Pep Talk with Min Jin Lee

Kind of throwing this one out last minute, but these pep talks are always a fun topic to mention.

In the most recent NaNo mail, Min Jin Lee basically points out that, while we all have a book in us, sometimes it's not the one we think it is. We tend to set out writing a book that we think people will admire and our work suffers for it.

While I don't believe I'm entirely guilty of writing purely to ego, I can certainly understand why you might not be writing what you're most capable of. No matter how crazy your young life was, writing a memoir in your 20s or 30s is usually premature, for one. The decades that you spend reflecting on those events are important too. The questions you will ask yourself when you learn to ask the right questions. The genuine curiosity to not just record events but to learn more. Even when I jot down things for my how-to book, I never set out to only teach but to learn. To pose questions to a reader that they have to answer, to try to anticipate the needs of an audience and cast a net that includes their concerns in the best way possible.

I've said before that one of my regrets is that I set out to make UnNamed so short for querying purposes. I think it should have been a longer book, but I've decided the best way to rectify it would be to add some short story serials to it later. I let myself be guided by word counts that confined the traditional route, but I'm writing epic fantasy. I'm not here to wait for the permission to write the books my stories need to be. So often, authors need brand recognition to write longer books. This is why J.K. Rowling's first book was so small in comparison. Until your publisher is sure that you can sell, they confine the hell out of the requirements.

All I can say is that, in this golden age of publishing, write the book you have in YOU. Not the one you think people will want to read. That book is going to do a lot of transparent posturing and not be as genuine as you think. While, yes, I do want to write something an agent/publisher will want, that book isn't what I'm doing right now. I might have to wait for trends to change, for my work to find its niche, but that means exactly what I believe Min Jin Lee is getting at-- I'll come by that book genuinely, rather than intentionally. Whether it takes 10 or 30 years, I'll keep crawling along my path stubbornly.

As I've said before, I loved UnNamed, my flagship book for the UnQuadrilogy, yet that wasn't the book it could've been. Did I enjoy it? Yes. Was it complete? Sure. But there were many character aspects that could have been given more time to flourish in a larger format. The Rain Maidens and the main character both would have been deeper characters if I hadn't restrained them. Especially since my mercenary is a tough character to like. While I wanted him to be that way, I also felt like he deserved more time than he got.

So there will certain be more short story collections that will actually be supplemental to the main series. I even have working names for them. Gods and Sentinels will be one and Marked in Rain and Flame is the other. Sentinels and Gods will be a historical prequel that takes place where a lot of the problems in this world first started. Marked in Rain and Flame is a more recent prequel that will cover the mercenary's life leading up to UnNamed as well as the Rain Maidens' lives prior to meeting him. In the original, his past is only briefly glanced over, the Maidens only got a few pages of back story at best. It's enough that you get their motivations, but I feel like their backgrounds were just too constrained before. While the Gods and Sentinels are explained well enough, I wanted to showcase their conflict, their vulnerabilities and the grey areas that the main series was only ever meant to hint at. The focus was always on correcting their imbalance, not on justifying it or fully explaining the bumps and bruises of their indecision.

At least I am certain that UnSung, UnHeard and UnVeiled will better benefit from that trial and error. No more writing books that aren't what I think they need to be. As an American white girl, I can't bank on diversity to do me favors either. I don't write invincible females and guarantees. The trends are actually so completely not on my side that I had to come to terms with that uphill battle. 

The important thing is, I'm doing just that. I'm flexing my brain and my craft and I believe in my work. I see great things for my stories and if I have to hump out a studio and indie this shit to hell and back, it's happening. Because I'm not sure I care if I should or not, just that I can't imagine doing anything else.

When It's Good, It's Good

Despite how trite these words of wisdom are, it is what it is. I could do this forever, but what I'm getting at is that reaching a goal isn't always cause to celebrate. Or at least not for long.

After reaching 50K for NaNoWriMo on the 15th, my story was just on fire. There was no way I was putting it down to go back and edit, not when my current drafting efforts are falling together in ways I hadn't planned. 

The first time I ever heard that people don't find sequels as good as the first one directed at books, I was stunned. Sure, with movies, I get it. There's a whole team of people dumping ridiculous amount of money into a product they hope will start a full-blown franchise. For most writers, we learn that it can take a lot of damp matches to even light a candle let alone hope to set the world's imagination ablaze.

I've said before that I always feel like my first book of a series is weakest in retrospect. I know it's not the best business practice to make it seem lackluster when it's supposed to be the flagship that keeps up the journey. UnNamed excited me. Yet UnSung thrilled me. Working on UnHeard absolutely enthralls me. In a way, I feel like I may want to consider writing the first three books of any series before releasing anything. Why? Because I see a pattern of only feeling completely confident about the world I begin once I've established three books. My first series struck the same chord; in each trilogy, the third book always felt like the strongest.

UnNamed is almost too quick a read despite being nearly 90K. UnSung's massive word count really helped me pace the characters and discoveries and I'm finding the same colorful spread even more fully realized in UnHeard. I won't rewrite UnNamed unless there's some overwhelming call for it, but I feel like I might have thrown in another huge growth and wealth of story if I were going back to redraft it.

Of course, I'm playing with the idea of some short stories. A few branching from UnNamed's history, at least one brewing from UnSung. The UnSung one actually wedges in between UnSung and UnHeard but not in the series format that would make it fit. It would detail an event that will be vaguely mentioned sometimes but completely unnecessary to the main plot. I'm rather a stickler for not developing anything that doesn't link directly to the main plot so it's definitely a spin-off.

All the same, as a writer, I'm embracing the idea that plans are suggestions. I didn't expect to want to keep writing UnHeard. It was supposed to help build confidence in the continuing story but it became an entity all its own.

If I can offer any advice, it's this-- don't squander those hard pulls. Some writers might take that too narrowly. I do see quite a few that post those memes about starting five new stories on impulse but that's not as widely relatable as the Internet would have you believe. I'm never short on ideas, but I don't find those pulls affect me in the way I mean this. Those instant impulses are more along the lines of a hard tug, whiplash away from the scary finish. It's not that I don't have them, it's just that I don't place value on them when what I really want is the long pull.

It's not exactly beginner's advice because, like your first childhood crushes, all of the pulls/tugs feel important. It took years of introspection to understand the weight of impulses, to learn which ideas to flirt with and which to court. The 'years' part is subjective, having little to do with wisdom, age, experience or maturity. You just stop relating to the ones who complain they don't have enough ideas or have too many once you know it. You always have the right amount of ideas and adapt to how they present themselves.

