Bye, Bye, Fibroma!

 Lab work came back normal and surgery has been scheduled. For the sake of women who may be searching their own options, this is my game plan.

Endometrial Biopsy: this is when a very thin suction tube is inserted past the cervix to collect a sample of the endometrium to make sure there are no conditions present that would make ablation (will talk about later) dangerous or ineffective. Instructed to eat an hour before and take ibuprofen in case of soreness. No tampons for 2-3 days after.

Surgery Day!

Three different procedures are being done at once. I go in an hour and a half before surgery to do paperwork and labs/blood work. Some medications are discontinued a week before, some 2-3 full days before; this will be explained in each case.

Lap RSO: this is short for laparoscopic right salpingo-oophorectomy. Laparoscopic surgery is done with a sort of tiny camera doctor on a tube, inserted through three small abdominal incisions; just near the navel, below the belly, and the largest will be on the left side about the level of the navel. Gas in used to put distance between the abdominal wall and organs to minimize risk of damage to nearby organs and tissue. The fallopian tubes, right ovary and fibroma will be cut, inflated into bags, broken down enough to be removed through the small incisions. This is because the right ovary has been inside the fibroma and cannot be saved but luckily the left is viable so it can provide me with regular hormonal balance. I opted to have the fallopian tubes removed so that there is less chance more fibromas or fibroids will grow back. 

Hxscope D&C: this is short for hysteroscopy with Dilation & Curettage. A hysteroscopy is to check the current condition of the uterus. Like with the biopsy, the cervix is carefully dilated then, like the laparoscopy, the hysteroscopy is meant to see and investigate the inside of the uterus. You may already know but D&C is also used to make sure a miscarriage is fully ejected and that sepsis or over-thickening of the endometrium does not cause prolonged pain and complications. Once prepared, ablation can happen.

Novasure Ablation: this is a procedure that is not done if fertility is preserved because the endometrium might be permanently stopped which makes pregnancy impossible. This is meant to regulate or stop my periods and remove risk of anemia and extreme fatigue. The endometrium is burned off. This procedure eliminates the risk of prolapse that a hysterectomy comes with but also keeps the uterus from persisting with issues started with the fibroma complications.

If the ablation doesn’t help, the hysterectomy is then the optional next step but I am hoping it will be enough. Removing more than is necessary always comes with long-term risks and after these procedures, the fibroma damage should be removed and mitigated, chances of fibroid or fibroma growth greatly reduced. Hormone therapy unnecessary with one viable ovary to continue that until natural menopause.

Recovery post-op will be restrictive in the first week or two. I have an exam one week following the surgery to touch base, perhaps do blood work again to check antigen levels, perhaps give me results on the fibroma biopsied following removal. If all goes well, I’ll be able to see my nephew graduate high school with a new lease on life!

For the time being, I am still not airing this out on social media. I believe I might post about it the day before the surgery because I do want to raise awareness but I also want privacy while I am dealing with the days leading up to it. I am still in pain and limited and don’t want to feel obligated to update or gracefully accept sympathy throughout. I’ve told people I’m close to and I do blog here but I’ve never hyped up my blog so I have very few followers anyway. If I didn’t message you, it’s because I know you’ve read my blog so I will keep this updated in that case.

I am on private FB groups for fibroid support and I highly advise any woman who is going through this frustrating journey to wellness to join them. Many even allow you anonymous posting if you are afraid someone you know may find out what you’re not ready to talk about. It can be much easier to talk with strangers than to get the emotions of people invested in you. No shame in that!

My Favorite F-Word

Not that one; friends!

I got to go to a Coheed and Cambria concert last night. It's been over a decade since I've been to a concert and I've never heard their music before. However, my friend Joe is one of those people who has a really good (or at least aligned with my own) tastes in music so I let myself go to be surprised and really enjoyed 'discovering' them this way. 

Before that, another dear friend confided in me over a really stressful issue she didn't feel comfortable sharing with anyone else. Even though there's little in my power I can do, I did offer those things in my power (listening or any action she decided to take that needs a crew). It always feels good to be that trusted person and more so when I can get them out of a situation when they decide to take a big step.

Today, my friend Erika posted pictures of my paperback copies of my latest series, which was even more icing on the cake. It always feels amazing to have your friends brag on you, especially since I don't have those 'participation award' sort of friends that don't act like you shit gold with every step.

