Showing posts with label focus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label focus. Show all posts

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Be Thankful, But Not Too Thankful

Thankful? Sounds like a great topic to cover for Thanksgiving!

The number of sales you get will rarely ever add up to the amount of people who actually buy it. This was something I came to realize well before I became a published author. In the past I would endlessly gush, give them that feel good response before they'd actually follow through. Yet it would be a response unequal to the actual follow-through and my sales records, humble as they are, always pointed to the reality. They'd gotten their cookie then skipped out.

Over time, I've learned the best way to prompt a follow-through was to deliver a pitch anyway. Let them know how enthusiastic I am about their interest and my work, then ask them to post a public pic to help promote if they do. In that way, I could keep my enthusiasm up regardless of the follow-through and not cringe when it didn't happen. Rather than get my hopes up, I learned to just use it as an opportunity to promote myself and interact, which was how I balanced out the reward system.

Talking about marketing can make my skin crawl. It's a lot about underhanded maneuvers that I just never got comfortable with. Promotion has to have an element of real connection for me or I arouse too much suspicion about whether my work is worth it. That's something I know better than to discuss, something as personal as someone asking me how much money I make. When you display any doubt, you give people room to haggle and bully you out of honest work. I've had people try to ask me to make a complex crocheted piece for less than the cost of the yarn. I've had people who never bought my work message me just to say I was charging too much in-game money (currency you get free just for logging in, at that) for a style they don't like. It's part for the course, but rather than take the bait, I wish them luck and politely encourage them to look elsewhere. I won't undercut myself or another creative by devaluing what I do and neither should you! If your work is worth it to someone, rejoice! If it isn't, put it behind you. Chances are, your work is demanding enough as is and trying to change to please everyone will weaken your work until the quality itself degrades.

Sometimes, a bit of negativity can lead you on a gem hunt you haven't considered. Your outright trolls can unknowingly lead you to something you hadn't considered. Creatives are problem solvers first and foremost so a snide remark can be worth consideration, even if it's in the opposite direction. I didn't start imitating the Dragon Ball Z artwork one person grumbled about wanting, but I did consider adding more variation to my style (although it leaned on realism more than shonen anime). On occasion, I'll even ask someone to throw a challenge at me, something they haven't seen from me (for the record, I did do Toriyama style artwork in high school. It was short-lived because it wasn't what held my interest). Don't automatically take a bitter pill with even outright venom. Throw a little sugar on it and leave 'em salty!

Being grateful if not polite is always where my range tends to sit. However, I WILL gush endlessly when my supporters come through. Erika, one of my dearest friends, always lets me know when she has my next book on the way. Emily, one of my oldest friends, even when she's strapped for cash, she'll ask for my books for her birthday or Christmas from her family. My dad usually gets a copy both for himself and me. Debbie is not only a dear friend but a longtime supporter of my art, even a patron through Patreon! She not only buys my books, she also bought me a congratulations on being published gift, a USB key I keep all of my files on to wear as a necklace. My aunt bought at least the first book and one of mom's old school mates, Bob Halloran, bought the first two for his niece. 

I also know these are it for the print sales, but I track and remember all of the people who come through while I struggle to be taken seriously. These are the people I've wholeheartedly thanked for coming through. I also have friends who share my sales links or allow me to post on their channel. It doesn't matter that they haven't made my work explode; it only matters that they care enough to show some support.

Thanking people when they come through is very important to me. Otherwise, I briefly thank people for their interest or support anyway. I have zero reviews but that's okay too. I don't drain my resources on chasing them down, just focus on my work and the ones who give me a chance. I'm working towards the next big milestone-- completing my adult epic fantasy UnQuadrilogy. I have more ideas lined up. My idea of celebrating is usually jumping right into the next goal. The when of that is in the air since I follow the ideas. 

However you choose to accept your victories, water down what could be a defeat. Humility doesn't mean sinking into depression. The idea of letting someone break me down only angers me these days. No one gets that power. External gratification can be amazing, but keep a reserve of self-empowerment on the ready. In most cases, your detractors don't have the courage you do. Yet even if a famous author tears you to shreds, it's actually never a better reason to stick with it. Hell, run with it! 'Read the book (famous author) said makes them choose to eat cat shit on a dare rather than read it!'

Have any stories to share of how you overcame negative critics? I'm interested!