I write almost obsessively despite this cold kicking my ass still because this is a pull and it makes me truly excited to follow it for days on end. If it had been an impulse, some false lead, it would have faded in a couple hours.

Don't mistake this as some statement for the superiority of epic-length novels. Anything that keeps you excited to keep going past a couple hours qualifies in this example. Pulls need time. You can get bursts from poetry or flash fiction but until you're pouring those into compilations, it's just not the same (coming from someone who was a burst writer). Again, if you're using the flirt/court analogy, then you're looking at the difference between a one night stand and a love affair. A text message and a shoebox full of love letters. Bursts are amazing and valuable but if you're lamenting that you'll never finish a novel as something that matters to you, then you're looking for the pull. Until you learn to swat the distractions, the chances of producing those larger goals are really slim.

Think about what else in your life could stand to improve by limiting those pesky impulses. Or just embrace the hot mess. 

For the hell of it, I'll just wrap it up by saying I'm at the 71K+ mark now. It's way over the goal, but why not see if I can make it to 100K?  Certainly seems doable at this rate.

Thought Dumps

I'm going to enjoy a little aimlessness here. Let's start with the NaNo word count: 34,477. That's twice the minimum daily average still, but I'll keep it up (and more) as much as possible. I don't hate reaching goal halfway through the month, for sure. I do have a couple of Thanksgivings to tuck in and if I'm mentally done with drafting, I can take a break or switch to editing or designing.

Moving on...

One thing that is becoming a habit is the increasing amount of time I'm spending coming up with back stories or subplots. Even as a gamer, these were always my favorite parts of gaming. The parts that were rarely ever told through action or skill-- just the emotional, intense, sometimes even vague developments that don't always reach the page. I more often use these rough events to internally explain why and how my character reacts as they do.

I'm not a stickler for the 'show, don't tell' nonsense, which I've explained before often seems too coy and just as repetitive as saying things outright. SHOW me how their feeling, don't TELL me they're happy. SHOW me the atmosphere of the bar, don't TELL me what it looks like. 

SHOW me there's a dog with sunglasses at the bar, don't TELL me...

I've heard that Steinbeck's work is to blame for this 'rule'. I can't hate the guy because he's a fan of quick, cool moral quoting like I am. I don't avoid showing and certainly, sometimes it's more effective to create a mood when you describe being swallowed in a man-shaped shadow rather than saying a tall man stepped in front of you. Still, more often than not, those that take the advice start to stack up a bunch of these: biting lips, balled fists, clenched teeth. These details can be fun to roll out for a scene where someone is pretending to be unbothered, but they keep telegraphing physical signs of tension. Other times, there's no build and these repetitions are doing quite the opposite. Unless it's truly effective, sometimes 'she was nervous he wouldn't come' is a-okay. Unless holding out that she is 'waiting on someone' or 'who it is' happens to be a good build, I'd push it through.

To be honest, there are just some genres where it works nearly every time, like mysteries or crime. When you want the reader to have to figure out the details before they are 'revealed' then it's perfect for this. I've heard some fantasy readers say they like it, but I find fantasy a place where dragging through every scene this way is tedious, both as a writer and a reader. Fantasy is more fun as a roller coaster, one where you change pace, structure, intent-- all at the drop of a hat for the sake of the story. You want those blockbuster twists. I'm definitely a fan of slow builds, but it has to stay relevant and hopefully interesting. There are many fantasies I just couldn't stomach unless they come out with an abridged version, because it became just as tedious with exposition as it did the very, very showy shit. Which is terrific if you're writing a proposal as a project manager. As a novelist, that shit needs polished up.

Here's another thing: like any writer I can talk a big game, but there's a big chance I'm breaking my own so-called preferences and rules. I'm probably leaning on a bias due to taste and experience. This is why it's okay to call my bluff. In fact, I appreciate being told where I've slipped up. It gives me a chance to reanalyze it and either defend why I did it or mentally seal in what to avoid in the future.

I wandered off of talking about back stories, but it came up because I was looking at my notes today. I haven't looked at them since I started drafting and realize I deviated a bit and still like the original ideas more. So I'll need to tweak the draft on that account, but at least it didn't deviate much. I certainly had the intent in line, so it's minor. 

There are some back stories that just don't fit into this series the way I intend it, but they also fit into the prequel area, a time long before any of the characters were alive in this story, back to where the trouble originated. I had originally gone with the name UnQuadrilogy with the intent to do more than four books anyway (because who doesn't like an intentional Douglas Adams-style gaffe, oxymoron intended?). So I think once I write the last of the main series, I want to go back and play with that prequel! I warmed up to some flashbacks in UnSung and I'll continue to throw those in where they fit, but I think there's a depth I want to reach that would just throw the main series too far off track to try to squeeze it all in.

So I'm thinking of a name for it already. UnFinished? UnEnding? UnTold? Perhaps I'll poll these later, but it's still quite the task to get these all tied up.

Chime in on this one, if you like. After UnNamed, UnSung, UnHeard and UnVeiled, which name do you think might make for a great prequel name?

Nothing But Net!

If only I could always be so productive...

After one helluva crunch weekend, the first draft of UnSung is done, done, donnnnnnne. What does this mean? There are a couple places where I need to amend scenes and add some plot details, which may boost the word count (which currently sits at the 234.3K word count mark), but there's no more guesswork, only refinement to do.

Since the epilogue always leads into the next book, I've also warmed up the characters leading into UnHeard, my NaNo novel for next month.

The edit for UnSung will wait. For the rest of the month? Cover art! I've staged the foreground layers for painting, just need to get it done. I will be redoing UnNamed's cover to fit the new convention. In the future, when I start new series, I'll be planning themes in advance. I didn't do this for UnNamed because I only decided to make it an UnQuadrilogy at the last minute. One of these days, I'm sure I'll be able to do a standalone novel but fantasy is just too tempting for the serials.

Piscine, one of my many plotted projects in wait, will be a sci-fi mystery thriller. It is definitely planned as a standalone yet since it could very well become serial, even that is one I'll plan a cover for that could carry on a theme.

The Dreampunk Chronicles, a Steampunk YA project, will definitely be serialized. I use both real world places and surreal fantasy destinations there so the possibilities will extend as far as I dare. I am still planning to write one of these following NaNoWriMo, but... After I set up UnSung for publishing and UnNamed for republishing (just a new cover). 