I used to be the sort that would commiserate with others over the only two friends they actually have, but that would be a self-effacing lie that discredits the wonderful people I'm grateful to have in my life. Even if I only see some of these people twice a year or haven't met them off of the internet at all, there are simply people in my life that I could consider best friends, loyal friends I share meaningful conversations with, that can't be ranked less than friends. There's simply none of the restrained politeness that you'd assign to acquaintances.

Every once in a while, I can ascribe general positivity to some of my limitations and I can't deny that my friendships rarely stay in the small talk category for long. Both I and them know pretty quickly whether we click or not and we dive right into the meat of each other's lives. There are always areas where we clash but rather than fan those flames, we gladly pass those places up and connect on more common ground. If I am down-to-earth or kind or intelligent, it's easily because I keep those closest who let me be that person without shame. If they seem I am flustered or start to stammer, they don't point it out or agitate it, knowing it will pass on its own. I'll laugh, slow down my speech or stop then catch up and all is good.

It's not that the world around me has to take the lead from me. I know it's just as much self-discipline that teaches me to accommodate others and some will not play nice. Walking away from hostility works too. However, for those most patient, I am also able to be a great friend to them. Even as a retail worker, I tended to reward kinder people with better recommendations, sale items, and personalized information, simply for letting me be helpful. You don't have to exhaust yourself with a false face to navigate the world, just be open enough to let people be themselves. Don't take it personally when a stranger treats you like garbage. It's never personal because they don't know you--it's harder for a lot of people to be honest with those they are closest to so they sometimes see strangers as the better choice to take that out on. In most cases, you find a place between firm and kind. Don't let them step on you but also don't let them make you defensive. Often, I see hostility melt into apology and exhaustion rather than continue. When they're too ruffled to stop, there's the walk away.

And yes, even with customers. In fact, I often go straight to a manager on duty, explain that I walked away and ask them to handle it then I'd excuse myself to the bathroom to calm down. At that point, I'm usually so close to a panic attack that I can hear my heart hammering in my ears but I never ask to the restroom. If I ever have the sort of manager that tried to discipline me for that, it's a job I will walk away from. However, even my worse bosses have not gone to that length. It's no longer than a usual bathroom break and I come back a blank slate, ready to go.

You can't be afraid that the world will punish you for taking the initiative. Knowing how to be a productive worker is nothing you need permission for so don't ask for it. Handle it and show you know what you're doing. There's no benefit to bottling as if they own the air your breathe and over medicating to suppress valid human reactions. People who latch onto how badly you need the job will use that against you sometimes. Give them your best, the best YOU know how, and you might be surprised by how your situation could improve.

There will always be parts of your life you shouldn't take to work, things you'll contain in the moment.

But that's what friends are for, right? 

Be Thankful, But Not Too Thankful

Thankful? Sounds like a great topic to cover for Thanksgiving!

The number of sales you get will rarely ever add up to the amount of people who actually buy it. This was something I came to realize well before I became a published author. In the past I would endlessly gush, give them that feel good response before they'd actually follow through. Yet it would be a response unequal to the actual follow-through and my sales records, humble as they are, always pointed to the reality. They'd gotten their cookie then skipped out.

Over time, I've learned the best way to prompt a follow-through was to deliver a pitch anyway. Let them know how enthusiastic I am about their interest and my work, then ask them to post a public pic to help promote if they do. In that way, I could keep my enthusiasm up regardless of the follow-through and not cringe when it didn't happen. Rather than get my hopes up, I learned to just use it as an opportunity to promote myself and interact, which was how I balanced out the reward system.

Talking about marketing can make my skin crawl. It's a lot about underhanded maneuvers that I just never got comfortable with. Promotion has to have an element of real connection for me or I arouse too much suspicion about whether my work is worth it. That's something I know better than to discuss, something as personal as someone asking me how much money I make. When you display any doubt, you give people room to haggle and bully you out of honest work. I've had people try to ask me to make a complex crocheted piece for less than the cost of the yarn. I've had people who never bought my work message me just to say I was charging too much in-game money (currency you get free just for logging in, at that) for a style they don't like. It's part for the course, but rather than take the bait, I wish them luck and politely encourage them to look elsewhere. I won't undercut myself or another creative by devaluing what I do and neither should you! If your work is worth it to someone, rejoice! If it isn't, put it behind you. Chances are, your work is demanding enough as is and trying to change to please everyone will weaken your work until the quality itself degrades.

