Dreams and the Writer

I rarely dream at night over the past few years especially. I suppose when I was younger, I enjoyed lucid dreams but also didn't enjoy the occasional night terror. Not dreaming at night became a godsend because when I'm awake, my brain never shuts the fuck up.

I daydream... sort of. I interrupt myself when talking and hop immediately back on course. I can hear a line coming up on a show I've watched before while reading out loud, say the line in sync and go right back to reading. My short term memory is very, very unreliable but I can remember things that happened when I was still in diapers. Hell, I can recall how the world looks at less than two feet tall and crinkling around in the diaper. I can prepare lunch from scratch and forget what I spent half an hour making two hours later. Probably sounds problematic for a writer but I develop methods to complement the way I think. Daydreaming for me can be both hyper-aware and completely absentminded in turns. It can be a bit scatterbrained or very focused. 

No matter how you dream, it's a toolbox that sometimes reveals things you didn't know you knew or absurd counter logic your rational brain might miss. Dream are a scramble of information, sometimes garbled, other times crystal clear. Sometimes it can disturb you, staging something disgusting or horrifying as a desire or turning your sugar sweet pastel world into dripping tar nightmare. Once I saw people missing perfectly geometric chunks of their body, missing legs or part of the neck, but all smiling and walking around as if it was a regular day at the cotton candy pink office. Sometimes it can trick you into feeling real. I had a really ordinary dream that got weird when my best friend and I suddenly broke into a church to steal markers from the Sunday school room. It can feel real quite literally. I felt both sensual and violent dreams that had me gasping awake.

Because of dreams, we can adopt ways to immerse ourselves in our stories and ideas. It's certainly not a requirement. Even extremely logical and rational types that never dream are capable of collecting and reordering information and making something whimsical or at least fictional. I've seen plenty of art students trying to one-up each other on who has the artiest brain. ''I have lucid dreams!" "Yeah, well, I fart realistic portraits when I eat crayons!" "That's nothing! I was born holding a paintbrush and reproduced Starry Night in womb blood!" "Tax evasion!" *Literally all dissolve into puddles of forced hysterical laughter*

I know because I was one of those and I am so. So. So happy that I didn't get a digital camera or webcam until my early 20s and post that noise on the internet. Ffs, we think we're being quirky and original but only about 15% of it is funny to anyone who doesn't know us. And in this age of aggressive and insincere complimenting being a youth trend, I see most of these kids getting sick of each other pretty quick. "No, I do mean it! My bff is so ridiculously hot, I could just stalk her and strangle her!" Funny how quickly they'll switch hot into annoying and talk garbage from there.

Yeah, we all get carried away. Dreams are a much safer victimless way to explore uncomfortable ideas. Uncomfortable can even be a breath of fresh air if you're feeling jaded by the same old stories. Really, writing can be a uncomfortable as you can lean it and you can web publish it free in most hosting sites. Other places, including self publishing markets will set guidelines so be wary of where your wicked dreams lead. 

Personally I never assume that sensual settings gave to arouse that violence can't be disturbingly sensual. I realize it very well could used as an excuse to harm but could easily sate someone to keep them from doing so as well. Sometimes I like a safe, warm or comedic story, to be light and not going fir a little shock or squirm. Sometimes I just want to be a nerd, to tackle quirks or illnesses without laying it on too thick. Maybe the challenge is trickier than I thought, but I pool through daydreams and counter failing logic with dream logic and work it out better.

Writers can often affect changes in reality, even without that intention. Interpretation from dream inspiration can spark invention and innovation. Things thought impractical can challenge a determined thinker to create the logistics to make it so. At one point, touch screens were unlikely, laughable, but now that they're common, we accept the possibility that Tony Stark's air gestures operating a dimensional holographic computer could be widespread someday even in the near future. Virtual reality that can affect other senses than sight, including smell, touch, real movement, are possible. Everything we experience is a specific charge to our brains and science shows the possibility that virtual reality might someday be a place where people with disabilities can experience a convincing facsimile of sensations they have not in the past. (I hesitate to use deprivation or call it a lack of senses-- those who have never experienced something don't exactly miss it if they never had it. We all maneuver with limitations.)