Saturday, September 29, 2018

The Art of Listmaking

Many years ago, I caught my best friend chuckling at me for making a list of video games I wanted to buy. Curious, I asked her why. With an affectionate eye-roll, she told me that it was one thing her husband and I had in common that she'll never understand.

While her husband and I very likely have different reasons for the habit, I can say for certain that it effectively does a lot of favors for me: it keeps me from impulsive spending when my broke-ass does have money and it helps me decide what is valuable and what is worth my time. 

(When it comes to shopping lists, I tend to have another rule when it comes to temporary and permanent decisions. If I still want a thing after six months, then I should buy it. For things like tattoos and piercings, it's actually a six YEAR rule. Loosely-- I don't ACTUALLY count the years, but if I've noticed the desire remains for years, I understand it's not passing. The 'six' part just sounds nicer.)

Small notepads are stashed everywhere in my room and they typically have a simple purpose-- daily and weekly lists. Monday, Wednesday and Friday tend to be my target active days so I plan for those the day before. I scribble down what I hope to get done and throw on some maybes. If I don't do it all that day, I push it to another-- Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays tend to be 'leftover' days because of this. No, I don't heavily plan this. It seems to just be the way I work best. It's really not as structured as it seems, but I'll get to that.

None of my planning necessitates anything as formal (or time-consuming) as a day planner. If I really need to keep track of an event, I just use an electronic calendar. This goes for repeating events especially (thank you, birthday reminders). What works best is disposable notepads for the variables of life. At the top are priorities of that day. In the middle is an ordered list of quick tasks and maybes. At the bottom are ongoing projects I can choose from. These are still priorities but of the 'Rome wasn't built in a day' sort.

Here's the thing-- once I write them, I rarely need the list but not writing them almost guarantees I'll forget something. On days where I'm really not motivated, checking things off is an odd incentive. Writing and marking things off is one of the easiest rewards systems for functioning according to plan. This is the same reason I actually prefer to hand-write ideas in notebooks despite apps and built-in notepad functions available. I rarely ever consult the notes I write again, but there is something about the act of writing each letter by hand that seals it in my head far more effectively than typing it does. I need to connect each thought to the letters they represent whereas typing is simply a convenience for speed and neatness. I love that I can throw out my thoughts quickly, distribute them even quicker, but if I really want to remember them, there's nothing like handwriting.

Either way, I consider all of the items on a list as a suggestion. Priorities even sometimes get pushed. If I just don't feel well or something comes up, anything can move. Things that get pushed too much often get upgraded to a priority. Why? Because there's only so much pushing until it's clearly procrastination or an excuse. Then I have to look at it differently.

My obsessive habit of alphabetizing my game collections into lists actually turned into a motivational tool in this too. (What I didn't share much then was the fact that my siblings liked to steal and sell my shit so it was a safeguard for keeping track of it. Now, I just put a lock on my bedroom door.) Organization only kind of helps since my best attempts to create order are often forgotten and result in digging around trying to find them anyway. However, to-do lists continue to be a great way to keep moving, to keep refining my workflow, to keep looking for a better way to create order in the constant chaos.

You can definitely add making lists to the list of ways to fake focus. List-Inception, at its finest. Mentally or in practice, life is often a list in a list in a list...

Let's flip to the other side of this practice for a moment. For some people, not completing lists comes with a demotivational sense of failure. It's a perception you have to actively learn to discard. Seriously, regrets are shit. You can only move forward. After making a mistake, my dad used to give me a lot of shit for it but there really wasn't anything to be done to change it and if there was a way to fix it, I'd already thought about and did it. I only ever ask for advice if I've truly exhausted my own resources. (And let's face it-- most people looking for 'advice' on anything other than an opinion are simply looking for peer approval/conflict. For facts alone, Google is gonna cover your ass.) Rather than compound the guilt, you have to similarly remind your critics (or the critic that made the list/did the failure- ahem, you) that it's something you will labor not to repeat.

In that same way, this attitude helped me be less anxious of things that haven't happened yet. It's unavoidable that I'm always thinking of best and worst case scenarios, but I don't get very anxious before interviews, mainly because I know they'll either like me or not and I'll answer the questions to the best of my ability. It ceases to matter how badly I want the job or what it could mean to my future if that just means I'll be a mess where it matters. If there's any anxiety, it's me telling my mouth not to run away with the honesty of my brain. (Don't overshare, Krista.)