Sometimes, a bit of negativity can lead you on a gem hunt you haven't considered. Your outright trolls can unknowingly lead you to something you hadn't considered. Creatives are problem solvers first and foremost so a snide remark can be worth consideration, even if it's in the opposite direction. I didn't start imitating the Dragon Ball Z artwork one person grumbled about wanting, but I did consider adding more variation to my style (although it leaned on realism more than shonen anime). On occasion, I'll even ask someone to throw a challenge at me, something they haven't seen from me (for the record, I did do Toriyama style artwork in high school. It was short-lived because it wasn't what held my interest). Don't automatically take a bitter pill with even outright venom. Throw a little sugar on it and leave 'em salty!

Being grateful if not polite is always where my range tends to sit. However, I WILL gush endlessly when my supporters come through. Erika, one of my dearest friends, always lets me know when she has my next book on the way. Emily, one of my oldest friends, even when she's strapped for cash, she'll ask for my books for her birthday or Christmas from her family. My dad usually gets a copy both for himself and me. Debbie is not only a dear friend but a longtime supporter of my art, even a patron through Patreon! She not only buys my books, she also bought me a congratulations on being published gift, a USB key I keep all of my files on to wear as a necklace. My aunt bought at least the first book and one of mom's old school mates, Bob Halloran, bought the first two for his niece. 

I also know these are it for the print sales, but I track and remember all of the people who come through while I struggle to be taken seriously. These are the people I've wholeheartedly thanked for coming through. I also have friends who share my sales links or allow me to post on their channel. It doesn't matter that they haven't made my work explode; it only matters that they care enough to show some support.

Thanking people when they come through is very important to me. Otherwise, I briefly thank people for their interest or support anyway. I have zero reviews but that's okay too. I don't drain my resources on chasing them down, just focus on my work and the ones who give me a chance. I'm working towards the next big milestone-- completing my adult epic fantasy UnQuadrilogy. I have more ideas lined up. My idea of celebrating is usually jumping right into the next goal. The when of that is in the air since I follow the ideas. 

However you choose to accept your victories, water down what could be a defeat. Humility doesn't mean sinking into depression. The idea of letting someone break me down only angers me these days. No one gets that power. External gratification can be amazing, but keep a reserve of self-empowerment on the ready. In most cases, your detractors don't have the courage you do. Yet even if a famous author tears you to shreds, it's actually never a better reason to stick with it. Hell, run with it! 'Read the book (famous author) said makes them choose to eat cat shit on a dare rather than read it!'

Have any stories to share of how you overcame negative critics? I'm interested!

You Got You, Babe

I might have said in many ways how grateful I am to have the support system that I do (and that it wasn't always so ideal or even present at all). I see many people twisted up over the lack of support, and namely a very specific disappointment in a certain party. Women upset that their fiancés aren't enthusiastic about reading their work, individuals of all ages (even adults) lamenting discouraging or outright hostile parents, people wondering if they should ditch friends that avoid reading it at all costs.

Yet the more you push, the more resistance you will get.

What must drive you, and what you must never become complacent with or spoiled by even when your support is phenomenal, is you. I know it sounds insultingly simple and you'll hear it said a million ways by writers reaching out to support other writers, but you must do you.

Without knowing how you're built to be receptive to change, most people (myself included) will resist the more people insist. I tried to push people to believe in me at one point, but it's time and energy wasted in how I could keep proving I had what it takes. I'm not a joiner and I don't know why I thought I was so rare in that, but I find that most people aren't anxious to swim with the other fish upstream unless the reward for the effort is irresistible.

Well, what effort is involved in just passively sharing your work on social media, or word of mouth? A great deal of people also want to believe we discovered our most treasured assets and there's also a HUGE amount of pressure you're putting on them to be what you want from them. They do want to be your fan in some sense, but they don't want to seem like that simply because of that relationship. They look like a tool and anyone they talk to is suspicious as to whether they REALLY like it. You may be writing something they've never been interested in and even if its genre is close, it still might not be the tone they enjoy. They might see your writing voice as uncomfortably intimate and don't want to know how you bare yourself as a writer to the public. They also see how much it means to you and even the most honest friends might be terrified to jab too deep and send you into depression.

Even though I offer reasons, this isn't a good way to analyze their motives with a game of twenty questions. Really, you have to go passive on this one. Let them come to you but don't be wounded if they pretend ignorance. You probably exhibit sensitivities that make it difficult to approach you. Work on that.