For those that bought the first edition, I may try to get some posters printed of the new cover to you, signed and sent free of charge as thanks for early adoption. I'll have to look at expenses but I really want to look at swag, convention booth options and so on for the coming year regardless.

Yes, the webcomic is another script I play with. With the way things are planned already, that's looking at a Fall 2019 slot at the soonest. I should have the first Dreampunk and UnHeard at least drafted by then. More details on those at a later date since I'm planning too far ahead already to nail down dates.

In the foreseeable future, Virtual FantasyCon is right around the corner, November 4-10. VFC Reader's Corner is a group you can join for the details. Remember, The Magical Book of Wands is up for preorder on Amazon. It's a great mix of fantasy short stories (I had the chance to read it this past weekend) and it's worth a read! Historical, urban, dark, traditional-- whatever your fantasy tastes, there's something for everyone. 

Here's hoping 2019 is an amazing year! 2017-18 were full of great learning experience, ups and downs aplenty, so I'm going into in with the same blend of optimism and cynicism that keeps me afloat. Thanks for hitching along!

Bras Don't Prevent Sagging Breasts and Other Reasons Why You Should Always Research What You Think You Know

Funny the things that inspire a bit of thinking... Hey, did you know that bras have never been about long-term preservation of breast shape and defying gravity? However, the study that actually asserts that bras can actually make the ligaments that hold up breast tissue 'lazy' is not as nearly as old as the bra, even fairly new. Like 15 years leading up to the study's conclusion in 2013 new. (LINK) If you hop around, studies tend to offer one exception-- supportive sports bras. Yes, bouncing while exercising actually CAN be detrimental (and painful). Personally, I stopped buying vanity bras many, many years ago and actually wear padded t-shirt type lounge bras all day and night long. This is more about preventing 'headlights' and assuring comfort, but the issues like back pain and sagging actually seemed to self-correct since. However, one of the reasons women gave me for getting a bra the moment my board-flatness became bountiful was to prevent sagging.

Precisely why everything you're SO sure about probably needs to be fine-tuned more often. 

Women's anatomy has faced a lot of confusion over the years. I can't say for certain modern schools are correcting this, but I remember my health class made it clear that the hole at the head of a penis routed both urine and semen. Sex education seemed to gloss over anything more than the basic sexual organs so we learned words like vulva, cervix and uterus, but not that we don't at all pee from the same hole we pop babies out of. Women find this out the hard way. It's not always when we first start out period either. Many girls start with pads because tampons seem terrifying (even once they've had sex-- a dry tampon is never painless to remove). In fact, it became clear several years after I started my period that they weren't that close at all-- when I peed on my hand a little trying a tampon. I don't mean to be too crude here, but women kind of have an 'aha' moment about their bodies that men don't have the benefit of. Men married for 30 years, quite familiar with their wife's parts, sometimes don't know this. Hell, some women probably don't really think about it-- at least until they have to have a catheter inserted or some other revelation of the actual location. (For a hilarious example of this, Orange is the New Black has an episode where the trans-woman character has an entire prison full of women using hand mirrors to prove it.) Vaginas themselves aren't really that sensitive (again, to my knowledge). I can pick up things like pressure, but the only thing even remotely sensitive is the clitoris. It's actually a combination of internal pressure and clitoral stimulation that leads to orgasm. Again, for some women-- sorry, we're just not all in the same category here either. Some women get nothing out of penetration and only rise to clitoral stimulation and vice versa. This is why some swear foreplay is better than intercourse.

I've probably lost some of the men with this one, but if you're still with me, it's actually important that I used examples involved something I actually have personal knowledge with. We don't actually talk about many of these things; not because women's bodies are 'shameful' (I really wish extremist feminists would choke on a dick every time they try this argument) but because often, we feel fucking stupid that we didn't realize it sooner. Why anatomy classes and sex education classes haven't decided where a woman's pee hole (and I shit you not, this is medically accepted terminology even) fits on the curriculum is beyond me, but nevertheless...

You don't know what you think you know about most things.

This goes for that degree you earned. Technology, medical, law, art, information-- it ALL changes. This is why many legitimate colleges often offer supplemental courses for life. So when a new program, a new law, a new medical condition comes along, your expertise doesn't rely a 20 year old education that is sometimes dangerously obsolete. This is why certain professions do keep active databases to consult for every case, every diagnosis. One missed symptom could lead to a deadly diagnosis. Let's not be over-dramatic here and wind it back down. Even as an artist or a writer, you don't want to fall behind on digital technology. Even if you use a traditional medium, it's imperative you learn how to digitally capture it best to take advantage of presenting it on social media or websites to attract buyers and fans.

Your stories are not less affected, writers. Even when you write fantasy, it's not really the easy way out to construct a world from scratch. It should be easy to just look up historical facts for your medieval fantasy and take them for rote because history doesn't change, right? Nope, sorry-- even dinosaurs are getting more entries in terms of subspecies and discoveries. It's also just as likely that a certain weapon or tools actual uses might have been given an educated guess-- at least until Bob the Butcher's leather-bound diary is found on his excavated body, revealing some actual uses even experts didn't foresee.

Knowledge can often give us a sense of ego, especially when we tend to know more than most people. Attaching 'expert' or 'master' to our name doesn't not make us the last word either. If we understand the weight and responsibility of knowledge, then we should always be suspicious of how it is spun or even how we spin it in presentation. Even when it makes perfect sense, we should always check for ourselves. Beware of bias, beware of ego, beware of that little trick the brain like to play on everyone-- filling in the blanks to bury the fear of the unknown.

Embrace the doubt of what you might not know. Check again when your ego seems oh-so-certain even. There's really no shelf-life or acceptable age for knowing what questions to ask. The internet now gives you a place to quietly feel stupid and educate yourself. Even the most intelligent of our species sometimes took a few thousand years to even think to ask certain questions, let alone answer them. Factors like religion, culture and society even buried some of them on purpose. Curiosity, historically, killed a whole lot of inquisitive kitties. New studies will disprove old studies and old studies will actually be found to be correct with the new study being fudged so the claimant could make a name for themselves (if you wonder why brain-dead anti-vaxxers exist, it's because of this. LINK). And no, you don't get to pull Darwinism's natural selection against babies and kids with auto-immune disorders if you're a fucking Creationist.