Corny and overused or not, it can't be denied that dreamers are doers, encouraging all of us to dare to dream bigger.

Read Me

Old enough to remember when we used to write that on neatly folded notes in class, as if we'd actually mistake it for a gum wrapper or some other inconsequential piece of garbage? I'm not going to tell you it was the 'good old days' because I don't miss high school, but I will say that my best friend and I used to get a little MORE old-school and draw a carrier pigeon on the outside too.

But no, nostalgia isn't where this is headed.

How can we as authors get readers to take a chance on us? Do we lure them with humorous carrier pigeons or abbreviate our names because gendered names are too damning?

For authors, there are a myriad of frustrations that can be disillusioning when it comes to pitching our books. Things I've heard said (and in some cases, I've said personally):

1. What should include in my bio?

2. If I write about _____, will people read it?

3. How can I convince people I'm serious?

4. Does my gender/genre/voice matter?

5. If my story isn't 'good', does it invalidate me?

Personally, I'm neither of the party that sterilizes my stories into trendy bestsellers nor the party that writes only for passion. Like most things, I aim for balance. Am I a talented writer? I don't know. I've heard people remark that I am but in some ways, feedback is about as frequent as Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons coming to my door (but feedback is actually welcome). I think some people fear I'll either be too wordy and intellectual or too 'girlie'. And ffs, what would be wrong with either in regular doses? It's disheartening that women can feel comfortable reading books in a male voice but there is also an entire subset of men and uncomfortable women who peg all females in the same wishy-washy light, like we're all pumping out vapid romances and words are hard. I've beat that horse before and won't flip it and cook the other side now.

I suppose you could call the sexual scenes that crop up in my books 'smut' but do you know what that means for an asexual to explore that? It is rarely just about the sex. I'm calculating the actions of my characters on a level that complements their roles in the story. Yes, it is detailed and even a bit gratuitous but what's the point of drawing you into the heads of my characters if I kick you out at their most vulnerable?

Ohhhh, I see it now. Again, it sounds too complex. Here's the thing-- as a writer, I do see it as my duty to simplify the complex. I don't have a strict set of rules. I'm not going to talk down to you, but I'm not going to assume you know all of the unique rules of my fantasy world. And I'm not one of those people who will spew out endless lengths of fantasy names. I tend to use unique names but not ones too complicated to follow. There are three main continents in my first series-- Vieres, Stoneweld, and Wheryf. There are a lot of characters for you to meet but they are written in compact pieces, more a collection of short stories. I sometimes jump to different points in their lives to justify an action in their present.

I realize my work won't be everyone's cup of tea, but it can be tough for me to sum it up when people want to know what 'my book' is about. It's never been 'a book' and people seem to forget that my memory is very spotty (irony). I can discuss the decisions I made if you read it but trying to sum it up or package it is a lost cause.

Let's be honest-- even among writers, there are many who see self-publishers as people too chicken shit to query and wait in line to be accepted or too greedy to hire 'professionals' to make a quality product. In case they missed the memo, I AM a professional. Not only a writer and an artist but across multiple media. I was a comic book artist first, spending countless hours combining story-telling and art. Artists are often polymaths. It waters down nothing.

Ah, I wish I could remember her name but one girl in a group I'm in wanted to learn how to get better at cover design. A frustrating number of 'Hire a pro' comments flooded the post. I'm not sure when disposable income became a thing, nor being so eager to dismiss people from learning new skills but her reaction was priceless. Something to the tune of: so because I'm a writer, I can have the confidence to write but have to outsource my vision of the cover? So if the shoe is on the other foot and I've made a beautiful picture, I should hire a writer because I can't be trusted to write the story I see with it?