Lists are just another planning guide in your behavioral toolbox. A good habit in a long line of tempting bad habits. However, they have the long-term ability to develop a good attitude if you don't beat yourself up over what isn't done. Grab a whiteboard or a corkboard, a planner or a tablet and work to remind yourself daily of what might matter. Having things specifically dedicated to this habit truly helps. Tablets can be distracting, if only for the ease at which you can get distracted from taking notes/lists to hop over to FB or check messages. Again, this is why I recommend just buying stacks of cheap spiral/composition notebooks. While you can get distracted in thought, handwriting still requires purposeful marking. Even if you switch over to mindless doodling (which I do) there's a greater tendency to get back on track when your real estate is limited to the physical page and there's no 'accidentally' opening Facebook.

When you don't regret how you spend your resources, it's a valuable tool. No, it doesn't have to be daily or weekly. Sometimes people just keep a calendar. My dad is a random list maker and only when he's super motivated. If you're forgetful rather than neglectful, even better. Sometimes we tell ourselves it's neglect but this often removes that possibility when those lists are consistently met. It's not always procrastination that makes us unproductive but some simple lack of a task that keeps us ordered on our task.

I've mentioned before but puzzles are a terrific way to create a mentality for focus. I tend to avoid brain scrambling moments after taking time to hyperfocus on a task. Diet can be a huge help too. Omega 3s, found in fish or supplements, is touted as a terrific way to get your brain function on point. In truth, there's rarely ever ONE thing we do that contributes to the best methods for productivity. I really just enjoy making lists and always have. If I sat and thought about it, I could think of a time all the way back to when I learned to write words where I was making some kind of list. Even before words, there was the temptation to draw as many fruits as I could think of-- shapes, animals, etc. I've always loved to satisfy how things might be grouped according to what I need from them.

Ha, and we do get a lot of shit for grouping things these days, don't we? As if noticing the difference between men and women or skin colors, etc. is some sort of cardinal sin. Ironically, people often end up ignorant out of a fear of seeming ignorant. Stop asking, stop talking, stop searching, stop making stupid lists... Nah, take some risks that you'll look stupid to avoid actually being 'stupid' for acceptance.

I'm jumping around just to feel out what might be some mental hurdles here. I know I favor handwriting, but some people have terrible handwriting. Finding a strategy is about personal preference and resources. If anything, I'd always say adaptability is going to be key with this one as it is with most. List-making is secondhand for a lot of people, but like a lot of things, people also fall out of certain habits and don't realize its value when it could be best used.

How do lists help you through layered tasks or everyday life? How much of a hot mess are you without the joy of lists? I'm kidding, but really, lists are a pretty terrific way to assist a busy brain.

Monday, September 24, 2018

Focusing When You Can't Pay Attention

As someone who has always dealt with central nervous system mishaps, it always makes me crack up laughing when someone says they couldn't possibly accomplish as much as I do for lack of focus, inability to pay attention, however they phrase it. I'm high-functioning at best-- whether you throw a name at it or not, the symptom of 'lack of focus' is still a daily reality. I've gone over both my health challenges and creativity 'unblocking' techniques, even how I focus, but perhaps too safely-- ultimately I've neglected to honestly depict the tug of war that occurs behind the scenes. Although I'm flattered that I look to be so hardworking and productive, the reality is that it's only because I work in solitude that I can manage some semblance of focus and also have the ability to have emotional meltdowns without risking embarrassment or causing a scene.

Some people use meds to handle a more public life. If it didn't have a choice, I probably would too. I'm going to go ahead and assume you're already taking care of those individual needs since I'm no doctor and I can't possibly address all of those here even if I researched it. If you're minding your diet, getting at least two and a half hours of quality exercise a week, taking meds for your conditions, then you're already further ahead than I was when I had to build up to my current superpowers. I suppose I can't just assume it's common knowledge, but your creative health is dependent on your physical and mental health. You can't have one without the others.

The rest? It's largely about creating more healthy habits, these pertaining specifically to your goals.

1) Eliminate distractions.

Some of the things you've sworn are inspiration are purely distraction. That music that fills you with the valor of a Valkyrie. That favorite show that's given you great ideas for what you're working on. I do often work with my TV on, but it's also not the latest episode of a show I'm actively watching or even something particularly interesting. Usually low volume creates a pleasant white noise, but I keep the remote in reach to Mute as soon as I realize my ears are pulling towards it too much.