It's okay to carry biases, to write with biases (in fiction, especially), but at least be self-aware. There are times where cherry-picking is actually about separating the wheat from the chaff, but there are also cherry-pickers that are goblins against reason and progress. When you hear people vilifying vaccines for trace amounts of poisons, they will absolutely refuse to acknowledge there are trace amounts of cyanide in apple seeds, that any damn thing you consume could kill you if you consume enough of it. However, in certain doses, they are also helpful, even life-saving. You often get debates where they ask you for sources-- not so they can change their mind but so that your endless search for verified sources will wear you out enough that you realize it's a waste of time and give up. This is how keyboard-warriors 'win.' They don't actually need intelligence or proof-- they just need you to realize that you have better things to do in life than suffer fools.

Back to my fantasy peops, I hear ya when ya say 'it's fantasy; there are no rules.' You're almost right, but it isn't that there aren't any rules, it's just that it's your burden to explain them if you're suspending belief. I agree that fantasy is where you can rewrite society, create utopias and dystopias, and so on, but it is actually difficult to make this work if you're not making sure all the characters and plots uphold rules that probably don't come as naturally to you as you think. You'll slip into what does come naturally and realize you've destroyed entire chapters by traveling down a contradictory road, every piece after supporting the exact opposite intent. Our genre isn't as easy as it's made out to be (nor as complex as some writers have tried to make it-- not all fantasy requires companion glossaries).

In my previous post, I talked about planning. If you want complex ideas to translate well, you might spend a LOT of time researching and creating a strong web of seamless logic. However, one of the reasons we turn to beta readers is because we're not always flawlessly capable of knowing which questions to ask sometimes. We're so immersed in this rich landscape of details that it's stupidly easy to forget our left-handed swordshuman appears to be ambidextrous when they are just as good with their right. (I almost typed 'he is just as good'-- unconscious defaulting that was caught this time, but next time...) (Side note: If you have a swordshuman and it's not said in comedy, fuck your story. Chances are your shit is FILLED with virtue signaling of the PC variety.)

Strong opinions, strong language, are just that. They empower some and are distasteful to others. In my experience, market research is very nearly pointless. Safe stories just don't appeal to some people, edgy ones come off as trying too hard for others. Self-awareness, again, gives you some idea of the types of people who will like your story and the ones that won't. I've been in so many groups where egos set out to squash your ideas with yellow language like 'I don't see why anyone would like this idea in a book.' You know, as much as I loathe PC bullshit, there are plenty of people who are gasping to keep it alive too. I don't have to like it-- it's there whether I do or don't. Logic doesn't support the market, not really. It's WHY psychology fascinates me. There seems to be no bottom, no destination for what people are capable of. Studying it makes it conscious why I don't like certain people and am drawn to others. It also helped me understand why I tend to attract psychopaths (but how I learned to make them bored with me).

The more abyssal the research, the more tempting; I truly believe that. At some point, your deep dark rabbit holes will be the sort of obsession that people will try to shame you for or tell you it's useless. Some people dedicate their entire lives to research that which they are never credited for until their work is passed on and completed well beyond their years. It's easy to think of it as tragic... but never pity the ones who embrace their purpose. Lack of faith is pitiable to them. There is nothing harder or more satisfying than latching onto that purpose. People with a purpose, they'll stop arguing sanity with everyone. They won't suffer others to wear them down. They'll even tell you you've won if it will shut you up.

--------------

UPDATES: my laptop charger came in the mail and I couldn't be more psyched that I have my laptop working again! This is why my posting speed didn't taper off TOO much from the daily. I was aching to get back to typing and scheduled posts like crazy.

There was beginner's angst, just what I was afraid of. I stared at my laptop like it might bite me. So I couldn't just dive right back into UnSung. Instead, while making sure my backed up files were up to date, I came upon my script for the webcomic. Ended up spending a few solid hours writing up some more episodes. In truth, I want to plan about 20 episodes before I set out to draw it. I'm up to about 10.5 episodes.

What else? I opened some templates and set out creating color palettes for the UnQuadrilogy covers. I decided on a cohesive theme to extend across the series. As much as I love the original UnNamed cover, it doesn't quite carry over in theme. I'm going to try a very different style than my usual comic style, but it's important to me to show off my flexibility in design and mood.

So September... I wasn't expecting to get my charger so soon, so it gives me a couple of weeks' boost actually! I've decided that UnSung Part III and other writing projects are going to get a solid binge in the next two weeks. The planning gave me so much momentum, it might go quicker than expected.

October will definitely include prepping for NaNoWriMo and making sure I market the anthology. I actually want to focus on art here though. My writing got a longer run than planned and I want to hunker down on those UnQuad covers. I do want to try to cram as many of my big projects' needs into the next seven weeks as possible so I can crack down on NaNoWriMo in November.

November is the No is NaNoWriMo. First and only focus... 'Nuff said.

December-- what I call PeEdDiMo. Please don't coin that, no matter how much it makes you laugh. Personal Editing Disaster Month. I'll edit my NaNo mess, UnSung's draft and whatever other carelessly written messes I end up with. It's... not really as bad as it sounds. I'm an eager masochist when it comes to editing. It's not exactly easier now that I have great methods to streamline it, but it's massively satisfying to be done with it because of what a pain in the ass it is. Give it a good spanking and it's all goosebumps and tingling, not welts and bruises. 😉

Future updates will probably just explain what actually happened. Heh. Sometimes I wander from intent. Not a bad thing. It really just ends up meaning the priorities are spread out between things differently. I might not have gotten as far as I hoped with x project, but projects a, b, and c might have gained from it.

Character Profiling: UnNamed

In case the blog title and any previous posts haven't emphasized this enough, this little exercise in profiling my book characters will definitely prove unconventional. In case you think I go out of my way to be over-the-top on purpose, nah. 

I wrote UnNamed after making fun of myself for the millionth time that, while I never forget a face, I'm 95% likely to forget your name until I've known you for about six months. Even then if I don't see you after a few years, just as likely to forget. The main character survived an incident in his mid-teens that left him badly scarred and with a specific amnesia when it comes to names (and likely the circumstances of an emotional trauma prior to that made his brain trigger the conditions of that amnesia). He skips over any attempts for others to learn his name and he gives people nicknames that serve as mnemonic devices for himself, not always flattering or unoffensive.

