left with nothing, including anything worthy of a story.

Lulls can happen in a story; they aren't unforgivable but they should reflect your intent in writing it. I'd be hard-pressed to find a story that is intentionally meant to bore anyone but it can happen, if you don't develop each part with a purpose. Does an informative section of a story have to be outright boring?

I know that 'purpose' is one of those variable words, much like 'voice' or 'style' when discussed by writers. However, when I talk about a character's purpose, it has to exist constantly. A character who comes back into the picture with no actual purpose can kill a story. It's okay if you haven't used them a while and it's okay if they don't come back if their purpose was served. They don't have to have a climactic exit, no matter how important they are in your head. You don't have to kill off characters to get rid of them. Not every exit has to be emotional-- even those can seem transparent or fall flat. A good way to ditch a stale character can even be to have them simply disappear. Maybe you can use that subplot of finding out why as a fresh lead-in to the main plot. Again, this doesn't have to be a focus, but be careful not to create intrigue if you're just going to drop it. 

One bad example for lost purpose happened in one season of The Walking Dead. My guess is that it was supposed to be an emotional or real moment for the character; even the strongest are weak and exhausted, something along those lines. Yet Rick suddenly becoming a sad sack of surrender for many, many episodes while his annoying son Carl was dragging him around with limp attempts to snap him out of it was excruciating and never quite hit the spot as anything but filler. One thing that I just can't jibe with in entertainment is any attempt to 'real-time' a situation. You're not really going to teach anyone how excruciating depression is by big-brothering it in entertainment. I've seen it done rather well across many forms of entertainment by homing in on very key points, showing how it affects others, etc. so you need never resort to rolling it out like that. The whole tedium of it reeked of losing the purpose of the show, not truly displaying a character that lost their purpose. In a world that constantly penalizes people for one misstep in the struggle for survival, Rick got a big fat fucking Mary Sue pass there.

Honestly, I never even made it to the end of the whole Negan debacle before I stopped watching. Killing off Glenn and Abraham was cheap enough. As much as I love Jeffrey Dean Morgan, I was just fucking tired of the badder than the last bad guy crap. It's the Sailor Moon/Dragon Ball formulaic rinse/repeat cycle that I avoid like the plague. Michonne was one of those characters that kept me hanging on longer than I should have, but even she was really running out of steam.

(I might have a purpose to this post, but don't count on it.)

In any case, purpose is one of those things you can't just keep in your peripherals. You really have to kept a solid eye on it. One reason I plan is because there is always the temptation to gush about the flow of great ideas while writing and I realize that the slow-burn (but not TOO slow) is worth detaching for. Unless you've crafted some masterful way to swap out main characters that are burning out with shiny new ones, then you must keep them relevant. You must leave some reason for conflict, some mystery to explore, some bait to lure them on.

Moving onto the next character color-combo piece, we have Pierait, whose entire point is Purpose.

While this very pale blue might also work for Belias's eyes, this is one I picked for Pierait's 'powder blue' hair. I wasn't going for some anime-blue but a subtle one that still differentiates from just a blue tinted platinum. This may be more of a highlight color were I to paint it, but if I had to choose a 'blue' that better represents the basic feeling I was going for, this is it. Clean slate, pure, even a sort of void on a moral spectrum. 

Now his eyes, no less a struggle to choose, needed a warm yet sunny quality. Yellows are tough to avoid being high-contrast bright without ending up more brown than yellow, but I liked this golden yet lemony yellow for it. It was intentional that I went with a reversal on what you'd find to be colors for hair and eyes. Blonde eyes/ blue hair? But then Pierait is opposite of what you'd expect from a human. This combination was actually not picked to be visually complementary as I did with my other choices. Again, this goes to the conflict of the character himself. His sort even had a history of being considered abominations so it's only fitting that his colors break all of the usual rules.

His 'people' are called the Soulless, although it is not a genetic condition. Due to an imbalance in the ways souls are distributed, some human are born without souls, which also leaves them empty containers when it comes to free will or Purpose. They seem to share the trait of apathy as children, although it's not quite that simple. They are capable of learning, but don't retain emotional baggage nor display strong emotions at all. It is akin to a functional state of autopilot.