How? Again, this work is about you. Delve into it, refine it, tear it apart, lay it open to critics and bleed. It can take many, many years to get a peep out of the people closest to you. You might want to find cynical reasons or use that writer's mind to weave a tale of their bitterness and resentment for your passion. Pfft. Get over yourself on that. I mean it. I had to. Jealousy is like that spot in your vision that moves when you look at it. Even if there's a chance they are, you're kind of just the annoying douche that pokes their eyeball to try to make them see it.

Like the header says, you got you. That introversion into your work is your retreat to build and wreck and rebuild anyway you want. Don't turn it into a place of overwork or grudgery in some desperate act of chasing perfection and acceptance. You really have to keep the pettiness out unless it somehow works directly as an arc in your work. You're going to make a lot of work for yourself undoing whatever garbage piles up around you unless you work on focusing on the work. You can sit down angry, cracking your knuckles in an effort to prove something to someone, but once you get going, kick that shit out.

I know some of my readers are in a good place. Even better than the place I'm in on some comparative scale even. You can back me up or refine the idea I'm on then. This is going to be more for the inexperienced or struggling ones who just can't kick the melancholy of where they are as opposed to where they want to be or think they should be.

No one can promise you'll shine like a beacon and turn over all your opposition. In fact, when you do well, quite the opposite is a possibility. What you need at every point of time is the state of mind to keep going no matter how celebrated or vilified you are. Be the consummate hero (or villain) and champion your ideals. Don't worry about whether it's good or bad. It's very unlikely you'll unknowingly pass some point of no-return. Mastery is a slow climb and you'll always find places to change tact, to be more present in life or buckle down on neglected writing.

Only you can give you that state of mind. I know you have you. It's your certainty. You won't become disembodied and regrets are beneath you. Start now. Change now. Work now. Keep at it. Fall off the wagon, get back in. Build a better wagon. Burn the damn wagon and get a sexy Italian sportscar. A sense of humor and a creative view on your life? You'll need them. Now kick some ass and consider every new fan, every loved one who joins your cause a little more, an unforeseen bonus.

You have to earn it to appreciate it. You can't expect it, no matter how hard you work. A loyalty prize is a cheap win-- it feels DAMN good to win the unwinnable. 

COLOR-PORN TIME!

I know I'm driving some people nuts with my damn subtleties but bear with me. This is Ashe's color scheme. That is not the same white as Dinsch's. Ashe's hair is more of a cream-tinted white, as his is not the platinum of albinism but just a truly light shade of blonde with a warm yellow base (platinum is a cooler base, which is I leaned on a green base for Dinsch). I rolled the mouse to choose these so no cheap presets would do (although I was pleasantly surprised to see my 'discovered' white is alternately called Albany Paint Brilliant White so someone liked it enough to honor it with a name). I found this medium blue then desaturated it a bit so it actually feels warmer and less electric in brightness. In the story, Ashe's white/blue combo is noted by Rienna since her fiancé shared those traits although she insists that her fiancé's hair is even whiter and his eyes even lighter, so I'd have to hit the palette for him too, create distinctions that aren't just tuned to my insane eyes.

Ashe's eyes take on a true blue hue called cerulean (link only to avoid confusion), and the Crayola version is what I had in mind. 

Side note: Their actual cerulean crayon was my first color crush. I actually had one that was poorly mixed as a kid so the radiant blue sometimes streaked with flecks of deep green. Every time I used it, brilliant scenes of mermaids and seagulls and worlds where the sea and sky blurred together filled my mind. Sadly, I haven't found another with that magic since but it remains vivid.

As for Ashe, his character is almost irritatingly playful. Seemingly simple-minded and shallow, happy-go-lucky and content to follow but comfortable enough to lead. I needed his coloration to eliminate any hint of coldness, to mask the horrors of his past as much as his outer persona did. If anything, he is adaptable and even perceptive, allowing himself to be insulted or confronted, taking no offense to someone blowing off steam. He knows when to be serious, but it is also a shallow mantle, one he doesn't fasten on too tight and is keen to shed as soon as possible. He is black and white in one container, which makes him a truly interesting character to develop.

Now that Ashe had his runway moment, I'll sneak peak the next color-porn feature to come with... Night. Oy. I'm going to be a pain in the ass again, but he's the dark child of my heart and I'm going to have to justify my pain-in-the-ass distinctions again.

Are you the master of your workflow or is there a chip (or chunk) in your armor? Feel free to vent or brag below!

