Showing posts with label struggle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label struggle. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

"Kids These Days Get Awards for Everything!"

As a statement, I'd simply agree, but since it's always said with derision, there's a clear lapse in perspective that needs to be addressed.

Let's start with a little background. Where I live is one of the places where the school district was crumbling so badly over time that we were one of the places chosen on a government stimulus to revive the condition of our schools. The middle school and high school always accommodated all of the kids in our district, right in the middle of town, whereas the elementary schools were always kind of floating, 2 or 3 at a time, in buildings on the edges of our not-so-illustrious parts of town. Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say we're impoverished here. However, while it was mostly middle class here when growing up, downtown Cincinnati began gentrifying the historical areas downtown, effectively pushing poor urban families into neighborhoods where rental houses were becoming more abundant.

Therefore, this area is now more populated by less wealthy families. Even in high rent areas they can't sustain long, the cost of moving is far less doable than taking on rent they can't afford and simply hoping they can make ends meet, job opportunities and raises will come along, before they're evicted for falling behind too much.

The anxiety of this factor is not a minor problem here and those home and lifestyle problems are very real to a great deal of the children here. Our district sees some of the lowest test scores and the highest dropout rates. However, building a huge new school in the middle of town has become a sort of sanctuary for these struggling kids and it could be much worse the way things were before. The teachers try to assimilate some of the most troubled kids with the kids who are more well-adjusted, but it's just as true that they have to create environments that don't drag down high performing kids. It's been a frustrating struggle, but the schools have been doing a wondrous job in, not just pushing kids to succeed, but also giving them incentives to develop into adults.

One of those successful reforms comes as awards. This year, they started using a tier system. Tier 3 kids are the lowest performing and will not be promoted to the next grade. Tier 2 kids are struggling and may not be able to handle more demanding work. Tier 1 kids are average and above, the kids that only need further encouragement to keep performing well. Tier 1 kids are given the privilege of field trips while Tier 2 kids are considered, based on how hard they are trying. You truly have to be neglecting school work to even be Tier 3. So Tier 3 isn't necessarily punished. These kids are often personally tutored, either by Tier 1 kids or community volunteers, and any show of improvement gets them off of Tier 3 in a heartbeat.

It's important to know that only teachers and the individual student know their tier number. They are allowed to share it with peers but it's discouraged, just as much as talking about how much money you make at your job. It's not a scarlet letter, just a measure of how much attention needs to be focused on their ability to succeed on that grade level. You wouldn't believe how healthy it is for these kids. They don't throw numbers at these kids, just goals for personal success. Turning the competition into a personal goal keeps them from getting frustrated with themselves for not being like their peers, frustrated with each other for the need to best one another.

To further press that point, my nephews perform at the top tier, but there is zero arrogance about it, no bullying based on being 'nerds' nor any perceived privilege. One of their friends quite plainly told me at the end of the year that he was Tier 3 and was staying in the same grade. He didn't have a brusque or defeated attitude about it and I reflected the same back, with the encouragement that it's good that he'll be able to focus on learning the work and it happens. One of my nephews moved into a school district with stricter requirements once so he was set back a grade. It's not an indication of intelligence and high school is a new ballgame.

One of the ways these kids are successfully moving up in their tiers is because they are recognized for 'simply' improving. They have awards for citizenship, which amounts to simply being kind to each other. They have awards for showing up. I know that sounds absurd all by itself but this is a school district where the breakfast and lunch served at school are the only meals some of these kids get. Kids walk in the snow without coats and in the rain without umbrellas, the same kids that can't afford school supplies or uniforms. We don't shame those kids here. Any kid can walk into our school offices and tell the secretaries they need clothes or supplies and they get them, no questions asked. Some of the kids go home to negligent or abusive parents, sometimes parents they need to take care of. 

Schools are not the place to throw every kid into boot camp on the harsh realities. While the curriculum is definitely something schools need to improve, some of these kids are already hitting hard realities at home. A shaky economy and the stress that comes with it are factors these kids are all too aware of. If it takes a few pieces of paper and pats on the back to keep these kids on their feet, the least we can do is stop hissing through our teeth about their privilege.