Their state of being is dangerous and it was quickly learned that they must be granted a Purpose through a ritual in their teenage years or their deaths will release a fearsome deadly creature known as a Fury, that will leaves chaos and death in its wake. Whatever Purpose they are given must be one that can be immediately and constantly fulfilled, so it is more like a job assignment that makes their life one of contribution. Dying with a fulfilled Purpose is peaceful and without consequence. 

At one point, fear caused Soulless children to be killed on sight. If they never reached the age where they needed a Purpose, then they would never risk becoming Furies.

Where does this leave Pierait? His mother, a troubled young woman, decided to take matters into her own hands and go against convention. She discovers how to give her son a Purpose, but an impossible one: to acquire a soul. It's never been done and if his Purpose is discovered, he would be banished to where Furies flee and left to die. It's a lonely and isolated existence, but a Purpose is a Purpose.

(Next up, I'll have Lyria ready for you, an ordinary girl with an extraordinary gift.)

Speaking of purpose, what gives your characters purpose? Is your favorite current purpose the main plot itself or a fun subplot? My current WIP involves a golem, a blocked tunnel and a cryptic mystery while on the way to looking for dragons. All a subplot at the moment, but one I'm enjoying. Share yours below!

Embrace the Dark Side

Do you need to be a dark and dismal person to write dark themes?

Nope.

Thank you for reading, stay tuned for--

Just playing. And dark humor is my favorite kind, by the way.

The truth remains that even the grimdarkiest fantasy can come from an optimistic and sunny person. At least I assume so, because I'm more of a slightly light grey myself.

I know many fantasy writers are quick to differentiate themselves from the dark trends by emphasizing they write HIGH fantasy or even LIGHT fantasy (or YA as if that somehow works as an odd bit of virtue-signaling with the white flag of 'this one's for the pure eyes of the kiddies'. You know nothing, Jon Snow; the snow is yellowed underneath). I don't think a great deal of them are that afraid of the dark, so to speak, but that sort of shield does get raised often enough that I can say it's a thing.

Truly, it's a challenge to write in the light. It's clear that dark has exploded in trend (but neither assume that the trend is why you should write it. Getting to that...) so I can give credit to people who decide to write the lesser traveled roads for some challenge or avoidance of influence.

Yet light is dark and dark is light and they don't exist without the other. Turning your back on the shadow doesn't mean it's not stretching away from your feet all the same.

To attempt to stay in the light doesn't quite work. Even LOTR, regarded to be high fantasy, has some very deep darkness to counter the pure and light. Hobbits are revered as damn near childlike in innocence but are not immune to the temptation of corruption (I appreciate how dark the Shadows of Mordor game for that contrast). Elves are the shiniest of them all but the most quick to corrupt and world-breaking in the magnitude of that fall. Dwarves were virtually the gods of architectural wonder, yet their corruption all but wiped them out in secret, leaving their massive empires turned to hollow mountain mausoleums.

And the most dangerous thing in their universe? An elf-forged golden ring, faithful to no master, almost sentient in its will to tempt and spread its disease. The light and dark in one otherwise insignificant hunk of metal.

I've seen the most optimistic attempt only their light and happy places. One blurb (and this will have to be from memory since it's been maybe a year or more since encountering it) spoke only of a kingdom of light and the perfection they achieved. The possible book cover was a chessboard, so immediately, people pointed out-- what's on the dark side? Where's the conflict?

I saw the writer's immediate frustration that the story was about the light side. I understood the point of focus, yet they seemed all too keen to create any conflict, any taint, any halt to the progress of the light kingdom or any insinuation it could be corrupted from within.

Conceptually, I can even understand the defense, but the presentation didn't work. It came off as no different than the biased 'Murica Wins education I got in US history class. The bad guys died, the bad guys lost, the bad guys are wholly bad guys and they can't come over to play. Without some justification of that, without some conflict (not necessarily of construction), the idea itself was just boring. If the writer is so set on removing the dark element, then what is the actual story to captivate, the vehicle that makes the light as satisfying as warm honey? Is this a scene for innocent seduction and love or are you subjecting your audience to Sim City: infinite, no natural disaster, screensaver, non-interactive edition?

I could say the same thing about the dark. All dark is dull. Murder and chaos and conflict without context is not necessarily more entertaining. It does however resonate more easily with an audience for cheap thrills. All things are imperfect so by default, corruption in any dosage is relatable. You can shy away from its deepest stains and write all the better for it (there are many dark places I wish I could unsee), but for most people, the light, if not too shiny is just grating as all hell. There be the land of the virtue-signalers pointing down on all who quiver beneath it in shame.