Solitude, Survival and the Importance of Having Great Friends

Apparently, Blaise Pascal is not just known for being a mathematician but credited for an idea that man's downfall is his inability to handle solitude.

While I can say that I'm no stranger to nor abhorrent to solitude, I can't say it's always preferred. I've been able to stare into nothing and contemplate everything, but there is such a thing as too much. Of anything. Men's miseries are also compounded by an all or nothing attitude. I get what Pascal may mean here though. More and more people seek happiness that is dependent on what you're doing and who you're doing it with, forgetting to connect to the self, to be uncomfortable with your own thoughts and problems and not look to others for permission to be happy.

Evolutionary speaking, we know humans were not built to embrace prolonged solitude, even if some are perfectly capable of enjoying it (usually after a life of being weary with humanity's issues). High infant mortality rates, low life expectancy, disease, etc. made it imperative to not wander through life in a state of prolonged solitude. There's an imperative we don't quite understand to pass on our genes and even studies done on how smell is often part of the chemistry of finding partners. While some humans favored the idea of monogamy, a 'guaranteed' partner for the breeding, it was just as important to be a flexible breeder (the death or separation of a mate or even a lack of fertility or surviving children). Breeding expectations that were imperative for survival are destructive and unnecessary today. That's not to say it's lesser to follow any biological imperative, but we're also a species that has advanced with intellectual potential that can make more informed decisions on whether the results of breeding are worth it (or even the consequences of sexual contact). While I don't think it's morally necessary to be monogamous or that every pregnancy should result in a child, I do think sexual and reproductive choices are still something society is applying too much unnecessary interest and pressure to. Regardless of your feelings, bodily autonomy is a human right that we need to stop treating like a topic of debate. I won't argue your feelings about how you weigh life, but what you do with your morals and body should never decide for another. I bring this up because often, starting a family is sometimes not done for the sake of the child itself but from a fear of being alone. Just like entering into bad relationships is justified by 'not being alone.' People who never realize they were not going to just automatically find happiness in being a parent or a partner only compound their own misery if they still fail to connect with what they really want from themselves.

I'm going to jump around a bit here and there or the three topics at hand will drag on too long to reach a solid point. 

Practices that humans have been doing for 'thousands of years' are failing us in modern times. It's constantly under the microscope that the convenience of social media both makes more people accessible and has made it socially normal to ignore the people in front of us while connecting with people through digital channels. And the ease and convenience isn't making us more secure. In fact, it's making us more inaccessible, more stressed, more dependent on the temporary approval, often of people we don't actually know and who just as easily have no loyalty or staying power. And often we don't look at the name behind those Likes, but just at whether or not the number of Likes validates it. And no, not just in social media. The problem exists in texting and calling, older than the technological boom of the last 30 years in the case of calls. We expect people to be almost instantly accessible and even amenable to our desires and not responding, again, within our personal time frame of impatience, there is often hostility that we once reserved for people we dislike. We can contact the people we love more often and quicker, but it doesn't fulfill what we really need in a social connection and we find ourselves clogging up our days with the microscopic rewards that only cause spikes in depression and ultimately, a feeling of loneliness.

Back to the ancestors, it was necessary for hunting and farming and sex to be imperative when humans were struggling to survive. It often was an arrangement that was unromantic, practical but still required a level of amicability and cooperation. Sure, throughout history, there was courtship and romance, but there were always conditions of undesirability or arranged marriages, just plain snobbery and politics, using their own bloodlines as currency (and some of the freakiest consequences of prolonged inbreeding for that matter). Humanity, as a whole, has ever been misdirecting biological imperatives and expectations, ever miserable in never quite finding what makes them truly happy, sometimes doing little but passing misery to the next person by using moral signaling to mask the crime.

Liberals and conservatives of the extremist variety are BOTH responsible for society's inability to enjoy human relationships, not just technology alone. Modern humans still take the romance, patience, and pride out of being a decent and open-minded person. There are still antiquated attitudes about skin color and culture and using both as an excuse to isolate ourselves. There are also confusing ideas about gender and personality (and yes, as someone who is mentally fluid about gender roles, what people mistake as gender fluidity is just personality, curiosity and exploring your potential as a human-- why complicate it and just make more boxes to further isolate each other?). We don't need more labels for sure. I'll say that again and again. The more sure someone is of their myriad labels, the more miserable they are trying to make complete strangers adhere to them. And often the less time they spend developing skills and relationships beyond this ridiculous pride in being completely average.