Some artists are lucky enough to dodge this hypocrisy. If they manage to have an acceptable level of talent, humility and are safe/non-threatening enough anyway... There are a lot of insecurities in large writing communities and sometimes having a 'fall-back' plan is met with the accusation that you aren't serious enough to have a single discipline. I once remarked that I would love to have a Master's degree so I could fall back on teaching when I couldn't meet the demands of a full time artist and, despite the fact that I'm actually a passionate person that would make a great teacher, all my detractor could focus on was that teaching was not a fall-back plan and should be a first choice. I can't agree with that. Many people find their passions AFTER they follow the curiosity to try it. In fact, it's often the over-zealous that dive headfirst with enthusiasm and realize they're not cut out for it. None of us are under any obligation to stick with something we are not measuring up to. Why not try to be a teacher, a guru, a muse? My muse is certainly a temp sometimes and one that whines about vacations while beating me into submission.

Here's the thing. I can't convince you of anything, no matter what I tell you. Many of you have your own ideas of what I am and what I write and if I deserve a reward for my hard work or whether my misery is important for your 'I told you so' philosophy. Most of the people who reach out to me love what I do, love my sense of humor, think I'm sweet, etc.  It's certainly a matter of quality rather than quantity.  To answer the five questions above, I don't know what to put in my bio, I write fantasy that speaks to my psyche, I can't possibly prove I'm more serious, being a woman writing fantasy in a woman's voice is not going to enlighten you to my abilities, and no one can invalidate me if I didn't seek their approval to begin with.

You aren't wrong that any artist wants their work to be looked at and even loved, but the world can't come crashing down if it isn't. It's not as simple as being a livelihood and mostly it's not even a choice. I can't tell you how many days I woke up and begged my brain to give my hands and eyes a break but ended up working exhausted anyway. Creativity can be downright parasitic and just as deadly if we try to detach from it. There's a reason the suicidal artist is an eye-rolling generalization. It is so built into some of us that trying to suppress it makes us horrible to be around.

You may have also noticed that artists often have to bleed on the paper. It's in these vulnerable moments where people want to latch on. Bestsellers can be safe but if you want a story to stick, it has to get its claws in you and leave a trace in your blood.

The younger writers want you to fall in love with their characters. I have almost never even cared a little. I can't tell you how many times these characters are so generically laden with flaws and strengths designed to be likable or repellent. Real characters, raw characters, are not like that. I fall in love with the weathered characters, the ones that never wanted to be heroes or villains. Take out 'heroes and villains'. How about liberals and conservatives? Artists and coal miners? Introverts and extroverts? Where's the right or wrong in the opposites? Because of that, I don't beg you to like my characters. If I'm doing it right, they're your annoying best friend or your rival you secretly admire. I write stories that you let you feel any damn way you want and possibly ask yourself if that's how you really feel and none of that hurts the story. Did you sympathize with the sadistic psychopath? Does that makes you feel like a monster or merciful? Will you keep reading to learn more about yourself?

How's that for a pitch?

How to Be an Awesome (Professional) Reviewer

Up to this point, I have usually focused my blogs on personal anecdotes, updates and tips for writers. However, writers are also readers, sometimes even exchanging stories with other writers; a beta reading swap, for any who are unfamiliar. You may also be picked as an ARC reader (Advance Review/Reading Copy). Now, ARCs were traditionally sent out prior to a release, but these copies are also used by self-pubbers to pass out to reviewers-- a free copy and crossing your fingers that they won't just run off, basically. The reason a lot of self-pubbers do this is because they don't have the money to shell out for copyright protection and there is automatic protection once published. Some don't shell out for professional editors or cover designers so they use other resources to try to get their work up to speed and noticed.

I won't go into the ongoing controversy that led to the inspiration for this post (I've brought it up in prior posts-- the tendency for bisexual women to be attacked for writing male/male romance), only that a fellow writer and published author, Sarah Beth James, ran into a legitimate concern with an ARC reader and it brought up some great points.