I kid, but no one should be afraid that their high fantasy become too dark by sticking their toes in the water at all. Writing is one of the most wonderful ways to test and even push back what triggers and torments us. It is not a place of depravity but a place to display our courage and resolve. It's only cheap if you flirt with it. Court it properly and it's not the nightmare you think.

There's no deep, deep hole I plan to lead you on from here, grooming you for some horror you weren't ready for. I only want to encourage you to explore. This doesn't mean you have to join the ranks of blowhards that pretend to gleefully kill characters for no damn reason. GRRM might be the body count king, but what makes his characters draw you back in isn't the delight in their death, but the depth of the story, the cruel tease of light flickering in the carnage. On a blood soaked battlefield, it's the glint of sunlight caught on the silver of a breastplate that catches your eye again and again. 

But seriously, abridge the shit out of that content because you really have to wade through ridiculous amounts of pointless filler along the way. Princess Bride is only damn near perfect because they chopped out the skull-fuck-fest that is describing the kingdom of Gilder and Prince Humperdink. To the pain, indeed...

So to finish, I subject you to the colors of Night!

Alas, his hair could not just be 'as black as night' which is atmospherically impossible. I needed a very dark violet as the base, with a very nearly black/violet but never TRUE black (again, digitally impossible since no monitor completely turns off pixels to display some semblance of true black. Also because #000000 is lazy coloring). What I love about this color is that no matter how dark your screen is (yeah, I'm looking at you, writers) there is an illusory dark edge that seems darker than the center. I love colors that contain their own quirks without effort.

Sigh, I know what you want to say about the eye color, but I'm hoping you can see the navy black. Again tempting to simply make this a true black but his irises are the same color-- the eyes are one place that absorb atmospheric light the most which falls in the blue spectrum. Ask digital colorists what shades they use in the 'whites' of eyes and it ranges from dusky purples to ashen blues. Again, atmospheric colors. If the atmosphere has warm tones, then the highlights actually carry that weight rather than the shadows.

Veering a little too much into the art specifications here, but painting skin NEVER uses bases this dark, even for the super dark skin tones. Watch a skin painting tutorial by Istebrak on YouTube for some very precise insight on that. However, hair and eyes can get away with this because the light reflecting nature of hair involved the transparent cuticle and the eyes have their own transparencies (which was a lesson I was mesmerized by when modeling an eye in animation class). As long as there is a noticeably darker option and a complementing highlight (again, nothing like skin), you'll get them right where you want them with a wide range of bases.

As for Night (sorry, guy; stealing your thunder), this is a character who seems very similar to Ashe. Flirtatious, not a care in the world, even has his particular rare fighting style shared. However, Night is not allowed to keep his secrets and is exposed by what grows too big to contain within him. He becomes withdrawn and secretive and lashes out, but he is tormented, wanting to be loving and gentle and kind but unable to withstand it.

Rather than spoil the darkest angles here, I will deliver the next character's color-porn swatches on the next post. This time I'll cover Freesia, another character unable to avoid the tendrils of darkness.

Do you prefer the light but acknowledge the beauty of darkness in your work? And for a bonus, do you prefer metaphorical (mood and tension) or literal (perversion and violence) displays of darkness? Call this a general question though, since it's clear a bit of both is usually measured in how it's needed. In choosing right now, which appeals to what you want to write most? Be indecisive or make your choice below!

You Got You, Babe

I might have said in many ways how grateful I am to have the support system that I do (and that it wasn't always so ideal or even present at all). I see many people twisted up over the lack of support, and namely a very specific disappointment in a certain party. Women upset that their fiancés aren't enthusiastic about reading their work, individuals of all ages (even adults) lamenting discouraging or outright hostile parents, people wondering if they should ditch friends that avoid reading it at all costs.

Yet the more you push, the more resistance you will get.

What must drive you, and what you must never become complacent with or spoiled by even when your support is phenomenal, is you. I know it sounds insultingly simple and you'll hear it said a million ways by writers reaching out to support other writers, but you must do you.

Without knowing how you're built to be receptive to change, most people (myself included) will resist the more people insist. I tried to push people to believe in me at one point, but it's time and energy wasted in how I could keep proving I had what it takes. I'm not a joiner and I don't know why I thought I was so rare in that, but I find that most people aren't anxious to swim with the other fish upstream unless the reward for the effort is irresistible.