For that reason, I cripple the reader a bit. You do not always learn their names but you attach his naming conventions at his level. He doesn't allow himself to be a sympathetic character but he's not an asshole just to be one, he just survives by understanding his limitations and emphasizing his strengths.

I'm already cutting a good picture of the first MC. Again, I'll labor to keep out spoilers for the ones looking to read it. It's worth the surprises.

The mercenary

Hair: dark

Eyes: dark

Distinguishing features? Four distinct scars

Unable to return to the city he was raised in, he is left with few choices in terms of survival and one almost gets him killed. Deciding mercenary work is the safer choice, he lives a dangerous life but one on his own terms. Not altruistic by nature, the discovery of an artifact leads him down a path that turns his unexceptional existence into one he never could have predicted.

The kid- Brat

Hair: ?? 

Eyes: ??

Distinguishing feature: androgyny

There are zero people that the mercenary trusts in Orendon, but Brat is the safest bet when the mercenary can't travel with the artifact. Brat is a street thief, their mother is a prostitute. The average pipsqueak kid who loves adventure but lacks courage, the mercenary only brings the kid into his mess because the kid is linked to the artifact. Despite their glaring differences, they are more compatible companions than either would ever admit.

The barmaid- Cherry

Hair: red

Eyes: blue

Distinguishing features: ??

Meets the mercenary when he gets blitzed in the bar she works at and accuses him of stealing from her. Discovering she is yet another link to his mystery, she tags along to find others like her. A generous yet shrewd woman, she is both fire and ice in nature but that flexibility makes her resourceful too. She doesn't balk at asking for help but is also capable of handling herself.

The socialite- Sunday

Hair: dark 

Eyes: dark

Distinguishing feature: vitiligo

A self-possessed woman, practical and adaptive, she doesn't bat an eye when her life takes a turn with the mercenary showing up. He calls her Sunday (he means Sundae) after the ice cream dessert because of the contrast of her skin. Unoffended since she can tell it isn't done in cruelty.

The living doll- Dolly

Hair: blonde

Eyes: blue

Distinguishing features: none

A nervous girl from a farming family and one that brings out people's protective instincts. Petite and youthful in appearance, her childlike personality makes people liken her to a doll. Joining this growing group, it is her first experience away from her family. She is curious and a bit naive, but still nervous about being away from home.

The giantess- Brute

Hair:

Eyes:

Distinguishing features: size,  blue tattoos

First seen working at a dock unloading crates. Despite her intimidating appearance, she has a generous sense of humor and a vulnerable side underneath it all. She is drawn to feminine women, everything she isn't, but until the group comes along, she lives a life of hard labor to blot out the complications of her past.

The mother- Reina

Hair:

Eyes:

Distinguishing features: mother

Toting around her children, she struggles to surpass the difficulties of being a single mother. Because she reminds the mercenary of a specific person, he gives her the actual name of that person. The only way to chill her warm personality is to threaten her children.

The guard captain- Amber

Hair:

Eyes: Amber

Distinguishing features: air of authority

A headstrong cautious woman who is driven by a sense of duty. When tragedy strikes, she leans on the discipline of her training rather than an emotional response.

The flower seller- Flower

Hair:black

Eyes:

Distinguishing features: 

A soft spoken sort, who is matter of fact but not blunt. 

The spy- Blayde

Hair:black

Eyes:

Distinguishing features:
Unlike her sister, she is brash, quick to act and sarcastic. Despite her rebellious nature, she is more virtuous than practical.

What's difficult about profiling these characters is that their appearances were relatively short. I have one regret and it's that I tried too hard to keep this entry in the series short. In truth, it could have been fleshed out like I'm am doing with UnSung, easily making UnNamed also stretch more comfortably into three standard length books. I didn't realize what this series needed until I shed the limits of querying it. In fact, I probably hurt it in trying to fulfill that.

Live and learn. Maybe the richness of the ideas in store for this series will inspire translations into other media. It's always possible that I'll want to revamp these stories for a comic format. If I truly felt it was a lost cause I would jump ship. The idea of doing UnNamed based short stories stems from that need to paint a bigger picture from the source material. I want to explore the mercenarys's past as well as the Maidens. Now moving forward, I will be bringing in the history of the Sentinels so that was meant to stay vague through UnNamed. UnHeard and UnVeiled will actually pull in a lot more of the ancient history I've hinted at, although UnSung has done a bit of that too.

One thing I am certain of is that epic stories are best served by doing away with a word count. Write the story, exactly what it needs to be-- worry about parsing it later.

I'm no GRRM either. By that, I mean I'm not looking to clog with filler (one hell of a storyteller but I'm not saying anything he hasn't heard a million times).. If you're familiar with Dragon Age, it's more like that. There aren't rosters of meaningless deaths upping the page count, but the massive undertaking of the past, present and future of an entire world. Cultures, mythologies, intentional characters. The fact of the matter is that it's almost impossible to avoid 'telling' in epic fantasy if you try to fit huge ideas into compact counts.

Again, live and learn. In any case, this is precisely why I want to do some spin-off stories. It's still a complete novel but I want to visit it more leisurely.

I think sometimes a writer just wants to keep picking at scabs. Sometimes you want to go deeper or splash on the surface a bit more. I do have a love of short stories because of King's Dark Tower series shirt, Sisters of Eluria. It led me to read them (although it's still my favorite). While I find his novels hit or miss, I think he writes brilliant short stories. Perhaps it's the inspired burst in its  brevity that makes it so engaging but it really suits his pacing and style best.

Sharing is Caring!

As promised, I'm sharing what mischief I was up to in making a gift for my friend's birthday.

You may or may not recognize the hat from Dramatical Murder, specifically belonging to a character known as Noiz. I always feel odd when I admit I'm not a modern anime fan. I haven't watched anything that's come out in the past ten years, my entire influence in the style dating from between my freshman year of high school up to my mid-twenties. I simply stopped being an avid consumer and switched to being a creator. Likewise, I have never seen this anime, but anime costumes are still among the most inventive so they're great fodder for my creative pursuits still.

The crochet version, since I don't knit. I realize it is a ridiculously busy picture, but such is the nature of my sanctuary.

There is also another issue I face and a confession to be made: I absolutely suck at wrapping gifts. My friend Emily must have inherited the superhuman ability from her mom because she is amazing at it. In fact, most people I know are at least decent at it but my attempts look more like a hostage situation. Instead...