Writers are certainly not excluded from being diplomatic. When we seek out ARC/beta readers or reviewers, editors or cover designers, we certainly must observe simple rules of professionalism. We cannot demand performance, whether we pay or not. Before you go up in arms (but I paid to get these results!) understand that you do have a duty to research prior to this. You can't tie up a designer's time, scrapping all of their ideas just because their style doesn't match your vision. You have to look at the work or recommendations from former customers to see what you're getting into. There are reasonable expectations of professionalism on both sides.

I would be happy to go into the relationship for other writer/professional relationships, but for today. We're aiming at reviewers.

So how can you be an awesome reviewer?

1) You are a professional.

I don't care if you're a housewife from Vermont, you are a professional. If you are in any way an influencer or prolific reviewer, you are a professional. Don't use the excuse that you only do it on your free time or your spouse is the breadwinner. Even published writers have the tendency to downgrade their importance-- 'I'm just a writer, not a best seller.' I will not fault anyone for humility, but I don't ever want to hear it as a defense when you're challenged to explain quality. If you put yourself out there as a reviewer, you are expected to be professional. If not, you may get blacklisted by writers who see your work as damaging and unprofessional and the requests will stop coming in.

2) Don't make it about you.

When someone asks you to review their work, be careful that you aren't using their platform to self-promote. Don't go on and on about how you are the expert in a genre. In the reading/writing world, that's called gatekeeping. In fiction, you should understand that facts are often skewed to explore new ideas. Writers often delve into unexplored areas and are not making an attempt to tackle real-world issues. Fiction is largely the territory of escapism. You may very well find hidden agendas but I can assure you that there are just as many unconscious biases or intentional straying that is done as well. When in doubt, ask the writer. That being said, nonfiction writers ARE expecting to be challenged on their facts or opinions. Feel free to do so, but take it outside of a review. Give them the opportunity to elaborate and you may improve future editions.

Absolutely do NOT inject your political, social or religious agendas or virtue-signal that you are the righteous and the author is wrong. It is a guaranteed way to get yourself blacklisted. Authors talk to each other, share screenshots, provide proof and discuss. We generally know to avoid engaging with reviewers on review sites (at least publicly), but it doesn't mean we don't warn each other away from unprofessional betas/ARCs. You are also entitled to screenshot author harassment if you feel they are not being professional. Usually, it's better to move on, but there are exceptions, especially with multi-platform offenders.

Feel free to brag about your ARC experiences on your blog or website. That is certainly your platform and a good place to elaborate.

3) Offer a clear distinction between taste and technicality

I have mentioned before that my friend Joe Maley is extremely adept at this in his movie reviews. Not only is he able to tell you what he liked and didn't like, but he can compare it to other work and even recommend similar movies if you did like it and he didn't. What makes him so successful is the language he uses. Facts are often worded appropriately-- 'this is a movie about this and this.' Opinions are not disguised as fact 'I liked this character because...' It sounds simple but deceptively so because novices will often slip into unhelpful language, going so far as to assuming no one will like something because of their strong aversion to it, or even that it shouldn't exist at all. Those opinions are important but your feelings are not central to the intended audience and you must be aware of that. Once you've stated your tastes, remember to go back to reviewing the quality of the story, making it clear what audience it might appeal to. Even if you have to struggle with that part, it will make you a more intuitive reviewer if you offer that information.

4) Size matters

... and bigger is not always better. Yup, I said it. A well-thought out review shouldn't be a five paragraph essay and too much information may be tantamount to spoiling the content. Instead, start with a synopsis that states the facts. Help the audience find it-- genre, a couple of the main characters, the main plot and the tone/mood (dark, happy, etc). Follow it up with your strongest impressions, good and bad (I'm going into this more on the next point). Again, steer clear of spoilers like "I didn't like when the main villain turned out to be an ally." The same goes for trigger warnings. Take care that you aren't vague enough to create a bias or detailed enough to spoil. When in doubt, leave it out. As an ARC reader, you are invited to connect with the writer on these concerns before posting your review. Use the privilege.