Well, what effort is involved in just passively sharing your work on social media, or word of mouth? A great deal of people also want to believe we discovered our most treasured assets and there's also a HUGE amount of pressure you're putting on them to be what you want from them. They do want to be your fan in some sense, but they don't want to seem like that simply because of that relationship. They look like a tool and anyone they talk to is suspicious as to whether they REALLY like it. You may be writing something they've never been interested in and even if its genre is close, it still might not be the tone they enjoy. They might see your writing voice as uncomfortably intimate and don't want to know how you bare yourself as a writer to the public. They also see how much it means to you and even the most honest friends might be terrified to jab too deep and send you into depression.

Even though I offer reasons, this isn't a good way to analyze their motives with a game of twenty questions. Really, you have to go passive on this one. Let them come to you but don't be wounded if they pretend ignorance. You probably exhibit sensitivities that make it difficult to approach you. Work on that.

How? Again, this work is about you. Delve into it, refine it, tear it apart, lay it open to critics and bleed. It can take many, many years to get a peep out of the people closest to you. You might want to find cynical reasons or use that writer's mind to weave a tale of their bitterness and resentment for your passion. Pfft. Get over yourself on that. I mean it. I had to. Jealousy is like that spot in your vision that moves when you look at it. Even if there's a chance they are, you're kind of just the annoying douche that pokes their eyeball to try to make them see it.

Like the header says, you got you. That introversion into your work is your retreat to build and wreck and rebuild anyway you want. Don't turn it into a place of overwork or grudgery in some desperate act of chasing perfection and acceptance. You really have to keep the pettiness out unless it somehow works directly as an arc in your work. You're going to make a lot of work for yourself undoing whatever garbage piles up around you unless you work on focusing on the work. You can sit down angry, cracking your knuckles in an effort to prove something to someone, but once you get going, kick that shit out.

I know some of my readers are in a good place. Even better than the place I'm in on some comparative scale even. You can back me up or refine the idea I'm on then. This is going to be more for the inexperienced or struggling ones who just can't kick the melancholy of where they are as opposed to where they want to be or think they should be.

No one can promise you'll shine like a beacon and turn over all your opposition. In fact, when you do well, quite the opposite is a possibility. What you need at every point of time is the state of mind to keep going no matter how celebrated or vilified you are. Be the consummate hero (or villain) and champion your ideals. Don't worry about whether it's good or bad. It's very unlikely you'll unknowingly pass some point of no-return. Mastery is a slow climb and you'll always find places to change tact, to be more present in life or buckle down on neglected writing.

Only you can give you that state of mind. I know you have you. It's your certainty. You won't become disembodied and regrets are beneath you. Start now. Change now. Work now. Keep at it. Fall off the wagon, get back in. Build a better wagon. Burn the damn wagon and get a sexy Italian sportscar. A sense of humor and a creative view on your life? You'll need them. Now kick some ass and consider every new fan, every loved one who joins your cause a little more, an unforeseen bonus.

You have to earn it to appreciate it. You can't expect it, no matter how hard you work. A loyalty prize is a cheap win-- it feels DAMN good to win the unwinnable. 

COLOR-PORN TIME!

I know I'm driving some people nuts with my damn subtleties but bear with me. This is Ashe's color scheme. That is not the same white as Dinsch's. Ashe's hair is more of a cream-tinted white, as his is not the platinum of albinism but just a truly light shade of blonde with a warm yellow base (platinum is a cooler base, which is I leaned on a green base for Dinsch). I rolled the mouse to choose these so no cheap presets would do (although I was pleasantly surprised to see my 'discovered' white is alternately called Albany Paint Brilliant White so someone liked it enough to honor it with a name). I found this medium blue then desaturated it a bit so it actually feels warmer and less electric in brightness. In the story, Ashe's white/blue combo is noted by Rienna since her fiancé shared those traits although she insists that her fiancé's hair is even whiter and his eyes even lighter, so I'd have to hit the palette for him too, create distinctions that aren't just tuned to my insane eyes.

Ashe's eyes take on a true blue hue called cerulean (link only to avoid confusion), and the Crayola version is what I had in mind. 