'White noise' is actually better creative therapy for some-- I personally love the sound of my fish tank filter running, a fan blowing, and the clock ticking on the wall. For some, the clock is way too indicative of passing time, too marked, so this isn't one I'd say is universal. I'm aware that some people can study to heavy metal/thrash music as well, but I'm sound-sensitive. Even my own choice of music is something I can only enjoy at certain volume levels depending on mood.

It's perfectly fine to get distracted, but if you often find that it's not producing anything outside of procrastination and feelings, then you need to note the risk and either substitute it with something more meaningful to your goals or just get rid of it. I like to work in relative silence most of the time. I do keep playlists of music without English words or any language at all but those are mostly something I enjoy on breaks rather than ever use while writing.

2) If you can't eliminate, turn it into inspiration.

Many of the sounds and sights in life are unavoidable but they don't have to terminate creative processes. I've raised my nephews so I know kids can be a big weight on how efficient you can work. It's VERY difficult to get into a flow state when kids seem to both have the worst timing and a need for attention, no matter how independent they are. There were definitely stages where creativity had to come in stolen moments until they were older. It was an odd mix of depressing and educating. I learned to become both patient and opportunistic.

Get your 'distractions' involved, however you can. Even if you're not writing kids' books, there are universal ideas and even fresh quirks that kids can offer your stories. If your neighbors are assholes, then maybe loud music is something you adapt to in order to drown out that annoyance. No matter what distractions must be dealt with, part of the creative process often extends beyond the work itself and is tested in how you handle life. You don't have to be 'normal' to work around what challenges you. Facing fears and doubts is how we drown them out. I'm never going to be comfortable in crowds but I do it anyway because, seriously, fuck all the things that stop you from what you really want in life. My ability to take risks is directly related to the very specific goal of why I'm doing it.

3) Admiration can be your key to turning passive planning into action.

When you tell friends, like me, that you admire me and wish you could do it, I'll almost instantly reply with 'you can.' Okay, maybe you can't have my exact level of talent nor reap the rewards of that hard work, but you already have something you can build from but you probably haven't actually tested it. I can 'do it' so it's not something only the neurotypical get to enjoy. Given, I could easily do so much more without it that I'd give it up in a heartbeat. It's not supreme focus that got me here. It's not pure passion that keeps me going. It's not even goals. I trained myself over time to change damaging impulses into productivity.

In the same way you can instantly turn the urge to party into calling up your friends to see who wants to go, you can start phoning up your mental desires. By all means, admire away, but don't just stay wistful over what you wish for. Seriously ask what it would take to do it. If it's not a hobby, start there. If it is, what would it take to take the next step? Pull out a notebook and crack open the web browser on your computer and start taking those advice lists and cherry picking what appeals. When your approach fails, there are tons more to pick next. As it turns out, some of those undesirable options from previous searches might turn into the one you love. I hated vector drawing when I first tried it. Now, it's one of my favorite ways to draw when my wrists act up.

A lot of people are overwhelmed by the idea of mastery. Mastery isn't about focus, at least not entirely. It's more often about flexibility. When the best tools aren't available, do you know how to work another way? What people most often admire is results. To get results, you often have to trudge through a lot of unconventional fixes to power through. The most flawless results are the product of great effort. People often admire what they aren't doing, but they'll develop an even greater admiration and appreciation when they actually try it for themselves. Being a mentor or involved in someone else's process is magical, but don't put your own efforts on the back burner too often.

4) Don't fixate on schedules.

You know I'm not fond of 'don't's but this is a big one, especially when you're first starting out. If you're not gifted with laser focus the minute you sit down, you might find it immediately frustrating when your mind goes blank. Go ahead and unfocus your eyes. If your brain just hums, well, I count that as blessing. At one time, I might have panicked when my brain did that, but it's also an intuitive form of meditation. Don't force thoughts into the space just because you decide it's time. Inaction is not an immediate sign of failure. If that's the part that doesn't sit right, remember Jack Torrence's carelessly typed 'all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy' in The Shining. If you need to get your fingers going, do it that way. Another idea-- don't have a clock in view or even in reach (my own ticking clock is not in immediate view). If you like to use alarms to time breaks or other priorities, keep it out of reach. Getting up to get it is a marker of putting your work down. Most computers have a customization option for turning off the onboard clock too. Even if you want to try a schedule method, there's no reason you should let time bully you into thinking you're taking up precious chunks of it. Trust me; once you get going, those brain fogs are going to be easily forgotten.

5) Stop when you want to keep writing.