5) Bullet point pros and cons

Formatting can be tricky on review sites so, as a reviewer, take the time to see what options are available to maximize the presentation. Gain basic knowledge of HTML, to start. Most form boxes on review sites use some variation of HTML. If at all possible, use the bullet point format to clean up your pros/cons section. If you don't already, you may want to develop an order or system. Your first point in pros and cons is for the characters, the second point is for the style, etc. There's no right format here, but this is a good way to offer a fair assessment on taste and technicality. 'This character was too whiny for me, but not for lack of being well-written' or 'I might have liked this character if the author had used them more like this.' Again, steer clear of spoilers.

6) Don't include remarks on errors

This goes double if you're reviewing an indie author. This isn't because you should let lower standards slide. Most indie authors want to be held to the same (or better) standards than traditional publishing. (Better, because you can't tell me Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey, or anything by Dan Brown was professionally edited.) The point here is that self-pubbers have full control at all times and they can correct grammatical or continuity errors any time they damn well please. Again, if you have the privilege to correspond with them privately, do it. As an ARC reader, you may not have time to point out every error or how you would fix it. Whether you can or will or not, you can be as vague as 'if you fix the grammatical errors in these stories/chapters, it would improve the star rating by one star.' That might sound like an ultimatum by itself, so maybe add that you can withhold the review as a courtesy until contacted about the change. A professional writer will not pitch a fit.

I'll give the reviewers this much-- some authors will not take criticism or pushback at all, but if you considered your position carefully and observed diplomacy, you don't lose points as an awesome reviewer. Being an awesome reviewer does not mean that you are passing out 4 and 5 star reviews. While that certainly helps, ARC reading is a good opportunity for both author and reviewer to educate the other and build a rapport. Become a valuable ARC and it may put you first on their list for secret promotions, future copies and other perks.

7) Your copy is for your use only

I've seen that there are people who believe that since they volunteered their precious time towards the task, they are entitled to give away or even sell hard copies to whoever they want. No. Just no. Not only is an ARC not the same as the final version in many cases, you are violating the confidence of the role and profiting from that. But it's the same as selling it to a used book store or giving it as a gift! Then why won't bookstores accept ARCs? Go ahead and try. And yes, internet piracy happens, but it's also highly frowned upon, especially for new authors. Being trusted with a free copy IS the reward, whether you like it or not. You can't eat free ice cream then return to the counter and say you didn't like it and you wanted a different flavor instead. You consumed and now you either delete it or destroy the copy. An ARC is a step above the average reader, given access to the author as well as the privilege. I don't say this from a position of entitlement; I don't feel as if an author's work, my own included, is above reproach. However, it is certainly my work and there are proper channels and expectations. As a side note, I have seen several groups on FB closed for violation of ARC use. If you are profiting on a large scale, you can incur much heavier legal penalties.

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I have to reiterate at this point that these ARE NOT RULES. You can be as blunt as you like, but you are going to lose opportunities to connect if you eschew diplomacy in order to sound 'real.' Don't know if you've noticed, but people are getting sick of 'real.' Value your opinions enough to communicate them well. Anyone can lay down a rant, so take the time to be the rebel that maximizes the efficacy of communication. You don't have to use big words (I know I tend to do that, but I have certain feelings about dumbing down, just as surely as thesaurus-hugging), just use plain language that shows a consideration for what you actually read. You may use your own voice, but how you do it will separate you from being a respected reviewer or a blow-hard.

Keep these things in mind and it will certainly benefit everyone's experience. Yes, you and the author are important cogs in the wheel, but the audience, the zeitgeist is tricky enough without interference. Be honest, be involved, but above all, be professional. You ARE a professional, even if it's your first ARC. Every résumé starts somewhere. 

For the writers in the audience, keep it up and take precautions. Above all, enjoy your work. I hope readers and writers (and those who are both) build valuable relationships. As always, I'm here to help!