Side note: Their actual cerulean crayon was my first color crush. I actually had one that was poorly mixed as a kid so the radiant blue sometimes streaked with flecks of deep green. Every time I used it, brilliant scenes of mermaids and seagulls and worlds where the sea and sky blurred together filled my mind. Sadly, I haven't found another with that magic since but it remains vivid.

As for Ashe, his character is almost irritatingly playful. Seemingly simple-minded and shallow, happy-go-lucky and content to follow but comfortable enough to lead. I needed his coloration to eliminate any hint of coldness, to mask the horrors of his past as much as his outer persona did. If anything, he is adaptable and even perceptive, allowing himself to be insulted or confronted, taking no offense to someone blowing off steam. He knows when to be serious, but it is also a shallow mantle, one he doesn't fasten on too tight and is keen to shed as soon as possible. He is black and white in one container, which makes him a truly interesting character to develop.

Now that Ashe had his runway moment, I'll sneak peak the next color-porn feature to come with... Night. Oy. I'm going to be a pain in the ass again, but he's the dark child of my heart and I'm going to have to justify my pain-in-the-ass distinctions again.

Are you the master of your workflow or is there a chip (or chunk) in your armor? Feel free to vent or brag below!

Time Travel: Doesn't Have to be a Paradox

I have one blog tag under the subject 'time travel' so I may be rehashing some things I brought up before, but I'm fairly certain that one mostly covered its introduction in the UnQuadrilogy. Although I want to assume this is going to be going in a different direction.

Let's start off by my admittance that I wouldn't claim to be deep in the logic holes of time travel as a possibility or not. I rather like the concept of a multiverse, a sort of tragic twist to the Quantum Leap idea where you might be able to return to a version of your world CLOSE to the one you leapt from, but it's very likely that the pioneers of 'time travel' will never truly get to dial into their EXACT point of departure ever again. Not enough to create a gaping butterfly effect in what you knew, but it would be a thorn in the paw sort of difference-- if everything seems right, but your brown-eyed sister is blue-eyed instead. It would either be something you could reconcile with or you'd always wonder if the people you'd really left behind were mourning somewhere.

There are so many emotional aspects to the logical that there's hardly a reason to feel constrained by any logic string you build from. It might be interesting to dive into conspiracy or sci-fi forums dedicated to mulling it over or it might be a little too deep-web for some people. If you wanted to wing it a bit, I could see it very well developing somewhere in between the branches of a character tree and the stacking of a timeline format. If that sounds confusing, let's just use the conceptual vocabulary here. Time travel, as a character, is essentially a choose-your-own-adventure build. From each possibility that exists, they would be a set of consequences. Some people find the sheer amount of choices staggering, so to make it simpler to you, I might suggest maybe drawing up 3-4 scenarios to outline. Keep in mind, each of these would branch to represent a direction you want the affected characters to develop in. This would keep it from feeling too rigid, but if you accept that it would be pretty tough for anyone to follow your exact creative logic, then you might have a single path already carved out with a distant second to represent another choice they didn't take (the presence of a doubt for a path they might have chosen).

Coders are probably following me well enough but I'll give you a choice tree picture to better illustrate the verbiage here.

Yes, you've probably seen funny memes just like this on social media, actually...

So, don't be confused by this, which resembles an asset map for a rigged 3D model in animation. You really don't need to read it to understand the concept of an organized planning tree.

The first example is the simplest- a sort of yes/no binary whereas the second contains branches that connect many assets, more along the lines of a choose your own adventure book. I say this because if you were trying for 'all of the endings', you sometimes noticed how you'd arrive at the same path when you diverged at some point before. It might have been mildly frustrating to reread it, but you could at least note that you were finishing the two possible choices in that scenario at least and if you ran into a third time? Time to start over or backtrack, right?

Assume your time travel does not have the luxury of flipping back like turning a page (although the movie Butterfly Effect did illustrate how you might think you were doing so just to make it increasingly worse and alien). Are there certain conditions to be met to proceed? Blue key for the blue door? Okay, that was patronizing since I know everyone can do better plotting than that (although let's never rule that out in a comedic satire). 

In Quantum Leap, Sam had to fulfill the purpose of the body he leapt into until Al could figure out where he was going next. It was largely comedic but there was an emotional element in that each connection with these human beings seemed to disconnect him further from who he actually was and returning to himself whole seemed slimmer. Some of the people he became were pure and even weak in a way he'd never had to deal with as himself (and yes, I do mean women because historically and even now, we're not exactly in a place to overpower men physically) and some were morally bankrupt, which gave him the troubled conscience of whether he should or could help them at all at what cost to himself.