 My motto is 'If you can't wrap, rap.' In this case, I whip up some whimsical poetry to slap on the boxes.

Boxes, giftbags, shoving ribbons and stickers on things is my go-to for avoiding the failed origami I produce.

Now, baking, I can do baking! Baking and cooking are something of a superpower. My dad used to flip out because, even on boxed meals, I didn't follow the directions. After surprising the hell out of people that it was just my version of Hamburger Helper, even my dad adopted my way of bumping up the quick meals with some winging it.

And yes, cooking from scratch is not excluded. I'm definitely not one of those crock-pot chefs that congratulates themselves on their ability to swipe a recipe from social media.

So that's my gift-giving share! Feel free to swipe the idea whether wrapping is something you dread or not!

I love sharing so writing novels is always going to make me squirm with impatience. I'm very guarded about how I share my unpublished work. In any case, I want to offer up something a little different. Even though I started a short story on here that hangs in limbo for now, I am thinking of working on some short pieces branching off of UnNamed. Because I had once entertained trad-publishing it, I kept the word count low, but I really felt like I would have liked to stretch some things out a bit like I have been for UnSung. It's very difficult to sell agents and publishers on big manuscripts, which is one of the main reasons the first Harry Potter book was so small in comparison. Since I've decided this series needs creative control more than the industry standard offered, it was a real breath of fresh air being able to expand the idea without staring a word count. It grows or shrinks depending on the story's need, not the market.

So keep an eye out for a short story scene branching off of UnNamed. Might be a bit of a spoiler if you haven't read UnNamed, but I'm actually going to build these scenes around his life prior to events in the book so while you'll recognize the mention if you have read it, it doesn't actually overlap the book itself or spoil the main plots.

It Be the Time of the Updates!

Mentioned this before, but because of the plots in my current WIP, I've had to run at least cursory factual edits following each Part of this projected three-part book. I roughly knew what each part would entail from the onset, but even with planning, I kept a pantser mentality-- which often meant fiddling with details that I liked better as the ideas presented themselves along the way.

That being said, yesterday, I finished the run-through on Parts I and II, where I'm currently drafted to. I'm not planning on jumping right back into writing so I'll be taking a short "break" of indeterminate length. I took some great notes to look out for when I'm starting up this conclusive third part, but there are a few parts I had to mark because they were based on my memory of events in UnNamed. I do not trust my memory to be 100% so I'm going to be reading UnNamed before going back into my third draft. 

Why? Well, I published UnNamed back in February (on my mother's birthday to be exact) and it's July. In those five months, I did about 6 or 7 book covers projects, some odd number of art projects besides that-- juggling those things made it necessary to reread much of UnSung's progress even, just to be sure I was still recalling events as well as the characters would (or rather better, because I'm pretty much the Almighty of Almighties where their development is concerned). Sometimes even notes miss out on the subtleties and it's completely useless to try to create emotional or dialogue shortcut devices or notes. You have to creep over those moments in the raw, test them over and over fully, to see if they're still working for the story.

In any case, UnSung Part 3 drafting will be my next hunker-down project. In the interim, I'm going to play peasant/house-elf and get some cleaning and organizing done. The subsequent scheduled post, another cover reveal, ought to tell you why. If you didn't get to it, my birthday and the release of the final(?) book in my first series coincide a week from today and not only do I intend to enjoy the week ahead fully, but I intend to jump into more summer project fun without having any excuse for distraction. Fully cleaned fish tank, dusting, vacuuming, the Wiping of the Surfaces, making sure all things I will need for my projects are readily accessible (notebooks, clean fast computer, pencils, pens, drawing tablets-- you know, my tools of the trade).

Rituals can be cathartic towards the anxiety of beginning new things. Or, continuing old things, which is what I remind myself if I get the beginner jitters. I call it Domestic Tetris, the stacking, organizing, brain-engaging act that doesn't separate me from the Plotting Tetris I'm lining up for. Because, let's face it, a very involved process can leave us a little forgetful for the domestic parts of life. You just don't really notice those dishes or clothes piling up with your heads engaged elsewhere. 

Not that it ever gets terrible. Keep in mind, I'm raising two boys so there's only so much I can get away with falling into any task uninterrupted. They're old enough now that they actually get what goes into my work and they're mostly very considerate of giving me ample time to do it. They're still kids though and they need things and in truth, I like the time they want to spend with me too. Just as much as wanting to know when they're hungry or sick or need help, I also want to hear what they think about and are interested in. Many times, they've inspired my own ideas in some way too.

Leaving the post at that. Finished one thing, taking a break to better tackle the next things ahead. I do have some short comic ideas in my head and the web comic idea still nagging for my attention, so I might do a bit of that here and there too. Really no use making plans where I'm concerned. Creatively, either I'm in or I'm out and there's not really much compromise when it comes to my attention. I can force it a bit, but as a rule, if I can't get my head in it within 15 minutes, I'm just wasting my time. I'm more likely to sabotage my own work and end up running some frustrating damage control. So it will be what it will be and hopefully, I can share some more interesting work with you once I've latched on enough to bring something to completion. Having a great track record with it so far.

The Editing Paradox

So. I sits down to do me some editing and the game changes. I knew UnNamed would be opening a can of worms, but I had no idea that revisiting it to clarify a character's development would be a traffic jam. It's not a huge spoiler to say that I introduced a time travel concept that I only worked out on a skeletal level for the first book. Tonight I had to revisit all of the concepts more fully to continue its promise.

Unfortunately, describing it in any detail would probably just confuse it. It's a much simpler idea rolled out in small doses as the story grows, but it's because of the other storylines and events that it  just doesn't sound as complex as any attempt to summarize it would. I know this means that I will have to reference the first book as well as recomb the 1st part of this book to make sure all facts line up. Of course, book one has the final say; it's published.

Now, I did need to work out the details before moving ahead, to make sure any more mentions in Part II line up; why make more work for later. However, it does mean I have to resist the urge to move backwards. The point of this edit is still lining up part 1 and 2 in its current sequence. I'm making sure that, while it's fresh, I'm aware of what I already have and only adjusting what contradicts as well as any grammar, punctuation and wording immediately obvious. I'm also allowed to add anything that can help with pacing or storytelling. At this stage though, my only rule is not going back. If I do, I might create a paradox in my thinking that forgets the chronology and screws up what the characters know or not.