Until you've actually gone to parent-teacher conferences, assemblies and know exactly why these schools are using these methods, it's best that you hold your tongue against the vitriol of assumptions.

Statewide reform needs vast improvement. Curriculums need more life skills and artistic classes to balance academically. Test scores need less weight on measure of performance. But as for these schools, some of them are really reaching kids, at the very least initiating them towards adulthood without dismissing their childhood.

Kids these days need very different things than you and I did. Don't begrudge them systems that actually work. You didn't have internet, you didn't have social media, you didn't have this shithole economy looming over your career prospects fresh out of school. Give these kids an award just for being on the right path. Let them anticipate rewards/compensation for things done right. Think of it as their paycheck if you must. They do earn it.

Monday, September 3, 2018

Hooray! First World Problems

I know. I'm first-world broke, not third-world. I have basic needs covered and then some-- not just food and water (and coffee), not just electricity and sanitary, not just technology and time to chase dreams. But it did take me three weeks to save up Amazon giftcards, small royalties, and a few bucks I had on my dresser for the $40 I needed to use my laptop, scanner on my printer and make sure I don't starve my fish.

Can't say it doesn't wound me that I don't have a reliable income for working. That I can't brag about being a steady entrepreneur or a successful freelancer, that my contributions are still in infancy even though I'm a workaholic towards my goals. It does suck and it isn't a place that people really relate to (never mind that they also can't claim working 15 years in retail hell like I can). Even though I can say I avoid disability and welfare and only have health insurance (at least until someone butchers healthcare again), I don't pay taxes. Not as fun as you think since my city still requires me to file with my zero taxable income (you have to make at least $3000 a year to be taxed-- I don't come close). I don't even get the excuse of being a housewife, just a caretaker of two young boys. Like a parent but without the legal perks. I'm pretty much an au-pair that is related to my charges. 

While I don't like excuses, I don't have neat little labels. I even brag about how well I avoid them and adapt to what I am without resting on any laurels. I don't even know how to classify my health. While my work is sedentary, two hours of every day is dedicated to brisk walking and I mind my diet (while not restricting that either). When something isn't flaring up, it's good/great. When it's bad, I still want to say average/fair because I've known worse.

On a scale, we're always kind of fucked. There will always be someone who has it better and worse. It's actually possible to be grateful it's not worse but wishing for something better. I once considered myself a liberal because of this variable thinking and in the purest form, I am. However, moderate is what I call it since the far left and right have ruined what it means to be conservative and liberal, even for themselves. I haven't gotten narrow-minded, I'm just less tolerant of thought-policing for some perception of the 'greater good'. I'm not intolerant, just not willing to accommodate the power dynamics of complete strangers. 

As a writer, original pronouns best serve their purpose. Throw on some more adjectives and I'm good, but pronouns don't need more distinctions. Stranger, you are that person over there. First world separations are not being inclusive but creating exclusivity, demands that require people to perform mental and social gymnastics to accommodate you. To someone like me, (and to use one of your stupid fucking words) YOU are an ableist. I can't wrap my literal fucking head around it and it's just NOT useful to anyone.

Of course, I can be a dreadfully passive writer at times to form the general example. (Although 'you' is mistaken for direct, it's one of the subtleties I CAN wrap my head around.) 

People should not support your delusions though and it's something I came to understand when battling my own mental issues. If people had always just waved off my bullshit, supported it, I never would have learned how to confront it. Being completely intolerant was hurtful, but there's a difference between what you put your family and friends through and what you expect from strangers. We, as a society, should understand the presence of mental illness but it is still partially the responsibility of the affected to genuinely attempt to adapt to it themselves, not place that burden solely on the world around them.

I know. First world problems are laughable in comparison. They're still a real aspect of the individual and it's not too much to allow each person some sense of dignity and benefit of the doubt without expecting the world to bend over backwards and kiss your ass. I did not save up $40 the smartest and fastest way possible. But I fucking did it and I'm psyched that small things can feel good too. Easier writing, easier scanning, happy fish. One to three things at a time.

And a happy birthday to my 13-year-old nephew Dameon who changes my life daily and someday may change the world. I'm so proud of him.