I loved that that show could dive into deep emotional aspects, in a way that female writers might tackle it as well-- a mix of action, comedy and emotion that was neither too masculine or feminine, simply the human struggle. However, rather than fangirl all over it, we'll move on.

Once you use a sort of tree to map the developmental aspect, you can move into a more linear assortment to choose the path, rather than strictly a chronology as you would with a normal timeline. This is more to map the path of your story, but if you want to mark specific departures, then stacking time lines to mark those as 'scenes' would work too. You get the benefit of the linear path with the flexibility of multiple branches.

Again, a purely visual example of the explanation.

Some people can get away with mostly verbal trees but if you know your way around design programs or spreadsheets, you can generate the given examples with little hassle. Table it or even go the style-sheet route-- these aids for complex ideas are for YOU to navigate optimally so they don't really have to make much sense to anyone else if they work for you.

And yes-- NaNoWriMo is around the corner, so I'm doing a bit of this planning myself while working on UnSung. I'd probably be further on it, but I like to use these blog breaks to ruminate on the creative processes I'm using. About 6K shy of 200K! I'm hoping to pop the 200K mark by the end of the week or blast well past it.

For my fellow stat geeks though...

Ha, I'm clearly not very 'professional', jumping around like this, but who can resist sticking it to every fuckstick manager that ever accused me of that?

You'll run into contradictions here and there. You might need a helpful nerd or two to dig through your blind spots. Some might be rigid pains-in-the-ass and hate your logic, but it's still good practice to be thankful for being critical or passionate enough to irritate you and go with your gut if you are ever more certain that's what you want for your story. If you're rejecting EVERY suggestion, you are very likely wasting the point of having anyone look at it at all. Be honest with yourself beforehand-- were you just hoping they'd worship your ideas or were you really open to having it picked apart and tested?

That's a decent chunk to let you mull over. If you feel confident I might be able to help you, feel free to request some of my time. I can't promise I can be immediately available but I am sincere about helping when I can.

To finish, as promised, I'm digging out Dinsch's hair/eye color for today's color-porn fun. This one might be a little challenging because of it's deceptive simplicity. The white I chose is actually a very light shade of green, making it a tad cooler than a cream with its yellow-orange base. Why did I want a green-tinted white? The natural complement of a red is a green! Although true red and green are nauseating (I like forest green/burgundy for the Christmas season), you can definitely get the right complements for them with saturation and hue adjustments. As for the red, rather than roll this one around, I took to the HTML preset of firebrick, a bright red reminiscent of fleshly oxidized blood, which is essentially what unpigmented red eyes get their color from. Ocular fluid being clear would only reflect light to give it a brighter base color.

Like most albinos, they aren't naturally adapted to blend and even in community-minded animals, they are generally regarded in the same vein as the old or sick-- the ones that must sometimes be sacrificed to preserve the stronger ones. Rabbits may choose to join burrows to create a warren but don't exactly prefer to be communal. They're just the hippies of the animal world and are just okay with it. When threatened, it's every rabbit for itself.

However, Bryfolk are neither human nor rabbit and their identity is not solely one of their animal ancestors' instincts anymore than humans are bound to a general mindset. Bryfolk tend to embrace communal living and are very social, libertines with relaxed social interactions though tensed for flight at signs of danger.

Next post: Ashe. He's a human character, one of the last remaining survivors of his tattooed tribe. His history is one of the grittiest and tragic, but I'll go into that a bit more then.

Do you use any animal hybrid themes in your writing? It can be a very niche one. I actually find it laughable that people could watch Shape of Water and think 'bestiality' to be honest. Like anything different from our little niche of hairless monkey is somehow less-than or wildly different. While I'm personally not into the furrier side of the spectrum (I still prefer to hybridize the face and body as more human in order to justify the human lifespan and stabilize the addition of animal characteristics), I wouldn't see something that structurally human and assume that they weren't more like us than animals. The entire point of the movie, communicated through Elisa herself, was that she could relate to 'the asset', being treated as stupid or lesser simply for being mute. It was also clear that, not socialized, he had wild aspects as well, but again, not different from an isolated human.