I still have to draft Part III. Part I and II being cohesive will actually make Part III almost lightning fast. After that, I'm adding a reread of the first book before editing all three parts. Once all three parts are edited? I step away for a few days or a week then do a last edit. Nope, still not done, because I do the epilogue leading into the third book at the end of the first.

Although, I may have to check on whether I can technically call this one an epilogue... In the first book it was, but this one is more like a prologue but at the end of this book. I like to set the stage for the story at the technical end of each one, something that isn't just repeated so it's not a preview and certainly not a preface or foreword, which are author's notes at the beginning and end, nothing to do with the continuing story.

(I looked it up for anyone who wondered. Technically, an epilogue is only defined as a section at the end after the main plots have been tied up; doesn't specify that it HAS to be the same characters to count. The thing is that many old characters have the potential to show up again, so there isn't really a formal ending for anything until the last book is written.)

In any case, the struggle will be worth it. My notes grow but they also tend to get more organized as they come together.  Yes, often the idea of stopping mid-edit is horrifying for some people, but as I've said, I keep one rule at this stage and it's that I can't move backwards. Filling out a concept more fully so I can resume the edit only chopped into my time a couple of hours and it didn't reorganize my understanding and screw up the primary mission. 

One reason for this-- I keep notes of things I might have forgotten I wrote later now that I started over. As I run into them, I cross them out. If I jump around and change things, then I alter facts that I haven't processed yet, making my notes useless. If I get a good idea for later, THAT can go into my notes-- it fits into the forward-thinking rule. Because I still have many edits that will put me back to check on the newer notes, it CAN wait. 

Why create a time travel paradox in my own thinking? Now, in a simpler story, it's fine, but a complex idea becomes complex to read if I start playing Jenga with it. To edit a story like this, I have to start from the beginning and walk through it as the reader would. Every. Time. Anything that halts ME is going to halt the reader. Each time I make the journey, I am aiming to keep it moving. When the edit comes that I am not stopping, publish.

Really, I will love to see what this series becomes. As much as I love my first series for all it taught me about writing, I really feel the lessons are paying off in creating a very different story. I love when a new character stands in the horizon, holding a torch to pass for the sake of storytelling. I didn't want a story where the main character carries it so much that it can't continue without them. I wanted this to be a world where everyone else isn't just an NPC (non-playable character; sorry, gamer term on a writing blog) in 'their' world. It's never been more important to realize their lives even when it's not important to the story so that when they reappear, you don't think they were just lying on the floor with their eyes glazed over.

My hope is that your takeaway from this is in understanding why some processes are important to the type of story. Don't be afraid to write complex stories. If you find something is irritatingly flat, you can take notes on what to come back to or attempt to flesh it out right then. When you have this new understanding, you take it to future edits. No, you decided her personality would change so she wouldn't say it like that anymore. No, I decided his upbringing means he wouldn't know something like that now. Your first draft is your first impression of your world. That's it. Each draft reflects what you add to it when you get to know it better. It's not as complex as you initially think because you're making the connections to understand the transitions as you go. 

And yes, you can do a lot of backpedaling in a first draft. I know a lot of writers swear by the forward movement only rule here, to keep it creative, but there are three types of people: ones who dip their toes in the water and get in a little at a time, those who jump/dive in, and... those who don't swim at all. In terms of writing, either one of the first two are okay. You don't have to have perfect confidence to get things going. If you have to poke and edit and hedge a bit, at least you're moving. It isn't a mark of quality to be less confident. In fact, reasonably cautious writers are the ones that give themselves less work in the long run. Tortoise and the hare, if you will. Okay, hares can succeed too. I'd never hate on a fast writer because it's not less work just because the pace is different.

With that being said, a break is in order. I pulled away from the draft to take a 'break' and here I am. Not. Breaking. But now I am. If this is your break, thanks for sharing it with me!

Busy B

It certainly took Kindle Scout long enough to review, just to get back a rejection. I've seen some Hot and Trending books tanking on there so there's no telling what their criteria there is. Honestly, I'm so sick of identity politics deciding trends these days that I'm more than happy to continue self-publishing. 

So I'm putting UnNamed to the paces to prepare it for a release this week. Have not yet decided on pricing, but I'm thinking $3.99 for the ebook, but print will be determined by print cost. Once that goes through, please look for Book 3 completing the Truth about Heroes trilogy by the end of February. I'm working on painting the cover this week then I'll set that up. I'm hoping to shove all three into a text-only omnibus as well.

Believe me, this is no Cloud Nine experience. It's fraught with highs and lows like any other. As frustrating as that can be. I've only been doing this since August. Barely over half a year since I put myself out there. I don't market much and a good deal of groups don't let you unless you're in on the circle jerk. Which I'm not. I'm just not into manipulation when all I want to do is find an honest audience. I'm probably a little too 'pure' for quick results.

This is also part of the reason why I'm aching to do a web comic. I get a lot of positive feedback for my drawn stories. I can't churn out ideas with the same satisfying speed as writing alone when I'm drawing, but I do get a lot of positive feedback for my style and wit.

And let's face it-- I'm not one of those group hug types. I don't spend gobs of time stalking other writers and artists because I'm crunching to do the actual work. Oh, and I'm just not the fangirl type. I don't get starstruck, I don't rub elbows and squee. I might collaborate, but I'm a bit of a slave-driver when it comes to work. I'm sure that works for some people, but I'm just not a girlie-huggie kind of person. Yes, I probably do have a feminine voice as a writer and I write about things that I like, which as a woman are probably things other women will like. But I'm just not a we-womens-gotta-stick-together ride-or-die-girlfriend type either. Hyphens mean serious business, I'm telling you.

I will never ever claim to be an expert and I'm not looking to convince you I'm an expert. In fact, as much as I've read, the more I find Ernest Hemingway's simple quote to be true: "We are ALL apprentices in a craft that no one ever masters." Sure, we all want to make a mark, be quoted, have fans-- I would never deny that. However, if that means being safe or trendy, forget about it. I'll take a little niche market where all I can ever afford is making my fish eat as long as I can tell my stories.

You've seen plenty of my writing in public forums by now. I hope that if you haven't checked out my writing, you do so. Keep in mind, I know there's a lot of cringe in the introduction of my first series' book. I had always debated about rewriting it, but the more I read it and cringed, the more I realized that the awkward charm was fitting for the very awkward start of an adventure. I didn't want these characters to be eloquent and bad ass right out of the gate. It may or may not have been a good decision, but I committed to it because there are other stories to write and sometimes you just have to let your babies grow up. I feel like as the series matured, it began to show off the years I put into it. My characters were maturing with me (or dying off or 'retiring').