It's true enough that the world is simply overcrowded. No, I don't vouch for genocide to 'fix' this. The problem with that is humanity has no gauge for who 'deserves' to live or die because it's either based on emotion or some petty disagreement on what traits are desirable in continuing the human race. It's too emotional or too logical and neither is a solution. Some people who think they have high moral gauges don't realize the hypocrisy when they have ever considered that some people 'deserve' to not exist. It's a lazy thought process because many 'bad people' develop beliefs out of fear, not ignorance, and can learn once you remove such lazy hostility from your confrontations with them. Either way, trying to regulate life is always going to have moral and practical debates that will never reach resolution, nor should they. We already live in a world where romance is dead for most of the population. People wait longer to decide if marriage is a good idea or rush to nullify or divorce when they realize it was a big mistake. Some people are desperately alone, so sure that given a chance, everything would just magically fall into place. Often these people become more undesirable, less self-aware, and lash out. Rather than meet them with the hostility they expect, the only actual way to reach them is to listen. Like most people, they want to connect but are sorely lacking in some aspect of their humanity.

Either way, Pascal wasn't wrong about the importance of 'a quiet place'. Solitude is also something we can suffer from even when surrounded by others. That's not new to our age, only the heightened level that modern conveniences have blown it up. Toxic family or friends, apathetic strangers, entitled people who only try to groom you for a relationship then bail if you make it clear you're only interested in friendship. We have such instant access to distraction and weak social bandages that we are losing the ability to connect and value that connection-- that much is true. Connecting to others and to ourselves-- we're avoiding it or making weak connections, there's no dispute about that.

That being said, I am not a person that 'suffers' from loneliness, despite my 'lamented' (pwahahaha) single status or my long hours of writing and drawing. I am not experiencing the inevitable depressing effect of loneliness. When I am alone, I am still connecting to my inner voice. I stare at fish, look around my room doing nothing. We live in a society that pegs this for laziness or inertia, but at the same time, people are drawn to me because I telegraph this air of contentment and purpose BECAUSE I understand its value. I solve problems, I slow down my rapid thought processes, I start to listen to myself and what I want to give and receive.

I rarely see my real-life friends but those moments are absolutely magical for me and maybe more so because it's neither expected nor frequent. Even many of the people I only know through the internet are incredible people. Because I am so connected to myself, I am never 'wrong' when I have a good feeling about someone. I DO choose 'friends for life' and even my working relationships have that kind of assurance. I study people without looking like a stalker, just subtly absorbing who they really are without exacting judgment. My friends are nothing alike (I've never had a 'type' in any sense, romantic or otherwise-- sense of humor and respect is about it). They have a range of jobs and/or living situations, sexuality, races, religions and so on. No, it's not some subtle way of saying 'my friends aren't only white', but I don't have unconscious barriers that prevent me from opening my mouth when I sense a possible kinship.

These are people that demand nothing from me, either in frequency or status. They know not to take it personally that my work and livelihood often sets me in a place of solitude for months (they also know I'm likely to drop everything when they call to include me because I'm spontaneous and impulsive). I am incredibly grateful that these people are in my life. Some I have known for years, some for a few months, but time doesn't set priority. I'm well over ranking my friends by their 'use' to me. I brag about friends to other friends and let them know I brag about them to other friends too. I would love to name them, but I know the list would grow and grow and grow because I can credit a lot of people in my life now towards my growth and support. Leaving anyone out would devastate me and a long list is something that bristles on my humility. It's never about quantity and I don't want them to feel like names on a list when they're so much more.

There's a lot of love and support that is far more important to becoming a better human than placing expectations on your social acceptability ever could. I had those shallow clubbing days where I was always making shallow connections. I would never go back. We are creatures looking for the balance of dependency and independence-- total independence just sounds like a place of isolation. We need to rely on each other. The internet is great for information, but it will never ever beat personal experience and the subtle cues on faces and bodies a page full of words can't replicate. 

I do think that we will get a grip on this fast-changing world, one way or another, but things will need to change. Attitudes will need to change. We'll need to understand and seek the value of both isolation and great friendships and relationships. I can't MAKE change, only encourage people, lead by example and hope people can find their own way to happiness. That the people they bring into their lives are simply there because they truly enjoy each other's company, not fill a quota to banish solitude or 'complete' some missing part of them. The best thing you can do is be a complete person for any and all of the people in your life.