This was actually reaffirming towards my own logic of humans that might have grown from something other than monkeys. I specifically use rabbits, birds, big cats, and foxes in my series. Since they evolved very specifically into separate humanoid races/identities, going crazy with dog/wolf, reptile, etc. might have needed many, many more books to integrate.

In any case, if you'd like to share your own human-animal combinations (and yes, dragonkin count), feel free to comment below! Totally understand the hesitation to divulge on a current work, but you can nod your head and name your combo at least. Thanks for reading!

Coming Up With Fantasy Names

The easy answer? Name generators, the many many baby name dictionaries...

However, that's always the patronizing one, isn't it? It doesn't show much consideration for the deeper aspects of why a name resonates, why an original name can make all the difference, in fantasy especially.

So what are you looking for? Here are some of the basics I consider while hunting for a name:

• Meaning: even if you want a wholly original name, you might want to consider combining names with cardinal meanings. I use names meaning flame and rain in UnSung (Aiden and Talia). If they had a child, I might name it Aylia or Talen, some variation of combination. It doesn't have to be so cutesy an arrival, but combining can give you the aesthetic base of a name that is still uncommon without being nauseating.
• Regional consideration: this can also combine with racial/cultural difference but if you have vastly different people, you may consider distinctions in preferred sound and language. Commas might become a cultural trend. Warlike tribes might favor harsher consonant sounds while scholarly cultures might embrace the cadence of vowel sounds.
• Unconventional: in certain cases, names are not loving or considerate. A street urchin may have a common name or one akin to an object, even a nickname. Goblins might get names with odd compound word combos (Nobcorn or Henpeg-- just play with it). The more you can distance it from Earth culture, the less you have to suspend disbelief.
• Accent marks: I'll throw out a name like Kvothe. Most people won't say this 'right' but then most authors are fine with that. (It's something along the lines of lines of keh-vohth, but a quick transition between the kv and just a hard 'o'. The e is ignored). If there's some insistence on a pronunciation, accent marks can be a good guide, but you'll have to remember to type it every time. Accent marks may present formatting problems since not all fonts support or display them properly. You can also use conversation, someone teasing how it's said deliberately or something along those lines. PRO TIP: if you already have a uniquely spelled name, you can control/command-F to find it, then Find and Replace the unaccented name with the accented version. Unless you're a natural at the keyboard shortcut for accents, this will keep you from breaking the flow in drafting and save time in editing.
• Test: even once you find one you think you like, test it out loud. Names are rarely actually said in natural speech. Names are more for introducing or getting their attention, scolding or teasing.  You'll use descriptions more often to direct who is speaking and to whom. I've gotten sick of a name I thought I liked or something just didn't sit right once used a lot. Remember though, that in real life, people often have unsuited names so you can poke fun at that too. He might not 'feel' like a Bob, but he just is.
• Common: nothing wrong with Bob, John, Karen, Ann or Sue. Except the presence of a great deal of common names tends to disinterest readers. If your main character is lamentably just regular earthling Joe, then his trip to a fantasy world with Celestyne, Van'Hanara and Jekoura stands out. Even his attempt to nickname them Tina, Hannah and Joe to simplify would be interesting (and rejected as absurd to them).

Look at the many colorful examples of languages already available. English is one language where 'consonant clashing' happens. Languages like Japanese are heavy on the flowing vowel sounds. Kleb sounds abrupt, yet Kaleb softens it tremendously. Women's names are often light chains of vowels. Men's names tend to end in rough or final consonants. Many names that don't follow this area gender-neutral where they originate-- or it's a masculine choice in one region but heavily feminine in another.

Remember, when you set the norms for your world and regions, you can also set the name outside of convention to use as part of the conflict or development of character. I know it's not chronologically organic (worlds exist before the people shaped by it) but a writer often benefits most from creating out of order. I personally tweak worlds and characters alike to ultimately fit the story. Yes, it can be a massive edit to tweak worlds and characters for that purpose but I also feel it's up to me to struggle for what I think is best for my work.

It is worth it to follow your own rabbit hole here but I hope this brings up some helpful points to consider. Sound has a mood, a meaning, an intent, so I get why people struggle to convey what they mean when they ask how to pick a name. They don't need the lazy pseudo-intellectual assholes with their Google-send solution. They're looking for the visceral connection a name bears on the character itself. 