For that reason, UnNamed is a testament to how I matured as a writer. I think one of the best things about the advent of self-publishing is that we can let people see our work and learn how to market and value our own work. We can aim to please or aim to challenge and there are no literary snobs that have the power to shut us down. We get to grow in the public eye, not just when someone deigns to look down their nose at us. And it's a beautiful thing, somewhat quaint and ancient, like times when all you needed was a bound book and quill, copying each word by candlelight to immortalize your words. Now, anyone who puts in the time and passion can put a piece of themselves to market.

Woe betide the reader who now has to weed through the garden with all this burden of choice and no guarantees! So like the days when I picked up a book with no words on its cover, no idea what I was about to read and took a chance. Some of the touted classics bored me to tears but I've found joy in the 'trash' that critics will slam too. I don't think self-publishing dirtied the pool. There have been bad covers, poor editing and crappy plots long before that was ever a thing. Whatever standards people will claim exist to preserve the 'dignity' of literature have long been tainted by trend and politics and the whims of agents and publishers. It has never been a pristine pool and to be honest, my fondest memories of swimming were never in chlorinated pools but in dirty creeks.

Lastly, all my love to the risk takers who will read a new author's work (and not just the ones on those circle-jerk lists). It's so difficult to get those people who will invest time in you, who find you interesting and refreshing and want to see what you can do. I'm going to write with no guarantees of fortune or fame. I'm not going to please everybody, but I'd like to believe I have something to contribute. So I'll labor under that hope.

Keep writing! And stay tuned for more updates.

UnNamed is in review...

Well, campaign is closed for voting for UnNamed on Kindle Scout. It will be under review 'im the next few days' so I cross my fingers and wait. Now, normally I work from a place of hope. Work and creativity are something I can apply optimism to and I'm usually very happy with the outcome.

Yet after the stress of knocking out some huge milestones, I've developed a rather cynical approach to how much I let potential rejection get to me. I expect it and plan for it. I don't even make the proverbial basket you count those chicken eggs in. It isn't that my confidence has been destroyed. I wouldn't still be hacking away on another book if that were true. I still take those disappointments and find positives lessons. Some people might call it a thicker skin or putting up a wall when it's not quite the same. I need a window into humanity to be a creator. Placing barriers might keep things from getting in but it also stops anything from getting out. Yeah, I've been there too. To express myself I was breaking walls then wasting time building them up again.

So no walls. Guarded gates, perhaps. Just like you don't put everything precious to you and brick it shut. Protecting things too much means you don't really get to enjoy it either. Again, been there. My stories were too precious, my ideas too vulnerable, lock them all up. No, that's not where you want to be. So where do you want to be when waiting to see if someone else thinks you've got what it takes?

Don't wait. In my case, I might have imagined positive and negative outcomes but until a thing happens, the emotions-- no matter how overwhelming-- are superficial. Much like empathy, no matter how strong, it's secondhand. I've lost my mother but I still have absolutely no clue how you feel even if you did too. I don't know how every conversation with her triggered all the things that make you you, nor if you were on good terms, nor how you grieved. The same goes for stressing yourself out about something that hasn't happened yet, even when you have a pretty good idea what might. You might be the sort of person brave enough to fight fires but the first time you walk into someones house and their pet ferret runs across your feet, you're shrieking for dear life. Thing is, most of us have no actual clue how we'll react to a situation until it's here.

Personal anecdote time! (I need to make a graphic for these.) When I was in sixth grade, I started to get bullied. In elementary school, I never had problems with anyone so it was a lot to take in and it lined right up with my mom and dad separating. Mom wasn't there and Dad was in pain; I was scared of being another problem so I kept myself alone with the pain more often than not. My best friend at the time starting shadowing a more popular girl but I was starting a friendship with another girl who was not only also bullied, but unfortunately much longer than I was. (I adore that girl to this day-- my nephews and her daughters go to the same school.) On top of this, the city decided I didn't need my best friends living at the end of the street as much as we needed another highway (how my young brain saw it). I considered myself pretty weak and an easy target with all the blows life had dealt.

One day, I had gone down the street, just to sit in the woods before they went and tore them down too. Rather than getting to feel sorry for myself, I thought life handed me another cruelty as a girl who enjoyed verbally abusing me came out of the woods carrying a big stick. Everything in me wanted to run but I froze to the spot. I can't remember what shitty things she said but the usual fear had flickered from rage to something cold, something alien to me then. She tried to hit me in the face with the stick and my arm shot up. I caught it and smacked her right in the side of her own head with it. Then that urge to flee I and wanted in the first place came to my aid. Guess which bitch didn't bully me anymore?

I wish I could say all of my run-ins with bullies went that well. Yes, I liked the taste of that victory and yes, I've found that cold satisfying reactionary place more than once. I'm sorry I can't say the bullying had ended and every confrontation gave me superpowers. It took a lot of standing up for myself until by high school, being 'weird' was my new successful bully repellant. I learned that most bravado fell flat and I was far more brilliant using logic and humor to avoid resorting to punching sense into people. Violence was never my first instinct but a frantic reaction to getting people out of my personal space.

Okay, slice of life served, let me reiterate: we are not chained to everything we think we are capable of, good or bad. It's never as simple as knowing yourself. The state I am in while waiting-not-waiting to see how this campaign goes comes down to this. It won't be my first letdown and won't be my last. It won't be the sort of victory I can retire on and quit for a life of luxury and ennui. It could change my life for the better or I keep going and work to release it anyway, another slower climb to the top. I've been through the most likely scenarios. I have no actual idea how I'm going to feel about rejection or success here. I have a book I'm drafting and that's my primary focus, the thing I'm doing regardless of the outcome. I'm focused there.

If you voted for me, let me personally thank you for that. The system doesn't show how many votes I get. (refreshing, if you ask me. I don't like fixating on numbers.) However, it does warm me that people want to see me succeed in my oddly humble goal to just get by on my own hard work. Not wealth, not fame, just a living doing what I love. I hope I have a little something for everyone eventually (just not all in one book because those books are for no one). Being an ecclectic sort, I plan on staying genre-curious. Fantasy will always be my main playground but I've got a lot of angles brewing.

Keep writing. Or reading. Mostly keep a sense of humor. Best armor ever.