You're going to need to take breaks or address unavoidable distractions at times. Keep a notepad or a note app handy at all times so you can jot down what you want to tackle when moving ahead, but keep in mind that lack of focus can happen even when the getting is good; more so when you've neatly wrapped up a big idea. Engaging focus can be largely solved by just wanting to continue badly enough. Do as many of the things you've discovered to be helpful in the past as often as you can.

But you can't put it down when it gets good! Yes, that's a discipline too. No one actually wants to, but I've found that even the most vivid ideas only get better when you can't get to them right away. However, don't let desire come in the way of taking care of yourself. If you keep putting that creative place first, your mental and physical well-being will degrade. Yes, mentally too. Because physical stress and mental health are directly related, not taking those breaks, not minding your body's need will bite you on the ass. Your metabolism can take blows that are difficult if not impossible to fix easily. I once crocheted so often that I developed a condition called trigger thumb. Because I thought I could handle marathon creative sessions, I ended up unable to use that hand for six weeks.

Carpal tunnel syndrome used to be a painful re-occurrence, but after wrist braces, corrective habits and mindful use to avoid agitating it, I can mostly forget it's there (on occasion, I agitate it by playing on a tablet too long, but if you've ever been hit by a carpal tunnel flare-up, there's no mistaking it and you immediately quit what caused it).

Don't wait until you have to stop. Don't always think that pushing it makes it better. I've read that there are actually only about 3-5 hours a day in which we are optimally productive (less prone to mistakes and on point). There's not a 'go' light on when it starts and being high-energy isn't an indication. High-energy can be restless energy so it's more likely to be a zen state you're looking for. Even then, if you can quit prior to a climactic point, the chances are higher you'll hit the ground running when you come back. Even if you've only written or worked an hour before you reach it. It's worth the risk to feel this one out.

6) Don't focus.

(Again, with the 'don't'...) Counterproductive? Maybe. What's the point? Getting to it. If in the middle of creative flow, you would rather jump ship to draw the cool animal you just thought of or you've thought of what would be amazing in some other story you're not working on, embrace it. I've come to firmly believe that discipline is not restricted to the one thing you tell yourself you should be doing (something I bring up over and over, I know). Restless moments sometimes require restless solutions. I have a yoga ball that I enjoy using as a desk chair on occasion. Useless for drawing, but I type rather well while bouncing. As far as drawing goes, I never see mistakes until I walk away from it several thousand times. Sometimes I see the big picture, sometimes I'm overly fixated on the weirdest details. The creative brain is meant to benefit from that volatility. Remember that you will have an editing phase. Editing has become my holy city. However, if you don't feel that way...

7) Do puzzles.

One of the way I've learned to organize my brain is to take advantage of visual puzzles. Jigsaw, brain teasers, word games, stacking-- doesn't matter which one, but these are all repetitive disciplines that you never solve the same way twice. Wasting a good half hour on puzzles is a phenomenal way to fake focus. This does tend to work better for women, but my grandfather is a huge fan of crosswords and my dad likes quiz shows. In order to trigger intellectual structure, the visual engagement is damn near a failsafe. Some writers do image searches to create inspirational collages, but even the most abstract sorting can stimulate a solid bout of focus.

I once had a college prep course that focused on what kind of 'learner' you are. While it's been flagged as a pseudo-science since (much like the Jungian based Myers-Briggs typing), some people often insist they are more auditory, visual, haptic, etc. I'm not big on listening so I can tell you that's not a strong suit, but most people respond splendidly to a mix of hands-on and visual, which is why puzzles are so useful. Even if your hand-eye coordination is abysmal, puzzle games tend to sharpen it due to muscle memory being linked to specific tasks.

Puzzles don't immediately demand a skill level and also ease you into a sense of accomplishment. Even when you absolutely can't solve it, you tend to mull over that problem. Learning the answer is something you rarely forget either. I can tell you the words I lost with in grade-school spelling bees-- if only because I was determined never to misspell them again. (Ulcer and whetstone, for the record-- not really common use words prior to middle school, but aggravatingly simple in retrospect.)

8) Be a tourist.

You could travel in earnest here, but this is more a nod to touching base with something more important than focus: being unsure in an unfamiliar place. It's a very stressful experience but one infused with excitement and possibility. When you think of the things you'd rather do but are repeatedly not doing them until you remember it randomly at three AM... It's time to travel. Think of those excited tourists not paying attention while snapping tons of pictures with the attention span of a squirrel. Let it be an exciting state of being. I realize this very much lines up with turning distractions into inspiration, but think of this as the next half step. Don't make this sentiment about focusing on work at all, simply gathering the experiences that make it irresistible to talk about it later.