Aw, hell, why not end on some color porn combo fun? From Encycolorpedia, I give you Rienna's hair and eyes color combo: Chestnut brown and a 'polo' grey with a green undertone. I like to cool or warm greys and browns to saturate them a bit and because her hair is warm, I wanted to polarize her eyes to visually reveal aspects of her character. Since writing and drawing are not always about imitation but optimizing the possibilities of fantasy, I like to cement characterizations with color quirks like this. She is a simmering and restless woman that tries to emulate her father's steely authority. She wars with earning respect on her own merits while maintaining her identity as a woman.i didn't write her to be a 'strong woman' in the sense that she truly thinks she can meet men on their own level, but she does believe she has the unique ability to best them with her own advantages. She has a streak of recklessness and sometimes takes on more than she can actually handle but the follies of youth don't prevent her from adapting to new lessons.

Next post, I'll throw in Dinsch's hair/eyes combo. He's an interesting one, my Bryfolk-- a rabbit-human hybrid whose albinism only affected his rabbit genes.

What significance, if any, do color choices have on your characters?

Why I Started Coloring with Orange

I've had this weird aversion to the color orange for as long as I can remember. It wasn't a strong feeling because if it had been, I might have been conscious of it. It seemed every year I was in school, the school would demand 'new' school supplies, which meant more colored pencils. We'd just dump the rest into the big box at home and never really look at them ever again.

At least until I was older. Sorting them out, it became immediately clear that the oranges were almost never sharpened, still with the vertical ridges of the original factory sharpening visible even. I knew by then that I often had a preference for dark or cool colors-- blues, greens, purples, but also deep reds and golden yellows/browns, but I was still steering clear of orange.

Again, not sure why. In 7th grade, one of my favorite outfits involved a sleeveless orange tank and a long purple zippered jacket. Orange with purple seemed to be the only exception. In fact, some of my favorite tropical flowers are orange and purple.

Visually, the complementary colors also don't speak to me. I like purple with orange, not yellow. Blue with red, not orange. Green with yellow, not red. I think the whole red and green thing was something I found obnoxious about Christmas unless it was more like a burgundy and forest green. It would have been nice to know why I had a visual stubbornness, but at the same time, people were always complimenting me on my very different color choices.

One of the things I possess is a very handy Color Layout book I got in college. Even though I manage to find some great color combinations I resonate with, I still tend to find the fundamental 'complements' a lot pickier in my shade preference tolerance. Remember the fad involving hot pink and chocolate brown? I could dig that combo and I'm also not a fan of hot-anything where colors are concerned. I still think a bubblegum pink or turquoise is absolutely amazing with a brown, although fuchsia and brown is a close third.

I didn't want to be color stubborn. I didn't want to be inflexible or even start to lean too hard on pieces where people liked the colors. I liked to note that for future use, but I still intended to be experimental, to find other people's color preferences outside of my own.

Orange was not an easy color for me to want to use though. I ended up making peace with a creamsicle orange. A really vibrant orange cone shade can even work as a single focal point in a composition. Sometimes I lean out of orange and end up closer to peach, but I still try to find places for orange. As an artist, I need to understand how I can make colors work. There are many people who ask me to do art and they love the color orange. It just feels like I'm copping out if I won't do it because I don't like orange.

Hey, I've done the same with fears. Although I'm not going to list them in a public forum, there are many that I've turned from phobias to just uncomfortable and inconvenient. To me, my aversion to orange wasn't something I wanted to become comfortable with though. I wanted the challenge of using it to be stronger than my feelings for it. How could I use it in a way that didn't ruin the visual for me?

Of course, you'll probably find some speculative psychology behind it, but it doesn't sound like a solution nor will it really enlighten you about me. There are a lot of things that I realize are potentially destructive unconscious habits that, once brought to light, I find it most important to go ahead and challenge them.

What about you? Are you comfortable in certain anti-productive preferences or habits? How would challenging them help you grow?

All right, blogging is fun, but time to jump over to writing. I got a nice little break from it yesterday when my dear friend Emily paid a visit, but I should put a little mileage into it today. I have some scheduled posts attacking topics like bigotry and what we attack writers for writing about coming up, just in case I get a little too involved to remember to blog. Handy little thing, that. Makes me seem a lot more present or frequent even when I'm pounding out a few posts then disappearing for a week or so. See you around! Hope you find some fun rabbit holes to explore!