I come across this time and again, but can't stress it enough. Productivity includes wandering. If you haven't heard Tolkien's famous quote 'Not all who wander are lost.' Even if you are technically lost, perception is more important. I wandered away from home when I was 3 years old. To panicked adults, I was lost, but I remember it differently.

I felt transient twinges of fear, wonder, curiosity, a sense of independence quite striking for a 3 year old. I still remember clutching the book (titled Snow) and my favorite My Little Pony in a patchwork sundress and puffing up as I passed Scary Tree. When I walked past it with Mommy before, I cringed and hid behind her leg, but this time all I had was my word-shield and trusty steed. Somehow, it made all the difference that day.

Find some moment of childhood curiosity. Use it to help you unlearn what productivity is. At some point, the things that formed you, that fed your imagination, were idle things. As a creative, you sometimes have to tour idly through your spaces, feel around in the dark before you turn it into a moment you can share. Creatives don't really have vacations. What might appear inactive is something we have to let people criticize for lack of understanding. Enjoy your secret smiles, sudden laughter and resting bitch face while you slip in and out of those thought processes you'll use later.

9) Do everything else.

You knew we were heading here; admit it. There is nothing more irresistible than doing something else intentionally when you actually can focus. Krista, seriously; I'm focusing and NOW you're telling me to play hard to get? Yup. Sometimes you know when you can take this risk, so go for it. On occasion, this perfectly envisioned scene only goes to nth levels beyond that when you dangle the carrot. I saved this one for last because this is something I'd save for master levels of discipline. It might take a really great day, a higher than usual energy level (again, energy isn't a sole indicator), but even a half hour of circling the prey can lead to a spectacular kill in your ability to focus. Deprivation is along the lines of absence making the heart grow fonder. Just don't push that muse too far. Another risk you must be aware of is that absence also creates the opportunity the other pieces may abandon you.

It's a process needing great care. How long can you fast before you trigger starvation? You don't truly know you've gone too far sometimes until the penalty hits. Whether you neglect focus or demand it too much, creating the balance is NOT about creating the ideals. People are groomed in modern times to fear things outside of their control and for people like me, it makes you very sick to try.

Control is an illusion. If you haven't seen the movie Instinct with Sir Anthony Hopkins and Cuba Gooding Jr., do this now. There are situations where control isn't possible and ramming your head into the wall doesn't make the wall crumble. You do have SOME control and it is over how you handle and respond to things, how you react to stimuli. Before I learned to balance diet, exercise, negativity, I was hypersensitive in none of the good ways. It's not control that made me better, but flexibility. I didn't restrict my diet, enforce exercise and sleep, etc. I based even that on its availability and probability.

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As a good friend of mine said, self-publishing is the way of the future. It's one way creatives are deciding for themselves how their work is most beneficial. Traditional may be experienced for a market, but self-publishing inspires those who work differently, shows that their methods might actually be more beneficial to the work itself. We learn to become entrepreneurs and can prioritize which aspects to handle ourselves or who to give jobs to. Like any option, it can and will be abused, but we are also giving readers more freedom to choose the content they want to see, free from the bullying of literary selection. Our focus is limited only by our choices.

That's scary too, for many people. That because these are our choices, we have only ourselves to blame. Personally, that's a huge breath of fresh air for me. In almost every instance where I was quick to blame someone else, I denied myself a valuable lesson in how I could have handled it differently. When some aspect of my work is not its best, people address me directly and it is something I can improve on. I don't just guiltily sit on my hands and say I have no clue/power to fix it or learn from it.

My blog posts can often be unfocused, but natural thought is hardly a neat and pretty process. Lists are about as close as you can get to reining yourself into the subjects at hand. Nothing wrong with not having some profound point. In most stories, we all latch onto very different aspects. I've read things that have rocked my foundation apart while others reading the same thing were unmoved. That's also a point on the subject of focus. Finding the focus of your story is not a linear path. You're not playing by the same rules of any other job and you don't need to satisfy the requirements of anyone observing you. Sometimes your ally in your fight for focus is embracing your inner squirrel.

It's stolen moments. And a lot of forgotten acorns that spawn many a forest.